OREGON: Armed Militia Nutjobs Vow To “Arrest” Local County Officials For Making So Much Fun Of Them

Via Raw Story:

The armed militants who have taken over an Oregon wildlife refuge appear to be moving toward “indicting” county officials who they say mocked them by threatening to impose a $70,000-a-day bill for their ongoing occupation.

Ammon Bundy said a bogus “grand jury” set up by the militants had served notices of intent Wednesday to various Harney County officials who had refused to support their armed takeover of the Malheur National Wildlife Preserve.

The militant leader suggested that Judge Steven Grasty, the chief elected county official, should be arrested for treason because he made fun of the out-of-state militia members who are trying to overthrow the county government and demanding that federal lands be turned over to their control.

“It appears that he must be trying to hide something because he’s getting very belligerent towards the Committee of Safety and, of course, towards us,” Bundy said.

A self-appointed judge who will oversee the bogus legal proceedings against Harney County officials said the militants would likely repeat their tactics in other states — and he admitted the group’s goal was to overthrow the elected government and replace it with one they believe was more “constitutional.”

See Bundy’s latest video at the link.

  • hiker_sf

    And can somebody please tell me why they are allowed to receive deliveries?

    Also, if they are allowed to solicit donation via mail or crowdfunding sites for criminal activity, shouldn’t it be shut down? Seize bank accounts?

    • Soren456

      I wondered the same.

      I can understand—and support—the government standing back. But I don’t understand the apparent open access to the place, everyone coming and going.

      Seems like they would seal it off.

      • hiker_sf

        I think election-year politics are playing into this.

        • I think the FBI is well aware of how Waco turned out to be a disaster for them.. Besides, I think they want to use the methods they used against the Montana Freedmen standoff in the 1990s.. As much as there isn’t an armed perimeter, the standoff is literally 30 miles away from the closest town areas Burns and Hines, which are tiny places to start with..

          • Michael W. Herberth

            Excellent point. More people should study the “Freedmen Conspiracy” and gain an understanding of a potentially lethal standoff handled correctly by the government.

        • bdrew

          I agree. It’s very unfortunate we are in an election cycle. We have to handle this very differently because of that fact. One wrong move, and they will become POTUS. Then we will have a far bigger problem. I feel sorry for my party right now. They are all but being held at gunpoint by the Republican right wing crazies with regards to MANY issues. This one included. They are going to ruin us.

      • bkmn

        Shut off electricity and any heat source they might have and they would be out of there by morning. And I hope they all get cuffed when they leave.

        • hiker_sf

          Open a gay bar next door. A few will stay and the rest will flee to protect the sanctity of their Christian souls.

        • timncguy

          the officials said they were going to shut the power off the first few days. whatever happened with that?

          • Judas Peckerwood

            They realized that the militants weren’t black or latino.

          • hiker_sf

            Or Muslim.

          • Cackalaquiano

            I read something about freezing pipes, so they kept the power on. Not sure if it’s true.

          • Paula

            I’m sure they have been snaking each others pipes every night.

          • melllt

            I remember reading, that they said they couldn’t cut the power to the refuge alone, cutting their power would include cutting the power to some ranches nearby.

          • mambocat

            I call BULLSHIT on whoever said that. It’s not like a city power grid. It would be worth the small investment to cut them off and re-route ranch power lines. It’s not that they CAN’T; they don’t want to spend the money and effort.

          • melllt

            Exactly, it’s not a city power grid. It’s miles of power lines with very few ways to cut it off without effecting people in the surrounding area. Miles and miles of electric lines aint cheap. Maybe you would like to volunteer to get close enough to shut off the power. And if one of those idiots with high powered guns kills you, well, I guess you died doing what you love

          • Michael W. Herberth

            1. The substation that powers the station is not co-located. 2) there ARE several other users on the line. 3) The power company refuses to send their employees anywhere close to the nutjobs due to safety considerations. 4) The BLM doesn’t want to risk pipe and building damage.

          • J Ascher

            Can’t they just remove the transformer(s) that serve the refuge? If so, neighboring ranches wouldn’t be affected.

          • David L. Caster

            The utilities could probably be disconnected in such a way as to not disrupt service to the locals. I suspect this is not being done precisely because the authorities are managing things in such a way as to reduce the visibility of the whole insurrection.

          • melllt

            If they want to get shot, I guess that could.

          • William Carr

            Yes the Utility company can simply disconnect the cables that run toward the bird sanctuary.

          • Michael W. Herberth

            Probably, if you will volunteer to go do the job. The Power Company won’t send their employees into the wack-jobs shooting range.

          • Bj Lincoln

            They brought children so the electric won’t be shut off. I say do it anyway. No power and no food.

        • Adam Schmidt

          My understanding is that there are children present in the building. Shutting off the electricity and such would cause children to freeze which would look pretty monstrous. So they’re waiting them out for now instead.

          • stuckinthewoods

            I think the presence of children also explains what sounded like school supplies on their “snacks” wish list.

          • Jamie_Johnson

            Of coruse they brought children (and probably women) with them. These are manly men who, like they did at Papa Bundy’s ranch in Nevada, sacrifice the women and children because they’re so, so brave.

          • mambocat

            Women over 18 choose to be there. I have no sympathy. They chose to marry the lousy bastards, they can freeze to death with them. I’m a woman saying this, too.

