CNN Unveils GOP Debate Headliners

In a widely-criticized move, CNN tweaked their previously-announced rules to allow the top eleven GOP candidates onto the prime time debate stage. Most believe the change was made to accommodate Carly Fiorina.  CNN lays it out:

Thursday marked the close of the two-month window for determining eligibility based on averages of national polls. The results were based on 14 polls including interviews with more than 6,000 potential Republican primary voters. The top 10 candidates overall — plus Fiorina, whose average support places her within the top 10 in polls conducted after the first debate held August 6 — have all qualified for the 8:00 p.m. debate next Wednesday in Simi Valley. The remaining five candidates will appear during an earlier debate beginning at 6:00 p.m. The rules for inclusion were amended late last month so that any candidate who made the top 10 in an average of polls conducted after the Fox News/Facebook debate held on August 6 would also be included in the later debate. Fiorina is the only candidate to move from the bottom six to the top 10 in that post-debate average

Below is the kids’ table crew as notated by a Trump supporter.
kids

  • pj

    amazing to me that they all still think they have a chance to be president.

    • bkmn

      It is a possibility if your head is stuck in the wing bubble or the BuyBull.

    • SockMikey

      It’s weird to see people with 1% or 2% talk on TV like they *will* be the presidential choice of the Republicans – it’s like the Twilight Zone.

      I really think many of them are just in in for possible books, future jobs on news. It’s like watching ego/food fight death matches. Only off course they all will still be alive and some of them may be zombies to being with. 🙂

      They definitely need more brains – some would eat them, some could definitely use them (like Rick Perry) and some would just play with their food (Ben Carson).

      • Rex

        You’ve found the nail and hit it directly on the head.
        The majority are running, knowing they don’t have a snowball’s chance, but it keeps their name in the news and will help sell books and “I told you so” speeches in the future.

      • Gustav2

        Kasich believes he will be president, has since he was 8 years old.

        • bkmn

          More like when Dog talked to him.

      • ScottJL

        They have to, gotta keep those SuperPAC donations flowing in!

    • BlueberriesForMe

      There’s no publicity like any publicity.

  • Chucktech

    Accommodate Fiorina?? Maybe make room for a bottom tier loser like Christie is more like it…

    • Gustav2

      And Kasich, who, other than NH, is at 2%

      • motordog

        “Kasich”…I admit I’m not the biggest political watcher…but I have no idea who that even is. I don’t believe I’ve ever even heard the name before.

        • Gustav2

          Ohio’s current governnor, former congressman (who balanced the budget not Clinton, lol), former FOX News host, former Lehman Bros employee who is touted by the establishment as the savior when Jeb! implodes.

          • bkmn

            I think Jeb! imploded a while ago. He had better hope he doesn’t have to clean up after Xtie blows up.

        • Sam_Handwich

          Governor of Ohio. God talks to him.

          • Gustav2

            …and Ohioans curse him.

          • motordog

            God eh? My guess would be Dionysius.

          • Gustav2

            You know, I don’t remember ever seeing him with a drink.

          • motordog

            Perhaps…but didn’t Dion have ‘madness’ in his portfolio as well?

          • BlueberriesForMe

            I believe he was upset about a mountain name that was not located in his own state.

        • Chucktech

          Most likely, the reason you haven’t heard of him is because he, IMO, is the only one who even APPROACHES some semblance of sanity and reason, the occasional sop to gawd notwithstanding.

          • Gustav2

            Occasional sop? Yes he is less public. But this is the church where he reads the Epistle and Gospel when he is not campaigning for/buying third in New Hampshire.

            http://www.plunderbund.com/2015/08/05/john-kasichs-priest-lgbt-activists-are-militant-homosexualist-thought-nazis/

          • Chucktech

            So, like, what does that make Huckabee?

            Kasich is the only one of the bunch, as far as I know, who has publicly come out and say get over this gay marriage thing, it’s done, and I’d go to a SS wedding with no qualifying god crap and with best wishes for the couple.

