Canada For President [VIDEO]

From the platform of the Canada Party:

Nearly half of Americans feel that marriage must solely comprise a man and a woman, no matter how gay one or both of them actually are. The cornerstone of the anti-gay-marriage argument is that sexual promiscuity among gays will destroy traditional marriage. Somehow, through a mathematical formula we have yet to grasp, this means the best way to stop gays from having multiple sexual partners is to deny them the one institution that would prevent them from having multiple sexual partners. We accept that there are plenty of things about America that Canadians will simply never be able to grasp, so in an attempt to be fair to the type of people who think you shouldn’t be allowed to eat cake because they are on a diet, we propose that America allow one gay couple to marry for every straight couple that gets divorced.

  • Dean Cameron

    Who do I send a dollar too?

  • JustSayin

    Love it! I see heads exploding and sputtering ols ladies

  • Publius

    Wut?

  • Treg.Brown

    Using this formula, I’d better fall in love and marry quickly. We have a huge gap between the number of heterosexual divorces vs the number of “gay” marriaged to overcome.

  • David Walker

    This could solve so many problems.

  • Nic Peterson

    Prime Minister Centerfold is right!

    • Falconlights

      I WISH!

      • Barbara Schoenberger

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  • PLAINTOM

    I am not certain we have enough gays living in the Biblebelt states to cover the spread.

    • J Ascher

      Considering all the closet cases in the South’s “bible colleges,” we just might have that covered!

    • Reality.Bites

      There aren’t even enough to cover Kim Davis’s spread. (Take that either way you want to)

      • MBear

        Okay…ew

      • You need to be slapped for that mental image… GACK!!

  • TKW

    I think that we need to go to war with Canada, then surrender and let Ottawa and Trudeau take over our country.

  • Hue-Man

    This video sets out the actual Liberal party platform on LGBT issues before the October election. (Q = Queer, 2 = Two-spirited)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ekM8Gh53SM

    • Reality.Bites

      I think – someone please correct me if I’m wrong – we’ve gone further than the USA in mainstreaming the word “queer.”

      • in many ways, yes. Queer Youth is a thing. Many many many young canucks are self-identifying as Queer

        • jawnbc

          And some of us “less young” ones too! 🙂

          • ditto. i was once a Queer Youth, now i’m a Queer Thirtysomething 😀

  • marshlc

    Oh, glad you got on this. I saw it yesterday on FB and thought “Gotta show this to JMG” and then it slipped my mind.

  • Readen Reply

    Every so often I do troll job listings in Vancouver. Toronto and Montreal are too damn cold, but that could be changing!

    • MBear

      +8C and raining in Toronto. No snow in our backyard. Cold?

  • Guy in CA

    “we propose that America allow one gay couple to marry for every straight couple that gets divorced.”

    This would almost guarantee that same sex marriage would be enshrined in the U. S. Constitution!

    we propose that America allow one straight couple to get divorced for every gay couple that gets married.

  • Steven Leahy

    would we be force-fed poutine three times per week?

    • You make this sound like a bad thing.

      • DrRobY

        The poutine I have found down here in the States is dreadful.

        • Reality.Bites

          Did someone mention bad poutine?

          http://www.mcdonalds.ca/content/dam/Canada/en/product_pages/snacks-sides/hero/hero-poutine.png

          (I’d have shown Burger King’s and Wendy’s too, but their poutine trays don’t have their logo on them)

          • TampaDink

            I’ve never seen poutine in any fast food chain down here. Maybe I need to drive into the next county. During winter months, it has been said, Pinellas County FL is the southern most province of Canada.

            We became fans of poutine thanks to a local chef who often has it on his menu. I’ve bought frozen poutine at Trader Joe’s but it wasn’t nearly as delicious as freshly prepared. I blame the cheese curds that they use.

          • Reality.Bites

            Poutine requires fresh French Fries. So Five Guys could do decent poutine, but they don’t offer it, even in Quebec.

            We do have the chains up here Smoke’s Poutinerie and New York Fries that specialize in poutine with fresh cut fries.

          • TampaDink

            Five Guys would definitely be able to pull it off.

          • Reality.Bites

            I’m guessing we’ll have to wait for them to offer coffee first. They are VERY strict when it comes to any kind of expansion of their menu. So far it seems to have worked out very well for them.

          • TampaDink

            They don’t offer too many choices but everything I’ve ever eaten from there has been excellent. It could be psychosomatic, the idea of eating Five Guys is rather appealing. ;-p

          • Jafafa Hots

            During winter months Pinellas County is the southernmost part of MANY places. Chicago, Buffalo, etc.
            Kansans, though, seem to prefer Hillsborough.

          • TampaDink

            Good point. The east coast seems to draw more from the northeast winter refugees.

          • Jafafa Hots

            The Clearwater/Largo condo complex mine was in (mortgage debt just forgiven this week WOOHOO!!!) was almost exclusively retired Chicago cops. But right next door was the FL headquarters of a major Buffalo, NY developer, and Buffalonians infest the area… and I met people from Erie, PA, more “downstate upstate NY” etc.