          • bdrew

            i agree! in this day and time, i would think the whole “women and children” thing would change to “children”. they are adults who are just as capable of following the law and/removing themselves from “the front lines” as they said the last time. As if women are somehow more valuable than men. I’m not one of those people who say men and women are equal in every way or can both accomplish the same things equally whatever they may be, but I am tired of people assuming a woman’s life is somehow worth more to a child, their families, or the world, than a man. It’s seems like reverse sexism to me, and I don’t use that word very often because it is so often misrepresented or used to describe situations it doesn’t or shouldn’t apply to and regularly used to vilify men. As a wife and mother, I value my husband and son’s life just as much as my daughter’s and certainly more than my own. In fact, if I had to make a choice of who lives or dies, and is left to raise our children, I would without a second thought say my husband stays, I go. He is a much better father and person than I am a mother or wife, and he happily dedicates his life to us as well as his emotions and worries both good and bad. He always puts us first to his own detriment at times. That to me, makes him irreplaceable. I know my situation is anecdotal, and I am almost positive he would say the same about me, but it is true nonetheless. I would hope the majority of men and women living in today’s world would feel the same. We are equally valuable to one another for different reasons. We don’t work with out the balance (nor does society. one not need have an opposite sex partner for that to be true. men and women balance the world), and I would be devastated, even more so for my children, if we were to lose him. My children would be greatly harmed by the loss of either one of us, but I personally believe the loss of their father would be much greater (that doesn’t mean I believe that is the case in all situations which is really the point of my comment).

          • Michael W. Herberth

            And I point out to you – gently – that some may not be able to just “remove themselves from the front lines”. Before you judge ALL of the women there, you might want to consider the environment some of them likely came from.

          • Michael W. Herberth

            The kids had no choice.

          • Michael W. Herberth

            Something else to think about – these “men” are the kind that subscribe to “barefoot and pregnant” principles of male-female relationships. Hell, Bundy is a Mormon – some of the most repressed and oppressed woman in the USA are Mormon wives. Easy for you to say that they all “chose” to be there and “no sympathy”, harder if you know that the choice for some might well have been stay with their “men” or risk being beaten and abused , maybe worse. Just sayin’…

          • Judas Peckerwood

            I believe the proper term is “human shields.”

          • mambocat

            They are using their women and children as shields for precisely that reason. Here’s my opinion: If people are allowed to put their kids’ lives at risk to pray for them to get better because of their religious beliefs, and the kids DIE, no one can do anything about it. If the power is cut off, they can choose to send their kids out to warmth and safety. If they do not choose to do so — if they ALLOW their kids to freeze — the fault lies with them, every bit as much as it does when the minor child of a Jehovah’s Witness dies after a car accident for lack of a simple blood transfusion which the parents refused to give them. If we can allow parents to pray their kids to death, we can cut the power and give the PARENTS the choice to send the kids to safety. Or not. As long as that is made clear in the media –“now it’s up to the parents to send the kids to safety, or not” — THEY still come across as the “bad guys” they are.

          • David L. Caster

            Exactly. They can and should be given the option to surrender their noncombatants. That probably hasn’t happened because the authorities are not yet prepared to move against the Bundyites.

          • bdrew

            I agree with your sentiment 100%! Unfortunately, if something happens, no matter how much we inform the media of that plan, they will twist the story and blame the government just as they did in Waco. Those people used their children as shields, and they paid the ultimate price. I don’t think our government is prepared to allow that scenario to even come close to happening again. At least not on our own soil. Apparently, there are no children in the countries we go to war with because they simply choose to ignore those children when indiscriminately dropping bombs on innocent civilians heartlessly concluded “that’s war” or “collateral damage”. In a technologically savvy world, I believe “collateral damage” should be stricken from our vocabulary and people held more accountable for those tragedies, but I digress (another day, another discussion). You’re are absolutely right though. These guys are cowards, and they should be stricken of their parental rights if they willingly put their kids in a very dangerous and volatile situation surrounded by ex-cons, thugs, and anti-government terrorists with grudges, guns, mental problems, and obviously uncontrollable tempers. It is absolutely a violation of the unwritten code between parent and child. Despicable!

        • teeveedub

          Hell, cut off their supply of coffee creamer and you’d accomplish the same thing.

        • MSW

          Cutting the power and heat at this time of year would likely cause tens of thousands of dollars in damage if pipes start freezing and bursting. I think it’s worth it but the powers that be may not be.

      • BlindBill

        These are white men in ‘merica – ’nuff said

        • Diane Stanley

          I say just shoot them.

      • mambocat

        Standing back? WHY? The government does not stand back when black people or hippies protest. Not in the least! OH WAIT, THEY’RE WHITE AND CONSERVATIVE! That’s why they aren’t getting shot at. CUT THEM OFF. SEAL THEM OFF. Cut off power, water, utilities. Allow no access or visits from family. Freeze ’em out. Create a no-fly zone over the area so their lunatic supporters can’t drop supplies. Drop-ship loads of hungry mosquitoes. To hell with them.

    • Queequeg

      I can’t understand it either.

      • Strepsi

        Because at least half the people in the state agree with them — it’s a rural gun-owning ranch county where (according to a correspondent I watched) most of the landowners have had a beef or run in with Federal land management.

        • Queequeg

          The locals have said that they don’t want them there. Even the arsonists who they are supposedly defending have told them to leave.
          I don’t doubt that the ranchers have had disputes with the government, but they have not occupied sanctuaries.
          If you get the opportunity, read “American Nations…” by Colin Woodward. It provides a lot of insight into our regional cultures and the differences between them.

          • Oh’behr

            That’s an excellent book. Certainly helped me understand the Intermountain West and why I didn’t feel at home outside of large cities. Also why I feel at home in Minnesota.

          • Oh’behr

    • danolgb

      They’re not even “receiving deliveries”. They’re going to the post office and picking them up. Their movement has been in no way restricted. The Sheriff doesn’t want confrontation so they just come and go as they want. It’s really a terrible standoff. He’s basically just let them take over.

      • Strepsi

        I don’t usually play the “if they were” game, but it’s so obvious that if they were black they’d all be dead now.

        • Captain Jack

          Or any other color for that matter….
          Essentially they turned into just squatters

        • Toasterlad

          Beyond obvious. This whole situation is just pissing in the face of anyone who isn’t a straight white male.

      • Jamie_Johnson

        Why aren’t the authorities arresting and placing whoever they send to pick up the mail and supplies in custody? Isn’t running errands for Bundy’s Band of Fools aiding and abetting?