            Who else feels this way or, at least, has said so publicly? Maybe Li’l Jebbie might grudgingly agree, anyone else?

          • Gustav2

            If he had not known this political operative/campaign aid for decades and decades, he would have run for the hills. His policies on poor women are Victorian. Rich white women, like his campaign honcho, may do as they can pay.

            He always sides with the most religious conservative legislators. His middle of the night defunding of Planned Parenthood and giving the money to lying Christian Crisis Pregnancy Centers is not felt by the middle class…he is careful that way.

            He campaign book to reintroduce himself to Ohio was a book about prayer.

          • Chucktech

            But if ONE of these clowns on that stage was going to be president, who do you want it to be?

            Sorry, but I’d have to choose Kasich.

          • Gustav2

            Huckabee governed as a Christian Socialist compared to Kasich.

          • canoebum

            Kasich was a leading member of Newt Gringrich’s cabal of conspirators that wreaked the US Congress. We’re still suffering for things Kasich helped do back then. He’s toxic to anything that resembles democracy.

          • Chucktech

            Every goddam one of them up there is. BUT, if one of them HAD to be POTUS, which one?

        • David Milley

          Principal Skinner

        • delk

          He’d go to gay weddings.

          • motordog

            Not MINE he won’t!

      • Some years ago, there was a candidate who was trying to get his party’s nomination (I don’t recall who, but it doesn’t matter) who was polling at only 3% of the vote. When asked about that, he responded “Well, you’ve got to remember, these polls have a 5% margin of error!”

        On The Daily Show, Jon Stewart quipped “Yes, and that means he’s potentially polling at negative two percent!”

    • Robincho

      Ask Hewlett Packard what happens when you accommodate Fiorina…

  • motordog

    Oh my…I wonder if that studly bit of rough trade, Cruz, will be all shirtless and tatted up! Maybe he and Trump can do some Turkish wrestling…okay…sorry, now I’m just making myself nauseous…

    • Snarkaholic

      Combining that pic with the Leviticus verse banning tattoos would make a lovely meme (if anyone here has the skillz).

  • bkmn

    Oh good, we get to see Larry tRump, Moe-hater-in-chief Huckster AND Curly Fiorina.

    • David L. Caster

      Never any shortage of stooges on a GOP debate stage.

  • Sam_Handwich

    they should have started with a polling average model that’s weighted toward the date of each particular debate. so their “tweek” is a logical fix, IMO

    the current RCP rolling average has Fiorina besting Christie, Paul and Kasich (of course they’re still all in low single digits)

    http://www.realclearpolitics.com/epolls/2016/president/us/2016_republican_presidential_nomination-3823.html

    • fuow

      Are you sure you didn’t confuse their IQs with their polling numbers?
      (Gone to check, be right back).
      Gosh, you didn’t. Turns out it doesn’t matter, though – both indices are in the single digits.

  • motordog

    I would have put Trump and Fiorina right next to each other…

    • Sam_Handwich

      oh no, she might shoot blood in Trump’s face from her panty hamster!

      • motordog

        I hear if even her shadow touches Trump, he’ll have to do a week long ritual cleansing.

      • Rebecca Gardner

        panty hamster???????? I don’t think I want to know.

        • Rebecca Gardner

          I had to google it and, well, I still don’t get it.

          • Sam_Handwich

            sorry. it’s a crass reference to Trump’s crass comments about Megyn Kelly, in which he alluded to her menstruating during the last debate.

            “You can see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever…”

          • motordog

            “It’s full of stars!”

          • Bad Tom

            Damn! We have the best gifs.

    • Rebecca Gardner

      With extra drinking game points if he calls her Frau Farbissina.

    • zhera

      And Huckafuck and Cruz next to each other. 😀

      • Gustav2

        Well, Huckafuck didn’t pay for this flatbed for the rally.

