Pat Robertson: Gays And Everybody Who Accepts Them Are Totally Going To Hell [VIDEO]

Right Wing Watch:

Today on “The 700 Club,” Pat Robertson railed against a church with a gay pastor, saying that gay Christians and Christians who support gay rights are defying the Bible. “To have a church saying [homosexuality] is not a sin, it’s okay, they’re leading people down the road to perdition,” he told a viewer who had recently attended an inclusive church. “If I were you, I would stay far away from them.” Robertson told viewers in an earlier edition of the show that gay Christians are a threat to the faith.

  • LonelyLiberal

    Wait a second. So loving your neighbor is a sin? Who knew!

    • vorpal

      Only if your neighbour is gay.

      • Mcflyer54

        And only if the love is platonic and you try to get them the help (Jesus) they need.

        • vorpal

          The help THEY need, but do not want and never asked for.

          They just need it ever-so-lovingly forced on them, and if they say no, you haven’t tried hard enough.

      • Chucktech

        And you need to stay far, far away from “those people.”

        • vorpal

          (Oh, if only they would!)

          • Chucktech

            Oooohhh, no. No, they know that if we’d just listen to their “good news” we’d be saved. So, like the festering pustules they are, we have to endure them.

          • vorpal

            Given how many of them I’ve seen in online videos go to gay pride events and even mosques with megaphones turned to the maximum allowable volume by law, they are DETERMINED to take that good noise news and hammer it down our ears.

            I’m starting to think that maybe it’s time we lance and drain those infected pustules for the good of humanity.

          • ZhyKitty

            Ugh. I spent all of yesterday with my Granny. She’s 96.
            We got into this discussion again (I worship my Granny even though we don’t agree on everything), and I got very frustrated (which I hid from her) because she wouldn’t even try to comprehend anything I had to say about any of it.
            Bless her heart, she tried so hard to get me to say that I’d at least make Pascale’s wager (not in those terms, but that’s what she was asking) so we could be together again in heaven. She was quite sure that if I would just do that, that the good lord would probably overlook my entire life, all I’ve done, and everything I really believe in. *sigh*

          • vorpal

            You should have asked her to reverse-make Pascal’s wager so that you could be together in hell. (I kid, but just to highlight the silliness of the whole thing.)

            My grandmother – who had a grade six education and lived a very sheltered life on a farm in a tiny Christian community her whole life – used to always say, “Isn’t it funny how all these different colours of people came from Adam and Eve?”

          • ZhyKitty

            Bless them…
            My Granny, like yours, barely had any education at all, never had anything, never went anywhere, and was daughter and wife to poor mountain men who were farmers. They can’t be blamed for their superstitions, which go way past religion in my Granny’s case.
            They just don’t know any better….and at 96, isn’t likely to be changing her mind, regardless of anything I say. When it comes to this subject, she won’t entertain my blasphemous ideas, not even for a second. lol
            (I bet yours wouldn’t have either? lol)
            She’s a VERY loving person though, and if her greatest fault is that she was born into poverty and superstition and never knew anything else, well…I can think of worse. She would never ever say or do anything to hurt another living soul.
            (And she is a devout Democrat, too.)

          • vorpal

            With all that, I’d say she seems to be doing pretty marvelously!

            Haha I _think_ (but am not certain) that when she died, my grandmother knew I was gay and was okay with it, but I don’t think she would have even knew what the word “atheist” meant if I told her :-).

          • 2karmanot

            It’s so hard to tell our dear ones in Jesus’ name that heaven is not an all white Republican Country Club, which serves creamed chicken lunches for all eternity and for all eternity pipes in Lawrence Welk elevator music. (pssss…it’s really hell, because all the room thermometers are set at 90 and there are no private rooms.)

          • David in Tucson

            Oh, my! Lawrence Welk? Creamed chicken? Never any French lamb stew? Or chiles rellenos? What if I want to hear J. S. Bach? Sounds like a dreadfully boring place, at least the Republican Country Club version!

          • Bad Tom

            That’s why it’s really Hell.

          • Ted.OR

            Re: Pascal’s wager. There’s always “What if we’re both wrong? What if there is a god, but ‘his’ name is Buddah? or Shiva? Or Allah?”

      • Rebecca Gardner

        or neatly shaven,
        or has a tattoo,
        or wears clothes of mixed fabrics,
        or eats shrimp,
        etc, etc, etc.

        • vorpal

          No, those things are all okay because they’re only violations of the RITUAL laws in Leviticus, i.e. the ones we don’t find personally distasteful and thus Jesus makes it all okay, and not of the PURITY laws, i.e. the buttsex ones that we think are gross and thus Jesus totes stands by them.

          • Rebecca Gardner
          • vorpal

            There are SO MANY things wrong with that picture that I can’t even.

          • Todd20036

            Not to mention that the bible mentions gluttony more than gays, and that guy seems to have eaten a few burgers too many

          • vorpal

            They aren’t mutually exclusive :-).
            When it comes to being gay, I am absolutely a glutton!

          • ZhyKitty

            Oh well. I’m going to burn for much more spectacular crimes against the lawd than my memorial tattoos if they’re right. Make it count folks! lol

          • Chucktech

            You might also want to make sure it’s spelled correctly…

          • ZhyKitty

            LOLz!!!!!!!
            Thankfully, I can spell the names of everyone I’ve lost and most of my tattoos were done by one of my best friends who did them for a living. He’s gone now, too…so I’m hesitant to ever get them touched up even though a lot of them really need it.

