Ben Shapiro On Jon Stewart

“While Stewart was undoubtedly talented – or rather, his writers were – Stewart also had the easiest job in media. He appeared nightly before an audience of simpletons, cued to laugh and cheer by his funny faces. He didn’t even need jokes: he could just run a clip from Fox News, any clip, and then screw his face up in his patented ‘I don’t get it, I must be stupid, no, actually, they’re stupid’ expression, raise his voice in incredulity, and then shrug. This had his trained seals rolling in the aisles. Jon Stewart without his live laugh track would be dead on arrival.” – Ben Shapiro, writing for Breitbart.

  • Carl

    Bitter. Party of one.

    • MarkOH

      Yeah, who wet his panty shield?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      “and get the booster seat from coat-check, wouldja, hun?”

      • Tom Kiley

        Little-known fact … Ben Shapiro is actually Ann Coulter’s 12-year-old son.

        • JW Swift

          …who hasn’t emotionally matured beyond age 6.

        • Ed Burrow

          That’s just… Wrong..

        • PLAINTOM

          Species of father indeterminate.

        • RaygunsGoZap

          She fathered a son?

          • Edd

            She’s a man, man! (read it in the voice of Austin Powers.)

          • SoCalVet

            watch out she’ll sue you! lol

        • Latté

          I thought he was Maggie Gallagher’s son? Did Ann and Maggie conceive Ben together? Is Ben the product of a journalistic marriage of secretly lesbian harridan-harpies?

          Or does he just have the intellect of curdled semen.

        • agcons

          His mother really is a jackal then.

        • Good Shot Green

          Miss Coulter has never been married; therefore, she must be a virgin.

        • Joseph Miceli

          So…that polyp on Ann’s throat was a Ben Shapiro bud? How many babies needed to be sucked dry to bring Ben to term…Oh! Wait! I got confused…baby’s blood is Dick Cheney. Ann eats corpses. Silly me!

        • Miji

          I think I saw a documentary about that. The details are a little fuzzy, but wasn’t she impregnated by a rottweiler, then abandoned the baby Benji with a priest in Italy. I think there are also be some troubling things in his juvie records.

          • perversatile

            and seven magickal turkey basters

      • Librarykid

        Speaking of seats, he couldn’t get a laugh with a whoopie cushion at a fart convention.

    • HadenoughBS

      Shapiro, gold member of the Rethuglican scowling class, calls Stewart’s audience “simpletons” and “trained seals”. Perhaps this not-as-bright-bart-as-he-hopes is mistaking Fox News viewers/Breitbart readers for “The Daily Show” audience. I do note he praised the show’s writers as “undoubtedly talented” so perhaps he can recognize editorial content superiority waaaay above his own sad whining talents.

      • If he scowls really hard for long enough he may one day know the achievement of growing his unibrow to look like Yishai Schlissel.

    • secretlab

      Truth: Benj’s the least humorous smear monger evah!

    • StSean

      you can almost smell the desire burning from him, can’t you?

      • JW Swift

        I thought something smelled in here. I just figured it was souring grapes.

      • David Walker

        I thought it was jealousy. Or envy. Or is it gin and regret?

        • perversatile

          or scotch and Vicodin

    • 2karmanot

      Make that closet of one.

  • tcinsf

    They just have to piss and moan and bitch about everything. what horrible, nasty, miserable lives they lead and seek to impose on the rest of us. (BTW… HE HAD A STUDIO AUDIENCE YA LITTLE TWIT!)

  • JW Swift

    I laugh just as hard at your shtick, Bubba, but in your case, I’m laughing AT you, not WITH you.

  • Trevor Brown

    Umm no dumbass. Intelligent people actually see right through your b.s. Furthermore they have the “nerve” to laugh at you.

  • BillTheCat45

    Butthurt Ben is just mad that history will remember Stewart, and not him.

    • Chucktech

      Ben who?? (See? It’s already starting to be over.)

  • ScottJL

    You wish you had as many viewers & fans as he does. Jealous little bitch.

    • barracks9

      Beyond jealous, methinks Bennie has a HUGE crush on Jon. It would make sense. This is “dipping pigtails in the inkwell” kind of stuff out of Shapiro.

      • TommyTune

        The fact that they’re both Jewish adds to that theory, I should think.

  • Nic Peterson

    Faux ‘news’ would be dead on arrival by adding news, oh, and taking out the racism, homophobia and all the pandering to a demographic that desperately needs to be reminded that their views are the right ones.

    Now what was that little shitstain griping about?

    • ben-andy

      Oh, I thought I recognized him. Been a while since I’ve seen any Santorum though.

  • Bad Tom

    SURE, Ben. It was the laugh track that kept Jon Stewart on the highly rated hysterically funny Daily Show for sixteen years.

    • Michael Rush

      whereas we were done with Ben Shapiro the first time we heard him speak .

