SAN FRANCISCO: Morrissey Files Sexual Assault Complaint Against Airport Security

“On leaving the US on 27 July I flew from San Francisco International Airport to London on flight BA 284. At 2:30 in the afternoon I went through the usual airport security procedure including the stand-up ‘scanner’, and all was well – no bleeps and nothing unusual. Before I could gather my belongings from the usual array of trays I was approached by an ‘airport security officer’ who stopped me, crouched before me and groped my penis and testicles. He quickly moved away as an older ‘airport security officer’ approached. The officer who sexually assaulted me was identified. Luckily I was accompanied by two members of British Airways Special Services, who were horrified at the sexual attack and suggested that I lodge a complaint. The British Airways Special Services employees assured me that a complaint was worthwhile, and so I filed the appropriate information.” – Morrissey, in a statement published today by the San Francisco Chronicle.

  • jmax

    I flew from DCA to MCI yesterday and no one offered me that service. That’s what I get for flying coach.

    • Scott Carpenter

      MCI? Didn’t they used to be a phone company? Are they a destination now?

      • jmax

        Mid-Continent International. The official designation for Kansas City’s airport.

        • Octavio

          You poor soul. I hope you recover from the experience very soon. 🙂

        • TerryInIowa

          The airport we live near is the Moline International (HA!) Airport (MLI). We had a layover in GA and when we boarded the next flight, there were flight crew asking to stow carry-on bags below deck due to lack of overhead space. My husband agreed to have his bag checked (with his medications inside) and the crew member scribbled MLI on the ticket he attached to the bag. Unfortunately, the L looked more like a C and his bag took an extended vacation to Kansas City. Wheee!

        • bkmn

          It SUX if you live in Sioux City, IA.

          • yetanotherLaura

            And you’re really FUK’d if you go to Fukuoka, Japan. Yes, that’s their code, FUK.

          • Kenneth Hwang

            You’d get a hell of a KIX if you go to Kansai then.

        • Jeff

          Get hungry if you’re heading for my home of Wenatchee, Washington! EAT

        • BobSF_94117

          “Mid-continental”? Are they angling to be a spaceport some day?

          • McSwagg

            George H. W. Bush – Houston Intercontinental Airport (IAH) has dibs on the spaceport thing. Houston is the ‘Space City” after all.

    • Snicker. I got the “full-body-pat-down-search-at-the-gate” treatment one time while flying. I joked to the lady patting me down “Usually, people buy me dinner before I let them do this.” She just grumpily replied “M’am, please be quiet and stand still.” She’s probably heard something like that before. Or maybe she thought I was trying to flirt with her. :p

      • jmax

        I don’t think anyone who works for airport security has a sense of humor.

        • Todd Allis

          Perhaps working that job drains any humor out of them.

          • jmax

            I’m sure it does. It’s not a job I would want to do. One of those damned-if-you-do-or-don’t occupations.

          • True. I get that she was just doing her job. I was only trying to lighten things up, but of course, that’s no good for some people in some situations. ^_^

        • Raybob

          The guy working the Hertz counter at 2am last Friday morning didn’t either. Not one ounce.
          It’s been a long time since I’ve been snarled at quite like that.

        • Reality.Bites

          I met one once. I forget what airport it was, but I was in line at a Burger King. In front of me was a TSA guy, and in front of him was a really slow guy taking a LONG time to count out the exact change to pay for his order.

          I said to the TSA guy, “Any chance you could arrest him?”

          He replied, “No, but I can give him a hard time when he gets to security.”

      • Snarkaholic

        Next time, start making (loud) noises, such as, “Uh…uh…aaaaah.” If the inspector threatens you, finish with, “…aaaah…ah…ACHOO!”

    • MarkOH

      Hm, what was he packing?

    • tcinsf

      Only time I was ever groped was returning from Sydney. It was wonderful.

    • Carl

      I too, flew from DCA to MCI on Wednesday. My husband and I were in the pre-check line and hardly got a second glance as we went through.

      • jmax

        I forgot to remove my reading glasses from my breast pocket and the agent told me to reach in with one hand and take them out. He then patted my chest and let me pass. That’s the only time I’ve ever been touched by security at an airport. However, my partner got the full body pat-down leaving KC the week before. He’s much better looking than me 🙂

  • Octavio

    I’m definitely not a fan of Morrissey or his “art”. But I applaud his action of lodging a complaint against the TSA.

  • Lane

    A reminder: At SFO, they are NOT the TSA. They are a private contractor called CAS.