    • PiperPine

      I would. That might be interesting televison

  • poor Sashay. i bet this was the table for the sorbet lime and mauve Chantilly lace dress.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    To quote my first year Physics Professor, “Does this pass the ‘So What’ test?”

  • oikos
    • JT
      • ✔GOOGLE✔ONLINE✔JOBS✔$98/H PAY

        my mate’s aunt makes $98 consistently on the PC………After earning an average of 19952 Dollars monthly,I’m finally getting 98 Dollars an hour,just working 4-5 hours daily online….It’s time to take some action and you can join it too.It is simple,dedicated and easy way to get rich.Three weeks from now you will wishyou have started today – I promise!!….HERE I STARTED-TAKE A LOOK AT……jmt..

        ➤➤➤➤ http://GoogleSpecialAccessedJobsOffersReportClub/$98hourlywork…. ⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛⚛

    • ScottJL

      Is it wrong for me to say I wouldn’t tap that?

      • oikos

        Well I thought you were gay, so no.

        • ScottJL

          Well, I have some gay & lesbian friends, and I’ve been to their weddings. That has to count for something right?

          • oikos

            That’s make you an honorary gay. 🙂

          • ScottJL

            Well there was this one time in band camp..

          • oikos

            Just going to band camp qualifies you.

          • ScottJL

            Guess you’ve never seen American Pie..?

  • another_steve

    There are two certainties in life: (1) The debate will be yet another Republican race to the bottom, and (2) Jerry Falwell is dead.

    Now we must answer today’s ‘Jerry Falwell is Dead’ Memorial Quiz Question.

    Your reward for being the first JMG reader to correctly reply will be waves of love sent from me to your modem or hand-held device.

    —————-

    The 1964 episode of “The Outer Limits” entitled “The Forms of Things Unknown” is considered by many to be among the series’ best.

    In that episode, which easy-on-the-eyes character spoke the line, “Kassia will pour, and Leonora will serve?”

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_YGVLM2i9n6o/Sd1rFgB9tKI/AAAAAAAAB8A/OiRvoNrYrhw/s400/Untitled-2.jpg

    • motordog

      Andre. Though I’ve seen the episode (long ago), I admit I needed a bit of help from wiki to recall his name. Anything to celebrate…uh, commemorate that is…the death of Falwell.

      • another_steve

        Correct!

        Bonus question:

        Which classically trained British actor of screen and stage starred in this episode, in one of his last roles, as the housekeeper, Colas?

        • motordog

          Carrot Top! Sorry, panicked…

          • another_steve

            WRONG! BEEP BEEP BEEP! WRONG!

            The correct answer is Sir Cedric Hardwicke, who died later in the year that this episode was released.

          • motordog

            I stand corrected, and am ready to receive my paddling…as always…

    • Sam_Handwich

      i can’t participate in this quiz. motordog ate my homework 🙁

    • Chucktech

      “…in her finest stiletto heels.”

      • another_steve

        Lol. Yes, there was that too.

        “The Forms of Things Unknown” featured an excellent
        ensemble cast that (in addition to the “bonus answer” actor below) included Vera Miles, Scott Marlowe, Barbara Rush, and a very young and sexy David McCallum. Also, a wonderfully spooky
        score and the eerie, disorienting camera work that “The Outer
        Limits” was famous for.

        I assume it’s available free somewhere on the web, and urge
        readers here to catch it.

  • clay

    Uh, 8:00 pm Pacific DST? Guess I’ll just read about it here the next morning.

    • Sam_Handwich

      i was wondering if those times were PT or ET

      • bkmn

        It’s going to be at the Raygun liberry so PDT. Expect more rewriting of St. Ronnies history and I have $10 that Carson wiil do an Alzheimer’s class.

        • Sam_Handwich

          Maybe they’ll reanimate Reagan’s corpse and he’ll do a tap dance on stage.

          • motordog

        • Chucktech

          So, 11:00 PM, EDT? No. Couldn’t be.