      • danolgb

        I was done with him before I heard him speak. In fact I’ve never actually heard him speak.

        • Michael Rush

          most people got familiar with him calling Zoey Tur ” sir “

          • Octavio

            It’s his Mighty Mouse voice on helium. It’s annoying.

          • Bad Tom

            And then there’s what Ben says, which is doubly annoying.

          • Public_Man

            Zoey is a dude, Michael. Chromosomes and stuff.

          • RaygunsGoZap

            Zoey Tur is a woman. You can be as offensive and ignorant as you like. You can “stop voting for RINOs”. You can’t stop what’s coming – progress is going to steamroll you. Enjoy you’re embittered, fruitless life.

          • Lumpy Gaga

            I think Public_Man was riffing on Ben Shapiro’s contribution to comedy, as a student of “science”…

            [Edit: Whoops. Spoke too soon. Sorry, as you were….]

          • RaygunsGoZap

            I thought the same thing too! Thankfully he left his comments unlocked. 😝

          • Bad Tom

          • Tigernan Quinn

            Gender is a construct.

          • Public_Man

            That’s what all the girly men say, Tigger.

          • Joseph Miceli

            Pubic man is trolling. Boy, did HE come to the wrong place!

          • Public_Man

            Are you another dude pretending to be a chick, Joe? Can’t say I’m surprised.

          • Joseph Miceli

            Are you another sadistic, hate filled asshole trolling a gay blog for the sole purpose of inflicting pain so that you can feel a little pleasure? Did it work?
            Fuck off Pubic Man. Go buy some Cialis on the black market to get your little wee wee hard. No one here is hurt by your stupidity. We are smart enough to consider the source, Trash.

          • Public_Man

            Oh, you mad, bro? The ire of liberals is always amusing.

          • Joseph Miceli

            Mad? Of course not. Contemptuous? Yes, yes indeed. Very much so.

          • Sk3ptic

            Oh please tell us more about your knowledge of chromosomes, Public Man! I’m sure you can school us with all your study and experience! Gene regulation, epigenetics…stuff that has yet to be worked out fully and you seem to know it all!
            Start teaching, maestro!

          • Public_Man

            Lol, skeptic. Educate yourself and you won’t make a fool of yourself. As often. 🙂

          • Sk3ptic

            You win with your overwhelming willful ignorance.

          • Public_Man

            That would be “overwhelmingly,” genius. If you’re going to pose as an educated person do use proper grammar, sk3ptard.

          • SoCalVet

            lol…you just lost that round, grammar queen.

          • perversatile

            he gets the mould metal

          • Sk3ptic

            Let me help you with your moment of pseudo victory–apparently you were (or currently are) home schooled. “Overwhelming” refers to “ignorance” in this sentence, not “willful.” If you would say “overwhelmingly ignorance,” by all means, do so. Out loud, all the time. I’m sure it’ll help you get friends.
            It’s been interesting learning that not only are you stunted in logic and science, you will also never be an editor. That’s a relief.

          • perversatile

            Smart is Hot!

          • perversatile

            you should credit the source for that pithy rejoinder~ a sugar packet from the Cracker Barrel

          • Harley

            Yea, really. She should stop doing that unless she want to ride in an ambulance.

        • Steverino

          It sounds like the annoying whine of a mosquito, as one would expect.

      • Joseph Miceli

        Ben who? Stein? Stiller? What…Shapiro? Who the Hell is that?
        Jon Stewart? The guy who is an American treasure? HIM I know!

    • Friday

      Is there even one? Or is that just another Shapiro falsehood? 🙂

      • Bad Tom

        Good point. It might be the audience actually laughing.

        • Friday

          Well, they obviously *are,* since Shapiro thinks they’re ‘trained seals’ about it. 🙂

        • barrykyle415

          To his credit, he did say LIVE laugh track. Not that that makes him any less of an annoying dick.

          • TampaZeke

            “LIVE laugh track” is an oxymoron, but then again so is “informed conservative”.

          • JW Swift

            Or “reasonable conservative” or “empathetic conservative” (the list goes on…)

          • Steverino

            Or “conservative movement,” which sounds like a euphemism for constipation.

          • Bad Tom

            Certified wiggle room. Not much, but some.

    • Public_Man

      Yeah, Tom, on Comedy Central. Shapiro nailed it.

    • RaygunsGoZap

      Yes! And also had him poll as the most trusted voice in America.

    • Cuberly

      I never knew Shapiro could smile let alone laugh.

      http://thefederalistpapers.integratedmarket.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Screenshot-2014-06-11-19.31.41.jpg

      Be warned, stage 10 creepy smile alert.

      • Bad Tom

        Something awful must be happening for Ben to smile like that.

        • JT

          You don’t want to know what’s going on under the desk.

          • Steverino

            Whatever it is, he perfected the technique in his mother’s basement.

        • The turd clawed his asshole open and crawled back in.

