Scamvangelists: Jesus Gave Us A Private Jets So We Don’t Have To Fly With Demons [VIDEO]

Megachurch scamvangelists Kenneth Copeland and Jesse Duplantis yesterday revealed that Jesus gave them multimillion dollar private jets so they don’t have to interact with the “dope-filled world” and fly around with a bunch of unsaved “demons.” Seriously. Watch below.

  • fuzzybits

    I just won’t today. Happy New Year people.

  • pickypecker
    • Rebecca Gardner

      Some of my other favorites.

      • pickypecker

        LOL. Love those too! Have a safe and happy 2016, RG!!

    • David Walker

      Whoa! I haven’t seen this one before. I’m lovin’ it.

  • skeptical_inquirer

    I dream of the day when nobody like them can get contributions anymore. Or at least not to the point they can get a jet.

    • bambinoitaliano

      It’s the reason they ask those suckers be fruitful and multiply.

  • Steven B

    That’s right. Because Jesus was all about avoiding people in need.

    • BobSF_94117

      I don’t know… He did ride into town on a private donkey. (allegedly)

      • That_Looks_Delicious

        It was a rental.

        • Gustav2

          …and someone was leading the donkey so that is like a chauffeur, right?

          • Paige Turner

            Pilot
            Or is that Pilate. I get mixed up

          • Rebecca Gardner

            Grrr. Beat me to it. 🙂

          • Paige Turner

            You get an up vote and New year best wishes instead

          • Rebecca Gardner

            Happy New Year to you too!!!

            Happy New Year to all my JMG friends. I love you all. You help me laugh all day long at news that mostly makes me cry.

          • Paige Turner

            Put down the Trump. Move away from the Trump slowly and carefully

          • TuuxKabin

            Pilates, it’s an exercise.

          • Paige Turner

            If its like yoga then dolts like Shoebat think its demonic so Im in.

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      • DaddyRay

        I thought it was a dinosaur

        • perversatile

          -The Pilates of the Caribbean

      • Steverino

        Oh, that Jesus. Always sitting on his ass.
        : )

        • Six Pins Delores

          LOL! Happy New Year Steverino

      • 2karmanot

        It was a Uber Burro

      • Paula

        So, he sat on his ass the whole time?

    • Cattleya1

      Wouldn’t it be a public service (in their world) to just cast those demons out? That is what Jesus did. I bet they don’t let any of the poor, disaffected faithful ride in their demon-free jet.

      • Joseph Miceli

        I would LOVE to see one of these asshats arrested for causing a disturbance because they attempted an exorcism mid-flight.

  • MattM

    To be fair to these hucksters, a fool and his/her money are soon parted. If someone is dumb enough to fall for this obvious fraud, they deserve to lose the money. It’s the only way they’ll learn.

    • NedFlaherty

      There is no such thing as an “only way they’ll learn.”
      Millions of gullible, uneducated slobs pour their money into these scam artists month. But there’s no record that even one of those victims ever realized that they’d been had, swore off all future donations, and went public with their sob story. No matter much they’re fleeced, they still never learn.
      The we ever get to any such learning is when a specific scamvangelist gets convicted for specific crime(s). But even then, the donors just shift their gullibility to another preacher.

      • Stev84

        They also prey on old people who often don’t fully understand what they are doing.

        • Steve Teeter

          My mother is 85, sharp as a tack, and very aware of her finances. I’m glad of this, as I’d hate to have to have her declared legally incompetent after giving tons of money to these creeps.

          • perversatile

            My mother is 75 pissed away me and my lil’ brothers inheritance playing the 5$ slot machines.
            When she told us this, she laughed, so it’s probably true.

      • motordog

        The closest I can think of anyone publicly recanting their affiliation to a church and denouncing them is Scientology. There have been several well-known cases, most recently Leah Remini. My theory is that xtians who find themselves in that position just quietly slink away with their tails between their legs.

    • CottonBlimp

      The ones I feel bad for are the people with a real excuse to be this gullible – the mentally ill, the senile, the people that are just so damn desperate that there’s fuck all else they can do to fix their situation. These vultures prey on people like that and it’s disgusting.

  • BobSF_94117

    I’d rather fly with Stan.

  • thevofl

    As Betty Bowers, America’s Best Christian, would say: “Praised Be!”

