Andy Samberg Rips “Intolerant” Kim Davis And “Racist” Donald Trump In Emmys Monologue [VIDEO]

Mediaite recaps:

In addition to his opening song about the over abundance of TV and some more jokes about the television industry, host Andy Samberg worked a few political jokes into his Emmy Awards monologue. “Donald Trump, of course, is running for president, to the delight of uncles everywhere,” Samberg said. “But I’ve gotta say, sure, Donald Trump seems racist…. what else?” “Sidenote, is it just me, or does Bernie Sanders always look like his flight is delayed?” he asked the audience. “The guy’s a mess.” “Paula Deen is on this season of Dancing with the Stars, but I gotta say, if I wanted to see an intolerant lady dance, I would have gone to one of Kim Davis’ four weddings,” Samberg added later of the Kentucky county clerk who chose jail over granting marriage licenses to same-sex couples. “It’s so ironic that she came out of jail to ‘Eye on the Tiger’ when you consider how many dudes have boned each other to that song.”

  • Michael Rush

    I have to put boning a dude to ” Eye Of The Tiger ” on my to do list .

    • Aurvara

      I thought I’d heard all the euphemisms for butt-hole.

  • American Patriot (TM)

    Stopping uncontrolled immigration is not racist.
    I did enjoy the King Joffery bit though .

    “Mother, why don’t you love me like you love Uncle Jaime”

    • Patrick

      Promoting reform of our messed up immigration system isn’t racist. Denigrating an entire class of hard working, decent people, is. Calling them all rapists, fomenting hatred toward them, is absolute bigotry. Trump, and apparently you, are members of a class that absolutely has to have some group to scapegoat for all our problems. Today it’s Latinos. America is better than that.

      • American Patriot (TM)

        He did not say they were ALL rapists and murderers, but a large number of them are. Over 30 percent of our prison inmates are illegal aliens ! I’m surprised that liberals are for flooding the country with illegals as it depresses the wages of working people, who you are supposedly all concerned about.

        • Cj

          ….and we know who gets off scott-free for the same offences .

        • hdtex

          Someone’s stumbled in from Brietbart I see.

          • canoebum

            And we all hope he’ll soon stumble out again. Right wingers are such boring idiots, with their fake “facts”, pre-conceived notions and belief in an version of the Constitution that doesn’t exist.

        • Joe in PA

          depresses the wages of working people…. Hahahaha…were’d you get that one…Fox News?

          • BobSF_94117

            Well, let’s not pretend that the normal way economies work doesn’t apply. Anytime there’s a substantial growth in the labor force, wages are depressed. (Especially when a certain party blocks all attempts to move the minimum wage to keep up with inflation).

          • Joe in PA

            you are right of course, but I doubt our ‘Patriot’ commenter was thinking about that when he/she made the statement. Also, it all has to do with the education/skill level of the folks in the ‘growth in the labor force’. Immigrants have little effect on higher wage jobs.

          • BobSF_94117

            Go tell that to a programmer or computer engineer. Or nurses for that matter.

          • TampaDink

            A.P. seems to believe that every time an undocumented worker is paid for harvesting crops, another corporate executive is denied a 6 figure bonus.

        • mwest

          From CNN who sourced this:

          73,665

          “The number of inmates in state and federal prisons who are not U.S. citizens, according to the latest prison population report from the Bureau of Judicial Statistics. That’s about 5% of the total prison population.”

          (it should be noted as well that there’s no division between Legal permanent residents and illegal residents in that stat)

          Also many of those in prison are in prison not for criminality but for being illegal.

          Funny also that you assume that the illegals in prison are also automatically Mexicans. American patriot just another word for ignorant racist.

          • American Patriot

            whole bunch of real statistics as opposed to communist news network propaganda.
            US citizens are deliberately kept in the dark by the media when illegal aliens commit crimes, and the government does it’s best to hide it so as to not create resistance to the invasion. You have to warm the pot gently so the frog doesn’t hop out.

            http://www.cairco.org/issues/united-states-crime

          • medaka

            communist news network propaganda

            Go back to Breitbart, dearie — or Stormfront.

          • American Patriot

            I suppose you also think that “ahmed” actually “built” a clock LMAO. He took an old digital clock out of it’s housing and placed it in a briefcase or pencil box) Such a gifted young man ! Can’t wait to see this boy genius show them how it’s done at Facebook. haha

          • Bj Lincoln

            T …Tt…..Troll!!!
            Real stupid one too!

          • medaka

            Yeah, this one isn’t worth much more than the good old point-and-laugh.