          • Doug105

            Throw in some good ole blasphemy.

          • ZhyKitty

            Daily, my dear. Daily.
            Always looking for creative ways to cross off the breaking of the commandments.
            Remember, you can scratch off murder by just stepping on an ant or pulling up some weeds…technically…

          • Todd20036

            You can scratch off incestuous molestation by doing some carpentry

          • Ian

            Or doing Fiorina’s make-up. Oooff, she doesn’t have a gay in that entourage, guaranteed.

          • ZhyKitty

            Guaranteed x 2.
            The woman has a face like a cat’s ass to begin with,
            but you can tell she doesn’t have a single gay to dress her, do her hair, or help with her face.
            I’d feel bad for her if she weren’t such a (cover your eyes, SG!) f-ing C U N T.

            Did you know we had swear filters on here?
            I got moderated! Holy s h i t!

          • Nychta

            Who you gonna call? Godbusters!

          • ZhyKitty

            There was no pic with this the first time, because I hadn’t refreshed. I’m not only LMAO, I’m swiping this for my collection!
            ROTFLMAO

          • Ginger Snap

            I have made every last little fucking glorious minute count so far and there are more to come. Best advice ever!

          • ZhyKitty

            LOL It is good advice. It’s something my sister used to say when we were out of options and forced to go score our dope from unsavory (and potentially dangerous) sources. lol

            You’re like me. Squeezed every bit of the juices life had to offer, every day, in every way you could think of.
            You know what? People like us never lay on a deathbed saying “Oh, I wish I’d tried….this…or that..” because if we wanted to do it, we went right ahead and did it when the opportunity presented itself anyway. lol
            May you live to raise hell into your 90’s, and still have your wits!

          • Ginger Snap

            Flame on Motherfuckers!!!!!!!

          • ZhyKitty

            Right on!!!!

            Fire, fire, burning higher
            Making music, like a choir…

            —— The Gump
            (A quote from the mythical movie Legend)

          • Ginger Snap

            Excellent movie.

          • ZhyKitty

            I should have known you would know and love it, too.
            *hugs*
            That movie is one of mine and my twin sister’s “special things”. We used to quote out of it to one another a lot.

            She would say something like “Can you hand me the baby wipes?” and I would say “I do nothing for your pleasure!”
            and then would toss them to her. lolololol

          • David Walker

            In the movie “Latter Days,” the Mormon missionary about to be excommunicated for kissing a man, spends the night with the man who’d been trying to seduce him. While they’re resting, he asks the missionary why he spent the night, to which the missionary replies, “Well, I figured I’m going to hell anyway, so I might as well take the scenic route.”

          • ZhyKitty

            LMAO!!!!! The scenic route is always best, isn’t it? lol

          • Princess Lardass

            I see that and think, “What kind of person would have a biblical prohibition against homosexuality tattooed on his arm?”

            Why doesn’t the guy go ahead and have ‘Obvious Closet-case’ tattooed across his forehead?

          • B Snow

            Someone who needs that reminder daily. Or even hourly.
            (Whoops, I misread your post. Yes, “Obvious Closet-case would have worked. 🙂 )

            This is the version I like:

          • crankyd

            That idiot didn’t even get the quote correct!

          • ZhyKitty

            Going to be a lot of straight people in hell for the buttsex, too, if that’s the case.
            They do it too.
            I don’t understand why that’s always left out. Very convenient for homophobes.

          • vorpal

            (Shhhhhh! Straight people who have anal sex – like gay men who don’t and like lesbians in general – we pretend don’t exist since it doesn’t confirm our deeply held religious prejudices!)

          • Chucktech

            It also rankles the bejesus out of them when you point out that they, too, are sodomites.

          • vorpal

            DUDE, IT’S NOT THE SAME THING!

            If you’re in a REAL marriage, then everything is an expression of love between man and wife.

            If, on the other hand, you’re in a so-called gay mockery of a so-called marriage, aka two buddies shacking up to play an elaborate game of house*, your entire existence is founded on the most base of animalistic lusts with the intention of destroying TRUE marriage and the family, and you have no conception or understanding of what love is.

            (* This is how my 11 year marriage to my husband has been described EXACTLY on numerous occasions by far-righty-whities!)

          • 2karmanot

            animalistic lusts, where, now ? OK? YES!

          • vorpal

            I can get behind that (or in front of it, depending on my mood)!

          • 2karmanot

            Yep, I’m bilingus too.

          • Ginger Snap

            “Elaborate game of house” sounds like a boardgame that would be purchased with Mystery Date.

          • Bj Lincoln

            I guy I grew up with ‘found’ Jesus. I didn’t know this when I bumped into him outside my brothers office. He went off about the tattoos loud enough for the entire hallway to hear. When I snickered and reminded him I was gay, he almost had a heart attack. He went into a similar spiel about real love and fake marriage. How exposing the kid to it was child abuse.
            It was sad to hear this crap coming from my friend. I felt bad for him.

          • ZhyKitty

            I know…I know…stop with the logic and truth, it doesn’t fit the narrative.
            Can you imagine how sad their bedrooms are though, if they really don’t do any of the things they’re always telling us we shouldn’t be doing? Half the things on the forbidden list are vanilla as fuck…

          • vorpal

            I’m convinced that they do MANY of the things that they’re always telling us that we shouldn’t be doing: they just find it twice as fun because of how taboo they’ve made those things and thus how naughty they think that they’re being.

