Today At Harlem’s Hate Church

(Photo by JMG reader Mike)

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    Please don’t let that say what I think it says.

    • JT

      Wingnuts have moved from dogs to horses for their fantasies.

      • Bj Lincoln

        Bigger dicks.

        • medaka

          ding ding ding!

          • LonelyLiberal

            I know this, Alex! “What’s the sound a prostate makes when getting banged by genitals like those of donkeys?”

        • MarkOH

          Just like the Bible says:
          “There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.”

          Ezekiel 23:20

        • RobynWatts

          If we are comparing sizes between cockroaches.

      • RobynWatts

        But in their fantasies. the poor dears will always be stuck playing the part of jackasses anyway.

  • Jack_Carter_USA

    Don’t hold back, Jimmy. Tell us what you really think.

  • bkmn

    Now we know what Manning was dreaming about last night.

    • medaka

      wet-dreaming about….

  • clay

    So, it’s now actual word salad?

  • Rex

    Wut?

  • tomfromthenews

    WTF?

  • Reality.Bites

    Who’s Bruce Jenner? Any relation to Kaitlyn?

    • Dramphooey

      Some American celebrity of sorts. Possibly a friend of Marion Morrison?

    • fuow

      A relation, maybe.
      A Kardashian, definitely.

      • Marc

        I always confuse the two.

        • TheManicMechanic

          Cardassians have caused far less damage to civilizations than their Kounterparts.

  • Joe in PA

    would someone who speaks crazed-nut-job please explain what this means?

    • JT

      He desires lots of frothy stuff when he has sex with a horse at both ends.

      • Joe in PA

        lol

  • JT

    This nutcase is out of control. He needs to be condemned and removed from his position.

    • MarkOH

      Nah, he’s just doing it for the attention.

      • JT

        Right. They all are.

    • clay

      The sign board needs to be condemned and removed from its position on an historical building, at least.

    • Reality.Bites

      Who could remove him? He’s essentially self-employed.

      • clay

        He’s the head of his own denomination, the socio-cultural offspring of Father Divine and Jim Jones

  • Happy Dance

    Hate speech much? I am sure Caitlyn Jenner was NOT in the Bible.

  • Javier Smith

    Most mentally ill people end up homeless and raving on the street. Glad to know he has avoided at least half of that fate.

  • Sk3ptic

    Comedy gold, that one.

  • Bj Lincoln

    It says THAT in the bible?! WOW! Good thing Bruce isn’t with us any longer.
    This man is a great example of mental illness shielded by religion.

    • clay

      He’s not just shielded, he’s given a position of authority and paid for it.

      • Reality.Bites

        He’s not just shielded, he’s yarnelled.

        • David Walker

          Boooooo. (Wow. Stretched back for that one. Well done.)

          • Reality.Bites

            I had a hell of a time deciding whether to write “yarnelled” or “yarnellded.”

          • David Walker

            You done good.

      • Bj Lincoln

        I am against giving ANY ‘person of the cloth’ extra respect just because. We perpetuate the problem by putting them up on a pedestal

        • JW Swift

          Heh. Not around here, we don’t.

  • Robert Rhea

    Huh?

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    Can someone pass me the Ranch dressing for this word salad?

    • madknits

      Wouldn’t you prefer the creamy Italian?

      • medaka

        Italian STALLION!

  • Dramphooey

    The Bible is pornographic and violent but even it doesn’t say this at all. Apparently Manning is counting on Christians not actually picking up this easily accessible book and reading it.

    • Bj Lincoln

      I have found most christian based churches don’t want their flock to actually read the book. They tell, scream and yell, what they think is says or wants it to say and expect the flock to just listen. Jews and reformed Jews are very different. They discuss and talk about passages and are encouraged to read.

      • B Snow

        Jews are encouraged to question everything. Which reminds me of that old joke:

        Q: Why does a Jew answer every question with another question?
        A: Why shouldn’t a Jew answer every question with another question?

  • Lakeview Bob

    We give this jackass far more attention then he is getting from anyone else.

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      I know, but such fun.

