Affluenza Mom Now In US Custody

The mother of “affluenza” teen Ethan Couch is now in US custody. Her son remains in Mexico, where he is fighting extradition. Via Mashable:

Tonya Couch arrived at Los Angeles International Airport on a flight from Mexico in the custody of the U.S. Marshals Service and was taken in handcuffs through the terminal to an unmarked Dodge Charger early Thursday morning. She was wearing blue street clothes and looked away from cameras as she walked, flanked by two marshals.

It was unclear why she was brought to Los Angeles instead of Texas, where she and her son live and where he was on probation for the 2013 drunken-driving crash. U.S. Marshals Service spokesman Eugene Hwang said he could not reveal any details about her trip through California or say how long she might remain here, citing security concerns in transporting someone in custody.

The mother, whom Twitter thinks now looks like the comedian Carrot Top, faces up to ten years in prison. Like her son, the mother dyed her hair to avoid recognition.

  • Dramphooey

    Oh my god they’ve arrested Carrottop.

    • pickypecker
      • barrixines

        There has to be a starting pistol going off just out of shot, right?

        • Todd20036

          Carrot top got a little overzealous with the steroids.
          It’s sad because not too long ago, he was quite the hottie

          • skeptical_inquirer

            I saw him on TV years ago and he looked a lot more normal.

          • ZhyKitty

            I’d venture to say it would probably be hard for him to look less normal in that pic.

          • skeptical_inquirer

            Other than being horribly disfigured in an accident or having a congenital defect which require repeated operations, there really should be some legal limits to plastic surgery.

          • ZhyKitty

            I support the right for people to do what they want with their own bodies, but at the same time, perhaps some form of therapy should come in tandem with people who keep on going in for more and more and more tweeking…you know… before they end up looking like any number of celebrities like Carrot Top. lol

          • bkmn

            Steroids, plastic surgery, botox, Sharpies…

          • Mark Lewis

            Sharpies 🙂

      • Mark

        Now that’s just scary!

      • ZhyKitty

        This is an excellent example of why we should, if we can, accept growing old gracefully over excessive intervention to try to prevent it.
        IMO overzealous (and often just plain bad) plastic surgery is not an improved look vs natural age. lol

        • Gerry Fisher

          He looks like a crazed mannequin.

          • ZhyKitty

            Yes, he sure does.

      • Brian Moore

        Well, that face is going to pop up in my dreams at some point. And not the good dreams either.

    • Alpha 50327

      First thing I thought too. Not the 1st time, or the last, that Carrot Top has ad a perp walk.

      • Dramphooey

        I just reacted to the photo. If I had read to end of the article I’d have seen it’s already all over Twitter so everybody is thinking the same thing.

    • Fyva Prold

      She was going for Debbie Wasserman Schultz look, but didn’t get there.

    • Good Shot Green

      Or Rocky Dennis.

      • ZhyKitty

        Oh, burn. lol

    • vorpal

      That’s exactly the first thought that popped into my mind :-).

    • Marty Pavelka

      Ha! I saw that pic come up on my feed, and the first thought that crossed my mind, before reading the tagline was…”gee, looks like Carrottop is in trouble”. 🙂

    • Gerry Fisher

      Just punishment has been levied: they’ve turned her into Carrot Top!

  • Lakeview Bob

    I hope she gets prison. She is too stupid to be loose on the streets.

    • John P.

      It’s their parenting that is to blame. They screwed up this kid beyond belief… though some time in prison may be what the doctor ordered.

      • motordog

        We should also, perhaps, take a look at the grandparents…who, after all, raised their own children to be, in turn, horrible parents…eh, let’s just erase their whole family tree…

        Personally, while I agree that she’s an idiot, I’m not too invested in this blame the parents thing. Sure, they had a part to play, but unless this kid is legitimately impaired in the brain, he certainly knew that drinking and driving was dangerous and illegal. Of course, she fucked it up for herself by going on the lame with her li’l sweetums…

  • barrixines

    Please Mexico – think hard before returning that poor persecuted boy to the US with its cruel and unnatural punishments. If that lamb has to go to another health spa for a fortnight I doubt he’ll survive.

    • Todd20036

      He went to Johns Hopkins?