            But a “Sowwy Jesus!” fixes it all.

          • 2karmanot

            Especially that blue eyed surfer Mr. Jeebus looking down from the wall over the marriage bed.

          • vorpal

            OMG… when I was in Rome last month, THIS was hanging on the wall next to the bed in my hotel room.

            I’m still not sure if it made masturbation easier or harder.

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7f027c483aec28be2ba6fef066298b5bf314e9c45d4363ff646e98eb5bfa8476.png

          • kevin vincent

            Well not surprising lol Rome does literally surround the Vatican after! And ow are you?

          • vorpal

            Good! How are you, K-kun?
            (Change your avatar!)

          • kevin vincent

            Doing okay, you disappeared yesterday *poke* move to email?

          • vorpal

            Give me 45 mins or so? I am at work trying to get some things done, and not really checking e-mail right now!

          • kevin vincent

            Okay no prob!

          • Todd20036

            You need to taper the end below the feet, and varnish it to prevent splinters.
            But it’s workable.

          • Ginger Snap

            Haaaaaaaaa! My work day just got better.

          • JCF

            Huh, the one in my bedroom’s never bothered MY wanking efforts. The Guy on the cross (as, um, “God”) created masturbation, doncha know! 😉

          • vorpal

            LOL! “This is masturbation. It’s fun. NOW DON’T DO IT!”

          • JCF

            “NOW DON’T DO IT!”: not in MY Bible. :-/

          • grada3784

            I think it was because Onan was such a drip,

          • Jeffrey

            Depends on where you’re sticking it, I guess

          • vorpal

            I could save you a lot of time and just tell you where I didn’t stick it.

          • crankyd

            maybe for exorcising bedbugs?

          • Harley

            Just remember. You go to heaven for the climate but you go to hell for the company.

          • vorpal

            Heaven is actually hotter than hell:

            http://paulbourke.net/fun/heaven/

          • *NmySkynn70*

            good one, they (str8 men) LOVE to try to poke a woman there, but at the same time want to blast man-on-man sexx. . .

          • Ted.OR

            Their standard answer: “Jesus came to free us from the ritual law. But the ‘sin’ of homosexuality is still in the New Testament. In Paul’s letters.”

            To which you answer: “But that is Paul. It isn’t Jesus.”

            To which they answer: “Paul was a man of God. And Jesus WAS God. Therefore, if Paul said it, it means God said it, and thus Jesus said it.”

            Of course, they don’t usually know WHY the church considers that Jesus was God. They don’t know that a group of MEN got together and voted on it. Or that the vote wasn’t even unanimous.

          • grada3784

            The guys who voted that Jesus was God disposed of the ones who voted no. In a very Christian manner.

          • Mcflyer54

            Cafeteria Christians. They choose God’s laws like picky children choose vegetables.

    • JT
    • JT
  • Octavio

    Going down on my neighbors is a sin? But they are so nice to me!

    • Chucktech

      And they seem to like it a lot!

      • Octavio

        They do. And their christain guilt makes them sneak off as soon as I’m done with them, so I don’t have to make them breakfast. 🙂

        • Chucktech

          One of mine actually burst into tears from his guilt of the gay sex we had. Completely fucked up breakfast!

          • Octavio

            I hate when that happens. 🙂

          • ZhyKitty

            Well…but then…no dishes to wash…always a silver lining.

          • vorpal

            Tears make great lube for round 2.

          • David in Tucson

            Really just ruins the bacon and eggs, right?

  • D. J.

    His “viewer questions” are always so convenient.

    • jomicur

      He cherry-picks his damn Bible. Why shouldn’t he cherry-pick his mail, too?

      • JCF

        Cherry-picks, mistranslates, misinterprets: a tri-fecta of disingenuous BS.

    • No, no, it’s a coincidence. I figure they’re just like the asks I get on tumblr that are also definitely not written by the person answering them:

      “Dear Sarah,

      How did you become so beautiful, brilliant, witty, and charming? Is it just natural?

      sincerely,
      Totally Not Sarah”

  • Herald

    Gay Christians are a threat to Pat Robertson’s faith and grifting.
    There I fixed it for him.

    • ScottJL

      Anyone with half a brain is a threat to Pat Robertson’s faith and grifting.
      Fixed it for you too!

      • Rebecca Gardner

        Anyone with have a brain is a threat to religion.

        • Langalf

          I know this is standard atheist line, but I really object to it.

          Over the centuries some of the most intelligent, astute, and questioning people have been Christian theologians. They have not been content to just accept the texts, but have analyzed them, considered them and debated them. The fact that a group of right-wing evangelists is willing to throw out centuries of good Christian theology for their own bigoted purposes should not condemn all religion.

          • Chucktech

            Over the centuries some of the most dangerous and deluded people have been Christian theologians. Thomas Aquinas springs to mind.

            Over the centuries some of the most intelligent, astute, and questioning people have been Christians, because if they weren’t, they have had their heads chopped off. Galileo springs to mind.

          • Octavio

            St. Thomas Aquinas — beets and Cheese Whiz! I composed a 40-page diatribe against all things St. Thomas when I was an undergrad. The Western Civilization professor made tons of red pencil margin notes complimenting my research — then he gave me a C. Turned the same paper in for an assignment in a Bible as Literature class — got an A. And the professor of the Bible as Literature class was a Jesuit priest. Go figure. :-/

          • ZhyKitty

            I have always found the Jesuits the most entertaining, as they so annoy all the other types of Catholics.
            On Free Republic, they are persona non grata.