    • SockMikey

      I’m sure the networks will do playbacks of what they feel are the highlights the next few days, ad naseum.

    • BearEyes

      according to the link above, it’s 8 EDT.

  • William

    Where are Rick and Lindsay???

    • another_steve

      Starring together in the latest gay porn flick:

      “Bad Daddy Gets Some Southern Comfort”

      • jmax

        I was thinking “A Clowncar Named Desire”.

        • another_steve

          LMAO! Excellent!

          I bet Lindsey squeals when he’s getting pounded.

          • jmax

            I don’t EVEN want to know…

        • William

          Lindsay depends on the kindness of strangers, now that rentboy.com has closed.

          • another_steve

            ^^LMAO !!!

            Oh lordy, this blog is good today.

            I can tell I’m not going to accomplish anything meaningful today.

      • William

        Which one is the Daddy?

        • another_steve

          Much to my shame, in the past here on JMG I’ve expressed a bit of lust for Daddy Perry.

          I would like to be tied (gently) to the bedpost while Rick (very gently) flogs my behind and then makes nice-nice with his tongue.

          • William

            A former beau of mine swears he gave Perry a bj. He should have saved the DNA.

  • delk

    Okay, eleven on stage means everyone gets to waste their meager air time ignoring the question asked.

    Staffs are now ignoring all substantive matters in lieu of the perfect Trump zinger. Trump’s staff are wagering on how high his ratings will jump as a result while digging dirt on all the debate questioners.

  • justmeeeee

    Discrimination against Indian anchor babies!

  • Hue-Man

    I hope the boys at the kiddie table get haircuts and wear their best suits for their job interview….

  • Hue-Man

    We think having 4 or 5 party leaders in the Canadian federal election debate (3 in the next 2 weeks) is too many. With 11, it’s like a beauty pageant but only for awful, talentless people. Ugh, I just imagined Huckabee in the bathing suit portion.

  • Any word on if CNN even blinked about Trump’s challenge before stuffing all that cash in their pockets?

  • PiperPine

    Its like CNN can do nothing right. This Network flounders too much. If you have the time slots for two debates run a long debate with all the candidates in the room. It can’t possibly be worse then this and it might actually be interesting.

    • It’s not about the debate. CNN is like a facebook content generator, it’s all about the soundbites they can turn into memes.

      • PiperPine

        True but these ham handed poorly thought out moves like splitting the debate, following Fox New’s lead, and changing the rules to put in Ms. Fiorina when she garnered interest… its just not good planning

      • J Ascher

        CNN has really gone down hill since Ted Turner sold it.
        I remember during the Gulf War, CNN was the go-to network for solid news coverage.

        • SNL even covered CNN’s coverage and it wasn’t a parody per se.

  • StraightGrandmother

    So VERY DELIGHTED with the candidates at the kid’s table.
    A little annoyed that Ted Cruz wasn’t even futher from the center position, but glad Huckabee is where he is at.

    Huckabee must have like ONE big donor who keeps him on the national stage. His use by date has long long ago expired.
    Huckabee is like Scott Lively, Lively knew he would never win the Governorship but it got his face in the press so it was a win for him. Huckabee is the same way, he just wants so BAD to be on that stage, even though he knows he doesn’t have a snowballs chance in Hell of winning.

    • He’s probably being bankrolled by a corrupt christian organization with ties to the gun lobby and the Kochs. So, SBC or Evangelicals.

  • noni

    Affirmative Action for a rich white woman.

  • TheManicMechanic

    This would be hilarious if they weren’t serious.

  • Todd Allis

    I look forward to watching it!
    Well, skimming it…
    Naw, I’ll wait for Taiwanese Animators to summarize it.

  • Timothy Kincaid

    Hmmm… it looks like they are sorted in order of sanity from least to most.

    • J Ascher

      Unfortunately, it’s a very shallow distribution curve!

  • JCF

    “CNN Unveils GOP Debate Headliners”

    Did anyone else read that as “Hardliners”?