      • pluky

        Nope. According to the Wiki he attended Florida Atlantic U, but no mention if he graduated.

  • SunsetGay

    Put the entire family behind bars. Lock up the failed parents who protected their piece of shit son. Lock the son up for life without parole (HE KILLED FOUR PEOPLE AND VIOLATED PROBATION!). Furthermore, remove the judge from the bench who initially sentenced him and ban him from ever practicing law again.

    Stop the George Zimmermanization of America.

    • Alan S. Lee

      That judge was a she, not a he.

  • Baby Dave

    They dyed their hair, but used their real names?

    Ok, everybody who thinks being rich means you must be smarter than anyone who isn’t, please explain yourselves.

    • Paula

      Nobody said they were smart.

      • Baby Dave

        My brother-in-law practically worships rich people. He’s dirt broke and couldn’t survive without my sister, but he insists that rich people “must be doing something right”, that their prosperity is emblematic of some superior intellect.

        In truth, he’s getting screwed. The whole system has been set up to keep working class people like us down and to rob us of the hours of our lives, as represented by money, which we spend working while not being compensated adequately for our labor.

        It’s a lost cause, though. No matter how many Shkrelis I point out, or how many Affluenzas I indicate, he’s blind to them.

        • skeptical_inquirer

          So your sister is the breadwinner? She should insist he worship her night and day.

          • Baby Dave

            She absolutely is, and has been for three decades.

            At the same time, she enjoys playing this odd Donna Reed-style 1950’s housewife role. As in, she defers to him for everything, never gives advice without asking his thoughts first, and never does anything without his permission.

            I’ve talked to her about how absurd this is. However, she likes the position she’s put herself in. I don’t get it at all

          • skeptical_inquirer

            Well, she is an adult but I hope that she’s smart enough to put something away for retirement.

            Maybe she enjoys the idea that he really needs her and that he would be lost without her (like she’s the Marge Simpson to his Homer). Because if he’s not hot, I got nothing else.

          • Baby Dave

            I’ve already asked her about retirement. She says she doesn’t plan on ever retiring.

    • TuuxKabin

      shhhh, don’t use the ‘d’ word . . . re: their hair, things just calmed down over that word.

  • hiker_sf

    5 years for evading arrest, assisting her son to break the law and whatever. Add another 2 years for crimes against hairmanity for that color.

  • Octavio

    Her new dyed hair will match her prison jumper.

    • nocadrummer

      Orange IS the new black.

  • delk

    Her GED really paid off. Without it she wouldn’t have lasted a day on the lam.

  • justmeeeee

    And being the upstanding person that he is, her son will let her rot in jail while he pays a bribe to get off the hook in Mexico and stays there living the high life for as long as Daddy’s Money allows.


      If Daddy doesn’t cut off the finances, throw him in jail too.

  • How is anyone that stupid? Hiding out but used her cell phone to call Domino’s to order pizza. What a moron.

    • Todd20036

      Anyone stupid enough to run after a DUI is stupid enough to do anything

    • JulieBL

      She’s cheap. Avoiding the charge for using the room’s landline. 😉

      • Reality.Bites

        Would have cost less to get a burner phone.

        • JulieBL


    • Ninja0980

      When you think you can get away with anything, smart decision making often doesn’t come into play.

    • motordog

      I thought those who have affluenza were typically allergic to such common foods as Domino’s pizza…I would have assumed she’d want caviar, kobe beef or quail eggs in aspic…hope she at least asked if they had 24 karat gold leaf as a topping.

      • Stubenville

        Darling, it’s new money.


    I am glad this boy was raised by a mother and a father, the way God intended.

    • magdafflore

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  • nocadrummer

    If they DO have time in jail, they’ll probably end up at the Bastrop Federal Correctional Institution (Texas) where they’ll live like they’re at a resort.
    “With unchecked foot traffic and a single security fence, inmates have
    been known to simply walk away from Bastrop without fuss or alarms.
    Welcome to the great state of Texas!”

    • clay

      Not so “law and order”y, after all.

      • Kelly Lape

        “Law and order” for the poor.

        Big government bonuses for their friends.

        • clay

          I think that’s the “order” part.