  • Kevin Perez

    I’m going to honestly try to figure this out: Number 1 & 2 are pee and poo respectively. Fellatio-ing pee and poo is probably the same as what that Ssempa guy refers to a lot. End of a horse is where the pee and poo come from. With all that established, I think he is accusing “Bruce Jenner” of deriving sexual pleasure from the waste products of a horse and apparently Moses condemned that behaviour. To be honest, I would too but I’m also certain that Jenner’s transition to female has nothing to do with horses.
    I think the Atlah sign guy has issues.

    • Joe in PA

      Issues? Boy if that isn’t the understatement of 2015! 🙂

      BTW, love your avatar.

    • fuow

      Yeah, I got that, too. Still wondering about two things.
      1) I thought dicks hung ‘down’, not at the ‘end’. Especially well-hung dicks. Hung like a horse dicks.
      2) Number two might also be interesting on the other, er-, end. Can you imagine the santorum that horse left in this man?

    • MattPS

      And among those issues that the Atlah guy has, I’d say that projecting his own perverted zoophilic agenda onto others is pretty high up on the list.

    • DonnaLee

      I truly wonder how many people he’s got supporting him still?

  • AtticusP

    When did they hire Sarah Palin to change the sign on this church?

    • Rick Zajac

      Can she see Russia from there?

  • Webslinger
  • KCMC

    Fellatio is a verb?
    I need to bone up.

    • Joe in PA

      as it were.

    • Rocco Gibraltar

      And how does one fellate a number two? I had another word for that. And stupid bitch “pastor”, he fancies girls and is a Republican.

      • KCMC

        indeed, several other words including, “please.”

      • 2karmanot

        “And how does one fellate a number two?” It’s called polishing the t**d.

    • LonelyLiberal

      Yeah, but it sucks.

      • KCMC

        don’t say that like it’s a bad thing.
        slurp

        • LonelyLiberal

          You delightlfully lustful cockmonster, you.

          • KCMC

            Relentlessly

    • barracks9

      Man, today’s Burma Shave signs suck.

    • Baltimatt

      I see what you did there!

  • Sam_Handwich
    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Perfect Pastor to address Members of Congress.

  • SockMikey

    Drove my Chevy to Leviticus
    But found Leviticus too dry…

    • Joe in PA

      you just had to do it, didn’t you? Put that song in my head for the rest of the day! Bye Bye Miss….

      🙂

      • Bj Lincoln

        At least it’s a good one.

        • Reality.Bites

          And also a long one. At 8 minutes, 33 seconds it will only go through his head 7 times per hour. Imagine if we’d given him an ear worm for the Minute Waltz.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKILwVH_MdM

          • Nychta

            That kid sure can tickle the ivories! I love the video he made with 2Cellos.

            https://youtu.be/6UMla4zYpoc

          • Johnny Wyeknot

            I could have sworn that was the One Minute 48 Seconds Waltz. Quite similar.

      • Steverino

        Drove my Chevy to the levy, my Dodge to the lodge, my Ford to the fjord, my priapus in my Prius…

  • jessi

    is he playing the dozens or is dude’s just saying shit to hear himself think.

    • Bonobo

      think??

    • clay

      He claims he has a world-wide media ministry because he up-loads his video-tapes to YouTube.

  • olandp

    Not only crazy and offensive, but bad grammar too.

    • David Walker

      A triple threat. A trifecta. A trinity of idiocy.

    • People4Humanity

      a holy-rolly-poly!

  • DumbHairyApe

    Leviticus? I thought we were into New Testament stuff now, where one could fellate a unicorn without any issues?

    • fuow

      I thought the unicorns missed the ark?

      • Johnny Wyeknot

        Is that what happened to them? Wow. That breaks my heart.

    • People4Humanity

      For the sakes of those who insist on consensuality, it’s only allowed when the unicorn is horny.

  • Wut? Moses wants to blow a horse ridden by an ex-Olympian who now goes by the name of Caitlyn? I don’t understand religious people.

  • marshlc

    OK, this is just mental illness. Does this man have no friends or family to step in?

    • clay

      His congregation is about the size of an extended family– they don’t actually want outsiders to join, because that would make it harder to feel superior to all those people outside.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    jayzuz ! How many lattes does this guy drink anyway ?

    Whoever ” his people ” are, they need to start slapping.

  • JaniceInToronto

    He really has a way with words, eh?

