Tim Tebow’s Strange Workout


(Tipped by JMG reader Philip)

  • b

    They guy fucking that guy must shoot across the room.

  • BearEyes

    notice the “dig” at the end?

    • joeyj1220

      sports and homophobia… go together like a horse and carriage

      • And then people wonder why athletes are reluctant to come out.

    • Chuck in NYC

      I’d read the comments here before watching the video and had thought perhaps Tim made a homophobic dig — so I’ll explain to anyone else who’s done the same that it’s the announcer, Andy Nesbitt, who’s the jackass.

      • JustSayin’

        Nesbitt may be a jackass but he is right. Teaboys throwing style is bad and it makes him a lousy qb. That some read homobobia in it says a lot about them.

        • Gerry Fisher

          Yeah, given what I’d read about Tebow, the homophobia angle didn’t occur to me. He throws really badly for someone who wants to be paid a significant salary to–in part–throw the football well.

        • Chuck in NYC

          OK, I’ll grant your point.

          But it’s being pretty generous given that straight as well as gay folk make plenty of arched-eyebrow comments about TT for alleged fey tendencies in his throwing ability.

    • John30013

      I don’t know the announcer (though Chuck in NYC says he’s a jackass), but to me he seemed to be critiquing Tebow’s throwing style, rather than making a specifically homophobic remark (presumably about a “limp wrist”?).

      The fact is that Tebow was not a very capable QB once he got to the NFL. His throwing style probably contributed to that. (At least that’s how the remark played to me.)

      • BearEyes

        I took it as a veiled limp wrist insult. And yes, TT isn’t the greatest QB

  • VodkaAndPolitics

    While they may not have that machine at my local Crunch Gym, they DEFINITELY have something very very similar at my local “Gym,” Club Ft Lauderdale.

  • millers3888

    Much like Chick-fil-A, I can make an exception for his religious fanaticism to eat him out…

  • Giant Monster Gamera

    His knees won’t be able to take that for long.

    • clay

      why does he want the impact of coming back down like that?

      • TampaDink

        Pre-date night warm ups.

      • Sashineb

        Doing an explosive movement is sometimes used for the “fast twitch” fibres of the muscle. Big bodybuilders often that a faster motion for their lift, but what he’s doing is taking it to extremes. It’s putting more stress on the knees than the muscles even though his muscles are pushing very hard to go back. http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/ask-the-muscle-prof-how-do-i-target-fast-twitch-muscle-fibers.html

        • BobSF_94117

          Is it more or less stress than just jumping up and down? Seems like less.

          • Sashineb

            He’s putting a lot of stress on the knees. Notice the weight plates on the back of the machine. Nobody would use a leg press machine like this, and nobody would do any type of squats like this. I think his knees will take a real pounding because of the impact and also the amount of weight he’s pushing. This is one of those “look at me, I’m fabulous” exercises.

        • clay

          explosive movement doesn’t have to be high impact, though.

          • Sashineb

            Right, but I’ve seen enough of the steroid gods at the gym doing similar things. One of the trainers told me his buddy had to be taken to hospital from doing something similar. His knee popped out of the socket.

      • fuow

        Because he’s an idiot.

        • ScottJL

          We have a winner!

      • bambinoitaliano

        He is practicing the reverse cowgirl position?

        • clay

          only if he’s practicing breaking his girlfriend’s strap-on.

          • bambinoitaliano

            Oh. I thought he’s the cowgirl.

          • clay

            That’s why she’s wearing the strap-on.

    • bkmn

      That made my knee hurt just looking at it but then again I have another month to go before I get it replaced.

      • Bj Lincoln

        Good luck! My wife had both knees total replacement over the winter. She was in great shape for Pride and the day after at the park! I am so happy to be able to make plans for picnics and walks in the parks now. She is not in pain! You will need to keep working the therapy for a year to make sure they working right. I wish you the best. The first 2 weeks are hell but very worth it.

