G Is For Google, A Is For Alphabet – Google’s New Parent

Huge news from the tech world today. Via TechCrunch:

Google just rocked the world with some light news on a Monday. It has restructured the company and everything will now report up to “Alphabet” a new corporate name. That includes Google, which will now be CEO’d by Sundar Pichai (one less Twitter candidate?). Its site? https://abc.xyz/. The CEO of Alphabet will be Google CEO and co-founder Larry Page. While some things will be shuffling around, YouTube will remain under Google. The stock will be changing over from Google to Alphabet, but still trading under Googl and Goog (which were set up after its stock split). The company says this will allow them to focus on Google as a product even more than before.

Larry Page has written a lengthy post for Google’s corporate blog. An excerpt:

Sergey and I are seriously in the business of starting new things. Alphabet will also include our X lab, which incubates new efforts like Wing, our drone delivery effort. We are also stoked about growing our investment arms, Ventures and Capital, as part of this new structure. For Sergey and me this is a very exciting new chapter in the life of Google — the birth of Alphabet. We liked the name Alphabet because it means a collection of letters that represent language, one of humanity’s most important innovations, and is the core of how we index with Google search! We also like that it means alpha-bet (Alpha is investment return above benchmark), which we strive for! I should add that we are not intending for this to be a big consumer brand with related products–the whole point is that Alphabet companies should have independence and develop their own brands.

  • Eebadee-eebadee-thatsallfolks

    How can a brand new company own one of the biggest companies in the world? This must have something to do with taxes and reporting profits.

    • William

      The new parent company iis probably based in the Caymans or Aruba.

      • johncAtl

        I would like to be based in either of those places.

        • William

          I wish I could afford a reason to be based in either location.

    • perversatile

      next board meeting-
      I keep hearing big buzz about
      “Oxygen”
      does anyone have an in on this?
      Is it being traded publically,
      we need to get on this Now!
      Is it too soon to start considering-
      the possibilities
      of proctoring
      some serious rebranding strategies?
      I ‘d like to see the same big market gains
      like we generated last quarter
      on the letter “zed”

  • PLAINTOM

    Do I google Alphabet or alphabet Google ? I guess they will post a video on YouTube to explain.

    • Duh-David

      If I google youtube, will you twitter myspace?

      • Lumpy Gaga

        “If you google google, you’ll break the Internet.”

  • NZArtist

    Do I now have to pay a royalty on every letter of the alphabet I use?
    That’s okay – w3 c4n r3duc3 0ur l1c3n51n6 c0575 by 5p34k1n6 1n l337

    • bkmn

      D* *t th* *MM w*y.

      • Jeff

        This is hilarious, but it hurts my head to try to envision the words.

      • ZhyKitty

        LMAO No, omg,,,no.
        I don’t want to join their sick, prudish, little club!

    • Sam_Handwich

      570p 7h47

      • 2karmanot

        15k

      • Sk3ptic

        17 hur75 my 3y35 70 r34d. 6r347 f0r p455w0rd5 7h0u6h!

        • John30013

          4c7u411y n07, 5inc3 m057 p455w0rd5 cr4ck3r5 41r34dy h4v3 7h3 l337 5p311in95 in 7h3ir dic7i0n4ri35.

          • Sk3ptic

            Which is why you use l337 with long acronyms, not words. Duh.

          • ZhyKitty

            You have my eyes pouring water.
            I can read it only because I was a 20 something when it was popular, but lawd, now my eyes are 43 and were never good to begin with. I’ll have to stuff cotton in the corners of my bifocals to catch the tears. lol

          • John30013

            Might work as long as the acronym doesn’t have any actual “words” in it. One of our systems at work is so stringent that even if you generate a random string of letters & numbers, it will reject it if there’s an embedded “word” (l337 spelling or not) in it.

          • Sk3ptic

            Yes, as of now, the strongest passwords are alphanumeric with capitalized letters and special characters. I don’t know what the next wave will be…some sort of biometric that isn’t easy to lift (like fingerprints) I suppose.

          • ZhyKitty

            True.

      • Michael Rush

        IMNDLF8R

    • DaddyRay

      We aren’t 1D10T5

    • ZhyKitty

      Do the younger folks even remember leet? LOL
      I’m embarrassed that I do.

  • bkmn

    If Alphabet is wise they will not threaten to shut down all the porn sites on blogspot again.

