God Launches Desperate Ad Campaign: Please Help Me Stop Those Terrible Gays

Actually this campaign was launched by the martyrs promoted last week by Ted Cruz. Via Glenn Beck’s site:

The Görtz Haus Gallery, a one-stop wedding venue, restaurant and flower shop that Betty and Dick Odgaard have run for the past 13 years in Grimes, Iowa, is slated for official closure on July 31, following intense controversy over the Christian owners’ refusal to host a gay wedding. The decision to close their doors follows a contentious legal battle stemming from the Odgaards’ turning away of Lee Stafford and his fiancé Jared Ellars in 2013 — a decision that resulted in a $5,000 settlement payout to the same-sex couple. The Odgaards have since launched God’s Original Design Ministry, a 501(c)(3) organization that will post billboards across the U.S. in an effort to defend traditional marriage as an institution that is comprised of only one man and one woman.

The first billboard went up this week in Oklahoma. The Odgaards say they are planning 999 more.

  • S1AMER

    The omnipotent one needs help?

    • ScottJL

      As I’ve said time and time again, if your deity needs assistance from lowly humans maybe it’s time you find one a little less impotent.

      • Veylon

        I don’t know. I’d rather have a deity that wants to be helpful but needs our participation than one who could be helpful but chooses not to be.

        • bambinoitaliano

          God has been keeping quiet to distance himself from these idiots. Now he just have to wait for them to die off. All those fake rapture dates were suppose to help speeding up the process but to no avail.

          • Gustav2

            The Boomers are just beginning to retire, we are 50/50. It will take a while, if as projected we have another 20 years to live.

          • TampaDink

            Except us gay male boomers. I’m pretty sure that I recall reading that we all have a life expectancy of 44 or some such bullshit.

          • Gustav2

            Damn, my husband and I are already dead.

          • TampaDink

            So are we. I think that the dog is keeping us going only because he lacks the ability to fend for himself….and he’s got a pretty sweet life here.

          • Bad Tom

            That’s right.
            We’re all actually dead, and posting on the Internet from beyond the grave.

          • TampaDink

            But….the calls are coming from inside the crypt.

        • Sk3ptic

          There’s no need for either.

      • JustSayin’

        is there a Viagra for Gods?

        • grada3784

          That went out with Elijah. Fire coming from heaven stopped with him.

    • Octavio

      Yeah. God is still hurtin’ from all the billies he/she/it lost when Lehman Bros. collapsed.

    • JoeNCA

      If you don’t, he’s going to reign down hell upon the earth.

      Not lift a finger for billions of suffering souls, but destroy us if dudes marry.

      Sounds like such a lovely deity.

      • grada3784

        Where else did St. Paul get his issues from?

  • Joe in PA

    go ahead, waste your money fucktards.

  • CanuckDon

    Marriage = 1 men’s washroom + 1 women’s washroom?

    • Timothy Kincaid

      Yes it does, actually. In West Hollywood the restrooms married and now all restrooms in the city are deemed to be unisex restrooms.

      • another_steve

        At Washington D.C. queer event venues I’m seeing more and more of that. Women don’t want to stand on long lines to pee, when the men’s rooms are empty.

        All honor and praise to thee, O free and open marketplace, which in the fullness of time shall set us all free.

      • GayEGO

        How about AllGenders, no sex, pee and poop only! :>)

    • bambinoitaliano

      Is the answer 2 Transgender washrooms?

    • tristram

      LOL – my first thought when I saw the picture – “I need to pee.” (of course, at my age that’s a frequent and recurring thought)

      • HadenoughBS

        Ooooo, they’re going to place 999 more of these signs around the USA, huh? And what is 999 upside down?? Why it’s 666 which as most Christianist believers know is the Sign of the Devil. So I guess that means the Odgaard clan must be Satan worshippers. Uh oh!!!

        • Bad Tom

          But only if you stand on your head.
          Which apparently these folks do all the time

        • GayEGO

          and the color is black which adds the support for the Devil!

      • JustSayin’

        try a daily dose of cranberry… vitamin aisle….about 8000 mg…works wonders..

    • Menergy

      for the win!!!!

    • GayEGO

      Apparently this marriage is in the washroom and is going down the hopper! :>)
      Flushhhhhhhh!
      -| | | |

      VVVV

  • crewman

    Has God read the Bible? There are a lot of one man many wives scenarios in there.

    • Timothy Kincaid

      I once did a count of all the various Biblical heros and their spousal situations. A surprising number of them were eunuchs or unmarried men and most of the rest either were married to a sister or a cousin or a bunch of women. I couldn’t find THREE marital relationships that would be welcomed in a Southern Baptist Church.

    • JT
    • Soren456

      “Dictated but not read.”

  • JT

    God can shut the fuck up! He’s not running the country.