    • Octavio

      That makes it much different, then. 🙂

      • Lane

        It kinda does — they’re even less accountable. 🙁

      • Lane

        Don’t get me wrong — I’m not a fan of any of the “security theatre” screening operations. They do very little that actually keeps us safe. But I am a fan of accuracy and increased awareness that there are non-TSA folks out there, groping us.

        • Octavio

          I was just being my snarky asshole self. No problem. 🙂

    • Lane
    • Lane

      It also means the complaint procedure is different.

    • bkmn

      Good, this should shut up a bit of the constant talk from the right about privatizing the TSA.

  • MattM

    Flying out of SFO at the end of the month. I for one go out of my way to make them hand-search me. I much rather make it mutually awkward then endure the one-sided awkwardness of them looking at a naked scan of my body.

    • Lane

      I always request an “opt-out” of the body scanner. It’s a free trip to second base, and it makes me feel “safer”.

  • pickypecker

    I need some clarification here……can someone tell me if this qualifies as a ‘Duggaring?’

    • Soren456

      You have to be asleep.

    • bzrd

      with jammies on

  • Six Pins Delores

    Yes, I just had my nuts felt up at Logan on my way to Chicago Monday. I feel so cheap.

    • I hate it when they try to kiss you at the same time.

      • Six Pins Delores

        That’s not so bad as when they want to snuggle and breathe in my personal space after.

        • pickypecker

          Or wordlessly leave the money on the table on their way out?

    • Mark

      I need to travel more often…..

  • another_steve

    Just like the recent “lion / killer dentist” story, everyone will rush to judgment on this story, condemn the whoever, create viral videos, etc.

    Gone are the days when people awaited all the facts to come in before passing judgment.

    The “beauty” of social media, this. [/snark]

    • zhera

      Beg your pardon? You’re defending the lion killer?

      • another_steve

        I want to hear all the facts first before I pass judgment.

        Did he know, or have reason to know, that the lion was illegally lured out of a protective space?

        If not, the fact that he killed a creature (beautiful and cuddly and popular or not) for “trophy purposes” is heinous, but may not have been illegal.

        • TerryInIowa

          Since it may be very hard to prove what he knew, is there anything in his history that might indicate that he hunts illegally… Oh yeah, there’s that felony in Wisconsin for killing a bear OUTSIDE THE AREA HE HAD A PERMIT FOR, as well as the fact that he lied about it when questioned.

          • another_steve

            That’s not how the American legal system works, for one. One’s past history is generally not admissible in court, as I understand it. For sentencing purposes, yes. But not for a finding of guilt or innocence in the instant case.

            Trophy hunting is abhorrent, but so, imo, is the “sport” of boxing — the goal of which is to knock unconscious your opponent.

            Should I be boycotting every dentist and every other professional who subsidizes the sport of boxing?

          • GarySFBCN

            These comments are not the “American legal system”, and as we know that he has hunted big-game for trophies more than 40 times, was found guilty of a felony poaching charge, was a member of a few hunting organizations, many of us have decided that he knew exactly what was going on.

            We don’t have to wait for the justice system to work to condemn someone.

          • motordog

            Boycotting anyone for any reason is your option…your reasons for doing so are your own. A boycott is a form of public speech, after all. Occasionally, enacting a boycott does more to inconvenience the initiator than the target.

          • gaymex

            Steve, Steve, stop digging.

        • non

          I don’t think the outrage is quite so much about the illegality as his “heinous” “taking” of a lion. I’m pretty sure calling his actions heinous is a condemnation and a moral judgement.

          But go ahead and feel superior since you just aren’t quite yet whether his actions were technically a violation of Zimbabwean law. The rest of us will sit right here in awe of your brilliant legal scholarship.

          • gaymex

            lol

        • motordog

          While I hear what you’re saying…and understand your concern…I think the lion case is not a good example of your point. To be fair, I don’t think anyone passing ‘judgment’ cares if the act was legal or not. His fugitive status is irrelevant…I hate him because of his actions. I knew from the first second the guy was an asshole because he takes such pleasure from killing animals. If he has a legal permit, it’s a legal asshole permit, as far as I’m concerned.

          • gaymex

            I think you’ve nailed the entire volley.

    • TominDC

      >Gone are the days when people awaited all the facts to come in before passing judgment.

      What are you on about?

      When and where was this mythical/mystical past where people didn’t judge others without knowing all the facts?

      • non

        *squints eyes and cocks head slightly* You sound like a witch, dude.

      • Steve Teeter

        Knowing all the facts? If this guy is prosecuted, the court will want to know as many facts as possible before passing judgment. And yes, his past history will not be considered relevant.