  • bkmn

    So in GOP deflection world that means they are essentially drug runners. And they consider the ma and pa kettles they get to fork over their money are “demons”.

  • Michael Smith

    Well Jesus did ride on a private donkey.

    “dope-filled world”

    What flights have you been taking where people smoke pot on the plane?.

  • Gustav2

    Isn’t their Great Commission to interact with the “dope-filled world” and fly around with a bunch of unsaved “demons?”

    • Steve Teeter

      They know the plane would be met by federal marshals, after the pilot radioed ahead about a crazy person disrupting the flight.

  • Six Pins Delores

    “https://youtu.be/DNSUOFgj97M”Were in show/soul business here”

    LOL

  • Hue-Man

    But no jets for Muslims and atheists!

    “Americans place a higher priority on preserving the religious freedom of
    Christians than for other faith groups, ranking Muslims as the least
    deserving of the protections, according to a new survey.”

    “People who identified with no religion were ranked about even with Muslims in needing support to live out their beliefs.”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2015/12/30/ap-norc-poll-us-christians-more-than-muslims-need-religious-liberty-protections_n_8894310.html

    • Gustav2

      That was some funny shit. Christians are so abused by the public in the USA!

      • Hue-Man

        It would be funny if it were from The Onion.

        I assume that they are being fed this persecution line every Sunday from their church leaders. The fear and loathing feedback loop must be working overtime, getting the sheeple ready for November elections. We outsiders only see the gay-hating part of it from the political Talibangelicals.

        How can you have a functioning nation when a large part of it believes “Religious Freedom for me but not for thee” and extends the same line to the Constitution and all laws they disagree with?

        • Gustav2

          The media plays along with the narrative and needs to stop.

        • Roy Rouell

          Actually the majority of the smaller church leaders I know or have met don’t buy that bullshit. While some of them do feel as though they are under attack, they have said it is not by society but rather by the religious right (really religious reich) itself. One has even agreed that the only war on Christianity that is being waged is being waged by people like Copeland and Duplantis.

  • SoCalVet

    Their followers and people that donate to them are gullible.

    • Chucktech

      Gullible really doesn’t do them justice. Honestly, after seeing that on TV about how “you can’t stand up in an airliner” and talk to gawd, how could you not see through this outrageous and offensive scam??

      • William

        You can stand up on an airliner, as long as it isn’t a United plane.

  • motordog

    Sigh…as infuriating as these shitbags are, part of me feels that the idiots who send them money deserve to be cheated. I mean, start THINKING for yourselves, you fucking morons! Even if you wish to cling to your ‘faith’, there’s nothing in your book that says you have to give your hard earned money to the wealthy! I do believe it says something about helping the LESS fortunate, and maybe something about giving to the church…so if you MUST, pick a local church that actually makes an effort to help out the needy of their own community. Yeah, it’ll take a bit more work than sitting on your fat, God-given ass and watching ol’ Brother Ken and Brother Jesse on the teevee…but there you go.

    • bambinoitaliano

      It’s the reason why they preach against science and evolution and education. They preach against government that educate the people especially women. There’s only one book they ought to read and the lips of the evangelists. It’s a revolution and civil war no one talks about.

    • Octoberfurst

      I love how these con artists justify their uber-rich lifestyle. I also find it very amusing how these idiots act like actually have one on one conversations with God. “The Lord started talking to me the other day and he said ‘How do you like your plane?’ and I said “I like it a lot Lord. Why do you ask?'” You would think that anyone with the brains of a gnat would see this bullshit for what it is. But yet millions of gullible morons send money to these grifters. I have no sympathy for them.

      • Chucktech

        “Well, gawd, now the You asked, the plane could’ve been a little bigger. And the leather on these seats is pretty cheap and low quality. And the stu could have bigger tits. I like bigger tits, but You already know that…”

        • Octoberfurst

          🙂

  • Galvestonian

    He also gave you a hell of a lot of extremely stupid people with money so you could do the big hustle.

  • bambinoitaliano

    This Jesus sure know how to pick them. No wonder I can’t be friend with him.

    • Stev84

      40 million is what Osteen makes in a year (at least):
      http://www.examiner.com/article/joel-osteen-s-church-theft-opens-can-of-worms-jaws-drop-as-folks-do-the-math

      A while ago he had 600k stolen from him. And that was what he physically scammed on a single weekend.