  • Scott Carpenter

    If they have enough money to launch a billboard campaign, they have enough money to retire, ending forever their wailing angst at having to open their business to teh gayz.

    • TampaDink

      Or maybe enough money to eliminate childhood poverty & homelessness.

  • ChrisInKansas

    You mean the God who created everything out of thin air can’t fix this “problem” by itself? Sounds like a bit of a pussy to me.

  • Michael Rush

    suddenly god is tacky and stupid .

    • TampaDink

      Not the one on Twitter….or Thor.

  • friedpikmin

    Because God certainly doesn’t have more important things to do than stop two people of the same-sex form a legally binding relationship.

    This Christian Love makes me nauseous.

    • TampaDink

      Never try to consume that shit on an empty stomach.

      • vorpal

        You should have just stopped after “shit.”

        • TampaDink

          They (the god botherers) started it!

        • Bluto

          Dey eat da holy poo poo.

    • bambinoitaliano

      God is a bloody busy body. He tells all the professional athletes he is responsible for the winning team and the winning mvp. He also told the entertainment business he is the reason they won the awards. Not to mention the food he puts on the table. The job promotions, the scholarships. He is even responsible for those early departed under whatever circumstances.

      • Octavio

        So, god is responsible for all those dry chicken dinners at awards shows? God needs to be punished. :-/

        • bambinoitaliano

          What would god seen as punishment?

          • Octavio

            Forced listening to Gene Pitney albums?

          • bambinoitaliano

            Who is that? The man who shot Liberace Valet?

          • grada3784

            The guy who sang Town without Pity.

          • Giant Monster Gamera

            Based on his longevity, I’d say welcoming Pat Robertson home.

          • That’s easy. Withdrawal of worship. No more roast oxen or bits of bread and wine for Him. And no incense.

          • “stop gay marriage or you’ll go to your room without your roast goat and NO virgins!” -God’s mom

          • TampaDink

            Sweet mother of god!
            or
            Sweet, mother of god.

          • Bad Tom

            Having to be with all those “Christians” up in Heaven for all eternity.

          • Ben in Oakland

            Going to a Baptist church.

  • M. Coen

    “Although I can create a universe in seven days, impregnate women without touching them, and raise people from the dead, I can’t manage to stop those darned gays from getting hitched.”

    -God

    • JT

      “The force is too strong in those ones.”

    • TampaZeke

      SIX DAYS you godless heathen imposter! Anyone could create a universe in seven days but only GOD could do it is SIX! 😉

      • JT

        That’s according to the Apocrypha. According to the true word, he needed the seventh day in its entirety to create his crowning achievement, the holy gay. Heterosexual heretics, jealous of the special favor given to the gay, excised the explanation of that seventh day and made it a totally unnecessary day of rest.

        • TampaDink

          I KNEW that we took an inordinate amount of time to be created as fabulously as we are!

        • teeveedub

          He needed the seventh day to rest, but that’s how brunch came to be.

      • Please, you can’t even plan a good themed brunch is six days!

      • Michael Rush

        on the seventh day god rested , but
        someone forgot to tell these billboard
        morons to give it a rest .

    • TampaDink

      As Huey Lewis sings….”that’s the power of LOVE.”

    • Kara Connor

      That’s because we use chariots with iron wheels.

      • Sashineb

        That’s right! Those iron wheels will do it every time!! Judges 1:19 “The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had chariots fitted with iron.”

    • Dale082

      I hope you don’t mind me stealing this as a caption for that photo on my RWNJ Board on Pinterest … LOL!

    • Gerry Fisher

      Impotent. Not very attractive.

    • RossPDX

      “The Bible is my word. ‘Chihuahua’ is my safe word.”
      -God

      • Todd20036

        Mine is Cinnamon

    • Snarkaholic

      P.S. Also, send money…because even though I can part the Red Sea, I can’t seem to hold onto a buck.
      -G

      • grada3784

        Money just flows thru God’s hands like Red Sea water.

    • Sashineb

      Yeah, he’s awfully pathetic, isn’t he? And then he has to rely on servants like Cruz and Beck. How desperate can God get?

    • Michael Rush

      maybe you can drop them a line tell them what you think of their tacky billboard here …
      [email protected]
      ( from the website http://www.gods-design.org )
      i specifically mentioned Betty and Dick Odgaard when i wrote .

    • Halloween_Jack

      Omnipotence: she ain’t what she used to be.

  • Chris H.

    Once again, fundies don’t understand the difference between Marriage Equality and Public accommodation laws. But since Marriage Equality is the law of the land, they have to try to create some kind of impotent rage to appeal to the fag-hatters.=$$$

    • tristram

      Read the Glen Beck article. There’s a silver lining. According to the owner they were forced to close because “The lunch business had already decreased substantially due to boycotts and all the slander and black eye now on Görtz Haus . . . recent staffing issues were the final straw.” So even in Grimes, Iowa the customers won’t patronize this crap and all the best waiters are gay!