          • nocadrummer

            I’ll have two cheeseburgers with onion rings, a chocolate shake and a side of fries, chicken strips, with apple pies…

      • so, partner and i argue over TV time, which is limited. i like my L&O. i like it b/c it’s Total Fantasy. no cops, no DAs, no judges, are this right and fair in our real world. but i still like to watch it, sometimes. like other people watch musicals and zombie shows. fantasy is soothing, in our troubled world.

    • TJay229

      Her crime and his are not Federal Charges.
      They (Texas) just enlisted the help of the US Marshalls to apprehended them. His crimes of Probation violation isn’t a Federal Offense.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        They could be facing Federal charges now:

        18 U.S. Code § 1073 – Flight to avoid prosecution or giving testimony
        Whoever moves or travels in interstate or foreign commerce with intent either (1) to avoid prosecution, or custody or confinement after conviction, under the laws of the place from which he flees, for a crime, or an attempt to commit a crime, punishable by death or which is a felony under the laws of the place from which the fugitive flees, . . . shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than five years, or both.

        • TJay229

          That would stem from your original charge/indictment being FEDERAL.

          • 2guysnamedjoe

            Hmm. I thought “under the laws of the place from which he flees” meant state laws.

          • TJay229

            If the original CHARGE was in STATE court; the SENTENCE was handed down in STATE court… The only way you wind up in FEDERAL court is if you commit a FEDERAL crime AFTER that (and your criminal record would be used against you in sentencing).

            As much as I would like for this monster to wind up in ADULT court… It’s not going to happen just yet. I don’t know you, but trust me…it’s not. That racist foolish Judge sentenced him in Juvenile Court (which is state court)…therefore keeping his case there. There is no Federal Law that he ‘broke’ per say, by not reporting to his probation officer and running to Mexico.. Nope, not gonna cut it. The Federal government is not wasting time or money on this asswipe for that. The most that is going to happen is to get him is 120 days jail time, then have his violation moved into ADULT Court (due to his age) and then, let him face Adult time, in State Prison.

            🙂 Watch… It’s gonna go down just like that.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      Maybe the sentencing judge will note their recent travels make them less than ideal candidates for a low-security facility.

  • pro tip: if you’re dyeing your hair to avoid detection, do NOT call carrotop’s salon for advice.

    • TJay229

      Pro tip:
      You DYE clothes.
      You COLOR your hair.


      • Reality.Bites

        Attitudes like yours ruin things like “She was a suicide blonde. Dyed by her own hand.”

        • TJay229

          “Attitudes like mine..”

          What, cause I’m correct?
          Or do you just want to live by the words of INXS your whole life?

          • Good Shot Green

            If we’re being pedantic, “cause” needs an apostrophe at the beginning, ’cause you’re contracting “because.”

          • TJay229

            Thanks.. I’ll remember that.

          • TuuxKabin


      • Chris Baker

        dye |dī| nouna natural or synthetic substance used to add a color to or change the color of something.verb (dyes, dyeing, dyed) [ with obj. ] add a color to or change the color of (something) by soaking it in a solution impregnated with a dye: [ with complement ] : I dyed my hair blonde | (as adj. dyed) : dyed black hair.• [ no obj. ] take color well or badly during a dyeing process:it’s good material—it should dye well.

    • Stubenville

      [clutches pearls] That’s not her natural color?

  • tcinsf

    Meanwhile, Richie Rich is in a Mexican prison. There’s more than a little justice in that.

  • Paula

    What happened to the smirk on her face?

    • Dreaming Vertebrate

      Same as Shkreli’s smirk.
      The long arm of the law done slapped that smirk right off.

  • Queequeg

    Looks like she was arrested by Angel from “Dexter”, maybe with the help of Mitch Peleggi, in disguise.

    • Good Shot Green

      Ahn-hel, as LaGuerta would say.

      • bJason

        My first thought too!

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    They keep talking about their extreme wealth. Where did it come from ? I assume it is ” new money ” ??

    • Ethan’s father, Fred Couch, owns a sheet metal company in Forth Worth. Yes, it’s ‘new money’, but that’s not really important. They’re also not ultra-wealthy, just fairly well off.