        But private individuals are free to come to whatever conclusions they want about they guy, based on what they read in the paper and heard on the news, and nothing more. If they conclude this dentist is a murderous creep and an asshole, that’s their right. It’s part of free speech.

        • Reality.Bites

          Another_ Steve only approves of free speech when it’s being used to incite violence against LGBT people. Otherwise he’s a big old pearl-clutcher.

    • GarySFBCN

      Maybe you should read the comments. Most are making jokes about it Morrissey and the incident.

      Again, your concern is duly noted.

    • CottonBlimp

      Yeah, gone are the good old days when you could get away with heinous acts by committing them in relative obscurity.

    • gaymex

      Steve, what in the fuck is going on with you? Your self-righteousness is really appalling.

  • Tipsy

    Isn’t this from the movie Sexy Beast?

  • unrepentant

    Um, I’m surprised no one else stated the obvious. Morrissey was probably in SF for Dore Alley/Up Your Alley Fair. Makes me sad I didn’t go to see what naughtiness he might have been up to.

  • kanehau

    Ok… I have to relate this story that happened to me a few months ago.

    I was flying out of the Big Island (Hawaii) to the mainland. It was the first flight of the morning and THANKFULLY I was the first person through security.

    I should mention that I always go commando…

    I was wearing shorts but no belt as it makes the security system go off.

    I go through the scanner and a TSA gentleman asks if he can ‘pat me down’.

    He puts his hands on my shorts and pats, but also slightly pulls down… as he does this, he goes to his knees.

    Needless to say, without my belt, my shorts came completely off, with him on his knees right in front of me.

    You have never seen such a reaction on both of our parts. He was SUPER embarrassed… I was amused. He said “quick, pull your pants up! pull your pants up!”… which of course required me to bend over.

    Luckily, being the first person into the terminal, no other travelers saw it (edit, my boyfriend was behind me). However, a nearby TSA gentlewoman saw everything.

    I tried to apologize, but he looked the other way and waved me on.

    Poor guy. Hope he recovered.

    • JulieBL

      OMGLOL.
      Took me a second (being a str8 woman) to grok “going commando” but goodlordinheavn, what a mental image!!

    • GarySFBCN

      Photos?

      • kanehau

        You’ll have to ask TSA for those 😉

    • ZhyKitty

      ROTFLMAO!!!!!!

      I gave up wearing undies back in the 90’s too… I can’t even imagine…. ROTFLMAO @ that whole mental image!

    • Herald

      Priceless!!

    • bambinoitaliano

      Too bad I was not behind you. I’ll go bee boppin 70’s porn music along with the patting.

      • kanehau

        Luckly my boyfriend was behind me 🙂

    • Gerry Fisher

      AWESOME story! 🙂

    • gaymex

      THAT should be a movie scene. Hilarious.

  • Tom Tallis

    Flagged.

  • non

    I always opt out of the radiation machine. It is a small act of protest. So I feel in control when TSA forces me to submit to being felt up, and therefore I can enjoy it in a bizarre way. In my head, I am forcing a (probably) straight man to unwittingly give physical pleasure to a faggot. So it’s really him who is being violated, not me. Maybe it’s just a coping mechanism…

    • People4Humanity

      I share this harmless amusement.

    • JulieBL

      ME TOO. I always refuse the damned scanner, and refuse the offer of a private place for the pat down. I feel safer that way.

    • bkmn

      I don’t blame you since the manufacturers of those radiation devices made the Homeland Security Agency classify them so they are exempt from normal radiation monitoring.

      • ZhyKitty

        I’ve had cancer…there is no way on earth I would agree to walk through one of those things.
        It’d have to be the pat down…and I feel sick at the thought of it.
        I’ve read so many horror stories about people being molested by the TSA and having their things stolen out of their bags.
        For an agoraphobic, claustrophobic person like me, who has totally given in to it and allowed themselves to become a hermit, the idea of it all is very distressing.

        I know that I have to fly to go see my daughter graduate from medical school this year. It’ll be my first time on a plane since 9/11.
        I can’t even let myself think about it… I don’t know how I’m going to cope with leaving my comfort zone like that, much less being traumatized at the airport….with my mother (move over Joan Crawford) as company, no less.

        • bzrd

          Sweet Kitty, I’m with you and the cancer thing. No way am I getting in that machine. And, I also enjoy the free feel. Hell, at 70 there have to be a few freebies.

        • canoebum

          Can’t you take a train? Far more relaxing. A little more money, but much less stress.