        • PeterC

          All in good time !!!

        • danolgb

          They had the “leaders” at a meeting with the sheriff when he offered them “safe passage out of the state”. They refused. I have no idea why he didn’t slap cuffs on them right there. These people are being coddled.

    • David

      About all they’re getting are rubber dicks, how the FedEx man keeps a straight face is beyond me.

    • It would be embarrassing for them to have to pick up their own beauty products at the local Walgreens.

      • April

        They can’t. They spent all their money on guns.

      • perversatile

        -the overwhelming stench of fried food and home perms

    • David L. Caster

      The Bundy rebels are being allowed to build the case against themselves. Eventually their misdeeds will have accumulated enough weight to charge them with a laundry list of crimes. Moreover, their contacts will be traced and placed on watch lists. They are the worst kind of fools and are simply being given every opportunity to bring themselves and those that support them down.

      • hiker_sf

        I think you underestimate the extent of white privilege. Has papa Bundy stopped the grazing on public land? Has he paid his bills?

        • David L. Caster

          This is one you wait out. Watch, gather intelligence, and then quietly shut the rebellion down with a law enforcement action that is carefully documented and completely transparent.

          • Toasterlad

            Yeah, I’m not holding my breath for that.

          • hiker_sf

            You are such a cynic. Don’t you remember how many bankers went to jail for their role in the 2008 global economic meltdown? 😀

          • Toasterlad

            I think I forgot about that after the dazzling display of the federal marshalls leading a cursing Cliven Bundy away in handcuffs in 2014.

          • David L. Caster

            One thing a lot of us that were stung by the financial meltdown don’t realize is that the financial services industry, which includes the banks, ratings agencies and the rest, was operating within the confines of the law and the then in force regulatory frameworks. It is the law and regulations themselves that were flawed enough to allow the unbridled Wall Street betting to go unchallenged and ultimately collapse.

            This is why there were no high-profile perp-walks, as much as several were well deserved.

          • hiker_sf

            We disagree. There were no high-profile perp walks because these are wealthy, well connected people. Today, Goldman Sachs is “agreeing” to pay a $5.1 billion penalty. Agreeing? Really? There have been no laws created to prevent more scams because the well-connected people don’t want these laws.

            I think that minimally, the case could have been made that a crime was committed when they unloaded junk that the represented as having value.

            And with all of the violation of the public’s trust, our government could have insisted that all CEO’s be fired and that they relinquish some of their wealth.

          • David L. Caster

            Actually, you have just reinforced my point. It is legal permissiveness that allows this to go on. If we don’t want this repeated, we need to start electing people to office that will change the law.

            And with all of the violation of the public’s trust, our government could have insisted that all CEO’s be fired and that they relinquish some of their wealth.

            That may have made all of us feel better but it would not have come about by force of law since there was no law that would have empowered the government to do so.

            In the case of Goldman, the settlement results in it paying a $2.4 billion civil penalty, $875 million in cash and provide $1.8 billion in consumer relief. I’m sure this is too little too late for a lot of people that were damaged by toxic securities that Goldman in all probability knew were much more risky than they were advertised to be. Goldman was not alone and other institutions have reached similar settlements.

            Were there people working at Goldman Sachs that should have been perp-walked? Probably, unfortunately things didn’t work out that way precisely because of the way the banking and financial services system is regulated and controlled by law in the United States.

            You simply must realize that the laws and regulatory frameworks that were in place at that time would not have allowed the government to move against the private banking system in the ways you are suggesting. Neither of us like that, but it is for the most part the truth.

            The problem, Hiker, is that the banking system of the United States is not a government function. It has been left to private concerns and allowed to essentially write its own rules. Unless and until that changes, this could happen again.

            As an aside, Congress could have elected to simply let the overextended banks fail. That would not have helped the typical investor or mortgage holder or just about any other people that got burned in the crisis. Most of the $750B that was set aside by Congress for the TARP program has been returned to the treasury. There is differing opinion as to whether or not the bank bailout helped or not in the long run. Evidence suggests that it did help, along with Fed policy.

          • David L. Caster

            Neither am I because there is no rush. There will be a time to shut down the Bundy party. Right now it is just not necessary to give their “movement” any oxygen. Their day will come soon enough.

          • Ginger Snap

            I agree their shutdown will come and it will be their own doing.

          • David Walker

            I fully understand the “if they weren’t white” argument. My thinking went there first, too. And if papa shrub or the twig were president, I’d still agree. However, I have a feeling that Obama trusts his lieutenants to try to bring about a peaceful conclusion, primarily since they’re using kids and women as human shields. I think they’ve been given way too much freedom, and now that they’re all upset that the world is making fun of them there may be problems. Still, I am naive enough to think that Obama and his FBI have this under control and we’re simply not privy to the plan.

          • ColdCountry

            I think you’re right, and I also think that one reason they haven’t taken action is that the idiots are not posing a clear and present danger to anyone. (The hangers-on wandering around town with their guns are probably more worrisome.) Their threat to do this in other places and overthrow the government will not be taken lightly, I don’t think, and their “warrants” are a joke. Given enough rope, they will hang themselves.

          • Judas Peckerwood

            I doubt it. Two years after the first Bundy-fest, and there have still been ZERO arrests, asset seizures or other repercussions for their armed rebellion.

          • David L. Caster

            Fighting over some brush is not quite the same as an armed insurrection illegally occupying a federally owned building on a federal wildlife reserve. Calculated action will be taken. I can wait. I’m sure you are not the first to observe that this is turning into a pattern.

          • David L. Caster

            We’ll see. I think we should be patient and watch for a little longer.

          • Toasterlad

            If they had any more oxygen, they could terraform Mars.

            Ignoring the problem doesn’t make it go away. It lends it legitimacy.