    • bkmn

      Why would someone be a criminal when being a Xtain grifter is legal and tax exempt?

      • TampaDink

        Scruples?

        • Schlukitz

          A weighted response if ever I heard one. 😉

          • TampaDink

            Happy New Year, Schlukitz!

          • Schlukitz

            And a Happy New Year to you and your partner. 🙂

          • TampaDink

            Thank you. ☺♥☺♥☺

        • perversatile

          Chasity Pariah?

      • Roy Rouell

        There is honor amongst thieves while there is little to no honor coming from the man/woman in the televangelists’ the pulpit?

    • motordog

      Mark 10:25 “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God”

      …how often do you think THIS verse comes up in their sermons?

      • Hal Watts

        They don’t take that literally. Or the parts about serving the poor. However, they are adamant about enforcing the verses that seem to condemn gay people——

      • too often and it works as it humbles the crowds and empties their pockets and minds

      • perversatile
        • Joseph Miceli

          The 80’s did have some fabulous clothes for women. They were kind to the drag queens, too. All a girl had to do was take out the shoulder pads! 🙂

          • Take out the shoulder pads? Are you high on something?

          • Joseph Miceli

            I stand corrected! Drag Queens in the 80’s did look like Drew Breeze.

          • perversatile

            One of the more ridiculous things that I’ve held on to
            (besides my unyielding sense of propriety), is a sky blue leather Claude Montana trench coat with shoulders like a fireplace mantle that I was wearing at the Cannes Film Festival when Ally Sheedy tried to pick a fight with me

          • Joseph Miceli

            THAT is a story!!!! LOL, I’d keep it too!

      • Roy Rouell

        This verse comes up fairly regularly but is one of the famous cherry picked verses as in they cherry pick a meaning out that is total bs. They translate that the Eye of the Needle is a special gate that traders could use to enter the city after the main gate was closed and that camels had to crawl in on their knees.
        To make this story true, the Russian Church went so far as to build a gate inside their church building in Jerusalem’s old city and name it the Eye of the Needle but this happened around the 16th century.

    • William

      Creflo Dollar raised 65 million for a new Gulfstream.

      • those parishioners are fools…

        • Six Pins Delores

          May the engineers of their machines be confused and mechanics be fully fulled.

        • Roy Rouell

          Oddly enough this also comes straight from the Bible. Luke 21:8 And He said, “See to it that you are not misled; for many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am He,’ and, ‘The time is near.’ Do not go after them.

    • Oh’behr

      Kenneth Copeland, I didn’t know he is a billionaire. What a mega-douche grifter. I seriously hope there is a hell for him.

  • Larry in Oklahoma

    Everything that their Bible teaches goes against what they just said. Jesus sure as hell would not have avoided crowds, whom these shysters consider to be inferior to them. Did Jesus avoid people that had diseases? Here they are, avoiding the crowds, the dopers, the whatever and there was that missed opportunity to witness for the Lord. (See, I know the jargon.) GAWD did not give them a private jet or airplane….what they did was to divert that money into an account that allowed them to have these planes. They stole it, in other words. But, then, the good people want to be sheeples and not raise any objection to what is happening. Fools, all of them are.

  • Cackalaquiano

    Well, to be fair, last time my husband flew he got so violently motion sick that he really was casting out some wicked demons for the duration of the flight.

  • Ninja0980

    People will still continue to give them money even after crap like this comes out.
    I’m sure they must be laughing their asses off at the fact people are this stupid.

  • Paige Turner

    When you speak to God its called prayer
    When God speaks to you its called a mental health emergency

    • Todd20036

      It could also be called “shrooming”

      • Paige Turner

        I love it when these dolts speak in tongues. Religious theatre at its best.

        • perversatile

          It even has a name ‘glossolalia’ -so it must be real.

          • Paige Turner

            Well Im convinced.

          • Hryflex

            Those who do it REALLY hate when you call it “glossolalia”. I discovered this when a co-worker was eager to tell me about the Sunday evening service at his Pentecostal church. When he got to the part about “speaking in tongues” I innocently mentioned glossolalia. His face got purple; he screamed “Don’t call it that!”, and ran out to his car where he sat banging his head against the steering wheel for a good half hour.