        • David Walker

          I was about to recommend what canoebum suggested. But I tried to figure out costs and times going from Harrisburg to Denver. There was one train, it was not a through train, there was a hellaciously long layover in Chicago, and the price was noticeably higher. I like flying but I thought it would be fun to go cross-country by rail.

        • Valium. Some for you and more for your mom. When it’s getting close to time have your doc give you a script.

      • CottonBlimp

        The thing that really bothers me is you opt out of going through the scanner for fear of the radiation, so then, while they go off in search of an officer to pat you down, they tell you to stand immediately next to the scanner for 5 to 10 minutes while it’s in constant use.

      • sword

        You do know that you get a good dose of radiation on every long flight? Good luck on that long swim to Hawaii!

    • cheakamus

      I do the same and get similar satisfaction out the (usually much younger) TSA agent’s embarrassment.

  • Ginger Snap

    Sounds weird and wrong, but I could go for a random grope from a man in a uniform. Must have been a crazed fan.

    • Reality.Bites

      I once had to have a pat-down from a big TSA guy with a southern accent. As it happens, that’s not my type, but I could appreciate how hot it would be for someone who likes that kind of guy. It was all, “OK, sir, now I’m going to touch you there. And now I’m going to touch you here.”

      Oh baby, talk dirty to me!

  • Jafafa Hots

    Well, on the one hand if true, he should do what needs to be done. On the other hand, as he referred to Japanese people as “a subspecies” as an insult, he showed that he is not only a bigot, but ignorant not only as to human biology, but as to biology in general and what the meaning of “subspecies” is… he didn’t even use the word as a racist insult in the way he thought it would mean.

    So I’ve concluded he’s a whiny bigoted idiot… and as such, I take whatever he says with a mine of salt.

    • Capritaur

      I think he was referring to the Chinese in light of some videos depicting animal cruelty in China surfacing on the internet. But then again, Morrissey is a PETA fanatic and they’ve never had a problem with denigrating human dignity.

      • Jafafa Hots

        he was talking about Japanese whaling, if I remember correctly, and I am totally on his side that it is horrible.
        But the racism is bullshit… as is not only his attempting to characterize them as less than human, but also his scientific illiteracy in using “subspecies” as if that WOULD denote a so-called “lesser species” even if his racist claims WERE true.

        He packed so much other wrongness and stupidity into that comment along with the bigotry that I just can’t take him as a rational person at all.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    TSA = Theatrical Security Agency.

    Worthless, useless, bullshit illusion of security. Republicans always talk about smaller government but it is ALWAYS them that grow it exponentially.

    If you want to keep travelers safe. Disband the TSA.

    • canoebum

      Scan the fucking CARGO! After all these years, they’re still putting air cargo on commercial passenger jets that has not been checked for security purposes.

      • theJigIsUp

        I know, right?! Anything imaginable can and has been slipped in while we were keeping up with the Kartrashians.

    • perversatile

      Well said
      -one would think that an employee
      whose sole raison d’etre is to
      maintain our Illusion of Security,
      would at least have the skills of
      lets say, a vending machine,
      or the person that puts the
      “inspected by number 5” tags in t-shirts.
      When dealing with the TSA, I always think,
      “gee that’s really sad, this guy
      had to work here because he couldn’t
      get a job as a door knob tester or
      as the guy that lives in one of those
      little bitty parking lot houses.

      • Rebecca Gardner

        THIS! “gee that’s really sad, this guy had to work here because he couldn’t get a job as a door knob tester”

        Now I have the giggles.

        • perversatile

          I see my work here is done- xoxo

  • Sam_Handwich
    • pickypecker

      huh. no one needing an LP there, eh?

      • motordog

        Be happy there aren’t any ‘cassingles’ (remember them?)

        • sach2

          “I’ll be you shelter” : Taylor Dane on my Blaupunkt car stereo sounded the most awesome it has ever sounded.

          I liked “Waterfalls” by TLC also.

          Don’t diss cassingles! I’m one of those people that likes to hear the same song over and over again.

    • CanuckDon

      Of course they had to use the British 45s with the centres in them….otherwise there’d be a bit of peek-a-boo with North American records.

    • NIFP

      I’m kind of surprised Morrissey is so tan.

      • GunnaHurt

        that is SO not his body.

      • Drew Holen

        THATS MORRISSEY?? Wow, His body looks much better than I recall from 1987 in London.

  • Clungeflaps

    I can’t stand morrissey, his song lyrics read like passages taken from a fat 15 year old emo/goth girl’s diary, yet he is a 50 year old man. Utterly cringeworthy, I personally think he’s on the autism spectrum. He’s also incredibly racist, he’s said shit that is on par with Ted Nugent, but of course because he’s english he gets a pass.