        • perversatile

          I think it was
          ” I just cut a fart
          of such heinous proportions
          that it will
          leech all the oxygen
          from this localized environ “

    • vorpal

      Remember that far-right conservatives don’t understand laughter. They had to sacrifice the laughter and joy area of their brains to make room for more manufactured outrage and unjustified paranoia.

      • Public_Man

        That’s why Killary is such a happy person, amirite, vorp?

        • vorpal

          I don’t know anybody named “Killary.”
          Sorry.

    • JT

      That amazing laugh track that sounded so much like an audience having a riotous time.

    • Bill

      Yup. Cuz what network DOESN’T offer $50 million to a guy whose job is just to push a’ laugh’ button?

    • Emma Duncan

      It doesn’t help explain fox new’s sad attempts to copy the Daily show formula, complete with hyper laugh track.

  • Michael Rush

    can someone make sure Ben Shapiro stays on his medication ?

    • Chucktech

      No, no, he’s much more amusing this way…

    • lattebud

      Unfortunately, you are witnessing him on medication. Big Pharma has done some great stuff, but they can’t pull off miracles.

    • Sporkfighter

      Is there a medication for hate?

  • canoebum

    Jon Stewart, and his influence, will be written about in books of the history our period. You little Bennie, won’t even be a footnote.

    • David L. Caster

      Indeed. The fact that Americans had to get their news and commentary on a comedy channel will speak volumes. The fact that the reporting there was the most credible will speak libraries.

    • Jean-Marc in Canada

      He also helped with the first responders when they were being dicked over by you know who.

  • Soren456

    Shallow as a wading pool, Ben is.

    And just as dangerous.

    • David L. Caster

      Don’t know, I wouldn’t wander into that one with even the slightest abrasion on one of my feet.

    • TampaDink

      And equally full of kiddie urine.

      • Lumpy Gaga

        And slippery slime.

        • Sporkfighter

          Aye, he’s a floater.

        • TampaDink

          That too.

    • Steverino

      Perhaps Tommy Peters would have rather dived into him.

      • JW Swift

        I was wondering if someone was going to go there…

  • Chucktech

    Well, you’re right about one thing, little Benny. Stewart didn’t need jokes when all he had to do is just run a clip from Fox News, and yeah, pretty much any clip. They pretty much stand on their own for us in the reality-based community as black comedy, or gallows humor, or unmitigated, puerile, appallingly funny stupidity.

  • Little Benny wouldn’t know humor if it hit him in the unibrow with a special pie from Minny….metaphorically speaking, of course.

  • Octavio

    Benney Boy is obviously campaigning to be the new Grumpy Cat. 🙂

    • danolgb

      Grumpy Cat at least has a personality.

      • TampaDink

        And….like Jon Stewart, millions of people know who Grumpy Cat is….Ben is known by thousands (perhaps) and liked by possibly dozens.

        • danolgb

          I personally think that Grumpy Cat looks like the feline sister of Garrison Keillor and I expect her to regale me with stories of Lake Wobegon.

          • TampaDink

            Good catch. I’d never noticed the striking resemblance.

    • ben-andy

      A more popular persona than his by far. He really doesn’t have the whiskers for it.

      • Chucktech

        Yeah, peach fuzz just ain’t gonna cut it.

  • Michael Rush

    Ben Shapiro is like a lawyer whose only trick is to badger the witness . it gets old fast .

    • Steverino

      Nailed it.

    • GC

      “Objection! Counsel is badgering the witness!”
      “Your Honor, these papers certify that Rex here is actually a purebred wolverine.”
      “Objection overruled. You may proceed.”

  • BudClark

    Those who can, do; those who can’t, kvetch.

    He looks like one of the “Children of the Damned.”

    I WOULD like to spank his hairy arse, though .

    Hard.

    • Chucktech

      I’d like to watch. If I get at least a chubby, does that make me a bad person?

      • David L. Caster

        Nope.

        • Chucktech

          Oh, thank GOODness…

      • JW Swift

        No, but it might indicate somewhat questionable taste on your part (not so much for the kink, as the subject thereof).

      • Christopher

        Nope. It means that he was at least useful for something.

    • Brian J.

      Not with a stolen paddle, Bud.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      I couldn’t enjoy it because he might be.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      You can have Shapiro.

      I wants Ricky Velez from Willmore’s show. I actually paused and stared at his *skin* for about 5 minutes last night – then they showed his high-school graduation shirtless pic in the panel portion. Girl, I died.

      • JW Swift

        I surprised myself with that one, a bit. Wouldn’t have expected him to be my “type” but I must admit, I’d enjoy the hell out of having his head in my lap as I pet him like a kitten.

    • ben-andy

      It isn’t a punishment as you’d both enjoy it, Bud. Carry on.

    • ZhyKitty

      ROTFLMAO!!!!