      • canoebum

        I hope after this is over, the Feds make it abundantly clear (no pun intended), that each and every member of this band of troublemakers has lost the right to own any firearm, forever. All of their guns should be confiscated and their names placed on the database of prohibited persons. They can think about that while doing their prison time and selling off assets to pay the fines.

        • Cackalaquiano

          Will. Not. Happen. I’ll bet my full Powerball winnings.

        • Ginger Snap

          They need to lose their rights to federal land for grazing their cattle. They need to pay for what they use just like my family had to. These are not farmers/ ranchers they are the real welfarequeens.

      • TheManicMechanic

        Let’s hope it’s a felony for possessing sex toys in a federal building. =D

        • Oh’behr

          Especially one with wires and batteries which vibrate and make odd sounds. They might blow (up).

          Where’s the TSA when you need them.
          😉

    • james_from_cambridge

      I’m willing to sacrifice Oregon if Obama is willing to nuke it.

      • David L. Caster

        No, that’s not even necessary. Simply box them in, shut off the utilities, prevent communication with the outside world, and wait. It’s very easy.

      • canoebum

        Now, now. The birds, for whom the refuge was created, have a right to their place of rest and sustenance. Once we run the squatters out, tranquility can return.

      • That Guy

        I know you’re being facetious but my husband is from Oregon and he’s really annoyed with these guys. Just the other day he told me he wish the media would quit calling them Oregon militia men because most of them aren’t even from there. Besides Oregon is a blue state with legal pot, don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.

        • I went to school in Oregon, i.e in Portlandia.. Central and especially Eastern Oregon are completely different worlds than the west side of the Cascade Curtain.. In semi rural areas of Oregon, mainly on the Westside of the Cascades. Vegan hippies lived next door to Jevohovah Witnesses. Oregon has also changed much in the past 20 years, with Timber and mainly mill jobs disappearing or already gone.. Oregon has grown in population, but mainly in the Portland and SW Washington State Areas..

          This area is really isolated, and one reason this terrorists chose the area to make a military stand. I think most people in Harney and Malheur County are fine, very conservative, love their guns, love their hunting, and most importantly, they love their Dairy Queens, (i.e. The restaurants, basically the meeting place for these small towns). I vehemently disagree with them, but at least I can have a conversation with them, compare to the Bundy Brothers, Ryan Payne and Blaine Cooper and the rest of the psychotic gang..

    • Octoberfurst

      That has been my bitch about this since it started. Why are these imbeciles allowed to come and go as they please? Why hasn’t the electricity and water been cut off yet. (It’s been 2 weeks!) Supposedly an FBI team went there a couple days after this farce started. Where are they? Apparently they are nowhere near the wildlife sanctuary since reporters say there is no law enforcement presence anywhere in the area. So what gives? Now these morons are threatening Judges. So when will the law say enough is enough, we are shutting you down? Of course Ammon’s idiot father Cliven is still a free man after the standoff two years ago so I guess Ammom thinks he will get the same treatment.
      So I guess the message to America is if you are White, wear cammo clothing, carry an assault rifle and call yourself a “militia man” or a “patriot” you can commit any crime you want and won’t be held accountable. How nice.

    • delk

      They are a disorganized mess that is very heavily armed. All it would take is one hot head to fire a bullet and all hell would break out.

      I think that once they decide to leave they will be arrested.Maybe letting them come and go as pleased will give them false hope?

    • JT

      His next delivery should be by way of a drone.

    • BuffaloDan

      “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.”
      Poor things never considered that they would have to carry bags of dicks to morons….
      (PS: I used to set up Courts of Justice along these lines — and they carried the weight of every law I knew. Ordained by God, probably; and surely filled with the entire might of both my word and world. I used my stuffed toys to do so. I was six.)

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      They have children and aren’t afraid to use them.

    • Prion

    • kaydenpat

      Great questions. I think the answer is quite self evident though. Look at who they are when it comes to race and religion. Muslims, Blacks, etc., couldn’t do this and still be alive.

  • and yet this ridiculous clusterfuck is allowed to continue

    • Balderdashing

      Can treason be more clearly stated than this?

      • It will certainly be interesting when the armed militia begins to arrest the folks they’ve indicted.

      • Chucktech

        This isn’t treason. Treason requires a war where they give aid and comfort to the enemy.

        No, this is sedition. And those who commit sedition should face the same penalty as those who commit sedition.

  • Dot Beech

    Ass wipes. One cannot ‘constitutionally’ used armed force to overthrow the government of the United States and impose an alternative government of one’s own liking.

    Their ignorance is staggering.

    • David L. Caster

      And will be their undoing.

  • AW

    Is this real? Are we sure they aren’t some sort of art project? Or are they really attempting a “kudatah” (that’s how they spell it)?

    • BearEyes

      Coup d’état

      • AW

        uh… yeah I saw this thing yesterday I think where some redneck wanted a kudatah, from a facebook post. I just loved it and I imagine that is what they think as well.

        • Chucktech

          If they had even a scintilla of self awareness, they’d be mortified at themselves.

  • Octavio

    This is WAY good. I wonder who’s going to buy the screen rights? It’ll be the best comedy this Century. Wahooooooo! Dildo up boyze.

    • canoebum

      I think James Franco, Seth Rogan and Jonah Hill should have a run at this. Maybe Bruce Willis for a few extra laughs.

      • Toasterlad

        It’s the rural American Hustle that Hollywood’s been waiting for!

    • perversatile

      Bundy and Bundier

  • mjcc1987

    Go for it. These tards voted for shit like this and they fermented hate, fear, and loathing over a black President, so this is coming home to roost in their backyards.

  • pickypecker
  • April

    Their true colors are starting to show.

    Terrorists

    P.S. You know if a group of not-so-white folks that belonged to a certain religion made threats like these they would going home in body bags.

    • TampaDink

      I think that you are wrong….but only slightly.
      Under the circumstances you posted, the dissenters would have already gone home in body bags….at least a week ago.