          • American Patriot

            Ahmed quote from Dallas Morning News:
            “I closed it with a cable, so… because, I didn’t want to lock it to make it seem like a threat so I just used simple cable…. so it won’t look that much suspicious”.

            That’s what you call an admission of premeditation and intent. In his own words, with forethought, he knew the briefcase with wires and “a countdown clock” would be “suspicious”; especially around 9/11.

          • Joseph Miceli

            You are SUCH an amateur. Here, let me show you how a REAL master does it!

            Bill_Perdue

            Why did you vote for a fellow DOMA lover?

            BS voted to fund US racist wars of aggression. He supports them. So do HRH HRC and Trump. Which warmonger will you vote for.

            In terms of the struggle against US wars BS is a quisling. That’s far worse than the out right pro-war stances of Trump, the Bushes, the Clintons and Obama.

          • Sean Taylor

            oh dear

          • ColdCountry

            Of course he knows, he doesn’t live under a rock, and he has a brain, as well.

          • RoFaWh

            The fault in that case is the media’s for over-hyping what the lad had done. Your kids, of course, are all geniuses.

          • BudClark

            What septic tank did YOU ooze out of? MIT isn’t interested in parlor tricks.

          • Ron Robertson

            communist: you keep using that word, but you don’t know what it means. In fact, you’re so dumb that I have to wonder if you’re doing this as some form of performance art. Nah… you’re just dumb.

          • hdtex

            Fake-ass “Patriot” is fake.

          • teeveedub

            Any point you are trying to make is automatically discounted when you demonstrate that you don’t know the difference between a possessive and a contraction.

            That, and the fact that everything you’ve written is based on bigotry and not fact.

          • Joseph Miceli

            Right. There’s a liberal media conspiracy! You people would be more funny if you weren’t so sad. Also, do you really think your corporate masters want an invasion? If so then you must support …gasp….REGULATION of corporations!

          • RoFaWh

            Hee hee hee.

            “Communist news network”

            Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

            Hey, the early nineteen-fifties just called; they’d like you back.

            PS: Another clue: Neither “Ozzie and Harriet” nor “Leave It to Beaver” is a documentary.

            PPS: I suggest you convert to Buddhism where doctrine includes the useful aphorism “change is always just around the corner.”

          • ColdCountry

            I see a whole lot of numbers there, but no citations.

          • Joseph Miceli

            Aren’t they adorable when they stumble in here? It must be galling for them to have their political “theories” so thoroughly destroyed by fact after fact, when we all know Breitbart is just an echo chamber of hateful insults and bigotry. What a wake up for them! I love my JMG people.

        • Ron Robertson

          No, a large number of them are NOT. I doubt it’s a higher percentage than those born here. I will say that a large percentage of people who blame immigrants for everything are buffoons who wouldn’t recognize how buffoonish they are (and wrong) if it was spray painted across their double-wide asses.

          • American Patriot

            Every individual who crosses the border without authorization is BY DEFINITION a law breaker and a criminal.

          • ColdCountry

            As is everyone who does not come to a complete stop at a stop sign.

        • Joseph Miceli

          Oh please. What is taking away jobs is the outsourcing of America so your corporate overlords can squirrel away trillions of tax-free dollars. Immigrants are such an easy target though.
          What you are doing is the equivalent of looking for your lost car keys on the corner instead of where you lost them in the parking lot because the corner has a street lamp so the light is better there.

          • American Patriot

            It’s the corporations that want the illegal immigrant flood. Jeb! is funded by wall street that’s why he defines this criminality as an act of love. LMAO

            Trump is beyond the control of our corporate overlords that’s why he is so popular.

            We need to start a new telethon for liberalism – it’s a tragic disease. I would like you to come on stage as our poster boy Joseph. There is hope for Joseph, please dial now our operators are standing by…

          • medaka

            ….

          • Joseph Miceli

            Trump IS one of your corporate overlords, you silly twit!
            Besides, what are you arguing for? Not REGULATION OF CORPORATIONS!!! GASP!!! I guess you better turn in your RNC card and swear allegiance to Saul Alinsky.
            On a completely related note: thank you for putting the first smile of the day on my face. You are so fun to bat around like a cat-toy. I hope my friend Vorpal sees you here.

          • American Patriot

            There’s nothing I enjoy more than watching that lunatic Jorge Ramos being ejected (albeit temporarily) from Trump’s news conference. It’s better than porn.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3mj51qagx0

          • hdtex

            Jorge Ramos is a better “American Patriot” than you could ever hope to be you pathetic troll.