      • Gustav2

        But to hear them on all the websites, we will be an important issue in next years election. It might work for the House races, but not the Senate in most states.

        BTW, you don’t close a business if you are making money.

        • JustSayin’

          unless you are tRump or Romney, then you load it with debt and declare bankruptcy..

  • Harley

    Hmmmm. 999 is 666 turned upside down. They ARE the antichrist and must be destroyed. It’s all Pastafarious’ plan.

    • Paula

      Ramen! May the holy lasagna flow freely in your home.

      • Bluto

        I’ve been touched by his noodly appendage, or maybe that the TSA or even josh.

        • Bad Tom

          The TSA touches your luggage more reliably. They even leave friendly little notes!

  • Homo Erectus

    ..

  • BearEyes

    launched God’s Original Design Ministry, a 501(c)(3) organization that will post billboards

    … and thus a new grifting scam is born.

  • Paula

    I love seeing the righties dumping money into worthwhile projects like this.

  • another_steve

    God communicated with me this morning. I think it was 7:00 am or so, around the time I put my favorite “Czech twinks doing the nasty” tape in my VCR. (Yes, girls… I still have a functional VCR.)

    God’s exact words to me:

    “You, Steve, are my beloved. (And where exactly did you find that, if I may ask?)”

    • BearEyes

      As long as it’s not blinking 12:00

      • TampaDink

        Or 182

  • shellback

    I awoke this morning thinking I might become a xtian, but seeing what a pathetic god the xtians have, I decided to stick with Min.

    • GW in NZ

      Yes, the Omnipotent one seems to be getting a bit feeble in its old age. Sounds as if a stair lift might be necessary for the heaven-earth journey to appear its various comedy clubs. I mean churches.

  • KQCA

    Do they not realize how powerless, childish, and idiotic this portrays their god to be?

    • TampaDink

      At least one of them know exactly what’s up here. He might be religious as fuck….but he also holds a sales job with an outdoor advertising firm. Win-win.

      • JustSayin’

        i wonder if it is a Clear Channel billboard?

        • TampaDink

          Their message isn’t terribly clear.

    • Snarkaholic

      Yes…wouldn’t this be classified as blasphemy?

      • Rod Steely

        I thought so too.

  • BillTheCat45

    And they can cry 999 more times, it still won’t get them jack.

  • Gest2016

    Something tells me there will be only be one billboard.

    • TampaDink

      To match the number of deities that they claim to worship.

  • bkmn

    I thought God was talking to me at 2 am this morning but when I rolled over it was just the cat.

    • TampaDink

      He speaks to me in dream state too, usually through the medium of a medium to large Rhodesian Ridgeback/Pit/Lab mix…who has no concerns when it comes to get comfy on the bed…and repositioning every so often.

      • Octavio

        Our black lab and our beagle tend to keep us pinned by sleeping on the backs of our knees.

        • TampaDink

          I never imagined that by my 50’s I’d be getting pinned in bed every night by an actual canine.

          • Octavio

            LOL!

          • TampaDink

            Its only funny because it is true.

  • RossPDX

    After viewing their website, I can confirm that God’s Design does not include web design.

    • KQCA

      ROFL.. you win Comment of the Day!

    • JT

      Or intelligent design from the looks of things.

      • bkmn

        They are Xtains, they stay far away from intelligence.

    • Dee Zine

      And as for the billboard request, ” I need your help with this!” Help is on the way: Marriage = 1 double stick popsicle with a head + 1 double stick popsicle with an inverted PA keystone and a head.

    • GayEGO

      Nor ugly signs like this one with the Devil’s color black.

  • VodkaAndPolitics

    What I learned in college, and was reinforced when I went to Seminary, was that if you intentionally misattribute a statement to an author, it’s a breach of Academic Integrity, and grounds for disciplinary action, up to and including expulsion.

    • Octavio

      Jesus don’t care.

      • TampaDink

        According to The Doobie Brothers….

        Jesus is just alright. So they really only hold him in moderate esteem.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm34aGogGd0

        • Octavio

          Yeah. But after recording that POS Michael MacDonald joined the group and forced them to write California fern bar cocaine and white wine music. I was there. Sadly, I remember. 🙁

          • TampaDink

            Obviously, you didn’t partake of enough doobies, white wine, cocaine and ferns to have affected your memory. ☺

          • Octavio

            Bartender Rule #1: If you work drunk or loaded you miss out on tips. 🙂

          • TampaDink

            I wasn’t professionally trained and have been primarily “self-serving” all of my adult life. ☺

          • Anastasia Beaverhousen

            Huh? What were you talking about?