  • Cuberly

    Ugh. Trying to stifle the vomit after reading that corporate-speak non-“rationale” as to what the change is even for.

    http://www.panicmanual.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/alpha.jpg

    • Nick in Pasadena

      It was fun to try and guess the corporations for each letter, and I think I mostly did okay. But some are not the first letter, right? (The “R” looks like the one in Oracle’s logo.)

      • johncAtl

        I can identify 21 of them, but I can’t remember who the “R” is. And it’s making me crazy because I’ve seen the logo.

        And I know the “R” isn’t Oracle since I work for the partial logo that is Oracle’s biggest competitor.

    • NZArtist

      Y’know for a while there I was trying to read that left-to-right; what the fuck is he on about??

      • Cuberly

        Ha!

      • JW Swift

        Thank goodness I wasn’t the only one.

      • Terry Teeter

        Thought it was just me.

  • another_steve

    I will be assimilated. It’s just a matter of time.

    I want to dress properly for it, though.

    Is there a proper attire?

    • William

      You have to look really good in Spandex.

      • Bad Tom

        Uh, oh.

        • William

          Yep, I’m out.

      • John30013

        And it facilitates cultural acceptance if you have Jeri Ryan’s boobies.
        http://oyster.ignimgs.com/wordpress/write.ign.com/5126/2013/12/seven-of-nine.jpg

        • another_steve

          Ohmigod… Are those her real boobies??? They’re very impressive.

          As I age I find that I’m developing rather impressive boobies myself. I think what’s happening is that the male body infrastructure is starting to fail and the supporting muscular and skeletal structures are collapsing. Resulting in boobies.

          But it’s okay.

          I like to play with my boobies, and my husband seems okay with them too.

          • John30013

            I cannot vouch for their veracity, but they seem very voluptuous.

        • delk

          Her ex had to drop out of the Illinois Senate race after details of their sex life became public.

          With him out of the way Obama won that seat.

          • John30013

            OMG, I forgot about that!

          • another_steve

            Yes yes yes… and the DETAILS please!

            (Or at least a juicy link.)

          • jutta
          • William

            Has Obama ever thanked the Borg collective for helping him be elected?

        • LonelyLiberal

          Seven of Nine my ass. Two of Thirty-Six is more like it.

          Or Catsuit of Nine.

          • John30013

            Dammit! You made me laugh out loud on a conference call!

          • LonelyLiberal

            Sorry. Maybe you can tell them you have Pseudobulbar Affect?

    • David in Tucson

      Skin is always good.

    • 2amor

      Cocktail attire always works, something black, thigh high?

  • Circle Thomas

    Google is the new Microsoft, just as a leaner, meaner Microsoft is starting to look like the new Apple.

    • johncAtl

      Actually with Windows 10 Microsoft is looking a little like Google – in a bad way.

      http://www.newsweek.com/windows-10-recording-users-every-move-358952

      • LonelyLiberal

        It’s OK, the operating system required reinstallation of my sound system at every boot, my nVidia drivers kept crashing, File Recovery psychotically backed up multiple copies of unchanged files, and the OS itself was unattractive compared to Windows 7 and Windows 8.1 (which I rather liked, actually, as my mother has it). For now, I’m back in Windows 7 and staying there for the foreseeable future.

        • johncAtl

          I put in the preview version of Windows 10 and after several updates it installed one that killed my computer. All it would do was endlessly restart. So I guess it’s lucky that I had a second bootable hard drive in the PC with a Linux operating system so I could recover the data, and then reinstall Windows 7.

          • LonelyLiberal

            Well, a preview version is not likely to be a hundred percent stable. I didn’t have any problems with the release upgrade version, although it did install the 32-bit version (I could go 64 at this point, the 32 was just inheriting operating systems via upgrades).

            I do have to say, if this was supposed to be the end all, be all version of Windows they were advertising, they failed miserably. Hardware, even older hardware, shouldn’t be that glitchy. Mine is very mainstream stuff.

            The live tiles? Amusing, but to only have them on the Start menu makes very little sense. They have no desktop integration. I get that there were apparently “security issues” with the Desktop Gadgets in 7.0. So figure it out and integrate the live tile technology. Or, you know, maybe restrict the gadgets to things that have been approved.

            The font mix was a nightmare. Some things were clear, others were blurry. If I can’t read a message box, I’m not happy.

            And when I can’t tell which window is active at a glance, there’s a problem. White on white is not my idea of a good color-coded interface (I personally use blue for active windows, a pale, dull purple for inactive ones).