    • Gene

      I have seen this machine at a gym I went to once. It will do amazing things for muscle growth. It would MESS up your knees and ankles. As per the knees, its Football, a combination of what one commentator called the two worst aspects of American culture..constant committee meetings and gang warfare, a sport that has to have committees to discuss how to avoid so many concusive brain injuries that lead to later life memory loss, dementia and suicide. the player who is to dumb to not see that and go “hell no” wont be to worried about his knees

    • Brian in Valdosta

      Or his hips, or his ankles, or his lower back. Damn, he just has “sidelined for injury” written all over him.

  • cmh

    To be honest it looks like he’s working on explosive moments while saving his back, jump box and explosive squats can do similar things. Except it looks like he only has 95lbs on the the contraption.. try 400-500 next time Tim.

  • KP

    Still my favorite Tim Tebow video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojXkblN7pC0

    • TampaDink

      Did he have compound fractures in BOTH wrists at the same time?

      • Emma Duncan

        no wonder he “throws like a girl”

        • TampaDink

          I have no room to talk in such matters.
          I was told that I throw like a girl, catch like a girl, run like a girl….and all of those are blind girls with uncontrolled seizure disorders.

          • fuow

            Whereas, total bottom me can throw straight and long and hard.
            Life’s funny, there’s no other word for it.
            Tim Tebow, like so many closeted gay men, has done a lot of harm and will do more.

          • GeoffreyPS

            How I phrase it is “I’d say I throw like a girl but that’s really an insult to girls.” PE was my nightmare in high school. Though the showers afterward could make for interesting viewing.

          • BobSF_94117

            The showers were worse though I did get very good at doing math problems in my head.

          • Reality.Bites

            These days you can spot a closeted gay boy because he has a calculator in the shower.

          • BobSF_94117

            Much easier to control than a slide-rule.

          • David Walker

            I went to a very small junior-senior high school. Four townships combined for one school district. My class was the first to graduate more 100. Frankly, after a couple of years of gym showers with the same guys, there were no surprises left. Consistently being the last chosen in pickup games may have colored my thinking, however.

          • Porkie

            I was excused all team sports – ’cause I was a bad influence.

          • I bet you still are. ;’)

          • Porkie

            Not these days …me, the cat, and something comfy; I am set for the evening.

          • clay

            Well, I hope that “something comfy” has a more personal name, as well.

          • Porkie

            lol sadly no!

          • I’m comfy!

          • Porkie

            but for the distance!

          • Then I definitely need to get that fucking passport renewed! ;^)

        • Ginger Snap

          The girls I know throw pretty damn good. I on the other hand throw like a boy who can’t throw a ball.

          • DonnaLee

            I throw and catch well, just don’t ask me to run.

    • medaka

      Honeypot Sugarmelon! Jaazhands A+!

    • CJAS

      He was home schooled by his mother. He may have just picked up her speech patterns and mannerisms.

      • Well that explains his awkward interactions with sports reporters and in front of the camera.

      • I know how that goes. My mother taught me how to be butch too,.

        • CJAS

          That made me smile. Thanks.

        • BudClark

          Mine taught me how to be a bitch … by example.

      • KB

        Homeschool guys totally throw off my gaydar for just that reason.

    • fuow

      Oh, Mary, puhlease. Her sideline in Judy’s purses, alone, keep her rolling in the dough.
      The sooner she admits who she is, the better for her.

    • Snarkaholic

      As straight as a circle.

    • Sam Rothstein

      Come on, Tim, Vogue for me.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuJQSAiODqI

    • LonelyLiberal

      Did somebody install a windmill to take advantage of the breezes from his flopping wrists?

    • anne marie in philly

      OMB, he needs to come outta da closet!

  • TampaDink

    A little move he calls the Singapore Sling. He may not have ever been to Singapore….but he’s got the moves of a dude who has spent some time with his ass in a sling.

  • KCMC

    Mmmm, bacon, beef, and chicken for brunch.

  • clay

    White men can’t jump? It looks like he’s preparing to (finally) stretch beyond his love affair with being QB.

