Todd Starnes: Trump Has A Big Dick

  • Amanda B. Rekendwith

    Americans want moobs??

    • clay

      enough to fill a red latex bra

  • Webslinger

    this is more like it…

    • zhera

      Add an anus in the place of the mouth and it’s spot on!

      • No, that’s this guy.

        • zhera


        • ZhyKitty


        • Doug105

          Its not highlander the republicans clearly have more than one.

        • KCMC

          wouldn’t think him as a waxer/shaver/bleacher

    • JT

      Shouldn’t there be a pubic “cloud” of hair over that head too?


    A love poem by Todd Starnes

    • ZhyKitty


    • Snarkaholic

      The second stanza:
      I met Donald Trump in Savannah…
      where he liked to play the piannah…
      one day, his hand slipped…
      his zipper ripped…
      …and out came the hairy banana.

      • Snarkaholic

        D.T.’s return letter:
        Todd S., who’s way less than appealing…
        was put into prison for stealing…
        He lay on his back…
        dreamed about my butt crack…
        …and jazzed all over the ceiling.

  • Marides48

    So how big are Toddio’s “Man-Parts”?. Not that I want to see them or anything. Just curious.

    • Gene

      now, Marides48..not that you would want to (good to know! lol ) but,.why should YOU get to see them when its unlikely that even Todd has seen them in DECADES?

      • Marides48

        He has the photos to prove it?

      • Soren456

        He has a mirror on the end of a selfie stick, I’m sure.

    • David F.

      I think there was a TV series about that years ago – “In Search Of…”.

      • Gene

        yes…hosted by Nimoy. It hunted for often scary things or mythical things, or things that perhaps it would be best to not find….so, yeah, Todds man parts would have been a topic they would have considered.


    • Bluto


  • Gene

    I suspect todd Starnes thinks about “man parts” more than even most of the men who post on this site.

    • bkmn

      This is basically Todd’s thought process.

      • Joe in PA

        I mistakenly clicked on Joe’s picture above…Joe cleverly named the image: StarnesDick.jpg.


        • Cattleya1

          I’ll bet dimes to donuts ol’ Todd has something of a micro-penis – and nuts to match.

      • Palto


    • Sk3ptic

      I must admit I think about them a lot…

      • Gene

        awww…you cute little otters always do πŸ™‚

        (a good thing!)

      • Eebadee-eebadee-thatsallfolks

        Me too! What are the odds?

    • JT

      Maybe someone should ask him who has the biggest man parts in the Republican party.

  • Gyeo

    Fuck off Starnes. Don’t use the Killing Field as though you own the rights to it. Fuckers like you are partly responsible for it anyways. (And guess what? Women who were pregnant during Pol Pot were force to carry their pregnancy to term just to watch the baby die. It would have saved women lives if they the ability to abort the child.) LAY OFF MY PEOPLE’S HISTORY.

  • John Bogeman

    ????? Is Trump going to sign legislation with his penis? Isn’t that more of a side show thing and not something that is presidential?

  • Michael Smith

    Well Trump is a big dick, so he’s half right.

  • Sam_Handwich

    Actually, the was no room for amendments. McConnell had used the “filling the tree” maneuver on the bill that was on the floor.

    So Mike Lee’s Planned Parenthood amendment was OUT OF ORDER.

    • Gene

      and I believe he had to “fill the tree” to circumvent a play by Cruz? is that correct? if so…Thanks Ted! you were actually useful for something.

    • Gustav2

      The Truth does not make you FREEEEEEEDOM!!!!!

  • AtticusP

    Poor Todd. He doesn’t know the difference between the verbs “has” and “is”.

  • Gustav2

    The reason we have to continue to fund Planned Parenthood is because even men with little teeny tiny man parts like Starnes can ‘get the job done.’

    • Eric in Oakland

      And isn’t it disgusting for Todd to be talking about using “man parts” to harm low income women (by shutting down Planned Parenthood)? It sounds like a rape metaphor to me.

  • MikeBx2

    This is why Trump is being able to help continue the implosion of the Repub party. Starnes and Fox News are telling their listeners and viewers that “Trump is surging in the polls” with Americans, when the fact is he’s only surging with a small percentage of the extreme conservative base.

    • Yep. Kind of how FOX “News” has the highest ratings, but really doesn’t attract all that many viewers. The crazy base congregates around Trump (like they do FOX). The rest of the Republican field spits the percentages down to crumbs.

  • SunsetGay

    Trump telling his supporters he has a big penis is much like Kim Jung Un telling his people he doesn’t piss nor defecate. Granted, both are supported by Dennis Rodman so we shouldn’t underestimate the gullibility of Trump voters.

    • ZhyKitty

      Wait… his people really believe that he doesn’t go to the bathroom?

      • SunsetGay

        I don’t think the people of North Korea actually believe that but it is propagated in NK.

        See, both Americans and North Koreans may be forced to listen to our respective Donald Trumps but neither truly believes what they say.