          • TampaDink

            That was my silly reply to Octavio’s earlier reply:

            “Yeah. But after recording that POS Michael MacDonald joined the group and forced them to write California fern bar cocaine and white wine music. I was there. Sadly, I remember. 🙁 “

          • Anastasia Beaverhousen

            I think the doobies , cocaine and wine have affected my memory.

          • TampaDink

            Mine too…..to the 9th power.

          • JT
          • TampaDink

            Evangelist & billboard renters prefer this one:
            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rxWPEdYCnI

          • Octavio

            LOL! That’s one of those pop songs that wanders off into nothing, just like “Don’t walk away, Ranee, the la, la la, la, la, laaaa la . . . .” It’s enough to cause some to drink excessively.

  • KQCA

    Here ’tis…. try the nutroll: http://www.gods-design.org/

    • KQCA

      …and of course they’re pumping for tax-deductible contributions toward their foolish billboards.

      • MattM

        How would they even qualify?

        • Octavio

          They’ve been ordained through http://www.jesuslink.org.

        • KQCA

          MattM, they took the money donated to them and paid for 501c3 status. On their “Pass the Plate” page, they posted….
          “God’s Original Design Ministry is a non-profit 501(c)(3) public charity.
          Donations may be tax deductible for US federal income tax purposes.”

  • Timothy Kincaid

    If they can afford 999 billboards, surely they can afford to stay in business

    • vorpal

      Right wing math: they only have 10 fingers, so anything above that is just a made up number designed to sound impressive.

    • Anastasia Beaverhousen

      It’s so much easier to collect money than to actually earn it. Ask any street corner beggar.

  • oikos

    Money for futile billboards means less for conservative political candidates.

  • TampaZeke

    HALLELUJAH! I fully endorse this, and ANY other campaign that will separate homophobic fools from their money to invest in windmill tilting that will do absolutely NOTHING to harm us. It keeps them distracted from investing in, and doing things that might actually cause us harm.

  • motordog

    God ‘needs’ their help? I don’t think such a concept even exists in their bibul. He never pleads for anything, he DEMANDS it…or ELSE!

    • barracks9

      Right. Isn’t their tired trope “let go and let god”? Well, if god can’t pony up the $$ for billboards, why should anyone else?

  • AtticusP

    This god guy has some pretty shitty design skills…

    • David Gervais

      Well yeah, when he made that woman, he put a recreation area right between two waste disposal facilities.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        ‘A woman can be proud and stiff
        When on love intent;
        But Love has pitched his mansion in
        The place of excrement;
        For nothing can be sole or whole
        That has not been rent.’

        from Crazy Jane Talks With The Bishop – Poem by William Butler Yeats

  • Bob from CT

    I see that the second male figure on that billboard is wearing a tailcoat.

  • RNegron

    999 billboards for God
    999
    put one up, let it shine
    998 left to go
    998 billboards …

  • Giant Monster Gamera

    What does God need with a billboard?

    • Ed Burrow

      Shit! You beat me by like 12 minutes! Lol

      • Giant Monster Gamera

        Heh, I thought for sure someone would beat me. It’s such a logical response.

    • bambinoitaliano

      God was waiting for his cataract surgery, he’s a bit blur on the vision department. The pair he borrow from Rick Perry is just a prop.

    • TampaDink

      Because talking snakes are so B.C.?

  • BudClark

    If God had WANTED to, SHE could have turned us into faerie dust at any point in history.

    She didn’t.

    She just sprinkled it on us and made us FABULOUS!

  • Yeah But No

    999 bigot-ty billboards on the road
    take one down,
    bury it in the ground
    998 biggot-ty billboards on the road

    • Octavio

      Flip that 999 upside down. See what happens? Yes! It’s true! It’s all true! They are minions of the Beast! Watch that space.

      • Nychta

        I hope the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse gets wind of that.

        • TampaDink

          I hope he gets winded from carrying his keyboard down to the river for the umpteenth time.

  • Michael

    The money being spent on this nonsense could instead by used to help the homeless and hungry. Jesus commands us to help the poor and needy, not erect billboards.

    • vorpal

      Heh… erect.
      Particularly timely given the supposed impotence of this god with his desperate pleas for help.
      I wonder if they will accept donations of /|@[email protected] to give him a much needed confidence boost?

      • bambinoitaliano

        You mean the sky is not actually blue but god’s Viagra vision? Shit it’s been like that for more than 8 hours.

        • Steve Teeter

          He should see a doctor, stat,

  • Robert Conner

    This is the same God who rained fire and brimstone on Sodom and drowned Pharaoh in the Red Sea? The same Guy who wiped out the Canaanites? Now He’s recruiting hillbillies to help him defeat a bunch of girly men? Maybe since all those sacrifices of animals stopped He’s not getting enough iron in His diet. Or maybe it’s just low T–there’s a lot of that going around among aging divinities.