  • KP

    Because Jesus says: “Only whores do squats”

  • LonelyLiberal

    “There, you see? To get the best penetration, you have to kick away from your buddy when on the sling. You want slapping noises, baby. Slapping noises.”

  • bkmn

    ..

    • TampaDink

      Excuse me, do you carry this one in passive bottom?

    • KQCA

      Busted bottom.

    • JR

      *popspew*

  • KQCA

    WTH was this footage originally intended for?

  • Mister Don
  • Boy Elvis

    If he blows out his knees and ends his football “career” I for one would be OK with it.

  • Blake Jordan

    I thought he was unemployed in the NFL, why is he still “a thing”?

    • The Larry Mac

      He was signed by the Philadelphia Eagles a couple months back.

      • Gerry Fisher

        “I’m not dead yet!”

      • Lumpy Gaga

        We may be only #4 when it comes to V.D., but Sports Illustrated says the Philadelphia Eagles have the most hated fans in the country!

        • anne marie in philly

          tru fax dat. I don’t follow football, but our drunken knuckle-dragging neanderthal caveman football fans are a disgrace to my city.

      • anne marie in philly

        unfortunately…

  • pickypecker

    is there anything that’s NOT strange about this guy? sheesh

  • Pablo

    He’s gorgeous. I hope one day he kneels down and thanks Jesus for meeting me.

    • BlueberriesForMe

      “He is a VERY nice young man!”

  • Rick

    Pff. Trump’s hair could totally lift that.

  • Blobby

    is it a strange workout? my gym has a machine similar to that which I use. …..and he can pray for my soul……….after i fellate him.

    • BlueberriesForMe

      Thanks for doing it for the team.

      • Blobby

        i do what i can!

  • Greg B.

    I know he’s annoying, weird, Jesusy and all that… but my gawd… I really think I could overlook all that for a few… make that several hours.

    • Silver Badger

      I imagine as long as you keep his mouth full and busy, he would be tolerable.

  • TheManicMechanic

    Because squats put your ass on display?

    • BlueberriesForMe

      “Dude, do you even squat? It’s ATG or nothing”.

  • Gregory In Seattle

    His being a religious bigot really spoils the view, sorry.

  • Bj Lincoln

    I see knees and hips replacements in his future. You can’t work out like that and not pay for it down the line.

  • Happy Dance

    I am not much of a Teblow fan, but that looks HOT!

  • Drew2u

    Personal views aside, he’s still a coregasm with a paper-bag hat.

  • Gerry Fisher

    Did I detect some snark in that sportscaster? I luv it!

  • grada3784

    I guess we’ll be hearing from Skip Baylis soon.

  • uhhuhh

    Is his workout based solely on the Bible?

  • Ireyon

    His head is empty but that body…

    • That body says “Ball gag and a choker.”

  • DaveMiller135

    Admit it, that does look like fun.

    • Oh, yes, I bet that’s a fun ride. And when we’re done, we can always switch… Oh, you were talking about the workout, weren’t you?

  • BudClark

    He’d bottom you SO HARD.

  • josephsinger

    Anyone can learn how to become a pimp.

  • Brian in Valdosta

    I’d still fuck ‘im.

  • anne marie in philly

    we don’t have one of these at my gym. it’s an overgrown swing for an overgrown baby. and I find him repulsive.

  • KQCA

    He reminds me of 5 of the popular jocks I knew at Azusa Pacific University where I attended. They were hot, muscular, popular guys who remained celibate or claimed to be virgins until they wed….only to come out of the closet 10 to 15 years after we all graduated. The married ones sure had a hard time sorting things out in dirty divorces from born-again wives whose vengeance was financed or fueled by their churches and families. A hateful divorce wasn’t enough for those gals; their anger at marrying a gay man manifested itself in their efforts to completely destroy these guys’ lives, with their churches assisting in isolating the kids and teaching them to hate their fathers. It’s a sad and lonely road these guys took, and Tebow shows the same signs of being trapped in the same type of situation.
    Fame or money or a glowing public image don’t provide the most essential need in life.