          • 2karmanot

            Jesuits are the walkers of the Spectacle.

          • Bad Tom

            Jesuits are far from dumb. West Civ Profs, on the other hand…

          • 2karmanot

            Thank you, Aquinas could talk a snake out of his skin.

          • Bad Tom

            And he STILL got in trouble.

          • Langalf

            If you actually read through the history, Galileo was assailed mostly by the “scientists” of his day for his views on astronomy, not the Catholic Church. He had influential support from the church until he published some fairly snarky theological writings. It was more for that than his scientific viewpoint that he ended up under house arrest.

            Also, house arrest in a villa is hardly on par with “heads chopped off”.

          • 2karmanot

            There is nothing more holey that the glorious piety of circular reasoning. Rebecca is right.

  • MDB

    If MY faith as a gay man is any way a threat to yours, them most likely you really have no faith at all !!!!!

    • vorpal

      Total random aside: grooving on the new avatar, my dear MDB! =hugs=

      • MDB

        Thanks Vorpie! I love stained glass, so I created my new avatar using a photo from a decorative window in my Cathedral, then added my rainbow. All the Best to you and the husband unit, and your furry family 🙂

        • PLAINTOM

          Show off, you just got all dressed up for the new site. 🙂

          • Christopher

            I noticed a few people have updated their avatars as well, so I figured what the hell. New site, new pic. 😉

            Besides, the T.A.R.D.I.S. was starting to get stale.

        • Chucktech

          Stained glass and pipe organs! Love ’em!

    • Mcflyer54

      Just like if my marriage has any impact on yours then yours obviously isn’t of much value.

  • S1AMER

    I’m an atheist, but I sometimes indulge in fantasies about there being an afterlife, just so I can imagine Pat Robertson and his ilk will get their just desserts in everlasting hell.

    • jomicur

      There are no desserts in hell. Not even devil’s food cake.

      • MDB

        What, no flaming bananas ???

        • John P.

          Yumm… I had one last night!

        • douglas

          My banana was flaming once. The doctor gave me antibiotics.

          • ZhyKitty

            LOL

        • vorpal

          I carry a flaming banana with me everywhere I go.

      • Bonobo

        There is no hell so there won’t be dessert… unless someone brought some cake.

        • Bluto

          ..

        • ZhyKitty

          Please share with the group whatever it is that you’re smoking which brought on that bit of logic. We all want to play too! lol

      • 2karmanot

        Oh, I beg to differ there are donuts, Little Debbie’s, and Hostess Cupcakes.. Oh, excuse me, never mind, that was Wal*Mart.

      • David in Tucson

        No café del diablo?

    • Chucktech

      And, can you imagine the SHOCKED looks on their faces as Satan ushers them across the river Styx? “Hey, wait just a gosh darn minute!!!! God, what the fuck!!!”

      • ZhyKitty

        OMG! Was Charon fired? The man was already working for only two cents a ride…goddamn!

  • I thought “Road to Perdition” was a good movie.

    • John P.

      I think Meryl Streep won an Oscar for that one.

  • MattM

    I would rather go to a place where everyone’s on my team anyway. How can Heaven truly be a reward if you’re surrounded by bigots?

  • PLAINTOM

    Pat, return ALL the money you have received from people who do not follow the exact word of the bible to the letter and then we will talk.

    • Mcflyer54

      Sorry but that money is long gone. Old Pat lives pretty high on the hog and those donations aren’t coming in like they used to.

      • TampaDink

        He considers himself to be a man of humble means.
        Compared to Franklin Graham.

        • Mcflyer54

          Heck, if he wants to play that game why not compare himself to Donald Trump. Believe me Pat Robertson lives far better than his average donor and one heck of a lot better than had he remained a small town preacher. Graham can’t justify his $880,000 a year salary either so I’m not letting him off the hook. It was recently reported that his “ministry” (Franklin Graham Inc.) has a bankroll of over $125,000,000 – that just cash on hand, not real estate and other holdings. Somewhere in the bible there’s some stuff about men who chase gold and wealth … but I’m sure Frankie isn’t bothered by that.

          • TampaDink

            I’m sure that Frankie’s needles have enormous eyes….and his camels are extremely small.

          • Mcflyer54

            That may well be true. However, I personally would prefer to consider him nothing more than a snake oil salesman who knows he’s scamming innocent people out of their money.

          • TampaDink

            I think he knows very well what he’s doing….he simply craves their money & attention more than he cares about living an honest, decent life. This is a common theme in his line of work.

  • GayOldLady

    Pat Robertson is the same guy that advised a viewer that it was alright to divorce his wife who was suffering from Alzheimer’s because she was no longer capable of providing him with sex. Grifters gotta grift, grift, grift, grift, grift, grift.

    • And the coot told a child not to “get daddy in trouble with the police” for threatening their mother with a gun multiple times. Told the child to get mommy to talk to daddy about it. .. yep, Pat is evil personified.

    • Mcflyer54

      And told a physically and mentally abused woman that she had no right to complain because her husband was providing her with a place to live. What a piece of garbage is Mr. Robertson.

      • GayOldLady

        He’s a danger to those who listen to him and follow his advice.