      You know he reads this…and anything written about him.
      I wish I could see his face.. lololololol

      • vorpal

        Me too.
        It must drive him batters that Bud’s post gave him a hard on.

      • Christopher

        Well, if it’s true that he reads this site, then let me just say…

        Yeah, I’d hate fuck the little bastard!

        😉

    • TampaZeke

      He looks like Damien Omen in a yarmulke.

    • “Those who can, do; those who can’t, kvetch.”

      I’m so stealing that!

      Also, don’t be so mean. He hasn’t been able to get much work since playing Eddie Munster in the 60s. The biz is hard of former child stars!

  • Brian J.

    Ben really does have a point. After all, Jon’s job was much easier than Ben’s, because there’s no source of obvious, bigoted, ridiculous nonsense on the left the way Faux Noise provided Stewart with so much material. Ben knows people won’t laugh at liberals earnestly speaking reasonable hypotheses, so he’s left to his own nonexistent talents.

    (On the other hand, Stewart didn’t have Breitbart to fund his work regardless of quality.)

  • Lumpy Gaga

    DVR alert!!!

    Stewart warned last night that “Daily Show” finale will run long – Comcast says until 11:52 (?) – so if you’re using a VCR, gramps, better get a new T-120 and tape from 11 to 12…..

  • Hue-Man

    Does he not have access to the tubes of the Interwebs? Or are Jon Stewart’s writing credits on The Daily Show fraudulent? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_The_Daily_Show_writers

    • Chucktech

      No, he’s just merely a goddam liar.

    • Bad Tom

      If Jon Stewart said something, it’s likely true, quite possibly snarky.

      If Ben Shapiro said something, I’d double-check from independent sources, otherwise there is no way it’s true.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    DVR alert!!!

    Shapiro appearing tonight…. nowhere.

  • ben-andy

    And yet so much more influential on the hearts and minds of others than you, especially the young.

  • People4Humanity

    He has had this boner for Jon ever since he announced the final show.
    It took all his forbearance to not post it until today.

    http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Jon-Stewart-Yelling-Unacceptable.gif

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Took him this long to write it, moist likely.

      [Edit: typo left in because.. moist]

  • SLK in SF

    Twink has issues.

  • MikeBx2

    Wow, what an incredibly pathetic ‘I hate myself” rant. Poor Ben knows he’ll never be any more than he is right now and is he ever bitter about it.

  • HZ81

    Little bitch baggers like Ben sure got brave this week knowing Stewart won’t be around to respond.

    Wonder why that is?

    • Lumpy Gaga

      They’re worried that Willmore won’t give them the onscreen time they crave with every fiber?

    • Chucktech

      I think it’s called “cheap shooting.”

      • HZ81

        Speaking of cheap, I would love to kick this little shit’s ass — and I haven’t been in a physical fight in 20 years (I really deplore them.)

        In Ben’s case, however — who knows? I’d promise to tweeze his eyebrows first.

        • Chucktech

          You know, I’ll just bet he’d thank you, one day…

  • Jack

    No one looks good in jealousy.

  • ColdCountry

    Jealousy is so unattractive.

  • douglas

    Waaaah, Waaaah, Waaaah! Crabby baby says what?!!

  • Circ09

    I can’t look at that guy. I can’t read him. He is just too mean to be believed. Even Ann Coulter has schtick.

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    So rich coming from lil’ Ben Shapiro who has less talent and less humor than one of Stewart’s sloughed skin cells.

  • MDB

    Whereas we don’t need any laugh track to laugh at the histrionics of Ben Shapiro and his trained whining ‘sheeples’…… what buffoonery !!!!!

    http://i.ytimg.com/vi/0N4SF141XMs/hqdefault.jpg

  • TexPlant

    Tea bagger calling someone stupid, oh the insanity!

  • PeterC

    Ben, dear; you need some new writers (OR JUST A WRITER), as I just ROFL at your screed. Don’t you have ANY clue as to how stupid this is?

  • Mike in Texas

    No surprise that this grim little fellow has no sense of humor.

  • octobercountry

    Wow, why does he use such an evil-looking publicity photo? But anyway—nope, Ben, you’re COMPLETELY wrong here about Stewart; nothing you said has any bearing on reality. You’re just butt-hurt because John makes your side (rightly) look like idiots.

    • Schlukitz

      He’s striving for this look.

    • Mark
    • Mike in Texas

      His photo reminds me of Damien in The Omen.

    • Kruhn

      Well, JMG goes for the most unflattering photo possible, but his other photos are just as bad.

  • bkmn

    Bitter little princess.

  • Ramona Love

    when I was a Republican wannabe (eleven years ago!) I thought the same about Stewart.

    then I started watching him and what do you know?! he’s actually pretty fucking hilarious if you *get it*. I think Benny boy’s problem is that he himself is far too much of a simpleton to get *why* we laugh at the right.

    • People4Humanity

      “when I was a Republican wannabe (eleven years ago!)”
      We’re glad you snapped out of it.