            Graphically, what a huge step backward as well. I’m not asking for my Aero Glass (although I personally happen to like it), I’m just asking for something that doesn’t look like Windows 3.1. I moved past a 16 color CGA card twenty years ago.

            Let’s not even go into Cortana.

          • johncAtl

            LOL!

            I’m with you one hundred percent. Well maybe 101%, since I’m using a MacBook Pro to type this. I have Windows 7 installed here also under VMware, but the only app that I use that in any way keeps me tied to MIcrosoft is Office because I have to share files with others.

            And a disclaimer… I work for a Microsoft competitor and I take great joy watching them fail. And they’ve become so good at it. They lose money on every Xbox they sell. And they can’t give away their phones. And in my particular area of interest – selling data center software to large corporations, they almost never come up in in discussions anymore.

          • LonelyLiberal

            I’m a Windows programmer (or was), but have no great love or hate for them. Mind you, I’m not a hundred percent on Apple either. The OS is kind of impenetrable when trying to diagnose a problem and maintenance is difficult. Contrary to popular opinion, things go wrong just as often as they do with Windows.

            I avoid most smart phones due to the small screens and poor visuals. I can handle my husband’s iPod, but I can’t say I like it.

            At heart, I’m really rather low-tech in my personal life. Computer, yes. Things beeping at me, no. Technology gets evaluated for how intrusive it is, ease of use, and comparative usefulness to me. So robotic lawnmower, sure. Beepy, annoying phone, no.

          • Ginger Snap

            So I guess I should stick with windows 7 and not update my laptop to 10 then.I think I’ll update my surface though as I don’t really do much on my tablet.

          • johncAtl

            That is my plan as long as Windows 7 stays in service. Microsoft got everything right with Windows 7, and then blew it with Windows 8. My impression of 10 is that it isn’t much better than 8.

            On a tablet going to 10 probably makes sense. The Metro interface was designed for touchscreen devices. Microsoft should have learned from Apple – have different operating systems on desktops/laptops versus mobile devices.

      • Sam

        This is just another case of Windows as “the angry black man of tech journalism”. That article is just one of hundreds put out about Windows 10 to scare up clicks. Apple, and Google, and Facebook have been doing far worse for years. I’ve stopped counting the number of people who cry to me about privacy concerns with Windows 10 and then praise Google as their savior because they don’t know any better.

        https://www.petri.com/windows-10-privacy-concerns-are-overblown-but-perception-matters

        • johncAtl

          I don’t praise any of them. I understand with Google and Facebook that mining and selling their user’s information is how they make money. If you’re not paying for a service then you’re the product being sold and not the customer.

          And if Microsoft was collecting data in email, browser, Bing, etc. it wouldn’t be a problem. But to imbed so much data collection into an operating system is in my opinion unacceptable. Windows 7 will be the last version of a Microsoft operating system that I ever use.

        • Joe

          Mobile app developer for Android and iOS here.

          Apple has very minimal privacy invasions comparatively. Apple products do very little “phoning home” and Apple doesn’t really have much reason to care about the data as they make almost all of their profit off hardware sales. Apple also now encrypts every device and they don’t have the private key required to unlock it (so they say, but I’m not sure how they even would).

          For instance, Siri’s intelligence features are all processed on the device itself, and crypto features like Touch ID are handled entirely by hardware. Apple is also very strict about what data you can collect about users and everything possibly invasive on iOS requires users to explicitly consent for each app (e.g. “Facebook would like to access your contacts. Allow?”)

          This is actually quite annoying as a developer because we can’t even get things like a consistent device ID. It changes every time you install an app to keep apps from tracking users.

          Android on the other hand… apps can pretty much do whatever the hell they want to and Google (or Alphabet) makes no secret of the extensive data they collect about you.

          • Sam

            Agreed that Apple probably doesn’t generally fall in the “far worse” category with Google and Facebook. I’m probably more concerned with the blind faith that users tend have when it comes to all things Apple. Everyone knows not to trust Facebook, but use it anyway. Google may make no secret of their data collecting, but most not-tech users I encounter remain oblivious to these practices.

          • robirob

            “Everyone knows not to trust Facebook, but use it anyway.”

            Social media groomed its users to show off, uhm, I mean, share and a share some more until it becomes oversharing. People who share so much no longer care care about privacy, because being a private person prevents you from going viral.