    • Ted.OR

      And he announced that gays have rings infused with the AIDS virus, and to avoid shaking hands with a gay person. Because – you know – they will scratch you with the ring, and infect you with AIDS.

      He also advised a woman to forgive her husband for having sex with another woman, because, well, men are just that way. Sometimes they just can’t help themselves. In another case, he said it’s OK if her husband gets drunk and plays around with another guy. Because, well, he got drunk.

  • well, Hell sounds pretty rad!
    i mean, all the people in heaven are clearly child-molesting jeebus-freaks. ew…

    • MattM

      See you in Hell. I’ll save you a pool chair by the flaming river.

      • YAAAAS! btw, have you seen the evenings comedy lineup, every night in hell? it’s literally every funny comedian who ever was 😀 YAYY!

        • douglas

          And all the biggest divas will be performing nightly, the gogo boys will be gyrating to the beat and there will be an open bar.

          • Chucktech

            And talk about your mean cocktails! Straight from Hell’s pit!

          • vorpal

            I love a good jalapeño margarita served in a glass rimmed with brimstone!

          • ZhyKitty

            I do hope we’ll still get renewed, younger bodies in hell.
            I’ve not been able to stomach alcohol for years, and if I’m going to hell, I sure would love to be young enough and healthy enough to engage in all manner of debauchery again.

          • Chucktech

            Hey, there’s always pot smoking!

  • bkmn

    Judge others, lest ye be judged yourself…or something like that.

    • Chucktech

      Pffft! Where the fuck did you dig THAT one up??

  • You can get prepaid cards to Hell?
    What are the rates when compared to those who get a free ride via a donation plate?

  • Frederick

    Says the MOTHERFUCKER who has slaves digging up his blood diamonds!

    • Chucktech

      THAT IS COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO HOMOSEXUALS GOING TO HELL!!111!!!1

      • 2karmanot

        Not so dear, even in Hell accessories are everything!

    • grada3784

      He’ll get to take them with him, just to see them burn to carbon disulfide in hell.

  • AtticusP

    Hey, Pat!

  • bryan

    Love the sinner, hate the sin is not in the bible. And hating the ‘sin’, is still preaching hate.

  • oikos
    • MDB

      But, I only lied to you every OTHER day !!!

    • Anastasia Beaverhousen

      “And that man’s penis was this long!”

      • Joe in PA

        And you better get an up vote from every person who thought the same thing!

        • Anastasia Beaverhousen

          Thanks, honey…

        • clay

          what if we were thinking “donkey”?

          • Bad Tom

            You still have to upvote.

    • Mcflyer54

      Today’s lie will be about this big ….

    • oikos

      My favorite of all of Pat’s quotes. A friend of mine has this on a shirt.
      “Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

      • 2karmanot

        That works.

    • 2karmanot

      And Mr. Satan’s daemon sword was this long.

    • JCF

      “My stance had to be THIS WIDE!”

  • geoffalnutt

    Remember, Pat: “Sin is an imaginary disease invented to sell you an imaginary cure.” I’ve known this since I was 13. You’ll have to try something else.

    • Tor

      Are you kidding? It’s worked out very well for him.

  • Webslinger
    • vorpal

      No True Scotsman fallacy.

  • PLAINTOM

    I love their definition of sin. A sin is something someone else does.

    • Mcflyer54

      that offends me.

      • PLAINTOM

        🙂

  • Mcflyer54

    This senile old fool is nothing more than a joke – a bad joke but a joke none the less. If he wasn’t paying television stations to carry his program he’d have be off the air and long forgotten. And, even though those stations gladly accept his money, that all run a disclaimer prior to his show stating that “the views presented on this telecast do not represent those of this station or [whatever corporation owns} the station”. Sort of like running pizza ads and saying “we know their pizza is crap but we need the money”. Robertson will never die – God won’t take him and the Devil doesn’t want the competition.

  • Reality.Bites

    In completely unrelated news, the real estate market in heaven has crashed.

    • Mcflyer54

      gone to hell?

      • Joe in PA

        Bah dum bump!

  • Blake J Butler

    I’d love for a world with less religious influence in the world, especially politics. These pricks treat people like shit in name of their beliefs, even going as far as murdering people because of who they were, all because they believe some sky-fairy told them to commit such acts. If someone actually does something considered christian, by treating people as human beings, leaving them be, and actually helping people, they are considered communist and not Christian.

    Pat, should have been locked away in a padded cell room years ago, instead of the gay people they institutionalized back in the 20th century to try to “cure” them of their “problem”.

    If treating people like human beings, involves me going to hell, along with me going to hell for loving a man, than go ahead and save me a seat Pat.

  • Anastasia Beaverhousen

    Is that a Crosby/Hope movie? “We’re off on the road to Perdition.”

    • TampaDink

      If so, clearly it was forgettable. Kind of like Pat Robertson.

    • JCF

      “…hang on till the end of the ride!” (In Bed)

  • Rebecca Gardner

    Oh Pat, there are so many abominations in the BuyBull, including your haircut.

    http://www.openbible.info/topics/abomination

  • Brian G

    And the Church wonders why more and more people are leaving in droves OR are going to more accepting Churches to worship.

  • clay

    Pat Roberston, the GOP front-runner 28 years ago this month.

  • Stev84

    I seriously doubt any of those questions are real. Yeah, some of them are credible, but he probably writes all of them himself.