      Basically, their whole family is a piece of work, with the belief that money and threats can exempt them from any law they don’t feel like following. In short, reading some of the background stories make it clear enough Ethan didn’t just spring up out of nowhere like some bad seed. His parents raised him to be like he is — a kid with no sense of responsibility or ability to think through the consequences of his actions. His mother in particular seems to have no limit to the degree she’ll spoil him.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok


  • Prion


  • So brassy. I see the I’m not the only one who thought about Carrot Top.

  • I’ve been laughing at all the people worrying that Carrie Fischer didn’t age well. Talk about not aging well. Have they seen pics of Ethan Crouch?

  • TJay229

    Damn.. To bad the bitch wasn’t on Con-Air, she went commercial, well on second thought… Going commercial with everyone seeing you, in chains, paparazzi every where is pretty embarrassing id imagine.

    • Stubenville


  • nocadrummer

    So, you run away to MEXICO, and dye your hair da-glo orange, thinking “hey, they’ll never recognize me. I’ll blend right in!”
    Obviously, she didn’t notice that most residents there have black hair. She might have been a lot less noticeable if she’d gone to Ireland where there’s at least a FEW redheads.

    • Stubenville

      I can’t help myself; orange is the new black.

  • TJay229

    Am I the only Gay man here that knows that people don’t ‘dye” their hair.. It’s called ‘coloring’ or ‘color’?

  • rusty57

    Actually, I think Carrot Top has had more work done.

    And doesn’t anyone in that family have any boundaries?

  • Glen

    Perhaps one day they will have a cure for Affluenza. Or even a vaccine.

    • RoFaWh

      We already have it, but don’t use it: high, even confiscatory, marginal income and wealth tax rates.

    • JustSayin’

      Its called foreced sterilizationn of the too stupid to be rich set.

    • Stubenville

      I believe a swift kick in the ass would be the wonder drug you seek.

  • dcurlee

    He should have been sent to prison to start with….no he, him mom and the stupid ass judge that let him off all need to be behind bars

  • Merv99

    Speaking of privileged murderers in Texas getting off easy, Paul Broussard’s murderer was released from prison yesterday.

  • Stubenville

    I expect they put Mom on the first flight to the USA to keep her lawyer from throwing up any more obstructions, hence California, not Texas.

    Having to fly commercial! Cruel and unusual punishment!

    • TuuxKabin

      Cruel and unusual punishment for the other passengers. Where you been Stubenville, haven’t seen ya’ for a while. Hope you have a Happy New Year.

      • Stubenville

        Doing okay here; just too little time to relax (like everyone else.)

    • Stev84

      Together with the demons. If only she had a private jet like every decent mega church preacher.

  • James

    She looks like a real piece of work.

  • Secure

    I hope they get that pathetic PUNK too.

  • Ninja0980

    It’s Carrot Top!

  • Helen Damnation ✓ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

    I was just about to say, Ninja0980, are we absolutely sure this lady isn’t Carrot Top?

  • Gianni

    Where’s daddy in all this? If mom was his major influence while growing up, one can see why his brain/attitude are the way they are. “Affluenza”, what nonsense!

  • JustSayin’

    A phrase I never expected to utter (for grammatical reasons among many others) ….twitter needs to stop disrespecting carrot top

  • Well, they tried to blame Ethan’s drunken murders on his shitty, indulgent, spoiled upbringing. There is little doubt this defense was used because Mommy Dearest was willing to do anything so her pookums never had to suffer the consequences of his actions.

    In a way, Tonya Couch ending up in prison for aiding and abetting her son’s probation violations and fleeing the country feels almost like justice. Now if Ethan could just be put away, too…

  • Gordon.

    White trash with money…

  • Terance Greene

    I have no idea what any of this is about? And don’t anybody even think about telling me! i don’t want to know? So don.-?T…?..!

  • goofy_joe

    Sociopaths…and the lawyer who defended them on TV, saying “what would you do if your child was the most hated child in the US?”

    I know what my father would do, he would turn me in and make me pay for my crimes. That’s what ADULTS do…these people have no concept of responsibility.

  • EqualityForAll

    I just sneezed and a quarter flew out of my nose. I think I caught the affluenza.

  • Jerry Kott

    Looks like the mom is working to be a Carrot Top double?

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