    • And the same God who revealed to his Messenger that His design for marriage was 1 man + 4 women.

  • MattM

    They didn’t even have the funds to set up a modern website. How do they expect to grift enough $$$ to buy even one more billboard?

    • Delusions of grandeur and all that + ignoring the fact that the anti-gay market is already saturated with groups that are looking to collect money from the same kind of people that they would need to get money from. If they wanted a bigger splash they should have started with more than one billboard so they are off to a bad start already.

  • bambinoitaliano

    That just does not add up. No wonder nothing they ever said make sense.

  • MikeBx2

    Nowhere in their bible does it say adults of the same sex can’t get married. It does say that getting divorced and remarried in most cases is adultery. But for some odd reason those who push for biblical marriage laws, don’t seem to care about that. If they add the words, “for life” and “outlaw no fault divorce’, then I’d possibly have a little more respect for them, although I still wouldn’t agree with their religious nonsense.

  • AtticusP

    Bitter delusional Christianists, blighting American interstates, one ugly billboard at a time.

  • Ed Burrow

    Ala star trek 5….what does god need with a billboard?

    • Reality.Bites

      About the same as he needs with ministers and other clergy. God could communicate with all of us, any time he wanted, with no room for doubt or miscommunication. And there’s no reasonable explanation as to why he wouldn’t have been doing exactly that if he existed. Even the bible is pretty big on telling us that’s exactly what he likes to do.

  • Cuberly

    Land sakes, think of all those poor poor opposite sex couples that can’t get married any more. A travesty!

  • Jim

    What EXACTLY is this billboard supposed to do? God doesn’t have any special standing before the law, so what’s he supposed to do for the Odgaards? To date he hasn’t exactly been supportive of these two.

  • oikos

    After reading the comments I can say the blaze is a bastion of sanity. /s

  • Mary Alice Louise. These people. SMDH

  • dcurlee

    So let’s spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on an issue that is done. God forbid they would use that money to help the homeless and families in need

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Sorry people,that they are IOWA fundies.
    I will do what I can to show them that sodomy is actually quite fine, not a sin and definitely NON of their fucking business.

  • ScottChicago

    I guess God isn’t that omnipotent after all.

  • LovesIrony

    Stupid Fucks

  • TexPlant

    You would think he could afford a billboard a little more snazzy than that.

    Plus, he has some questionable friends in Cruz and Huckleberry

    • NZArtist

      And that beardy chap who just stabbed people at the gay pride in Israel.

  • Raybob
  • Nexus1

    My reaction after reading that billboard…
    http://media.giphy.com/media/133tEQgc0V3Dc4/giphy.gif

    Seriously their all knowing, all powerful, omnipotent God needs our help? That is actually more insulting to religious people than it is a rallying call. Oh well I guess the dinosaurs need to bray at that asteroid a few more times before it hits.

    http://cdn4.thetechjournal.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/dinosaur-800×500.jpg

    • Considering this how many of the devout believe, that seems like a reasonable assumption.

      http://s5.postimg.org/lwynai3tz/tumblr_lo14ot5vs_C1qze11co1_500.jpg

      • Nexus1

        lol Is that one of the young earth creationists ‘explanations’ to why there are dinosaur fossils?

        • Yep. It’s straight from the Duggar Home Skool Jebus Approved Study Guide.

      • Snarkaholic
        • David Gervais

          I was just looking for that!

          • leastyebejudged

            I thought it was ‘cus those tiny hands made it impossible to masturbate…

          • Steve Teeter

            That would kill me. It sure would.

        • leastyebejudged

          I stopped smoking two months ago, and that cartoon made me crave a cigg. FML.

      • Years go I read a serious article — by a palaeontologist, yet — which expounded the author’s theory that the dinosaurs became extinct because they (or at least some of them) were intelligent enough to develop civilisation and technology and invent the Bomb. Which led to the very first World War I and their blowing themselves all up.

        It struck me as being just as believable as the creationists’ explanation of what happened to them.

        • If they can star in another Jurassic Park movie, then that sounds totes plausible to me.

        • leastyebejudged

          Wait… That was a sci-fi short story wasn’t it ?

        • cleos_mom

          Amazing achievement for an organism without opposable thumbs.

  • ArchiLaw

    They can’t afford to keep their business open, but they’re going to pay for 1000 billboards. Hmmm . . .

  • bambinoitaliano

    God asking for help is like Brian Brown begging for money, the turd does not fall far for this out house. Bunch of socialists and communists looking for bloody free hand out!

  • Octavio

    Send them a little note at [email protected] and let them know what you all think. They are standing by just waiting for human contact. 🙂

  • bambinoitaliano

    Of course according to the one million mom math, they meant 8 more billboards.

  • Marides48

    God needs billboards to spread his message? Well, look at the mess he made with the Bibull. I think as with everything else he creates, he’s going to fuck-up these billboards too.