    • Ted.OR

      He doesn’t need to spend time writing them. That is probably an assignment for the “interns” at his Regent “University”.

      That said, hubby and I watch Pat every day we can (strictly for laughs). We have both known enough Krazy Kristians to know that there are millions of people who can come up with these questions on their own.

      One recent example: “If I take out a loan, do I need to tithe on that money?” Pat’s answer, surprisingly, was “No, you don’t have to.”

  • MikeBx2

    “I was shocked that the pastor was openly gay…”

    These people preferred the good old days when pastors were secretly gay. :/

    • Chucktech

      Those days are FAR from gone. Especially in the Catholic Church.

  • Michael Rush

    more hellbound persons …

    for·ni·cate
    ˈfôrniˌkāt/
    verb
    formal humorous
    (of two people not married to each other) have sexual intercourse.

    that just about covers everyone .
    quick leave the church before you are bound by its rules !!!

  • PLAINTOM

    Does anyone else find it amusing that these good ” Christians ” always cite the old testament or Paul when attacking us but never cite ( I don’t know ) Christ ? it just seems to me, the followers of Christ would follow the word of Christ.

    • Michael Rush

      What Would Bigots Do ?

  • HZ81

    Thanks, Pat. Die already — I mean, bye already.

  • olandp

    The good old, “love the sinner” canard. That one never seems to get old.

  • Marc

    An eternity without that doddering old fool doesn’t sound too hellish.

  • Greg B.

    You’ll be there long before I am, asshole.

  • StraightGrandmother

    The road to Perdition!
    Be afraid be very afraid. (scary music playing in background)

  • StraightGrandmother

    Another clip from Right Wing Watch.
    I wonder whose job it is at Right Wing Watch to watch TV and listen to these shows to find & record the “gotchas?”
    I think that job would start off okay but after a while kind of grate on you having to listen to that right wing Christian crap all day long.

    • Chucktech

      Probably has a high turnover rate.

      • LonelyLiberal

        Mood stabilizers and alcohol would get them through, but eventually your liver tests don’t look so good and you have to be moved to something less stressful.

    • JCF

      Just like the staff FOX-watchers that Jon Stewart showed on his last Daily Show: they (unlike Megyn Kelly!) actually have blood pouring from their eyes. }-X…

    • Reality.Bites

      In Ontario, film classification (G, PG, etc) is a government responsibility, not film producers. This means that in addition to mainstream movies, people have to sit and watch every second of porn movies that are available on DVD or in theatres.

      I’m not sure which job you’d find worse!

  • Orion Dumptee

    who let this doddering old piece of TRASH out of his steamer trunk? I’d reccomend 5 qrts of naphthalene crystals, but vid shows the MOTHS allready have the upper hand….

  • Octavio

    Fun christain anecdote. We were at a nice little B&B at Las Lenas last week getting in a bit of skiing and some snuggling during the cold winter nights. We ran into a couple of ‘Merikuhn JWs — young newlyweds. They glommed onto me because I spoke good old fashioned ‘Merikuhn Eeeenglish. Flies on a gut wagon would have been easier to get rid of. Friday night they complained over dinner how they would miss going to church on Saturday (they’re JW’s, remember). I suggested they could get the concierge to find out if there was a Kingdom Hall somewhere in the area. Next morning they piled into a private Remise to attend church. Later Saturday night they moved in on El Squeeze and me all in a big huff. Turns out the concierge (devout catlick) assumed mormons and JWs are the same thing and had their Remise take them 50 kilometers to the nearest mormon church. Not only did they miss out on their worship service and get insulted by the concierge, they missed out on a great day of skiing, too.They were also out of pocket about $100. Sometimes life just falls perfectly into place and is good.* 🙂

    *This is the second time in my grey little life that I’ve had the pleasure of setting up perky JWs spreading jeebuzz abroad. 🙂 🙂

    • Chucktech

      Ha. Tough shit. Must suck for them.

      BTW, you and El Squeeze must be truly friendly, good hearted people. Once I knew what the fuck these deluded clowns were, believe me, they’d soon cut a wide swath to avoid me.

      • Octavio

        Years ago I was often confronted by them as I waited for a city bus to whisk me away to work. Even with a whole pot of coffee in me I couldn’t control my anger at their arrogance about insisting to shout at me regarding jeebuzz. I finally resorted to confronting them (at 7:00 AM on freezing bitter mornings) and saying, “Satan loves you. Do you know that? Satan has plans for you.” They invariably turned pale and backed away from me. It’s a good thing I don’t believe in either heaven or hell, or I’d be screwed. 😛

        • LonelyLiberal

          Even in a Goddy sort of Universe, I believe that the High Powers forgive explosions made before 8 AM. It’s just too friggin’ early to put up with much crap.

          • BudClark

            I say ONE WORD to The Filial Unit every morning:

            “COFFEE!”

            He knows until that command is fulfilled, he’d best tiptoe around and NOT DROP A FUCKING IRON FRYING PAN ON THE CONCRETE KITCHEN FLOOR! (chuckle).

          • LonelyLiberal

            “Coffee, black!” –Captain Kathryn Janeway

        • gaymex

          Well, I’m depressed.
          Sounds like you guys had a good time…skiing? I’m threatening to throw blocks of ice in the pool so I can stand it.