    • Kate

      He had his way with those words, it’s true.

      • Johnny Wyeknot

        Seems like he would like to have his way with horses too.

  • MBear

    The people speaken in buffalo monkey dishwasher hellbent doorjamb banana foundation

    • Bj Lincoln

      Thanks for the chuckle.

    • Rex

      Finally, something I understand.

      • MBear

        fundango obliterate jabber sullen!

  • Adam

    Such a wonderful establishment! Such an innovative and clever interpretation of the Christian call to love thy neighbor. I simply MUST sign up for their newsletter!
    #sarcasm

  • Bonobo

    This guy must be talking in tongues.

  • Baltimatt

    Isn’t the verb “fellate”?

    Also, shouldn’t it be “whom Moses condemned…”

  • Cosmo Tupper

    May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his pee-pee!

    • SockMikey

      Fleas release me!
      Let me go…

      • Cosmo Tupper

        Wait a minute…..that would be cruel to the fleas. They deserve MUCH better!

      • JW Swift

        Oy!

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      not enough room.

  • VernNYC

    Hmm.. The bible says :

    “Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion.”
    ‭‭Leviticus‬ ‭18:23‬ ‭KJV‬‬

    This is the verse that follows the usual “thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind …” verse.

    This is confusing at best … Unless there’s some news I haven’t heard yet. And how many ends of a horse can one fellate? I thought only windows and that reddit guy could be double hung.

    [maybe the secret message is merely “It is confusion.” And we can ignore the rest of the verse. ]

  • sw42

    WTF is this guy saying? I am very picky about my hate speech. I insist on being able to understand it.

    • David Walker

      Picky picky picky.

  • Bill

    My cat has written clearer sentences.

    • MBear

      I could eat a bowl of Alphabits and shit a better sentence

  • RobynWatts

    Reading between the lines, Manning is actually saying “I need dick. but nobody will play with me as I am a self-loaving, attention seeker, who spouts off Biblical nonsense in order to get a rise out of people.”

    • Harley

      Maybe someone can break in and change his sign to read that. Just one photo before manning runs out to change it.

    • RoFaWh

      Self-loaving?

      He’s made of bread dough that automagically forms itself into loaves?

      • People4Humanity

        He is large and puffy.

  • BudClark

    Leviticus 18:23 – Bible Gateway
    https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?…Leviticus…
    BibleGateway.comNeither
    shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither
    shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is
    confusion.

  • A Big Sarcastic Fairy!

    Will someone just please shut this guy up? Honestly.

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Well, Endora, can’t you just cast a spell on him?

      • A Big Sarcastic Fairy!

        Sorry my witchcraft doesn’t work on lower life forms.

  • Harley

    Why is it that only religious conservatives talk about fellating animals and marrying inanimate objects. Sure is on their minds a lot for some reason.

    • MBear

      christian heterosexual terrorists are always thinking about sex with children & animals. They are vile, disgusting people, bereft of morality, sick with perversion, and will be the downfall of humanity.

      • Johnny Wyeknot

        and the first to game any government program for their own advantage.

  • VodkaAndPolitics

    Is it bad that this one made me snort?!

  • metrored

    What does that even mean? Does anyone here speak christian batshit?

  • Brian in Valdosta

    It sounds like the Blue Plate Special at the local Atlah Diner: “I’ll have the fellatio item #2, please. Does it come with special santorum sauce?”

  • Frommer_Gast

    I think, they messed up the word order – here is what they really intended to write:

    “Bruce Jenner is Moses – who would end Fellatio?
    (A Horse condemned item Number 1 & 2 of Lev 18:23)”

    • People4Humanity

      Whew! There we go — Is that King James?

      • Frommer_Gast

        Tyndale.

  • tasteless chap

    Ignoring this lunatic church (much like Westboro) is the only course forward. They thrive on attention; deprive them of that!

    • JW Swift

      We’re not really providing them with any attention that does them any good. Instead, we’re keeping tabs on what one of our very vocal enemies has to say about us.