      • Ramona Love

        I say “wannabe” because I was pretty much just playing along with dad.

        I was 14 and with no real world experience, so I had an excuse – unlike somebody. *glares at Ben*

        • Bad Tom

          At 14, you get a pass.
          At 24, or 34 (how old is Shapiro, anyway?) that time has passed.

          • Ramona Love

            the lil weasel is like 29 or some shit idk far too old to be in Republican la la land

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Yeah…..I went there…..No…..I won’t be apologizing.

  • Mark

    Benny seems to really like Gerber’s easy-to-spread jello-si and foul. Or maybe he just likes to stick his head in a lion’s mouth.

  • 3ringquercus

    Ooooo, SUH-NAP! Well done, you. Now go back to the kids’ table and stuff some more sour grapes into that sour little face of yours.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    I cannot think of a more sad human being than Ben Shapiro. I truly feel sorry for him. What happened to him that he should be so filled with vitriol at such a very very young age?

    I have been through Hell in my near 50 years. Thrown out of my house for being gay, mugged and thrown through a store window, homelessness, shot, victim of domestic violence, and various other hardships. I should be the bitter one, yet I wake up each day with a smile and I greet everyone with a warm welcoming hello. I just don’t understand what can make a person as hateful and mean as Ben Shapiro.

    • People4Humanity

      I love you. 💘

    • Lumpy Gaga

      I just don’t understand what can make a person as hateful and mean as Ben Shapiro.

      Unearned privilege.

      Because if it appears by “magic”, then it can disappear just as easily.

      • Michael

        “Unearned privilege.”

        And seizing the opportunity to cash in on other people’s hatred.

      • Sporkfighter

        I think you have something there. It would explain why so many older white people live with the fear of “losing their country”. They never understood what they had or how they got it, so seeing it slip away is bewildering.

        This country was built by slave and indentured labor for the first 250 years, by black sharecroppers and poverty-stricken immigrants for the next 100 on land and with resources taken from the indigenous people, with most of the proceeds going to white men. In many ways, this country has been run like a southern plantation, with the Master believing he built his fortune by himself.

        I know where my white male privilege came from and how it advantaged me. It’s about time to share the wealth. Let the women, the black, the brown have an equal share. I’ll pay more in a restaurant if the staff can afford to pat their rent. I’ll pay more in taxes if everyone has the health care my family does.

  • another_steve

    So here is my Ben Shapiro fantasy of Thursday, August 6, 2015.

    (These steps to be performed precisely in the order presented.)

    (1) I want him to slap my butt hard and then beg for forgiveness. Three times, in rapid succession. Then I want him to lick the wound.

    (2) I then want him to take the trash bag I hand him and walk out to the road.

    (3) I then want him to insert himself in the trash bag, lie down, and await the next scheduled garbage pickup.

  • LovesIrony

    Bennie and the pests

  • Dave B

    Ben is the poster child for the Dunning-Kruger effect.

  • Joe Shaw

    When Shapiro retires from being a hideous troll, no one will care.

    • Steverino

      Except for his boot lickers on BrainFart.

  • Steverino

    The train to the future left the station a long time ago, he missed it, so he’s going to spend the rest of his life on the platform railing against the train.

  • Gigi

    He’s still hard thinking about the time Zoey Tur squeezed his shoulder on national television.

    • Bad Tom

      Wasn’t even much of a squeeze.
      Didn’t hear much about the police case.
      Probably because it went nowhere.

  • Strepsi

    Watch out folks, Ben Shapiro is winding up his little face for another hissy fit!

    http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-10/29/14/enhanced/webdr04/anigif_original-grid-image-26699-1414606736-11.gif

  • RLK2

    Jealous much dude?

  • Ray Butlers

    She’s a mess.

    • Kate

      Really? the whole “call him female to insult him” bit is every bit as offensive to women as “call him gay to insult him” is to the gay community.

      • GC

        Even the implication that “a real man wouldn’t be such a jerk, but a woman might” is horribly offensive. And if an asshole is misgendered because it would offend them, it still perpetuates the idea that women are supposedly “less than”.

        We, of all people, seeking to live and love authentically without being confined by the traditional straight-and-narrow boxes of what “real women” and “real men” “should” be like (and that everyone “must” fit into one or the other), should know better.

  • Rex

    Simpletons? You mean there were republicans in the audience?
    Ben – what a brat.

  • Michael Hampton

    He really couldn’t sound any more like a petulant child upset that his brother got a bigger scoop of ice cream if he tried.

  • D. J.

    Out of hiding Little Benny? No comment on the Pride Attack? Very brave of you.

    • Bad Tom

      He’s smart enough to know that snarking about the Pride attack won’t sell.