      • April

        True

  • TampaDink

    They’re just butt hurt because they discovered that their new toys were used.

    • Gustav2

      No, they are butt hurt because no one sent lube.

      • TampaDink

        I hope that they can figure out some alternative. What fun are used dildos without a bit of lube?

        • April

          Send them some santorum…

          • William

            They can make their own.

          • Gustav2
          • pickypecker

            Thanks for posting this Gustav! I think this is such a lovely piece. Makes me a bit sad to remember the movie, but still…. 🙂

          • Gustav2

            I watched the movie again the other night. I knew those guys when I was young.

          • Cuberly

            I’m a big fan of Gustavo Santaolalla. This piece of his is goosebumps worthy as well.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMSwgG4UOWo

          • pickypecker

            Thanks, Cuberly! Quite lovely!!

          • Cuberly

            😉

          • TampaDink

            We’ll always have Brokeback Mtn..

          • Robincho

            One of the towering cinematic masterpieces of my lifetime, which stretches back to that banner year of All About Eve and Sunset Boulevard…

          • TampaDink

            All excellent examples of superior taste in cinema.

          • Robincho

            Now that you know the scope of my eldergayness, you’re never gonna ask me out. I just know it. (snif…)

          • TampaDink

            Don’t be so sure or sell yourself short.
            My appreciation for older men began very early in life.

          • Steve Teeter

            Damn. Now I’ve got tears in my eyes.

          • TampaDink

            But are they intelligent enough to realize this?

          • TampaDink

            He’s probably been fantasizing about how he can include these men on his campaign tour.

        • William

          Remember what Emily Post said about leaving your dildos in the mayonnaise jar. “It isn’t a vase!”

          • TampaDink

            I missed that chapter as well as the one that said all abuse is to be heaped on the mother of the bride.

        • safari2bongaloo

          ..

          • vorpal

            The old engineering saying:
            If it’s supposed to move but doesn’t, WD-40.
            If it’s not supposed to move but does, duct tape.

          • TampaDink

            There’s great wisdom in that saying!

          • TampaDink

            Perfect for those new sounding rods.

        • safari2bongaloo

          ,,

          • TampaDink

            It isn’t just for sandwiches anymore!

          • TampaDink

            No wonder they included chew on their wish list.

        • Cuberly

          Actually @ Gawker, LGF and a few other websites some users have sent the “patriots” containers of lube. They even posted screen caps of their confirmed Amazon purchases. FUN-E stuff.

      • charemor

        Maybe that is why they are asking for Miracle Whip.

      • radiofreerome

        Let them use sterno!

    • oikos

      and secretly turned on.

      • TampaDink

        It is getting harder & harder for them to keep their secrets. ;-p

  • Gustav2

    Having a fine levied against you is not mockery, it’s expensive!

  • safari2bongaloo

  • bkmn

    It is good for them to get some practice before they face felony charges themselves.

  • pickypecker
    • vorpal

      Best selection of (gently used) dildos in the country!

  • KnownDonorDad

    Where’s the blockade, already?

  • That_Looks_Delicious

    And stop sending them boxes of dicks.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “Incoming!”

  • vorpal

    bogus “grand jury”

    This reminds me precisely of Janet Porter and her impotent little delivery of “restraining orders” to SCOTUS during Obergefell.

    We saw how well that worked.

  • The Milkman

    For the love of God, make it stop. Seal the place off, take them into custody peacefully when they run out of supplies, and make it freaking stop.

    If these guys had been black, we’d have Waco’d the building by now.

  • Michael

    Regardless of his ridiculousness I think he is sexy

    • Oh’behr

      Not me. I’ll take someone else’s comment: You can’t fix stupid or cra cra.

      That takes away anything sexy.

  • Queequeg

    The longer they let these guys get away with this shit, the more it will embolden other nut cases to break the law.

    • That_Looks_Delicious

      Hmmmm I wonder where else we’ve seen that this year? Seems to be a pattern.

      • licuado de platano

        An eye straining pattern of stripes and x’s.

        • That_Looks_Delicious

          It is possible to mix patterns and have it look cool, although very busy.

          • TampaDink

            It didn’t come off looking formal enough to wear to the S.O.T.U. but I doubt that she was even this fancy for most, if not all 4 of her weddings.

          • William

            Be careful, or you end up with this.

      • oikos

        ….

        • kaydenpat

          Big improvement.

      • delk

        hair raising

        • John Kusters

          Oh, suddenly she’s a Jiffy-Pop! Love it! 😉

          • David L. Caster

            The higher the hair, the closer to God.

      • Sk3ptic

        What is the look she’s going for here? Psychedelic fundamental LDS Elvis librarian?

      • Queequeg

        What a charmer in her lovely, color coordinated outfit. Why, she’d be the purdiest gal at the county fair!

        • Chicago joe

          And win a big blue ribbon to put between her ears, just like Arnold Ziffel.

    • LonelyLiberal

      Actually, they’re playing this pretty well. While public opinion leans toward sending them a bag of dicks, this discourages others.

      There’s nothing a false “patriot” hates more than being laughed at for being an impotent loser.

      If it starts to go neutral in terms of the public arena, expect the power to be cut and shit to get real, very very quickly.

      • Trevor Brown

        You should try harassing the losers at rightwingnews.com they go ape dump insane if you just bring up facts like low unemployment.

        • TampaDink

          People like that are immune to facts.

  • sw42

    “It appears that he must be trying to hide something”

    Chyeah. His hysterical laughter.

  • Look at that beard. He trims it so meticulously. You don’t suppose he used to watch Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, do you? Nawwwww! It can’t be!

    • Gustav2

      I think, for him, it’s genetic.

  • The “Committee of Safety.” How Gang of Four!

    • Capritaur

      I wonder which one is the “madame.”