            He didn’t last long here, but he taught me how to annoy a Pentecostal.

          • perversatile

            Thanks for the tip! If I ever have a daughter,
            I’d wanna name her Glossolalia or Amnesia.

        • RoFaWh

          Aha! A business opportunity! Manufacture communion wafers for the pentacostals, but flavor them with ‘shrooms. The selling point would be “Serve this at Communion, and you will be thrilled at how the Divine Spirit then possesses so many.”

          • Paige Turner

            Your business idea may not be original. I remember reading somewhere that some of the bible stories are so insane that they writers of them may have been high and not understood what has happening to them.

          • agcons

            I heard this years ago about Revelations, and I had no trouble believing it.

          • Paige Turner

            Its the only thing that can explain that shit.

          • Joseph Miceli

            St. John the Divine in Revelations?

          • Paige Turner

            Thats like an acid trip

          • Joseph Miceli

            I always did love reading Revelations as a kid. So gory and obtuse, like an H.P. Lovecraft book!

    • Chucktech

      Pilot: Something I can do for you, reverend?

      Scamming God-Hustler: Nope, just tawkin’ tuh Gawd.

      Pilot: Ooh… (mumble, mumble, talkin’ tuh god, jesus… Having another episode…)

      • Paige Turner

        Thats what I was thinking. Thats if the story is even true. I doubt a pilot world talk to these two grifters.

        • Chucktech

          Probably not on an commercial airliner… But if it’s his “gawd given” private plane, sure he would.

      • perversatile
  • Michael Senesac

    Call the IRS.

  • Rob Spangler

    Oh my!!! Preachers justifying the need for private jets….so the can talk to the Lord entourage. If they weren’t a preacher it’s called severe mental illness needing drugs and hospitalization. The Bible Belt people who send these thieves money are truly fools!!!

  • Jack_Carter_USA

    If their magical sky friend wanted them to fly without having to deal with us common proles, He would have given them wings.

  • That_Looks_Delicious

    Errrmahgerd! Like… so.. it turns out that there’s an entire website devoted to demonic activity on airplanes. It has articles with titles like “New Trend? Giving Birth At 30,00ft! Devil Baby Born In The Habitat Of Demons!” and “Gay Asian Nazi Flight Attendant Kicks White Lady Off Plane – Because He Can!” I can’t tell if it’s supposed to be serious or a spoof.

    http://stthomasaquinasversusnasa.blogspot.com/

    The things you learn reading JMG with Google!

    • Ben in Oakland

      I looked at the website. It appears to be real, leaving me feeling like I just had a long flight to India with Sarah palin as my seatmate.

      • Cuberly

        OMFG that would be awesome. Totally fuck with her using every RWNJ meme out there.

    • I’m sitting here in shock that anyone would believe those “articles”.

  • DaddyRay

    I am sort of glad I don’t need to sit next to Jebus Freaks like that when I fly

    • Reality.Bites

      If you fly coach it would be no risk anyway.

    • A few months back I was sitting near a mother and daughter who were singing hymns for quite a while before the stewards asked them to stop. It was hideous to be trapped in that seat and have to listen to them caterwaul about god this and jeebus that. If only I had a few gift cards to reward the stewards for putting an end to our misery.

    • Oh’behr

      They’re out there. At the aircraft entrance once in Phoenix, early entry, a family who touched the aircraft, prayed and blessed the plane before getting in to it. I’d rather trust the pilots, ground crew, staff behind the scenes, meteorology department, Boeing engineering, etc.

  • Ben in Oakland

    The dope filled world.

    I understand what their concerns are. It is precisely the dopes that fill the world that give these people their riches. Who’d want to hang around with someone that dense?

  • 5moreminutes*imtired

    Kinda like what Jesus said, but the exact opposite…

  • Hue-Man
  • Rebecca Gardner

    Religion is a mental disease. Together we can find a cure. These two
    douche bags, however, are grifters that are scamming people out of their
    money. All I can say to these two scamvangelists is Matthew 19:24.

  • Tallulah

    A long tube with a bunch of demons. Hmmm.

  • Tallulah

    I would love to smack the makeup off of both of them, Tammy Faye didn’t depend on that much foundation!

  • Sporkfighter

    Birds gonna fly,
    Fish gonna swim,
    Grifters gonna grift,
    Sheep gonna get fleeced.