        • ZhyKitty

          That’s just such a bizarre thing to put out there though, don’t you think?
          I wonder why he tells them that?
          How odd…

          • madknits

            It equates him with a deity. Gods don’t need to defecate or urinate, so if Kim Jung Un doesn’t, then he must be a god. There are all sorts of myths surrounding the birth of his grandfather (the typical ones, he was born on the holy mountain, there were celestial portents, comets, stars, etc, when he was born, and so on).

          • Well, if he doesn’t need toilet paper why should they?

        • Gyeo

          Reports from defectors say that many North Koreans doesn’t believe in those propaganda but when you’re in a totalitarian regime what can you do about it.

  • zhera

    Killing Fields: Because Nazi ovens have already been used today in the religious right’s war on reality.

  • Jack_Carter_USA

    Why am I not surprised Starnes is obsessed with dicks?

    • Eric in Oakland

      Based on the context, the “man parts” that Todd is fantasising about are probably testicles rather than dick. It’s odd that he used such a vague euphemism though…

  • Octavio

    Although I haven’t seen Trump’s dick (who really wants to?) I suspect it is wide at the base and narrows at the end. Most likely uncut. And definitely not longer than 5.5 inches — if that. Then there’s his pubic fat. There’s enough fat down there to obscure anything slightly interesting.

    Now, excuse me while I do a little projectile vomiting. Suddenly lunch isn’t setting well. πŸ™

    • bkmn

      You left out the part about his pubic comb-over.

      • Smooth down there. All transplanted up top, or donated to Rand Paul.

      • TampaDink

        That visual image made me laugh….harder than I should.

    • brian

      Yeah. Thanks for that. All the sudden food is not sounding like something I want bout now.

    • zhera

      Why do you hate us, Octavio? Why would you be so mean? 😒

      • ZhyKitty

        Seriously. lol

    • So, given his general orange hue, kind of like a miniature traffic cone?

    • BearEyes

      brain bleach

    • rextrek1

      a white / purplish / moley / freckly / pimply melting body…..stuffed into a Murdle (man-gurtle)

    • Gene

      no one has seen his Trumps dick except for a group of brave, desperate, highly paid foreign adventurers….

      all from Eastern Europe if memory serves.

      • Piet

        One from the Georgia in the US. But just as bleached — oop, I mean blonde — as the others.

    • MarkOH

      Ugh. You made me unswallow

  • We should start twittering him pics of some man parts and let him pick which should be in charge.

  • oikos

    Someone is in love. <3

  • MarkOH

    And that’s why Lindsey Graham will have Trump backing him.

    • BearEyes

      I see what you did there.

      • MarkOH


  • TampaDink

    Has? Doubtful. Is? Most definitely.

  • DaveMiller135

    Donald Trump is definitely a big dick.

    • bambinoitaliano

      And not in a good way.

  • Jmdintpa

    sorry to say it like this but im sure that little sniveling queen jerks his little man parts thinking about trumps big man parts all the time. thats what it all boils down to for his type… size queen… tell me this little squeak hasnt sucked one before

    • Todd E.

      I’m sure he has, but not gonna lie, don’t wanna think about it too much — just ate lunch!

  • Todd E.

    Does Todd ‘My Face is a Canned Ham’ Starnes seriously think he’s a legit journalist? What a complete joke!

    • clay

      In the great journalistic tradition of Limpballs and Glennnnn Beck.

  • Reality.Bites

    Has Trump ever said anything about abortion?

    • Sam_Handwich

      he changed to “pro-life” when he was sniffing around the clown car in 2011

    • BearEyes

      he was pro-choice years ago. now has flipped/flopped to being against. R’s are ok since the flip/flop is now in their favour.

      • Bill_Perdue

        β€œOver the past two decades he was a Republican, then an independent, then a Democrat, then a Republican. Now, registered as an independent, he leads the Republican 2016 presidential field.” From Politico via Taegan Goddard’s Political Wire –

        Just like HRH HRC, except substitute Dixiecrat for independent. Hillary Clinton has never been independent and has always been a loyal tool of the banksters. Trump has always exemplified the bankster class.

  • oikos

    Somebody is anglin for First Lady.

    • Robert

      bahahahahahaha….i expect to see this troll running through any heavily forested area on the down low

      • Snarkaholic

        …straight toward the nearest rest stop!

  • Canned Ham Dreams

    Todd wants the Donald to slide his manhood back-and-forth in that massive part on the side of his canned-ham head. Todd gets fatter just thinking about it.

  • Elsewhere1010

    Sort of like the Roman Emperor Elagabalus (218-222 CE) who, while not having a big penis himself, sent agents throughout the empire to find men who did have big penises to sent to Rome to “serve” their emperor.

    But if any of those agents had ever send Elagabalus a man with such short, stubby fingers are Trump has, the agent would have been executed on the spot.

    • ZhyKitty

      I learn something new every day at JMG.

      • Johnny Wyeknot

        I know! Isn’t it fabulous!

  • The GOP created this monster and now it’s turned on them. It was bound to happen.

    • Stephanie Miller played an extended “Young Frankenstein” clip this morning of Reince Priebus (Gene Wilder) telling Trump (Peter Boyle) that he wasn’t a monster, and he wasn’t evil. Very funny, and spot on.