          • JCF

            ::shake-shake-shake::

        • stevenj

          Site a source that says a “large number” are murderers and rapists.

        • Priya Lynn

          Although globally illegal immigrants have higher crime rates than citizens in the United States its the opposiite – illegal immigrants have lower crime rates than American citizens (scroll down to U.S.)
          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immigration_and_crime

      • American Patriot (TM)

        Migrant Crisis: The Footage the Media Refuses to Broadcast

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=352&v=ZV315xqbRK8

      • American Patriot

        Sixty percent of these “hard working decent people” are on public assistance. For those with children it’s over 70 percent. How is this good for american society to import people who will be wards of the state for their entire lives. This is destroying our social safety net.

        • hdtex

          Cite a source asshat or STFU.

        • TampaDink

          Close to 100% of all senior citizens are on “public assistance”, (Social Security) Something MUST be done to those moochers.
          /sarcasm.

        • stevenj

          So glad to hear that you will not be taking Social Security or Medicare and saving the government some money. Do you have a source that says what you say?

    • skeptical_inquirer

      Oh, dude, do you ever bitch about the people who hire them? Do you EVER talk about the rich, mostly white people who turn their noses at hiring YOU and fellow Americans at full price and constantly scrounge around for ways to screw YOU and the people who come here over.

      You personally might a bit but I always find that most of the public talk is almost always about the least powerful and the most brown and instead praise CEOS gouging the companies & parachuting out with gold to be gods worthy or worship. I can point to Carly Fiorina who fired thousands, screwed the company and pooped on everybody on the way out while her bank account got padded. She’s #2 on the GOP polls.
      If YOU and YOUR FRIENDS would instead hold the ‘job creators who want slaves and refuse to take any damn responsibility for setting companies on fire’ with as much contempt and loathing, you’d actually change things instead of being distracted by “hey, hate this other minority group that we also abuse and take advantage of so we can eat popcorn!”

      But no, whenever that is suggested, all I hear is word salad about freedom, capitalism and class warfare. The American Revolution WAS class warfare. We told a king off! Why the hell people now treat the mega rich as kings is beyond me.

    • RoFaWh

      Your great-grand-to-the-nth parents were immmigrants, too, remember, and very likely there were few controls in those days, whenever they were. I’ve looked into this in connection with tracing my family tree and it seems like in the early nineteenth century, all that was required was a simple declaration “we’re here to stay”. In Colonial times, I doubt there was any control at all.

      Also, you do seem a bit clueless, so here’s a clue that you are free to reject as unpaid-for advice: anyone who bills himself as “patriot” is just like a car dealers claiming he’s “honest.” Yeah, sure.

      And here’s another little clue: if the US weren’t so fond of destabilizing “unfriendly regimes”, maybe all these uncontrolled immigrants whereof you speak would stay at home.

  • MBFGA

    Best joke of the night

  • CB

    I actually found the whole broadcast extremely boring. While award shows aren’t usually great, this one almost put me to sleep. A couple jabs here and there, but overall a boring mess. Nothing seemed to give it a jolt. I don’t think there was even a decent presenter jokester, except for Ricky Gervais.

  • Porkie

    • NeverEclipsed81

      OMG!! lol!

    • TJay229

      Hello Sexy man!

      • Porkie

        🙂 <3

    • delk

      Go University of North Texas!

      • teeveedub

        Citizens United? No, Thanks.

    • 2karmanot

      OhMyGawd….that’s hilarious

  • Webslinger
    • American Patriot (TM)

      Excellent

  • NeverEclipsed81

    I was pleasantly surprised to see him get bold with that joke.. I thought he did well the whole night.

    • StraightGrandmother

      What I liked is that the whole audience

      a) knew who Kim Davis is
      b) knew she was married 4 times
      c) knew about her being intolerant
      Laughed in Kim Davis’ FACE, making her the butt of a joke.

      See Kimmy, they really DON’T Love you!

      • nocadrummer

        It’s those Librul Lame-stream perverts who all knew.
        Good Christian Fox viewers would NEVER know this stuff, nor tolerate all that librul misinformation!

  • Jose

    Nice tune for Monday. The Doors. “People Are Strange”.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRAr354usf8

  • Webslinger

    I want to kiss that HOT WIDE MOUTH as well as other things…

    http://i.huffpost.com/gen/698115/images/r-ANDY-SAMBERG-20Q-large570.jpg

  • Palmer

    He’d look so cute in a sling and ball-gag.