  • Todd20036

    He’s not even trying anymore. Or his thoughts have become discombobulated that he can’t even quote the bible correctly

  • Cosmo Tupper

    This church and it’s pastor are TRULY evil and their god will castigate them with fervor……oh, damn, there is no god. It is amazing how much hate the church promotes in the name of their god. Pure, unadulterated evil within the ranks of this so-called christian cult/ sect. I have grown to hate the church and EVERYTHING for which it stands. The christian extremists have hijacked christianity EXACTLY how ISIS and Al Queda have hijacked islam. When are they going to start chopping off the hands of thieves? When are they going to start chopping off the members of the fornicators and adulterers? When are they going to place African-Americans back into shackles? When are they going to put women BACK in their place….barefoot, pregnant, cooking, cleaning and serving their master? The entire church represents hypocrisy to a degree god could not fathom nor would he reward them for it. Judgment is mine, sayeth the lord. This statement in the bible refers to hypocritical judgment which ANY judgment is hypocritical unless, of course, you are pure as the driven snow. Therefore ALL judgment is hypocritical in the eyes of god.

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      For obvious reasons, christian extremists are not going to start chopping off hands of thieves or members (dicks) of the fornicators and adulterers. That would be to close to home for them. But enslaving blacks and women–not a problem.

  • Cuberly

    Hmm, don’t think that’s the one with Elizabeth Taylor and Mickey Rooney, is it.

    • Johnny Wyeknot

      Please don’t go there.

  • Emma Duncan

    translation to English please.

  • Toasterlad

    That sign is having a stroke.

  • Mike P

    I’m sure the neighbors with young children are going to enjoy explaining to their toddlers what “fellatio” means.

  • That Other Jean

    There’s a word salad I’m NOT having for lunch! Also, where in the Bible does Moses meet Bruce Jenner? Did I miss that bit?

  • Lauchlan Bernard-Christopher M

    Will some concerned citizen please report this fuckwit to one million mommies . I’m these good christian folks wouldn’t want to walk their little kiddies past this sign . ” but mommy , what does it meeen ? Is it like when you lick daddies lollipop? .i feel a boycott should be sufficient .

  • Jan Wesselius

    Bruce Jenner? There is no more Bruce Jenner. If Manning can’t keep up with the events, he will have to go sit at the kiddies table.

  • BobSF_94117

    “This one doesn’t make any sense, Vanna.”

  • KQCA

    Like many others raised on evangelical church pews, I would have had no exposure to explicit sexual information during my childhood had it not been for the preachers speaking as experts on the subject.

  • Ryan Conrad

    Gee, it’s funny how this gets covered on JMG, but actual stories of “transwomen” and horses don’t. This is what many queer theorists would call (using Chomsky’;s term) manufacturing consensus:

    http://jezebel.com/woman-arrested-after-advertising-desire-to-fellate-hors-1567972681

  • Gio

    “I know those words, but that sign makes no sense.”

  • Ginger Snap

    That there is something only a crazy person would say. Nuff said.

    • Beagle

      Could be performance art.
      I hope it’s performance art.

  • noni

    Another Donald Trump quote.

  • JustSayin’

    interesting… someone tries to use my name, I mention it here in reply to them and now my posts are gone…interesting…

  • James

    The Bible has horse fellatio? More proof that Christians are sick and shouldn’t be allowed around children.

    • clay

      Not that I can find, but it does have goat fucking.

      • Kissmagrits

        What? No sheep?
        And I still want to know where Eve’s boys found wives. Hmm! The implications are clear unless something got left out of Genesis, but since
        God wrote the begatting section – – –

        • Johnny Wyeknot

          It’s the part the dog ate.

  • nipper

    Someone has to have a very sic mind to come up with these. It’s not like there is a book of quotes to use.

  • ClevelandJim

    Manning has been quite busy changing his sign lately–he must be overly inspired by…something

    • Steven Leahy

      Or he knows he has an audience 🙂

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    Someone please introduce him to Twitter. ;-/

  • perversatile

    well la dee fuckin’ da

  • JCF

    Joe, of course it’s your blog, but I can’t help feeling you’ve reached the point of diminishing returns, in publicizing this abject LUNATIC. [I mean, if there’s actual NEWS about him, that’s something else. But not just his spewing-batshit-crazy sign]

  • Steven Leahy

    I read this three or four times earlier and couldn’t understand it…re-read it tonight and I finally made out what he was saying.

  • houstonray

    The f*ck??