          • Octavio

            Las Leñas is very nice. The resort is 20 minutes from any established hotels or pueblos. Lots of dry powder (just like Alta, Utah). And there are bunches of lifts and runs — it is the biggest ski resort in South America. And steep, too. Highest lift drops you off at 11,300 feet from which it is all down hill. And the Province of Mendoza is quite sublime. Not much happening. No giant population or crowds. No lift lines. But a day pass costs the equivalent of $90 US. We bought a ski package that included four all-day passes. And the WiFi in our room was way fast. I plan on going back at least two more times before mid September when they usually close everything down. 🙂

      • LonelyLiberal

        Ditto. Most don’t spend more than a few seconds in my presence.

    • LonelyLiberal

      So why were they huffy with you? They’re the ones who didn’t specify exactly what they were looking for, and the concierge was the one who made the mistake. You simply offered a sensible suggestion.

      • Octavio

        They weren’t necessarily huffy with me. They were just all in a huff. Like people who complain they had to sit 30 minutes on the tarmac in a plane while the runway is cleared of snow for a safe takeoff. The idea they’re in a plane and going to fly at 34 thousand feet for four hours to get from NYC to LA doesn’t make them grateful they’re alive in the 21st Century. They never stop to think that in 1840 the same trip would take them five to six months — if they actually made it across the continent. (I’ve been watching a lot of Louis CK on the comedy channel web site) 🙂

        • Chucktech

          >Sigh…< "Why haven't they invented the transporter yet, like on Star Trekk?"

          • ZhyKitty

            Oh god, yes please.
            I was 2 hours in the car yesterday and can hardly walk today from it. Travel is really hard on people with severe arthritis.
            A transporter would be so nice.

          • Reality.Bites

            I was going to reply, then I decided to quote instead:

            Sheldon Cooper: Here’s the problem with teleportation.

            Leonard Hofstadter: Lay it on me.

            Sheldon Cooper: Assuming a device could be invented, which would identify the quantum state of matter of an individual in one location and transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly, you would not have actually transported the individual; you would have destroyed him in one location and recreated him in another.

            Leonard Hofstadter: How about that.

            Sheldon Cooper: Personally, I would never use a transporter, because the original Sheldon would have to be disintegrated in order to create a new Sheldon.

            Leonard Hofstadter: Would the new Sheldon be in any way an improvement on the old Sheldon?

            Sheldon Cooper: No, he would be exactly the same.

            Leonard Hofstadter: That is a problem.

            Back to me:

            Now to put it into perspective, our current technology doesn’t allow us to take some ground beef and turn it back into a steak. A transporter would have to take that hamburger and turn it back into a mooing cow. Such technology is pretty much beyond our imagination in terms of how it would actually work. But if we had such technology, mere transportation would be a party trick.

            And finally…

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ro_QpDJX-Sk

            (I see MDB posted the video while I was typing my post. No need to watch it twice.)

          • BudClark

            Even in an electric wheelchair on the bus, having to go even a short distance puts me in bed for 2-3 days. My podiatrist yelled at me for not coming in often enough. I told him to get stuffed.

          • Veylon

            You know that they’d complain about that, too. “Are you still looking at those safety readouts? Just push the button already!”

          • MDB

            Except for this. (I hate when this happens.)

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ro_QpDJX-Sk

          • grada3784

            That’s only available for use in avoiding the birth canal.

        • LonelyLiberal

          “You have died of dysentery.”

        • madknits

          Donner Party. Table for one!

    • gaymex

      Bless you my son…”flies on a gut wagon”

  • Max_1

    You know that you have created God in your own image when your God hates the same people you do…

  • Tom (Winnipeg)

    If “heaven” is that place where Robertson, Graham, Phelps, Osteen and a host of other shit-crazy fundamentalists are planning to spend their eternal retirement, then for the gods’ sake keep me away.

  • Unfortunately for dear old Pat, if one assumes that the Christian mythos has any validity, it will be such a surprise to see his face on the Day of Judgment as described in Mt. 25., when he finds out that he has been “numbered among the goats” and is to be cast into the “lake of fire.”

    Pat’s problem is that he really does not comprehend or properly interpret his own sacred scriptures, and he is not only leading himself astray, but also all those people on whom he has an influence. There would be a particularly hot place in that lake reserved for him.

    • zhera

      He doesn’t believe in Heaven and Hell. If he did he would live his life quite differently.

    • BudClark

      “When the wicked are confounded,
      Doomed to flames of woe unbounded,
      Call me with thy Saints surrounded.

      With thy favoured sheep O place me,
      Nor among the goats abase me,
      But to thy right hand upraise me.”

      Dies irae,, attr. Thomas of Celano, OFM, 11th cent. A.D.

  • It is very important to the anti-gay activists to defend the anti-gay ideology in the church and they view churches that don’t follow this as the biggest threat. The very fact that they are even having these conversations makes them nervous.

  • Mark McGovern

    He is a senile old prick who deserves little attention and less notice.

    • Bad Tom

      Unfortunately, he has a TV channel. Guaranteed by contractual agreement.

      • Mark McGovern

        Correction: He is a senile old prick with a podium who deserves little attention and less notice. With every passing year he is on air, his extremism drives away more and more of the youth that would otherwise have become disciples of his failed interpretation of religion. He has money and power but is creating a legacy such that one day his descendants will be shamed by association with him. I find him quite to be quite a sad and pathetic fellow.

  • Okay, I’m just gonna say it: Pat, go fuck yourself. Seriously.