    • stuckinthewoods

      I think it’s a reference to the very beginning of the American Revolution when such named committees became local governments. The official legislatures were still under the crown. John Hancock chaired in MA, Edmond Pendleton in VA, etc, and they essentially replaced the royal governors, and the committee became a governing body.
      In 1995 twelve Texas militias tried this and they used the term. It showed they were like, rilly serious.

  • LonelyLiberal

    I didn’t know “Butthurt” was an offense…I thought it was covered under…drumroll…THE FUCKING FIRST AMENDMENT YOU ASSHOLE.

  • WhoDat

    How have those guys not been arrested?

    Nevermind. White and Christian.

    • Oh’behr

      And in their mind. They are the ‘native’ Americans. Native back to 1865 thereabouts. Never mind real other native Americans.

  • MichaelPierce1

    It is absurd that these guys think they can successfully go up against the Pentagon. The Government is very patient. I would have already called in an airstrike.

  • MrSkippy

    Well, unfortunately from Ammon Bundy my groups Committee of You Guys are Useless Fucks has indicted him for being a useless fuck.

    We intend to overthrow him and install a less useless fuck in his place.

  • oikos

    Tell us more Ammonsexual.

  • Mike C

    Remember those “parallel legal systems” the right-wing is always saying are about to sprout up……

    • Balderdashing

      The right-wingers want us to bomb Iran, so better we first clean up our messes at home. They’d be behind that, right?

      The sad thing is that real patriots to their country will get maimed or killed in finally resolving this self-styled militia’s tantrum.

    • Gustav2

      but…but…but the ones made up of white Christians are constitutional!

      • Oh’behr

        throw in Marlboro man style white Christians too. Helps if they all drove their RAM, Ford 350 and Chevy quad cabs to their revolution. No horses for these men. Yet lots of horsepower and all driven on Saudi gas.

  • oikos
  • Todd

    Treason: it doesn’t mean what Ammo Bundy thinks it means. I believe he has the actual meaning completely backward.

    • Bob Conti

      I believe if anyone’s treasonous, it’s this little band of douchebags.

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    LOL. If they had to arrest everyone who was mocking them or making fun of them, lots more jails would need to be built. Besides common sense and brains, these losers are also lacking a sense of humor.

    • Michael White

      There is nothing common about common sense. These folks (all of the GOP) can not comprehend logic or reason. Too much gun powder addled their brain

  • Toasterlad

    Alright, seriously, how long are we going to let these asswipes play “Wild Wild West”? Long past time for mommy to call them in for supper.

    But in the meantime, keep sending them dildos. Because that’s fucking hilarious.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mQOJ_Bk9qU

  • Jason Ergott

    Ah Christ, openly talking about over throwing the elected officials? It’s damn near time to get medieval on their ass.

    • Silver Badger

      Past time, really.

  • Hunter M

    Here’s my box for them.

    • Canadian Observer

      Wow, quite the collection… and these are just the “extras” you are willing to donate to the cause? *giggles*

  • Bob Conti

    So why do they hate the First Amendment? I thought the were “patriots.”

  • Canadian Observer

    The county officials should build a rampart (technically speaking, a circumvallation) around the area the area these asshats are occupying… they should use the freshest manure they can find to make the ramparts… and hope for a warm spell.

  • TexasBoy

    We should bill their estates for the cost of an armed drone to solve the problem.

  • RJ Bone

    Wow. Now they’ve moved on from sedition to treason. They have only to pull a trigger and it is legally the death penalty.

    Time to invest in Orville Redenbacher, folks!

    • William

      Keep popping that popcorn.

  • JR

    Sounds like these guys didn’t get enough structured playtime when they were kids.

    • LonelyLiberal

      Sounds like the structured playtime they did get was in a room with lead paint.

  • KT

    “And he admitted the group’s goal was to overthrow the elected government and replace it with one they believe was more “constitutional.”

    And the hypocrisy found in that statement caused the whole universe to explode…

  • As much as Right Wing Fascists are worried about “Sharia Law”, there really far right nut jobs seemed to practicing their warped version of Sharia Law. It seems the only charge in these Sovereign Citizen Kangaroo Courts is treason..

  • Vanilla ISIS — treat them with extreme prejudice

  • Ginger Snap

    They are starting to understand what it’s like to be made fun of every day I hope they are made fun if the rest of their lives like we/us/I have been all our lives. A bunch of mad, bigoted, cry babies who think they are men because they carry guns and eat Miracle Whip.

    • LonelyLiberal

      Hey, I eat Miracle Whip and my “gun” is enormous. The difference being that I never impose my gun on anybody who hasn’t expressed explicit interest.

      • William

        Pics or it isn’t true!

      • Silver Badger

        William is right. If you don’t want to place pics on JMG, post a link! 🙂

      • kevin vincent

        How big we talking? *raised eyebrow*

    • DonnaLee

      I kind of want the name Bundy to crop up in the urban dictionary as synonymous with making bad life choices.

      • Ginger Snap

        And Miracle Whip.

  • DirtyPierre

    self appointed government, kangaroo courts…where is the involvement of all the people in the United States? Screw you, self aggrandizing egoists, face it, this is the way you are asserting yourself with this alpha male bullshit posing. Everyone is laughing at you for good reason which you fail to see because of your delusions of grandeur. No one respects you for the lawlessness you are promoting by exploiting the “right to bear arms” to force the rest of us into submission. When you fight the elected government, you are disrespecting the American public. So take your little bitch hurt feelings, cram that tail between your legs and disappear. History will not be kind to you, hell its not even kind to you now. Give up, go away and go back to your piddly ass pathetic existence and do something that actually matters and helps others. Selfish pricks. You deserve all the ridicule on social media for inventing a cause that even the creators have abandoned and refusing to see the truth. Just a bunch of childish wannabe men.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Okay, threatening armed overthrow of the gubmint.

    Still not enough, eh?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Being white rocks.

  • Ninja0980

    My viewpoint on this hasn’t changed.

  • Dagoril

    Man these guys just get more and more whackadoodle every day.