    • JCF

      “Can’t help love dat [god] o’ mine!”

  • Tom (Winnipeg)

    Speaking of evil demons. OMG! The full time that I was able to watch, I couldn’t avoid thinking of demons, especially the guy on the left. What evil creeps they are! If they only knew it, they would die from the shock.

  • Cuberly

    Hmm, maybe instead of private jets they just need a holy ghost enema to rev their spirit up.

    https://youtu.be/dGMQdbTeBBQ?t=134

    Seriously I can’t even spare a modicum of outrage for these assholes. They sold their morality down the river ages ago, grifting as they do. And idjits hand them money hand over fist.

    • pickypecker
    • Six Pins Delores

      “you know what you need, you need a holy ghost enema right up your rear end”

      HAAAA LOL. May her followers find salvation. 🙂

      • Cuberly

        I’ve had dates like that, the holy ghost enema ass revving. It’s not to be sniffed at. lol…

        • Six Pins Delores

          Sorry babe. Surely not. We have 2016 to look forward to. Happy New Year

          • Cuberly

            🙂 Happy New Year SPD 🙂

      • perversatile

        They better be mighty careful, or Gawd will stomp on
        the douche bag of the sinner and blow their brains out

    • William

      Give them a cayenne enema, just to be thorough.

      • Cuberly

        From the way she’s running around it sorta looks like Ms. Hinn had one.

        • I used some Gold Bond powder on my nutsack last night. Good Lord, I did myself a mischief!!!

          • Cuberly

            Yikes, anything mentholated down there, you’re right. That’s a mischief. Though I’m sure you’re language was even more colorful after said application.

            BTW-Happy New Year Stogie Bear! 😉

          • Thank you! Right the fuck back at ya!!!

          • Sore legs + Icy Hot + urgent need to pee = hours of agony

  • Blake J Butler

    I bet they are all counting on Ted Cruz, to be their voice for the evangelical community as “president”, so they can proudly claim that they elected America’s first evangelical president.

    However though, America already voted for an evangelical candidate, that won the presidency, except however though republicans do not recognize him because he didn’t fit their mold of what they believed being a christian was suppose to be about, that was Jimmy Carter. And Jimmy, as if i should even go into detail about all the good he’s done to people over the years, is more of a christian than any of the GOP candidates, or these scamvangelists, could dream to be.

    Especially include the crypt keeper at the 700 club.

    • Six Pins Delores

      Delusional yes, yet seemingly a very good harted man

    • Joseph Miceli

      Jimmy Carter is more a Saint than that bitch Mother Theresa.

      You forgot one other “Evangelical” president. George W Bush. “W” was elected…Hah!!! …wait a minute… appointed!…. to be THE religious right President with overwhelming Evangelical support. Of course, he fucked Evangelicals in the ass in his first term and then did it again in his second. The grifters got a taste of their own medicine. Unfortunately, the rest of America got “schlonged” too.

  • 2amor

    One could throw-up watching this crap….

  • William

    Scam artists love all their tax free property.

  • Captain Jack

    Thanks joe, that headline made me lol..happy new year early!

  • Jesus popping bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
    When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard
    Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like Three 6
    Now I’m feeling so fly like a G6
    Like a G6, Like a G6
    Now I’m feeling so fly like a G6
    Like a G6, Like a G6
    Now I’m feeling so fly like a G6

  • Captain Jack

    I wish he would give me Tardis to hell with the jet..

  • Mark

    Afraid they’re going to get cooties?

    • Friday

      I’m kind of wondering if ‘cooties’ aren’t just institutionalized monotheism practice. 🙂

  • Hal Watts

    “A tube full of demons…” We’ve all flown with rude and inconsiderate fellow-fliers. Finally, this video explains it all…..

    • Friday

      Apparently the ‘demons’ aren’t as well-paid as Christianists let on. 🙂 (Of course the fact is these preachers are probably talking about their followers themselves is… Well, maybe they’re paying good money to ignore *that* as well as airline service. 🙂 )

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    Generally I feel sorry for the victims of con artists. But, I’ll make an exception for the absolute idiots who send these con men their hard earned dollars.

    • Michael Rush

      Those are called ENABLERS

      • Wynter Marie Starr

        Some of them, sure. The rest are just stupid.