    • Ben in Oakland

      Wouldn’t that be kinda, and my kinda, I mean VERY, gay?

      • Bad Tom

        Yeah!

  • Chris Larosa

    All the PR haters should realize that Pat ain’t alone in this. He is just one among a huge host of well-known pasturds and ‘ministry leaders’ that declare the same ridiculous biblically baseless drivel. Like everything else, if picking and choosing doesn’t fit your bigoted agenda – then just make shit up! It’s bad enough these bozos misuse scripture to blanket condemn gays, but to declare Christian straight allies will burn as well is non-biblical and a mockery of the gospel as stated. This ‘guilty by association’ hysteria should be squelched by general Christians, but because so much of Western evangelicalism is rooted in fear and superstition, there’s few in that community that have the cojones to stand up and call it out. Shut up and color!

  • Puckfair52

    Pat Is going to hell because he doesn’t accept the one true Catholic Church

    • BudClark

      He says my beloved Episcopal Church is the “Synagogue of Satan.”

      WE’D even let YOU in, Patty, as long as you behave yourself and genuflect at all the right places.

      Of course, once down on her knees, it might be a mite … HARD … to get her up again!

  • Ronald Reagan is Dead!
    • 2karmanot

      ps. do you have that devil’s phone number?

  • Balderdashing

    So hell will be a more loving place than heaven—how ironic.

  • Bob Black

    Pat Robertson HATES my church. I wear that like a badge of honor.

    http://www.ucc.org/news_california_church_helps_lgbt_refugees_from_uganda_find_safety_peace_07312015

  • Kissmagrits

    Has any of you noticed that Crazy Pat’s suit is looser, his jowls sagging more, his ear flaps going all Dumbo on him and his speech losing clarity? Look into his eyes and you’ll see the fire seems about to go out.

    As for Pat’s far flung scams, his son Gordon doesn’t seem up to the task. Say buh bye, Pat!

    • Ted.OR

      Gordon is a wuss compared to Pat. I don’t see how he will be able to take over.

    • Bradford Kelly

      I noticed the same thing. He’s also slumped further and further over and his speech is getting slower. He can’t have too many more shows in him. I look forward to the show that starts with “Pat is unwell and won’t be hosting today” and then he never comes back.

      Rot in hell Pat.

      Tick Tock

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        It’ll be like the passing of a third-world dictator or a pope (but I repeat myself): He’ll be dead for three months before they announce that he’s been feeling a bit under the weather.

    • BudClark

      “It” conceived a SON?

      Must have been Diabolical Conception.

      Have to look in the Catty-KKKism.

  • Rocketeer500

    Everyone of his shows should have a disclaimer before and after.

    Disclaimer: These are only the opinions of Pat Robertson. They in no way should be taken for Psychiatric Advice.

    Someone should sue the pants off of him. He’s providing counseling without a license.

    • Christopher

      Actually, they do have a disclaimer.

      “The preceding CBN telecast does not reflect the views of ABC Family.”

      • Reality.Bites

        Funny how they don’t have that disclaimer in front of shows like the Fosters.

        https://youtu.be/vEjq0_1vLrM?t=1m51s

        https://youtu.be/uVflpLWFCtA?t=1m33s

      • Ted.OR

        And the other stations that carry him (we have at least three local stations that show “The 700 Club” during the day, and they are not “Jeezus channels”), also have a disclaimer at the beginning:

        “The following is a paid advertisement and may not reflect the views of the station management.”

    • gaymex

      He would call himself a christian counselor. Who needs a license when you have the bible?

    • BudClark

      I do NOT want to see Aunt Patty-Melt without her bloomers!

      Please!

  • anne marie in philly

    all of us who love our neighbor as ourselves cannot possibly go to a fictitious place, so we might as well stay right here and love one another! STFU, you old fossil!

  • joe ho
  • Goodboy

    The bible is very specific about eating shellfish too you shithead

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      Pat Robertson is very specific about loving shellfish and hating queers.

  • Ginger Snap

    I don’t know about anyone else but I’m going to end up fertilizing the earth somehow and turning into free atoms again.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      and those atoms will become gorgeous ginger blossoms.

  • marshlc

    Jesus never said a word about gays, but specifically forbade divorce. Where do you stand on divorce, Pat?

    • BudClark

      “Oh, that was due to cultural context.”

  • Bob Black
  • ExGayTherapyKills

    Thanks to these sick and evil haters they have made life on earth a living hell.

    • BudClark

      There IS a Hell, and a Purgatory.

      We’re living in it NOW!

  • LarryChemEngr

    Good, If I’m going to Hell, I can have lunch with Joan Crawford.

  • kaydenpat

    I guess a whole lot of us are going to hell then. Sounds like it will be a better place without the likes of Pat Robertson.

  • houstonray

    Trust and believe Pat…if there is a Hell, you are well on your way for the hatred and vile things you have spewed out of your mouth for all of your life.

    Bring a fan Pat, bring a fan!

    • BudClark

      Now I’m going to be singing “Bring A (Fan), Jeanette, Isabella” for the rest of the day …

  • BudClark

    Aunt Patty-Melt is a KKKrack Whore For KKKhrist (h/t to my landlord Michael).

  • Sporkfighter

    “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.”

  • William

    Has Pat been freebasing Geritol again?

  • Mark

    “Ye shall not judge”……but we’re sure as hell gonna tell you what is right and what is wrong…..and our address for a little remittance…