  • Never Hear of HIm

    Yeah? If that’s the easiest job in media, why don’t YOU do it? Why CAN’T you do it? Are you not as intelligent as Jon Stewart? (We know you think your intellect is far superior.) Are you not as talented as Jon Stewart? (We know you think your ‘gifts’ are far superior.)

    If Jon Stewart never utters another work of comedic political commentary, his contributions to the public political dialogue DWARF anything you will ever do, as the Sun dwarfs a grain of sand.

    And Little Boy, you know that you would jump at the chance to go on Stewart’s show and be made a fool of. One wonders, though, if Stewart has even ever heard of you.

  • Jeffrey

    Ben Shapiro jerks off every night, and wipes it off with his Spider-Man jammies, imagining having half of the talent or influence of Jon Stewart.

    • LonelyLiberal

      Um. Ew.

  • Porkie

    ‘Cause the right wing are known for their comedy Gods….

  • Jmdintpa

    i thought i was a bitter jaded old hating life queen but this asswipe takes the cake. can you imagine the horror of his childhood. i bet he got his ass whipped regularly on the playground and then by his parents when he got home. the kids hated him the parents hated him and now he hates everything and everyone.

    • Octavio

      Plus, he’s always had sweaty hands and dirty fingernails.

  • Bob Conti

    Bitter, party of one!

  • Cuberly

    I don’t believe in a higher power, but, I’d like to thank the universe for not making me Ben Shapiro. (Or even like Ben Shapiro) Humorless, embittered and angry is no way to go through life.

    • Bad Tom

      Or even Ben Shapiro’s next door neighbor.
      Think what those poor slobs have to endure.

      • Cuberly

        Your leftist lawnmower is too loud.
        Your hydrangea bush has a leaf sticking over the fence onto my property.
        Your kids laugh and point at us as we leave the house every day.

        I heard your dog bark once at 10am on a Saturday. I’ll SUE!

        Makes you wonder if the man-boy has an off setting.

        • ALL his settings are off.

          • JW Swift

            Way, way off!

  • Chris Larosa

    Seriously. This picture of him says pretty much all that needs to be said.

  • Bill

    He says absolutely nothing about Jon Stewart here and absolutely EVERYTHING about himself.

    What a foolish boy. He will never be a man, this dude. Will always be a boy. He just doesn’t have the integrity for manhood.

  • TampaZeke

    I didn’t realize how much right-wingers hated John Stewart. I was at a restaurant today with a conservative acquaintance of mine and he was taking pictures of himself shooting the bird, at a picture of Stewart on the cover of a local news rag, and Tweeting it out to his friends. I laughed AT him, not with him.

  • Elsewhere1010

    Multi-year run, Emmys, a few thousands shows worth of “trained seals” in the audience, and millions more watching… stick with Breitbart, kiddo, it’s about as far as you’re ever going to get.

  • amboy00

    It must have been an easy job. So easy that Fox News tried it with their own version and it failed miserably. Dennis Miller tried it too as the conservative version of JS and also failed miserably.

  • bryan

    The only people who think it is easy to make people laugh are cynical miserablists like Shapiro.

  • LarryChemEngr

    Ben is projecting. He calls others stupid because that is the flaw in himself that he hates. Really not clear what the source of his superiority complex is; it certainly isn’t his intellect or writings.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Come September 8, I will no longer have the time in the day to watch all of Stewart’s comedy progeny on the idiot box: Colbert goes live on CBS, Willmore has turned out to be absolutely top-notch/must-see TV, and I can’t keep up with the downloaded torrents of John Oliver’s Sunday-night show on my little magic stick.

    Ben, what have you done for me lately?

    • Bad Tom

      Well, he inspired this snarkfest here, which is pretty good.

      Not that he meant to.

  • Bob Conti

    I’m sure Ben has them all rolling at all those parties to which he’s invited…

  • gaymex

    If someone would please just fuck him, he’d probably settle down and quit squealing.

    • Yeah but his sphincter probably has razor sharp teeth inside — look at that face of his. Who would want to risk it?

      • gaymex

        Well, for sure not me, but I was hoping someone might volunteer…maybe a Dugger.

      • SFBruce

        Personally, I prefer to fuck men I actually like. Even if Shapiro has porn quality glutes, I’d pass.

        • gaymex

          …and we know he possess nothing of porn quality, so you’re definitely safe.

      • gaymex

        Perhaps Henckels makes some sort of file that would take off the sharp edges, but even then…

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Yeah, but it’s like feeding a stray cat. Just keeps coming back over and over and over…

      • gaymex

        My stray cat resents that remark…he has better sense.

  • Tim Henard

    The reality here, of course, is that if Mr. Shapiro were correct Jon Stewart would be ending his run with a whimper instead of a massive, unprecedented BANG! This is nothing more than a feeble attempt to belittle and degrade someone who has proven to be thoughtful, insightful, intelligent, and … funny. Seriously funny. And, more often than not, right on the mark.