  • Gustav2

    If I can’t follow the law and run a legal business… GRIFT!!

  • MattM

    The always lovely Linda Harvey posted a piece on Barbwire about those homodeviants taking over the Boy Scouts.

    http://barbwire.com/2015/07/30/0800-boy-scouts-corruption-of-truth-whats-next/

    I’d write something snarky there but they banned me.

    • leastyebejudged

      It’s so easy to earn a ban there…

    • Ginger Snap

      I email Linda Harvey directly when I want to have a back and forth with a hateful human. She always replies so feel free to contact her if you can stomach her.
      [email protected]

  • oikos

    They need donations for their cause. I suggest a nice black and white print of Tom of Finland mailed with a Harvey Milk stamp.

    God’s Original Design Ministry, Inc.
    P.O. Box 314
    Johnston, Iowa 50131

    • leastyebejudged

      Or a plastic baggie with some flour in it. So they can bake a cake. yeah. Bake a cake.

  • Mark

    Perhaps dog will arrange for the signs to be hit by lightning or high winds showing his/her displeasure with these assholes.

  • Kent Calhoun

    1000 of these….times how much to rent a billboard….equals a lot of food and shelter. But this makes more sense……NOT.

    • Leo Tallant

      Just so no one gets confused, he is the taller one.

      • TampaDink

        Interchangeable adorable bears. Works for me. ☺

  • BobSF_94117

    []

  • Rick

    Marriage = 1 Man and 1 Man Wearing a Skirt?

    • NZArtist

      What do you have against Scotts?

      • David Gervais

        Scots

      • Reality.Bites

        They’re responsible for Mel Gibson being able to make Braveheart. But the real blame goes to Australia for Gallipoli.

    • One man and one drag queen?

  • jessi

    kind of a lame ass god if he needs help. what happened to omnipotent?

  • Ian

    You never forget your first…grift.

  • bkmn

    Why would their god care about a civil marriage?

    • Giant Monster Gamera

      Remember, this is the same god that cares about who wins a football game.

      • M Jackson

        And his favorite pop singers are always the ones who win their awards.

    • oikos

      Because they create god in their own image, she’s a busybody

  • BaddogLtd

    I hope this helps, your Holiness. Next time get a better graphic designer.

    • oikos

      Is it customary for the grooms to have a golden shower before the wedding?

      • BaddogLtd

        Pretty soon we’ll all be taking golden showers. This is Kent Brockman signing off.

      • Maybe not, but God evidently considers toilet-door symbols are more effective means of communication than words.

        • leastyebejudged

          I’m offended that Christians make marriage so… Scatalogical…

  • bryan

    Maybe god should pray to his non existent self.

  • JoeNCA

    So awful that 1 man and 1 woman can’t get married.

    Oh wait, they already can. What are they complaining about?

  • pleasebereasonable

    What kind of pathetic gawd cant fix shit on his own?

  • Stev84

    I thought got was supposed to all-powerful

  • Gerry Fisher

    I’m confused! They’re about their religious freedom! They aren’t about stopping marriage equality!!! (kidding)

  • Albert Ross

    What a weak ass god.

  • BaddogLtd

    This bit never stops feeling relevant

  • Ninja0980

    Looks like someone wants to cash in on the anti-gay hate.

    • Gustav2

      Do you think they might be pissing off NOM for doing NOM’s job? C’mon, competition for a diminishing number of donors.

      • If Brian Brown did hear about these billboards it would probably be by reading Joe My God…. this billboard thing isn’t exactly the most high profile campaign around. But yeah, he would much rather they give money to him as opposed to putting up their own billboards.

  • Jack_Carter_USA

    I suspect the Odgaards will quickly discover that tax-free grifting off the stupid and gullible as part of their nonprofit “church” is far more lucrative than their old for-profit business ever was.

    • Octavio

      I first thought, “Osgaards? That race of sterile aliens in Star Gate?” Then it finally clicked that Odgaards is the name of the scamgelical couple. LOL!

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      And a lot less work.

  • TexasBoy

    Isn’t A God that requires the help of mere mortals not really a God? Why does God need a Starship?

  • Bill

    Poor, poor god.

  • 2patricius2

    Is this the same god who told Rick Perry and Mike Hucksterabee and Rick Santorum and other clowns to run for president? He is quite a trickster, I would suggest.

  • LovesIrony

    My love for my husband and our marriage is stronger than god

    • leastyebejudged

      As much as I love The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy, I have to also say the same…

  • Reality.Bites

    Countering hate with love, a scene from last night’s Amazing Race Canada.

    Note: the guys in purple and the guys with beards are both teams of brothers. The team in grey are an engaged couple.

    https://youtu.be/nZLwSjGFqBc

  • Tom (Winnipeg)

    The only possible explanation that I can see for this desperate activity is mental illness.