            It’s like Pinellas is the rust-belt refuge.

          • TampaDink

            My maternal great-grandparents migrated from R.I. to Florida in the 1920’s when great-grandfather’s health required him to retire to a warmer climate. They even brought his mother-in-law and their 3 adult children soon followed. The part I still can’t wrap my brain around is what on Earth possessed them to pick Lakeland?!? Do you know how appalling it feels to have 3 generations of ancestors buried in Polk County? ☺
            I think that as soon as Flagler & Plant built their railroads into Florida it was destined to become death’s waiting room for the rest of time.

          • Jafafa Hots

            My aunt and uncle bought a place in Lakeland to retire to from their farm in rural central NY (Finger Lakes).
            I never could understand the choice of location.

          • TampaDink

            I hope that they, unlike my ancestors, waited until AFTER the invention or widespread use of air conditioning.

          • rabbit_ears

            KFC has poutine with chicken gravy, which does actually work well.

          • Reality.Bites

            I couldn’t find it on their website. Regardless, their fries are appalling.

        • That_Looks_Delicious

          I once had “gourmet” poutine at a fancy-schmantzy place in Flagstaff, Arizona. It was actually kind of addicting.

        • Go to Nawlins, che’ – aint nobody else does it right!

    • rabbit_ears

      Yes. Those are the best S&M scenes ever.

    • Only if you beg first

    • Diogenes Onionpants

      You’ll have to wash it down with Tim Horton’s “coffee.”

      • jawnbc

        yeah daddy, double double me

    • Mark Lewis

      So embarrassing. “Poutine” 🙁

  • Dicky

    That was hilarious and the guy was sorta cute.
    I don’t travel enough to have ever explicitly used the “I’m Canadian” disavowal, but someone on a flight said they thought I was Canadian because I was polite and quiet.

    • JD

      In Hanoi, my partner and I bumped into a very nice young couple at the Sofitel—very enjoyable conversation in which they identified themselves as Canadians…looking seriously uncomfortable when we explained that we were Canadians, too, from the same city! Turned out they were from New York.

      • Paige Turner

        Ive had this done to me as well. I remember being in NY on one occasion doing the GWB era and was constantly apologised to for the President and his behaviour. On one occasion he was in town for a Republican convention. I got more apologies that week plus New Yorkers were not happy!

      • Reality.Bites

        I was recently on a cruise where, before docking in the US, all non-US citizens had to be “inspected” separately. It was really nice to be in a group of Europeans who for once automatically assumed I was Canadian when they heard me speak.

    • I used “suis Québécois” once in Nürnberg when some panhandlers tried to con me.

  • Brian in Valdosta

    Or perhaps we could nominate a corporation for president? You know, now that they’re people, too.

    • Yann

      Isn’t that what western countries already do… I know that in Canada, most people understand that government sleep with corporation and that we are getting fuck all over without any of the pleasure.

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    Even using the 10 percent figure for gays within any given population, there wouldn’t be enough gay people in the country. But, we can certainly take in gay couples willing to leave countries where they are persecuted.

  • ByronK

    It’s true, we are pretty damned nice 🙂

  • DaddyRay

    I like the sweater and he is pretty adorable too

  • Mark Lewis

    I’m Canadian. I would LOVE to believe that most Canadians are polite, but that simply isn’t true. This video is a bit patronizing esp. considering that most Canadians are conservative and we JUST got rid of Harper.

    • Reality.Bites

      Except they’re not. Not by any reasonable definition of the word. The last time the Conservative Party got a majority of the votes was 1984. The previous time was 1958. The Liberals and NDP have had a majority of the votes in 1962, 1963, 1965, 1968, 1972, 1974, 1979, 1980, 1988, 2004 and of course 2015. (I’ve chosen to avoid deciding whether votes for the Greens and BQ should be counted as non conservative)

      Canadians poll to the left of US citizens on virtually every issue.

      • Mark Lewis

        Doesn’t feel accurate. I do live near St. Clair/Dufferin though; could be the reason. SUPER catholic area. I’m also from a small town. Doesn’t feel super left around here. 😐

      • Mark Lewis

        Green is left, BQ is right.

      • Mark Lewis

        I’m starting to think a good percentage of my family would fit in with the Douche Dynasty crowd. 😐 Lots of guns and hunting and throwing plastic in the fire and ATVs. I won’t touch them.

  • Herald

    Well, I agree with most of that, except for the part about marriage preventing people from having multiple sex partners.

    • J Ascher

      Just ask Newt Gingrich or Donald Trump about that!

      • Herald

        Or about a billion or so others.

    • Gianni

      He should have said, “supposed to semi-sort-of hinder people from having multiple sex partners”.

  • Paige Turner

    I adore this image. Pity theres only a year left for Obama

  • All of a sudden I’m in the mood for a tummy rub…

  • Phil2u
  • Barbara Schoenberger

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