  • shapiro’s bitterness is a projection – he, like all right-wing talking heads, is well aware that the thone he sits on is made of bullshit, the his loyal subjects are literally the scum of america.

  • txstevo

    Shapiro reminds me of the kid who sh*t his pants in elementary school

  • It sounds like Shapiro has confused his own audience for Stewart’s

    • Lumpy Gaga

      Ben “Rupert Pupkin” Shapiro.

    • vorpal

      What audience?

  • vorpal

    Shapiro is so inbred that, like Jesus, he is probably somehow his own father.

    • Bad Tom

      If he’s a self-made time-loop, there’s at least a chance that someday he’ll disappear in a puff of smoke.

      Here’s to hoping!

      • vorpal

        If Hillary wins in 2016, there might be a mass extinction event from conservative heads exploding :-).

        Fingers crossed!

  • JaniceInToronto

    Project much Ben?

  • Cosmo Tupper

    Wow! What a miserable simpleton!

  • vorpal

    Don’t worry, Bungjammin. I’m sure puberty is just around the corner for you.

  • Giant Monster Gamera

    Ben Shapiro: the world’s youngest old man.

  • Ron

    This hack piece has all the hallmarks of a bitter halfwit queen

  • AtticusP

    I’m going to start to think of this Insufferable little twat as ALF:

    Arrogant little fuck.

  • Is this what the kid from The Girl Next Door is doing with his life now?

  • matthewrettenmund

    Damien from THE OMEN.

  • fuzzybits
  • Yank

    So says, hang on a minute; who the fuck is this twat?

    • billbear1961

      Nobody.

  • Matt

    This young man was clearly not weaned properly as a child.

    • billbear1961

      His mother must have held him at arm’s length.

      Do you blame her?

  • Sporkfighter

    I have to admit, the Republicans have made it easy for comedians by creating such a target rich environment.

  • rextrek1

    awe man John – see the shit you’ll be missing? Just give John 5 minute’s to skewer that little phisher!!!!

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Living with undescended testicles can lead to diminished stature, and a life of bitterness and mean-spiritedness. A shame really.

  • cminca

    Classic Carl Rove–accuse your enemy of that which you are guilty.

    • JW Swift

      He clearly got a copy of the Rethuglican playbook.

  • billbear1961

    Heraclitus wept at human folly, and Democritus laughed at it; so, if they were alive today and saw Fox, I think we know how they’d react.

    Jon is our Democritus (although sometimes we see justifiable anger and perhaps in private sometimes he may weep).

    We need him more than EVER!

    Shapiro isn’t even fit to polish his shoes.

  • Jon Stewart isn’t a liberal. He mocks stupidity and hypocrisy wherever it comes from, left, right or center. But who’re we kidding? Right-wing d-bags like Ben Shapiro have been so accommodatingly mock-able you begin to wonder if they were on the Daily Show payroll.

    • billbear1961

      He’s a liberal–he’s made that clear in debates with Bill O’Reilly (and not just then).

      But he’s an honest liberal, not a shill, and, as you say, he will mock stupidity and hypocrisy and cowardice and cruelty wherever he finds them.

      Although when it comes to bigoted and callous cruelty, and sheer, unadulterated mendacity, it’s a simple FACT you find a LOT more of BOTH on the RIGHT.

      The truth and facts have a liberal bias, as jocular progressives are fond of saying, and correct to say!

  • MattM

    He’s got a baby face, but the face of a baby that’s been forced to do manual labor for 15 years. He looks so tired and worn, yet so childlike. I hope I look better than he does when I get to be his age.

    • crankyd

      You’re right. All those years of living without a sense of humor must eat one alive from the inside out; he’s hollowed out by now.
      Like being in a prison of stupid.

  • JR

    Angry milquetoast boy says what?

  • lvnvrcd

    Jealous much, Benji?

  • Mark_in_MN

    What does he know about it? He’s humor impaired. But wait, there’s more. He’s also an idiot who apparently has a hard time making reasonable observations about others.

  • Bill T.

    Trying to read anything written by Ben Shapiro is like trying to stand still while watching someone take a shit in public.

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    One of these two is a giant in his field of political analysis and humor.
    The other, a stunted pygmy who seemingly is terrified of girls.

  • Ninja0980

    Rich coming from someone who doesn’t have the guts to operate outside his right wing bubble.

  • bambinoitaliano

    Awwwwww little boy so brave, taking shots at Jon Stewart on his last days. Here’s your milk and cookie, now go to your room.

  • Happy Dance

    Ben there done that…

  • Edd

    Trump lite.

  • Regan DuCasse

    There aren’t a lot of shows that make me laugh out loud.
    The Daily Show, did it for me.
    And Jon Stewart does LIVE interviews, and he’s quick as lightning. So it’s not all the writer’s talent he relies on.
    I can’t think of anyone of the anti gay mob, who have the tiniest sense of humor or are as clever as they think they are.
    This is a cruel, bitter, and awful world sometimes. And funny people make it all go SO much smoother.
    So insulting Jon Stewart’s audience, which has kept him on air since Shapiro’s first wet dream, isn’t going to make Shapiro look like any more than he actually is.
    Someone with NONE of talent, brains and of Jon Stewart, and less of the compassion of the ordinary folks that get Stewart and Co’s humor.