    • TampaDink

      Mental illness….but let’s not forget recruitment & fear/panic based income.

    • Ben in Oakland

      Do you mean to tell me that the word GREED never once occurred to you?

  • Jack_Carter_USA

    Their deity can’t be all that if he needs the help of puny humans to “protect” marriage. I mean, back in the day, God didn’t screw around, what with all the plagues and earthquakes and floods and volcanoes and such. When He was ticked, He let you know it. Now He’s apparently a 98-pound weakling who can’t do jack without these Bible-humpers’ help.

    Or maybe their claim about their deity is a crock and they’re just in it for the cash. Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s the latter.

    • Steve Teeter

      God’s been around for a long time. He’s just getting old and feeble.

  • anne marie in philly

    LOSERS! I smell an epic FAIL in the making!

  • Jan Wesselius

    God doesn’t need help with anything.

    • another_steve

      “God” understood broadly and with an open and loving heart, yes.

      Kudos to you, Jan.

  • David Gervais

    There seem to be a lot of gullible people out there. If their grift gets going, I bet they stall out 666!

  • safari2bongaloo

    Response: “Okay, let’s sit down and explain to you how this works.”

  • Bj Lincoln

    BFD. They can waste all the money they want but it won’t change the law.

  • Phil

    A martyr is someone who dies for their faith. These bozos are still alive and kicking, unfortunately. A more apt term would be “people with martyr complexes.”

    An even more apt term is “cake-martyr complex,” used to indicate individual(s) who are drama queens in the wedding industry who are unable to grasp the concept of equal access to public accommodations for LGBT persons.

    • cleos_mom

      I’m hoping the expression “cake martyr” becomes a common slang term for someone who indulges in self-pity orgies over matters several levels below life-or-death status.

  • kanehau

    Love + Love… is all you need!

    • Reality.Bites
    • noni

      Maybe someone could project some laser lights on the signs that cause your suggestion to be displayed.

      • kanehau

        Or we could all pool funds and put these up as countering billboareds.

      • William

        A paintbrush and roller should do it.

  • Refugay

    First they planned for 666 more but then they decided to go for an even thousand.

  • Gigi

    Isn’t pretending to speak for God against their rules? Also, is God so pathetic that he needs help from haters and bigots to get things done?

  • JCF

    “God Launches Desperate Ad Campaign”
    Correction: God had NOTHING to do w/ this.

  • Larry Larson

    “The Odgaards say they are planning 999 more.”

    999 is just an upside down 666!

    • leastyebejudged

      NICE CATCH !

  • Geezus Christ

    I prayed for God to legalize same-sex marriage and I didn’t pay for even one billboard. I’m so happy that he listened to me instead.

  • M Jackson

    So you’re telling me that God has flop sweat?

  • ColdCountry

    Isn’t this like closing the barn door after the horse is gone?

  • Mawm

    God needs a paramilitary death squad.

  • 1 out of 1000….of to a great start there. I guess the full
    number is dependent on how much cash they can pull in, and the same goes for the duration I would assume. At least they can take encouragement that they don’t need very many to have more advertising then NOM has.

  • noni

    where is this sign located within durant, ok?

    update: Billboard #1 went up July 24, 2015!! It’s a 14’x48′ lighted beauty located on US 69/75 greeting north bound traffic 5 miles south of Durant, OK.

    https://www.facebook.com/385178348336466/photos/pb.385178348336466.-2207520000.1438309340./435449726642661/?type=1&theater

  • GreatLakeSailor

    Omnipotent god begs puny humans for help.
    How does that all fit together logically?

    • BudClark

      What is this “logic” that you speak of?

      • GreatLakeSailor

        Like, Only Gods’ “Intelligence” Clicks

        (little lame, 1st cup o’joe)

  • crankyd

    Seriously, what is wrong with these people?
    WE WON, YOU LOST.
    The difference in this game is that you had to give up NOTHING.

  • joe ho

  • Arkansan

    I thought he was pitched as a powerful God. Seems like this billboard would piss him off, if he were real.

    • StuckNtexas

      Exactly my thoughts. Not so omnipotent, I guess.

  • teedofftaxpayer

    Now all we need is a good lightning strike on that billboard.

  • After we we take care of Bob and Bill, we can take care of Moesha and Hannah. – The Odgaards

  • Eric in Oakland

    “…to defend traditional marriage as an institution that is comprised of only one man and one woman.”

    Defend it from what? Is someone out there divorcing straight couples against their will or making them take extra spouses? They don’t want to defend anything, since they know there is no threat to their marriage. Their real goal is to attack, not defend.

  • Desmond Rutherford

    So finally we have an admission that god got his ideas from humans. Why else would he post for help on his design website?
    Cut out the middle god go straight to the atheists.

  • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

    So, marriage is the union of one men’s room sign and one ladies’ room sign… now, I got it. 🚹 🚺 🚾

  • Max_1
  • leastyebejudged

    I don’t get the billboard…

    Marriage equals one bathroom stall lady and one bathroom stall man ?

    Kinda creepy…

  • I’ve said it before, I will say it again…

    Anyone who thinks Obergefell was a final victory is a blind, historically ignorant fool. This decades-long fight was but the first shot in a long war.

    • Macbill

      Look how long African Americans have been fighting for civil rights! You are right: we won a significant fight: there is much yet to overcome.

  • TexPlant

    Looks like god needs to read up on some of the latest SCOTUS decisions.

  • Silver Badger

    Their all powerful, all seeing, all knowing god needs to ask for help on a bill board? Really? Sounds like SOMEONE needs a vacation. Do you suppose Zeus could fill in for a few weeks?

  • MrVinegar

    That’s one impotent omnipotent being.

  • cleos_mom

    Odd thing, this notion of the Creator of the universe that we know needing the “help” of Earthbound human beings.

    Religious legalists of the Christian variety are very vocal about their god being omnipotent, omniscient and unchanging “yesterday, today and forever.” Phrases like “our god is an awesome god” are popular, suggestive as that one is of perpetual adolescence.

    But in addition to having a suspiciously humanoid appetite for flattery and butt-kissing, this is a regional god even on a planetary level. In the Sodom story, the biblical god apparently has only suspicions of the situation in the “cities of the plain” and has to send scouts who are themselves as physically vulnerable as Lot and his family. He can be manipulated by appeals to vanity, which the prologue to the book of Job makes clear. And proponents of whole idea of a sacrificial “plan for salvation” insist that their god really doesn’t want to send anyone to hell, but his hands are tied outside of this particular formula.

    And then there’s the Gospel reference to the Jewish god having allowed polygamy in the old days due to the “hardness of your hearts” but now having a different perspective on that. So here’s a god who embraces relativism to an extent and whose MO changes with time and culture.

    I suspect the deity the biblical god aspired to being doesn’t care whether people of the same gender marry. Nor, for that matter, does It care if people want to gamble, drink alcohol, use playing cards, eat pork, eat meat, consume dairy products or if women go out in public with heads uncovered. Those are all things that human bureaucrats lose sleep over.

    • Ben in Oakland

      Don’t forget the most damning thing of all. The sin of Sodom never actually occurred. The angels struck everyone blinded before their hot date with all the people of the town.

  • Tawdry D’Tails

    “What does god need with a starship?”
    Even the future has to worry about fakirs and charlatans….

  • NMNative

    That’s the best laugh I’ve had in days. Really? Their sky god needs a bill board to raise money to stop the gays? What a hoot.

  • Boy Elvis

    See? Not even God can handle us homos anymore, that’s how powerful we have become.

    • Macbill

      Homos Rule!!!!!

  • Clive Johnson

    So, some human contrived a statement meant to be understood as indicative of the deity’s wishes. But couldn’t the deity could announce himself at any time and make his wishes known? Surely he’s in perfect agreement with the Christian conservative on same sex marriage. Instead there’s cosmic silence. God is the Christian’s ventriloquist’s dummy.

    Next, the content of the message contradicts this god’s alleged omnipotence. Why does omnipotence need any help? Why isn’t my god doing my wishes on command?, asks the believer. (Which is another way of saying, Why isn’t the reification of my imagination of this god that I project onto the world actually manifesting? Why isn’t magic happening?) Indeed this god seems to be helpless in the face of The Agenda. Where is this god? Off in the corner playing with himself? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

    Without his believers, this god would disappear.

  • Oh, the things real Christians could do with that billboard money …

  • Pablo from Miami

    999 is 666 upside down. Just saying.

  • Ben in Oakland

    There’s always this.

  • Ben in Oakland

    Well. That didn’t work.

    There’s always this.

  • Michael Hampton

    So because they had to pay $5,000, they are going to waste tens of thousands of dollars on these billboards? And how is this a non-profit organization? I smell a money beg. A tax free money beg.

  • GayEGO

    Euwww! That color of that sign is black as in the devil, definitely not written by God! :>)

  • Gregory Peterson

    Given my bad chromosome, bad back and near-sighted eyes, I’d say that God could have done a better design job. Where do I file a law suit for damages?

  • Chris Larosa

    This is just one of the many ways the fundamentalists have lost it. If you’re a fundamentalist, you believe that God does NOT need your help – remember that thing called ‘omnipotence’? Over the decades since they have become politically active a la Jerry Falwell, these pseudo Christians have lost patience with God and, by their actions clearly don’t believe he’s in control anymore, thus, billboards like this declaring he needs our help. This is just one of many ‘signs’ of this. How pathetic.