Kim Davis: The Modern Fundamentalist [VIDEO]

“I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist. I’m not merely judgmental, I’m the absolute judgmentalest! I always follow scripture and I act on God’s authority, Though marital fidelity was never my priority.” Gilbert and Sullivan would approve.

  • Blake Jordan

    This was so fantastic, and factually accurate.

  • Lakeviewbob

    People call me a bigot! It is so unfair.

    I hope the bitch sees this. But the mockery would be lost on her.

    • Charles in Bloomington

      I’m sure she’s not aware of the original.

      • Chucktech

        THIS. Missy Davis: Them gays think there so clever writin’ awl them sowngs and mowcking gawd…”

      • Bluto

        Perhaps something from Heehaw instead of Gilbert & Sullivan.

    • Michael White

      humor is lost on all of them. They are the most miserable group of people on earth.

      • Todd20036

        And when they try to create humor? Remember when Fox tried their own version of the Daily Show? Didn’t last one season

        • Chucktech

          EPIC fail.

        • Rebecca Gardner

          Was that the “1/2 Hour News Hour?” They can’t even create humorous titles.

          • B Snow

            A quote from the producer: “There really is nothing out there for those who want satire that tilts right.” (from Wikipedia)

            Yeah, there’s a reason for that.

          • JCF

            FFS, this reminds me—

            Yesterday, I saw an (of course) pickup truck w/ this bumpersticker: “I’ll worry about Global Warming as soon as I’ve finished Bigfoot-proofing my house.” I shit you not.

      • Chucktech

        Joyless and mirthless, I always say.

      • RoFaWh

        Now that you mention it, I wonder if the lack of a sense of humor says something about the organization of their minds. I’ll have to ask my psychiatrist friend what he thinks.

    • Rebecca Gardner

      The right wing mind is incapable of comprehending satire.

      • medaka

        I know — satire and irony both. What is up with that?

        • Rebecca Gardner

          Their minds work on fear and authoritarianism.

          • Herald

            That is the truth! Plus, their authorities are very good at keeping them in a state of fear as it is so much easier to keep the base inline then.

          • RoFaWh

            And literalism. They have very rigid minds.

          • JCF

            Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding!

      • Friday

        Humor of any kind requires a capacity to see two points of view at once. 🙂

    • Tom Mears

      Will she even know who G&S were? Maybe we could tell her the song comes from a new musical: The Butt Pirates of Penzance

  • oikos

    Outstanding!

    • Henri205

      The lyrics are brilliant.

  • WhiteJesus

    Repent evil doers!

    • lymis

      I keep trying to repent of them, but they keep turning up.

      • Chucktech

        Yeah, they do that…

  • tomfromthenews

    “My next husband Michael Huckabee”! Awesome!

  • Harry Flashman

    Haven’t laughed like that for a while

  • olandp

    Wonderful!

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    Hysterical and well done.

  • dcurlee

    That was geat

  • Todd20036

    My only critique is that the actors playing Kim and her husband were WAY too good looking compared to the people they were mocking.

  • Jolly well done!

  • bdsmjack

    Brilliant!

  • Prion

    “…If I can see that love is love no matter what the sexes are,
    And understand that gays are just like me and my three exes are…”

    Excellent lyrics!

  • JesterRedPanda

    Bravo! that made me smile so wide that it made my cheeks hurt!

  • disqus_oCvsL5SBJH

    Love it. Just wish they would change one thing. “Flaunt” does NOT equal “Flout.” If Kim Davis flaunted the law, she wouldn’t be the Religious Right’s latest martyr in chief, it’s because she’s flouting the law.

    • lymis

      You’re right, but it’s not actually all that wrong in this context. She does keep waving the law around as a form of excessive display. She just gets it consistently wrong.

      • disqus_oCvsL5SBJH

        That would be flaunting flouting the law, not just flaunting the law. I think it was a mistake by the lyricist. I still loved it, we should just use words for what they mean.

        • Reality.Bites

          It seems to have become a common mistake.

          And just when I was giving up the fight on hopefully.

          • Chucktech

            The fight on hopefully?? Oh, honey, you can just FORGET that one…

        • Hue-Man

          “When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a
          scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’

          ’The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’

          ’The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘which is to be master — that’s all.”

          Through the Looking Glass

  • Steven Leahy

    LOL what’s a sybarite?

    • Hedonist, basically, I think.

    • stuckinthewoods

      Sybaris was an ancient Greek city in Italy, renowned for its wealth and luxury. “Sybaritic” became synonymous with extravagance and decadence.

  • Bernie

    good stuff!

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Lovely way to start the day!

  • Disqusdmnj

    Funny and well done, but all I hear is Tom Lehrer’s “The Elements Song”!

    • Chucktech

      Gilbert and Sullivan probably stole it from him!

      Funny story: My hubby heard me (attempting to) play Beethoven’s Appasionata Sonata on the piano and said it sounded like something Beethoven must have stolen from Gilbert and Sullivan…

      • David Walker

        Sullivan never gets enough credit, in my not very humble opinion. Not that Gilbert wan’t funny, but he tended to crank out lyrics in less-than-challenging meters. Sullivan always had the right to ask for re-writes, which he never did. Sir Arthur had a knack for turning doggerel into gold. (Anti-fact: Doggerel got it’s name for the form invented by the Italian poet Luciano Giocomo Doggereli.)