    • PeterC

      And that is why no one is pushing them, yet. No rush as spring growing and grazing season is quite a ways off.

  • TheSpinMonkey

    I am sure they spend their spare time reading through the constitution.

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    This to me is the tipping point. Time to shut them down.

  • geoffalnutt

    Just another incarnation of The He-Man Women Haters Club…but more immature.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Little boys playing good guy / bad guy scenes are about to find out that their little game is no longer cute.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    “Yeah, you won’t be laughing so hard when our judge indicts the Internet.”

  • ChrisMorley

    ‘Oregon militia could face more than 10 years in prison, legal experts say’

    “Because the militia are armed and occupying a number of government buildings in a protected wildlife sanctuary, federal prosecutors would have jurisdiction to bring charges under multiple laws.
    For starters, one federal statute regarding public property holds that if a person “knowingly converts to his use” property of the federal government, that person could face a fine and a prison sentence of up to 10 years if the value of the
    property is greater than $1,000.
    Another federal law specifically governing wildlife refuges says that willful property
    destruction at protected sanctuaries could yield a six-month prison sentence. A separate statute says that if someone “willfully and maliciously” destroys property on certain federal lands, then he or she could face a fine of up to $250,000 and five years in prison.”

    http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2016/jan/14/armed-oregon-militia-federal-law-legal-experts-prosecution-prison-fines

    • Yeah…if someone ever gets around to actually arresting and charging them.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Expect the Kentucky playbook: Create delays in court, and have President Carson strike all those laws with his magic dildo 01/23/17.

  • Treason charges — which are punishable by death if convicted — for making fun of the Bundy Cosplay Insurrectionists. Now I’ve heard everything.

    At least we know what kind of Amurka they’d impose on the rest of us if they were ever actually in charge of anything.

    Federal and local authorities? This isn’t funny any more. They’re flirting with terroristic threats now, along with their own actual declarations of intent to have a violent revolution against our elected government. It’s long past time to have made some arrests.

  • kaydenpat

    So overthrowing the elected government is patriotic now? These are terrorists.

  • anne marie in philly

    nutjob domestic terrorists!

    • Oh’behr

      Sarah Palin would be so proud as to what she help create. Since 2008. Stirring up trouble.

      • wayne

        Why isn’t Palin screaming about how the Oregon terrorists are shaming the US military.

  • leo77

    “…he admitted the group’s goal was to overthrow the elected government and replace it with one they believe was more “constitutional.”

    Well there’s quite a bit of cognitive dissonance at work with these people. Laugh or cry? This is what happens when people live inside echo chambers.

    • William

      Mrs. Johnson, my eight grade civics teacher, would be very disappointed in these boys.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Eighth graders are very disappointed, as well.

  • NancyP

    They just touch law enforcement – their a** is grass. And just threatening a judge will get them a jail term.

  • Baby Dave

    Kidnapping and falsely detaining law enforcement officers sounds like a great way to incite a massacre. Which is what Bundy and his gang have wanted all along. They want Ruby Ridge. They want to become martyrs for the extreme Right.

    The sick thing of it is, Randy Weaver never wanted the circumstances that catapulted him to fame to occur. He certainly didn’t desire the slaughter of his pregnant wife and 11 year old son, nor the bizarre mocking harassment which ATF agents perpetrated upon his daughter which included taunting his preadolescent daughter with audio of the death screams of her mother. Sure, the man had some fucked up associations and picked a fight he never could have won, but that’s over the top.

    What’s weird is, this group wants to be the Weavers. The Weavers didn’t want to be the Weavers, but these assholes do. Its imperative that we do not give them their martyrdom.

    President Obama has managed to succeed in every respect where Bill Clinton failed. He passed healthcare reform, undid the damage caused by DADT and DOMA, killed Bin Laden and corrected some of the distortions left in the market by Clinton’s neo-liberal economic agenda. If he finds a way to solve the problem of Ammon Bundy without killing him or any of his men, and instead brings them to a fair trial and conviction according tot he rule of law, he will have proven the American people made the correct choice when we elected him in 2008 and not Hillary Clinton.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Its imperative that we do not give them their martyrdom.

      They’re dangerous and stupid animals. I’ll sleep at night.

      • Baby Dave

        And their deaths will be used as justification for the paranoid fantasies found in propaganda such as the Turner Diaries.

        • Mike in NC

          As nutz as these people are, waiting them out is the best policy. Suppose Obama sends in federal troops and there is a shootout with many fatalities; he’s just handed the election to the republicans. I know that’s cynical, but that’s how it is.

          • Baby Dave

            Yes. And beyond that, it will invite copycats. Tim McVeigh was inspired by David Koresh. Groups such as Aryan Nations frequently use Ruby Ridge as a recruitment poster.

        • Lumpy Gaga

          Freedom isn’t free.

          • Baby Dave

            What a lovely bumper sticker slogan. Like all bumper stickers, its completely avoid of any real point or meaning.

  • Orly

    That’s nice, but I think play-time is over kids. Time to seal the place off, cut all supplies and wait for them to surrender to the authorities as they start getting cold and hungry.

    • Gianni

      I so agree. They should not be allowed to wander off that property to shop, shit, or shave. When they get hungry enough, they’ll either start shooting or surrendering.

  • Gianni

    ‘Whoever knowingly or willfully advocates, abets, advises, or teaches
    the
    duty, necessity, desirability, or propriety of overthrowing or
    destroying the government of the United States or the government of any
    State, Territory, District or Possession thereof, or the government of
    any political subdivision therein, by force or violence, or by the
    assassination of any officer of any such government………….’
    This is just one small part of the Sedition Act of the USA. Clearly,
    these creeps have legally stepped in it. One can only hope that the full
    force of law is brought to bear on them.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    LOL on their website ( c4cf.com ) under the ABOUT tab :

    Our Mission Statement :

    To Defend and Restore the Constitution

    Vision :

    Coming soon…

    ha ha ha ha I guess there will be a warrant out for me now that I have made fun of them.