    • Gianni

      Isn’t that the truth? Listening to this is difficult. Jesus gave them private jets? What, they woke up one day and, lo and behold, a modern miracle – there were jets for them – no money, no purchase, no problem. If Jesus provided the jets, it was through the perfectly legal method of picking the pockets of fools. I’d love to know how many of the believers really and truly believe this dumbness.

      • Wynter Marie Starr

        I don’t like con artists and these two bumpkins certainly fit that description. I’m fairly sure they’d be great entertainment among educated people. Sort of like Hee Haw with less good looking people.

    • skeptical_inquirer

      I feel sorry for the rest of us because their contributions are tax free thereby taking needed money from things that are desperately needed. Think of all the money stolen by churches, temples, etc. in terms of not having to pay property tax, etc.

      • Wynter Marie Starr

        I was thinking about the individuals that fall prey to con artists, SI.

        And, of course, you’re right. These people literally have their hands in our pockets and don’t do anything for anyone but themselves.

  • Michael Rush
    • Six Pins Delores

      Minion fo geeezuss. LOL

  • 2karmanot

    If they were real disciples following in the Lawd’s path, they should volunteer for crucifixion

  • SorryNotSorry

    This is so surreal that I sort of adore it.

  • teeveedub

    May their hell consist of an eternal flight on Spirit Airlines.

  • Demons: It takes one to know one.

  • Well, at least we all know the name of their chosen deity: Mammon.

    • Friday

      Well, whoever that was, if anyone, they were probably lying about some pretty nice people there, too, at this rate. 🙂

      • Roy Rouell

        Mammon is the personification of greed, a demon whose focus was money and greed, one of the seven princes of hell, or the god of greed and wealth depending on the era and folklore.

        • Friday

          Well, that’s what *they* say. But on many matters they just can’t seem to tell the truth even from way back so who knows what they were projecting onto whom. That was my point.

  • Bill T.

    They could save on not buying jet fuel if they had purchased hot-air balloons instead.

    • William

      Stick a hose up his ass and inflate a Zeppelin.

  • Chris Sutherland

    Disgusting and deluded. I’d expect no less. Of course Copeland throws in a little reference to a DVD that they’re trying to sell. Gotta make some more money to buy their next jets.

  • amati1684

    Incredible! These boys are an eternity away from the model of Jesus of Nazareth, but it makes perfect sense given the high hopes their followers have for a Heaven with streets of gold, gates of pearl and walls of jasper (which has always sounded to me like a vision from Liberace). My guess is that John the Divine — well, need I say more?– most likely ate some bad mushrooms on the Isle of Patmos. Like the gold and velvet sets the purple-wigged Jan Crouch picked out for TBN, theirs is the sort of bad taste only money can buy.

  • sherman

    They know they’re lying. We know they’re lying. They know we know they’re lying. We know they know we know they’re lying.

    It’s a very deceitful relatioship.

  • Natty Enquirer

    Flocks are for fleecing.

  • safari2bongaloo

    These two are from somewhere in the uncanny valley. They just look… off…

  • Capritaur

    Where are these demons he speaks of? I heard sex with them is really hot, especially after some dope.

    • Friday

      Yeah, they also think people go through what trans people do just to ….I dunno, something about bathrooms.

    • Helen Damnation ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      Finally. Someone who speaks the truth, goddamnit!

      • Oh’behr

        Yes, but think of the children.

        I mean, eww.

        Lol.

  • April

    He should be grateful of all the dope out there. As in all the dopes who send him money.

  • Piercedchrlz

  • JCF

    And to think, Jesus had to *borrow a donkey* to travel to Jerusalem. Clearly, he was doing that Himselfity thing wrong…

  • God apparently stock the private jets with lots of make up as well.

    • Oh’behr

      No wonder we have global climate change with the concrete these two are wearing.

  • Duane Dimitrov

    Jesus BELIEVED in the complete tax exemption of “churches” such as these!

    BELIEVE it!

  • Acronym Jim

    I just finished watching Don Verdean, starring Sam Rockwell as a creationist “scientist” getting tangled in an ever-increasing web of lies. It was deliciously sublime.

    • William

      Sam Rockwell is delicious.

      • Acronym Jim

        Agreed.

      • perversatile

        and twisted -you know he’d be great sex

  • Is it just me, or do those two know what being “dope-filled” is all about?