  • Joseph Miceli

    You asshole. If it is “live” it isn’t a “laugh track.”
    Jesus, what a fucking moron. No wonder conservatism is bankrupt of ideas if this passes for deep thinking on their part.

  • Toasterlad

    If it’s that easy, Ben, how come every attempt to mount a conservative version of the format has been a dismal, embarrassing failure?

  • Orly

    Sure thing Damien (Omen). Keep telling yourself that. Self delusion is goood. Self delusion is goood.

  • KaBoomBOX

    Written like a petulant little boy who can’t understand why nobody likes him or his attempts at humor.

  • anne marie in philly

    who is this ugly muthafucka and why should I give six shits about ANYTHING he writes from his mommy’s basement?

    the show is LIVE, asswipe!

  • Megrim Twist

    Ha. And HA again. The joke’s definitely on you, Ben.

  • HomerTh

    If it is so easy, why doesnt this closet case have his own tv show?

  • Jafafa Hots

    The entire right wing of a huge nation including AN ENTIRE CABLE NEWS NETWORK has been busy telling us how much one half-hour comedy show on basic cable didn’t ever hurt their feelings one bit, NOT EVER!!!

    I don’t play poker, but I think that’s what they call “a tell.”

  • kanehau

    He didn’t even need jokes: he could just run a clip from Fox News, any clip

    Yup… that pretty much sums it all up.

  • JustSayin’

    I wonder if his parents have just disowned him or sat Shiva for the death of their child…

  • Marides48

    Over 254 comments must have already said what I’m thinking about this little twerp!

  • perversatile

    So Ben~ Bitter Much?

  • DaveMiller135

    Says the guy who has never, not once, gotten the joke.

  • TreGibbs

    Wow – the lies, projection, jealousy… He’s a walking, talking Psych 101 class.

  • JCF

    If Jon’s audience were “trained seals”, then the FOX (or Breitbart!) audience are untrained plankton.

  • Robert Adams

    Excellent example of the sin of Envy, Bemn

  • Xuuths

    Jealousy is sooo unattractive.

  • Shapiro writes about Stewart so dishonestly he reveals Stewart’s significance.

  • M Jackson

    In 16 years on the air Stewart never mentioned this weasel’s name once. Ben’s a bitter little shit, isn’t he.

  • Kissmagrits

    Our beetle-browed dipwad Shapiro wouldn’t recognize irony or smart humor if it came up and bit him on the ass. As for Stewart’s having “the easiest job in television” – Ben can’t manage to remain relevant for a complete column.

    As for using laugh tracks to augment a live audience?
    They tried that in the fifties and it didn’t work then and sure as hell doesn’t work now.

    You are dismissed, Ben.

  • Jenni

    “He didn’t even need jokes: he could just run a clip from Fox News”— He can’t be blamed for that farce of a news station just HANDING him material!

  • Kruhn

    The dream of every prosecutor is for the accused to confess to his/her crimes. The reason Jon never had to make any comment when Fox News was caught in its own stupidity, is because Fiox made the case for him.

    I’m a way Little Ben will miss Jon. He won’t have a target for spleen.

  • Bert_Bauer

    Bitter, bitter Benji angry that he won’t be a “has-been” because he can’t even make it outside the incestuous conservative clusterfuck that is Breitbart. Maybe he could work at Arby’s?

  • Motownfan

    That boy needs to get laid.

  • Tom Chicago

    Dear Ben, In addition to your other curdled personality traits, we can now add bitterness at the high regard in which Jon Stewart is held by most humans. Clearly, you have some difficulty with the “human” aspect of things, because although you are undoubtedly talented, you fail to recognize the difference between a laugh track and “live” laughter.

  • Spokes Man

    “This had his trained seals rolling in the aisles.”

    You mean like Thomas Peters?

    You best watch your back, Ben. God don’t like ugly, and He could snap you like a twig. Just like Thomas Peters.

  • colin payne

    What an angry little man.

  • Sean Taylor

    A missed opportunity as a New york Theater critic

  • 2karmanot

    Ben Shapiro…yawn…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….. Next!

  • Robert Conner

    Ben Shapiro is the poster boy for getting toxic chemicals out of the environment so they don’t damage developing brains. This kid clearly did not come fully assembled.

  • His eyes remind me of every bully I’ve ever had the unfortunate experience to encounter. He hates all that is different, and is a staunch supporter of the status quo, as that is something he can comprehend.

  • ChadSF

    “I must be stupid.” – Ben Shapiro. Yes you are Ben. You definitely are!