    • vorpal

      Quick… hide under my blue tarp. I promise you’ll be… ummm… “safe” there.

      • Tor

        Now, where did you put that bag of dildos again?

      • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

        Is this what you refer to as your blue tarp?

    • People4Humanity

      This will look great on your resumé: Arrested, tried in Kangaroo Court, and convicted of snarkiness. Court will reconvene in one month and pronounce sentence.

  • That’s called kidnapping, asshole.

  • CottonBlimp

    Wait a minute, so they’re not just protesting their specific grievances with the government, they’re trying to start a new nation through terrorism?

    Like, you know, ISIS?

    • Oh’behr

      Hmm, in the end, the only flag which matters.

  • mambocat

    I’ll send them snacks. SKITTLES. So the everybody knows they are fair game to shoot at.

    • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

      I would vote for Ex Lax chocolates.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Taste the rainbow.

      • Oh’behr

        We could send them our unneeded medications. Pretty pills.

        Rainbow colors.

        I’m seeing a Double rainbow and it’s not even raining outside and I’m inside !
        🙂

    • Phil

      A few months on their current diet and they’ll develop scurvy!

  • trouble94114

    Can we please just send a handful of 79 year old bird watchers in there and watch the squatters try and intimidate them. I believe the last time that happened it was the squatting militia man that wound up flat on his ass.

    Yes, I know the FBI politely asked the bird watchers not to knock down the militia folks, but damn it’s got to be more fun to watch that than it is to read about… and it was pretty damn funny to read about.

  • JaniceInToronto

    OK, this is just stupid. End it. Mercifully if possible, but end it now.

  • juanjo54

    This is a common tactic of the “sovereign citizen” types. They claim they have the right to form their own courts and hold their own hearings and then arrest people but also claim no one can do that to them.

  • Oh’behr

    Hmm, what are they going to write their notices of intent on? Handcrafted homemade or locally handmade parchment and locally sourced inks. Nah, it’ll come from Walmart and be made in China.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “write?”

      — Yall Qaeda elders

      • Oh’behr

        Oh duh me. I forgot those boys didn’t get writin’ and spellin’.

        All that there fancy city refined edumatcated thingie stuff.

  • Taleisin

    ..

  • JustSayin’

    Time for thge cavalry to show up! Bundy is itching for a fight, lets give him one!

  • JCF
  • Phil

    The right of free speech gives them the right to ridicule you. Your bluster and pomposity only makes it easier for your many detractors.

    Your lack of legal powers of arrest prevents you from detaining them. Any courts you assemble are not legal. You would be arrested for unlawful restraint and kidnapping. At that point, the gloves come off as far as the government is concerned. Just be quiet and enjoy your newly acquired dildo collection, stash of highly unheathy food, and tampons.

  • BudClark

    Oh, DADDY! Can I come over and play with your TOYS!!??

  • LarryChemEngr

    and how do these losers intend to apprehend the government officials?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Dildoes. Hah, not feeling so smug NOW, are ya, Internet?

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Man, these YeeHawdists are too funny. Bags of Dicks, Dildos and French Vanilla Creamers……hot nights on Dumbfuck Mountain.

    • Oh’behr

      I love YeeHawdists. Thank you. Also Dumbfuck Mountain. Thank you again.

    • Old Top Kick

      Then there’s this

  • Jonathan

    Just drone these stupid Mormon motherfuckers and be done with it.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    On another note: As sent to me on my FB page today

    • Oh’behr

      Oh shoot, someone did show up on a real horse and not just driving their SUV or quad cab to their revolution on cheap Saudi gas.

      Though we don’t know if the horse was real do we? It’s just a pic. I could have been staged. Or photoshopped into the pic. (sorry, I’m playing the right wing paranoia game). this last bit, part snark, snark over and out.

  • joeintexas

    You can’t fix stupid or cra cra

  • Dan Robinson

    Oh yes, DO kidnap a government official. That’ll show ’em!

  • Old Top Kick

    They’ll get it right next time.

  • doninkansas

    The more I read about what these idiots say and do I can’t help but think of Animal Farm. Their “Commitee of Safety” has such a familiar ring to it.

    • J Ascher

      What I remember from that book is something about Two Legs and Four Legs being equal, but Four Legs being more equal.

  • calvet

    Those guys should run for President. They sound as coherent as the GOP debate last night.

  • Satan

    Am I the only one to recognize the simple way to end this standoff is with a thorough application of napalm?

  • Dorothy Dill

    “Arresting” officials…..wouldn’t that be KIDNAPPING! !!!!!!

  • Richard

    Bundy’s old man owes the government millions so they’ll just add the 70K a day to the tab that’s not going to get paid ? Why are the authorities not doing anything and looking like wusses in this whole thing.

  • Michael Storms

    REMIX!!!! Dare you not to laugh!!! #YallQaeda #WalMartyrs #Snackhawkdown #al-Shabubba #VannilaISIS #YeeHawd #YeeHawdist
    #TrailerDaesh #YokelHaram #Talibubba #FailQueda #Cowliphate #MujaHickdeen #Talibanjo #Daeshbags
    #Snacktivist #Snacktivists #Snacktivism #Snacklessinoregon #Snacklesswonders #vivalasnacks
    #Cospatriot #BrokeBackTerorist #ButtBundy #Snackapalooza #Potatriots #YeeHawcupation
    https://youtu.be/HNxqetoZKoY

  • Margaret Peggy Gibson

    If mocking these guys is a sin/crime I’m going to death row and hell.

  • Glorrierose2

    Arrest for treason for mocking them….

    So, just exactly how would that work? Who is going to do the arrests? Under what authority? And what law is being broken? Isn’t the whole point of this rebellion to “hate government”? How do you arrest without government? How do you hold trials? And how can you arrest for treason when the reason for the treason is your own treason?