    I do want to say that I have a lot of respect for Johnny Marr, I think he’s a massive talent, and props to him for being able to put with morrissey for the time he did.

  • Happy Dance

    I have to say, I don’t know who he is.

  • Michael

    Sexual assault? That’s quite a stretch.

    • gaymex

      He probably wishes it had been stretched. Please…what a little girl.

  • BeaverTales

    I’ll always be grateful to the Smiths and Morrissey for “How Soon is Now” (sung a million times in the shower during my high school days)…and the first karaoke song I ever sang in a gay bar in my hometown. I guess it went really well, got several offers for drinks (and sex) afterwards https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnpILIIo9ek

    • tcinsf

      When people say they don’t like an artist or a genre, I usually reply that you can ALWAYS find one song you’ll like. for me, the Smiths and Morrissey are the exception to that rule.

      • BeaverTales

        Some songs are great solely based on their lyrics, vocals, and/or technical merit.
        Some are great based on their nostalgic value. That’s what’s different for all of us.

  • bambinoitaliano

    Somewhere in hell Osama is laughing his butt off he got all Americans molested for no reason.

  • chasmader

    Did he have his stash tucked under his “junk”. I know lots of idiots who do that… Just Sayin’…

    • Yank

      No one is ever ‘just sayin”
      Long past time to retire that.

      • ErickMN

        Maybe no one you know. It’s still a commonly used term. Maybe a few friends would broaden your horizons. Just sayin’.

  • leon von ramen noodles

    I didnt even know Moriseeds had balls.

  • meonthissite

    Spsssh apparently if you’re disabled they will pay special attention to your equipment like oxygen compressors and canes.

  • Yank

    It’ll be hilarious when it turns out not to have happened quite like that.
    I was a big fan in the 80’s, but Grumpy Granny has killed my admiration for the music of The Smiths. It’s a shame. She used to be so nice. Wait…that was Kylie.

  • JCF

    “groped my penis and testicles…so I filed the appropriate information”

    Good idea: let them know you’re a bottom.

  • Geezus Christ

    I wish they would provide us with the name of the security officer. Sounds like a cheap date to me. Are poppers legal in an airport?

    • Reality.Bites

      As long as you have fewer than 3 oz in the bottle. 😉

  • GunnaHurt

    Bitch please. As if anyone would want that shoveled prune. This, I’m sure, is just another pretext to cancel the rest of his shows for “personal reasons” or “illness” or “mental exhaustion” or “because I’m Morrissey and I’m a fucking wimp who needs to be kicked in the balls until I stop being such a wank.” Ugh.

  • William

    I suppose he has never flown out of Paris. They do a testicle count and keep a running tally of circumcised vs uncircumcised.

    By the way, SFO does not have TSA working the checkpoints, Covenant Vacation Security runs the show and tell.

  • leastyebejudged

    The typical tired Morrissey haters here as usual are unconcerned with the fact that there were witnesses to the incident.

    It’s funny to me that the majority of the remarks about Morrissey actually apply more to the silly fags making the remarks.

    • Porkie

      Agreed …This man feels that he has been assaulted, and in public. He has taken the the appropriate action – which is good, the witnesses will be interviewed as will he, and according to the investigation actions may or may not be taken against the perpetrator.
      As a surviver of abuse I know well enough that abusers hide behind power: the power of authority, of priests or teachers, the power of a uniform or physical power. And the greatest weapon that abusers have is that their assaults are either ignored or belittled.

      I am horrified at some of the reactions here, what would you say if it were a woman? or a child? or is it because Morrisey is a gay man he must either enjoy it or deserve it?
      Talk about internalised homophobia!

      • leastyebejudged

        It irked me a little because on my way back from the east coast a few years back from visiting my mother for the last time, days before she died of breast cancer, I was sexually assaulted in the boarding tube in phoenix by a TSA agent. I was actually startled by how upset I was about the whole ordeal, as I was singled out and I was traveling alone so there was nobody there to witness it. I filed complaints but all I got was a form letter that basically said fuck you, terrorism. So it’s a big fucking joke to these fagots when it happens to Morrissey. Fuck them.

        • Porkie

          You are not alone… it irked me alot…..I am still, at almost 50, seriously fucked up, after 37 years, these people don’t understand just how it makes you feel, how it takes away your sense of self; everything that you have been promised is stripped away.. and you are left with …And so? what are you going to do about it?
          FUCK them x20!

  • 2karmanot

    Details, details, come and sit by me.