  • Gosh, afraid that if they find out who you are, they’ll throw yer ass out the door at cruising altitude?

  • Tor

    I’ve done design work for churches, and every minister, priest and bishop I’ve met had the same goal: getting more donations and figuring who would be the best target.

  • 2patricius2

    “If you want to be perfect, sell all your possessions, give to the poor and come follow me.” I guess they haven’t read that little saying.

  • David L. Caster

    Grifting frauds. There is no way these people should be able to do all of this tax-free.

  • Ginger Snap

    So with his logic Jesus gave me a mouth, asshole and a cock so I can screw every man I meet. See I too can make up shit that makes no sense. Fucking liars gotta lie to justify their greed and hate.

  • Marc

    They are wrong. Jesus flew coach. It’s in the Bible: “Eat, for these complimentary peanut packs are my body… Drink, for these tiny bottles of Jack are my blood….” Don’t thank me, you gay heathens.

  • skeptical_inquirer

    https://youtu.be/Cx5ccYRtlQ4?t=22s I don’t see the difference between those men and the thing in the casket.

  • Mihangel apYrs

    only in the USA do such grifters get away with such much blatantly!

    As a friend I say, you need to sort out your society and bring it into the 21C

  • Ben in Oakland

    As H.L. Mencken said in his “treatise of the gods”,

    It’s very rare that you ever see a clergyman go hungry.

    Thanks, whoever it was that recommended it. It’s a great read.

  • Mark

    Damn….those sharp blades just ripped right out of my hands…Fucking FRAUDS!

  • Ogre Magi

    Why would demons fly on planes? Don’t they have bat wings?

  • Dolly Varden

    Why does the word “oleaginous” always come to mind with these people?

    • lymis

      Because “slime” is so last century.

      • Ben in Oakland

        Grifters are oleaginous. Criminals are slime. Understand the difference?

    • perversatile

      !!!

  • Friday

    So, basically they’re saying, “Give us private luxury jets cause we’d get kicked off commercial flights for screaming that everyone else around is demons.”

  • Marides48

    Bull SHIT!!!

  • anne marie in philly

    who wants to sit next to these h8ing fuckheads on a plane anyway?

  • Logic of Color

    3:32 “we’re in show business here” wow. Just…wow

  • Porkie

    Go on…..just pull my finger…go on!

  • Go on, keep fleecing the idiots of all their money. Keep up the good work until all your followers are dead or living in abject poverty. You spend it so fast that you’ll be among them when it happens. Maybe then the world will be a better place.

  • Joseph Miceli

    So these wizened little hate monkeys with their fake hair need their private jets because….their faith is so weak that it won’t survive their flying coach?… they get distracted from talking to God because other people NEED them?…really?
    According to their mythology, Jesus was tortured and died on the cross, but these assholes need a private jet to do God’s work?
    If there really were a God, he’d flick these two wastes of DNA into Hell like a used chicken bone.

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Quite frankly I’d prefer them on their private jets than sitting next to me on a commercial airliner

      • Joseph Miceli

        Point taken. Of course, we could just build giant sling shots for them…..

        • Oh’behr

          Great idea. Hmm, could be a modern take on … the old idea of, if they float (dunking) … if they land intact, then they’re good people?

  • I remember when these parasites merely coveted Cadillacs and tour busses.

  • TexasBoy

    Because Jesus never mixed with the unwashed masses…oh….wait..

  • Marty Pavelka

    Demons! That’s who kicks the back of my seat in coach. It’s all clear to me now.

    • Oh’behr

      Lol. That’s the truth.

  • dcurlee

    And people fall for this shit because if they didn’t they would be flying jets and living in multi million dollar homes

  • Skokieguy

    Honey, if Jesus gay ya’ll the private jets, why do you keep asking for $$$?

  • Alan

    What did Jesus charge for the sermon on the mount?

    • jomicur

      Bring your own butter for the loaves and tartar sauce for the fishes!

  • EqualityForAll

    I’m gonna stand up and start talking to myself. Will people send me money then?

    • Oh’behr

      Only if you said Jesus, er, Gawd is directly talking to or through you.

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    Oh for heaven’s sake, as Mother used to say.

  • Azima Khan

    He’s literally claiming God told him to buy a more luxurious plane to prove his faith

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