  • FuBear

    How typical is that?
    Someone so Anti-Gay seems to have an ongoing fascination about the man parts of someone else…
    Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

  • Blake Jordan

    In these polls that have Trump over 10 points ahead of rethuglican candidate number 2, who is allowed to answer?

    It would not surprise me if democrats and independents are saying Trump for “shits and giggles”…

  • Ham Hobbit

    That fucking necktie looks more like a bib on this undersexed overgrown ham hobbit.

  • Bill T.

    Todd is enamored with the Donald because Magic Mike isn’t running.

    • Johnny Wyeknot


  • LovesIrony

    John Holmes for president

    • Twice As Nice

      Diphallic Dude for President AND Vice-President.

  • Michael Hampton

    Todd proves once again that he is a disgrace to the term “journalist.” If he wants to be a preacher so badly, he should just go do that.

  • penpal

    It’s interesting he associates recklessness, spite for others, and bullying with manliness. My bet is that he has some serious daddy issues that he should be getting therapy for.

  • geoffalnutt

    Like this?

  • Pugsandcoffee

    Why are so many right-wing “straight” men so freaking obsessed with dick?


    “Americans want leaders with man-parts big enough to do the right thing.”

    That’s why I want Hillary to be President.

    Thank you. I’ll be here all week.

  • Spongebob CrankyPants

    This just confirms that Todd Starnes is indeed a size queen.

  • Hank Drake

    I’d rather not know anything about Donald’s Donald.

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      I suspect it is a decent size and turns bluish when hard. Kind of a flat head to it.

  • Joe in PA

    gee, and I thought tRump was running for the presidency, not a senate seat. Huh.

  • JustSayin’

    The NY Times today points out that the polls being released with trumps surge were all started (and mostly completed) before his ridiculous statements. That it is the starting polling date not the release date that are relevant to the standings today… if the questions started 3 weeks ago, but released today, things may have changed drastically between the times.

  • LovesIrony

    todd stearns: size queen

  • bambinoitaliano

    Todd Starnes drag name is Iwanna Trump.

    • JCF

      Iwanna Hump Trump!

  • ChitownKev

    damn, Todd, TMI!

  • MBear

    I was really grossed out by that.
    And then I was wondering if Trump’s pubes look like the ScalpFerret on his head and I barf’d…wasn’t even a little in my mouth, it was all over.

    Cleanup on Aisle 3!

  • ColdCountry

    I bet writing that got him all a-tingle.

  • Max_1

    Todd Starnes…
    … Another ‘straight’ man focused on male genitalia.

  • delk

    Funny how cowards try to be tough guys. Pasty stupid white guy mocking pasty old white guy with a pasty rich white guy.

  • SFBruce

    My only surprise is that Trump didn’t make this claim first.

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    So, meaning no disrespect to anyone here and not trying to sound naive, but can we now consider Starnes a size queen?

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      More like penis envy.

      • Wynter Marie Starr

        That makes much more sense.

  • I don’t ‘even want to know how he found this out.

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      At the YMCA, of course!

  • ArchiLaw

    And if anyone’s an expert on small dicks, it’s Todd.

  • LonelyLiberal

    Plus his dick is embossed with the name, “Trump Tower.”

  • dcurlee

    Always thinking about the dick aren’t ya Todd

  • Alpha 50327

    A pederast tweets what?

  • justmeeeee

    That’s funny–Ivana said it was shrimp-sized.

    • Kissmagrits

      Ivana was also quoted after their divorce:
      “Don’t get angry. Get everything!”

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Jumbo shrimp?

  • SJWinCMH

    If Todd wants someone with big man parts then why doesn’t he support the president more?

  • Ginger Snap

    So i’m convinced now that the right wingnuts are obsessed about cock, butt sex, incest, rape and God. Go suck some dick and sit on one already.

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Todd is just trying to be cool.

    • anne marie in philly

      and man on dog – you forgot that one.

      • Ginger Snap

        Oops, sorry I just don’t think about those things like the saved by god crowd so I always leave one out.

        • anne marie in philly

          that’s ok; two heads are better than one, I always say! πŸ™‚

  • kiltedyak

    Well if anyone knows how big The Donald’s junk is, I am betting it would be Starnes. Must pain him to have to spit the dick out of his mouth.

  • Kissmagrits

    Toddy, Toddy, Toddy!

    You roly-poly little dickens! How long has it been since you’ve actually seen yours without using a mirror and an awkward posture? Hmmm?

    As for cojones, not to worry – Hillary keeps an extra pair.

  • I get from this Toad Starnes want so suck Trump’s dick.

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    I wonder if it curved off to the right when he used to get hard?

  • josephsinger

    Todd Starnes is the big dick.

  • rusty57

    Define ‘big’ Todd.

  • Happy Dance

    The headline nearly made me choke!!

  • leastyebejudged

    Any way you read this… Gross

  • JCF

    Consistent w/ his Trump-Love, Todd assumes the position:

  • BudClark

    And just HOW does Todd Starnes know how big Donald Trump’s man-parts are, hmmm?

  • Halloween_Jack

    And by “Americans” he means “Todd’s lips.”