        • Chucktech

          Truth be told, I never really like Gilbert and Sullivan. To me, all their music is either “Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump, -ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump. Or, like this tune (which I did think was genius on their part), Yet-ti-tidda, yet-ti-didda, yet-ti-didda, yet-ti-didda, yet-ti-didda-didda-dit!

          Apparently, BTW, they didn’t get along very well, either.

          • David Walker

            I’d suggest watching “Topsy-Turvy,” but it’s about them, so it might not be my best suggestion.

    • Natty Enquirer

      Many of us lost our virgin ears to the professor.

      • Disqusdmnj

        “Masochism Tango”? 😉

        • B Snow

          My husband wanted that to be the first dance at our wedding reception, but we didn’t have time to work out the choreography. Not that either of us can tango, anyway. 🙂

          • Disqusdmnj

            I was doing karaoke many years, and while the KJ was futzing with getting my song ready, and taking way too long, I busted out “I Hold Your Hand in Mine”.

            Needless to say, the crowd was a tad confused. But I was happy. 😉

          • B Snow

            My sister used that song to audition for her college choral group. She got in. 😀

          • Disqusdmnj

            Good for her! That song alone is about more than my sad vocal range.

  • medaka

    That was great! The lyricist fucking rocks!

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Now THAT’S how it’s done! Brilliant! Bravo!!!

  • Brilliant.

  • neonzx
  • BeaverTales

    Did the world end with the supermoon because of gay marriage? I’m confused….I think I overslept. I better check if the neighbors were evangelical, so I can go feed their kitties and doggies then claim all their furniture, since they were almost certainly Raptured.

    Kim Davis saved the world! It’s still here, innit???!!! That’s all the proof of her divine Authority you godless Sodomites need. Logic, science, and checkmate Atheists!

  • Necessitas

    That was great!

  • Needs more snake handling.

    • Justin

      More cowbell. And snake handling, too, of course.

      • Natty Enquirer

        More forehead.

  • That was full of win!

  • Hryflex

    Pretty nifty take on G&S! So many re-writings of the M-G song fall flat; I’ve never heard one this good….well, hardly ever.

    • Robincho

      Somebody please tell this skim milk to stop masquerading as cream…

      • Hryflex

        Very glad to hear my opinion backed by a competent authority.

  • Robincho

    d’Oyly Carte? Meet oily fart…

  • geoffalnutt

    Excellent! However, those who should see this probably won’t…and won’t understand it if they do. Remember: Republicans are dumb, humorless, nasty…and frightened of everything all the time.

  • grada3784

    At least she’s not the model of a modern Major General.

  • Queequeg

    Brilliant!

  • TheManicMechanic

    Sorry, you get no gay paaaperwooork!

    • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

      Hilarious! 😂

      • JCF

        Terrifying!

  • LOVES IT.

  • Joseph Miceli

    Absolutely fucking brilliant!!!! This goes on Facebook. I have relatives that would benefit from this.

  • Cuberly

    OMG! Very well done, brava!

  • Loved it! My favorite part was:

    UNACCEPTABLE ABOMINATIONS FORBIDDEN IN LEVITICUS

    Icky Gay Sex

    ACCEPTABLE ABOMINATIONS FORBIDDEN IN LEVITICUS

    Adultery
    Divorce
    Gluttony
    Tattoos
    Sex With Menstruating Women
    Shellfish
    Beard Trimming
    Polyester
    Rounded Haircuts
    Premarital Sex
    Consulting Psychics
    Remarriage After Divorce
    Masturbation
    Women Speaking In Church

    To which I would have added:

    Drinking Wine In Church
    Washing Soiled Meat And Dairy Dishes In The Same Dishwasher Load
    Cheeseburgers
    Tearing Your Clothes
    Working On The Sabbath
    Touching Or Eating Rabbit
    Going To Church Within 33 Days After Giving Birth To A Boy
    Going To Church Within 66 Days After Giving Birth To A Girl
    Picking Up Grapes That Have Fallen In Your Vineyard
    Failing To Pay A Worker’s Wages By The End Of The Workday
    Cursing A Deaf Or Blind Person
    Astrology
    Remaining Seated In The Presence Of The Elderly
    Pepperoni Pizza

    • billbear1961

      When will all these SINNERS be punished for their vile abominations?!

      I demand they be stripped of all their rights and SHUNNED!!

      O Lord, rain down fire and brimstone upon ’em!!

      • Can’t we just stone them?

        • billbear1961

          Excellent–very biblical.

    • ConnieHinesDorothyProvine

      For the record, I’m more comfortable with the idea of gay sex than with tattoos. I would never have gay sex, but it sounds more pleasant than the idea of having a needle stuck in me.

  • Incredibly great!!!!

  • billbear1961

    😀

    Thank you very much, Rena and James! (and everyone else involved in this production).

    Yes, she is the very model of a modern fundamentalist–a blatant HYPOCRITE.

  • DonnaLee

    Rhyming thespians and lesbians was brilliant.

    • billbear1961

      And it wasn’t the only clever bit!

      🙂

  • Oh my, that was brilliant.

  • Octavio

    I saw the lyric posted on another Disqus site a couple of weeks ago. They are quite good. I was wondering where the poster kifed them from. 🙂

  • Gery Weißschädel

    Well that was jolly good fun.

  • Claude Jacques Bonhomme
  • GayEGO

    Great video! She represents all of the right wing extremists!