      • LonelyLiberal

        Don’t forget the file sharing…ON BY DEFAULT. So I get to spend bandwidth to update other Windows users because Microsoft can’t, apparently, afford the computers to keep the updates running smoothly.

        Not nice, Microsoft. Not nice at all.

        • Lumpy Gaga

          Well, If Microsoft is legitimizing a variant on Bittorrent, maybe the RIAA will grab a clue and stop writing “Dear John Bittorrtent..” letters.

  • Baltimatt

    Where the hell did this .xyz domain come from? It seemed more like an April Fool’s joke.

    • Rambie

      IKR?! I was waiting for the punchline then realized they are serious… /ugh/

    • John30013

      A couple years ago, ICANN (the org. that manages names on the Internet) started allowing any top-level domain to be created. All you need is a couple hundred thousand dollars to register it.

      • OrliJoe in Fla

        OK, let me look in that top drawer… be right back.

      • johncAtl

        So let’s get together and come up with a couple hundred thousand and register a.z, and then sell it to Jeff Bezos for ten million.

        • John30013

          Maybe “.a2z”. I think it’s got to be at least 3 characters. (And it wouldn’t surprise me if Bezos has beaten us to the punch….)

      • LonelyLiberal

        Let’s register “.JMG”! It can be the All Gay, All The Time extension!

        • John30013

          That would be cool. You got $200K for the registration fee?

          Maybe if Joe refused to cater gay weddings we could start a GoFundMe campaign to raise the money 🙂

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      Back when I was in high school, “xyz” was the code word for “your fly’s open.”

      • Ore Carmi

        Was there a particular reason for that?

        • octobercountry

          Can’t resist butting in —- XYZ means “eXamine Your Zipper”

          • Ore Carmi

            Ahh! Thanks!

        • 2guysnamedjoe

          It was mainly girls who used it; they were trying to be discreet, I guess.

  • Tor

    I’m shocked that the name “Alphabet” is not already in use.

  • William

    New Coke anyone?

    • 2amor

      Indeed!

  • Someone got a new hat!

  • Octavio

    I’m skeeered!

  • DutchBoy74

    I’m really interested in why they choose that name since Amazon’s logo is everything from A-Z, which literally is the Alphabet.

    “Drone Delivery Service”…also Amazon.

  • Mark

    While it is akin to getting the fleas off a dog with tweezers….I have done what I can to limit my ‘exposure’ to google. No chrome. No search. Even their update services within Win7 I have set to manual. They may make a great product – but they collect to much data for my liking. If I want to go into the forest and piss on a tree – it’s none of google’s business. And yes, I block tracking and anything else that wants to ride on my back. Even flash is manual.

    Hey – it’s as close I can get to being a rebel without a cause! 🙂

    • NZArtist

      Society *needs* to have law-breakers. Without them major social change is seriously impeded. It was only a few short decades ago that most of us were illegally having sex and relationships. Many of us break the law smoking marijuana, or in other ways.
      How would the future Preservation of Paper Books society flourish if data aggregation companies are using inference engines to work out you’re a book hoarder, and arresting everyone?
      On the bright side, I’ll probably be dead before it gets quite that invasive.

  • Adam Schmidt

    My read is that this is a really smart move. Google is right now known for three big things… search, Android, and YouTube. But at the same time they have other projects going on that have little to do with those three… self driving cars, drone delivery, low altitude satellites (blimps) providing Internet, and a lot more. Any one of these could become huge as in creates an entirely new industry kind of huge. But keeping them under Google confuses things and muddles their brand.

    So pushing all those odd projects out to Alphabet lets them keep Google good at what Google does and push those brands out under Alphabet where they can benefit from being associated with Google while not diluting the Google brand.

  • m_lp_ql_m

    “Alphabet” this succeeds as well as Google+.

  • People4Humanity
    • johncAtl

      Republican failures are never off topic.

    • LonelyLiberal

      Story titles never read: “Republican pays staffers out of pocket as campaign funds dwindle.”

      Nope, they always screw the little guys as hard as they can.

      • johncAtl

        Wait, I thought Rick was a bottom?

        Oh… now I need brain bleach. Stat!

        • William

          In two years, Perry will be divorced and living in California with a man.

      • William

        He’s probably looking for a way to bill the taxpayers of Texas one more time.

    • William

      My cats will be doing the happy dance with me, whether they want to or not.

      And, since I’m here, must I be the one to point out the story is credited to Dan Balz?

      Now If Rick would go and dry up in a corner.