NOM To Join Red-Caped Catholic Loons For Anti-Gay White House Rosary Rally

Next month the red-caped Catholic loons of Tradition, Family & Property will stage a mass anti-gay praying of the rosary outside the White House and Brian Brown invites you to join in:

Join the National Organization for Marriage as we gather in front of the White House to pray the Rosary on August 15th from 10am-12pm. The purpose of this event is to give witness to the nation the glory of God’s plan for marriage through prayer, fasting & sacrifice. Our goal is to have at least 500 men (and women) gathered in front of the White House to show our support for the belief that every child has the right to a mother and a father. Please see White House Witness for more details. We hope you can make it! The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. – Edmund Burke

Brown either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that Burke never said the above quote. Or that in 1780 he denounced the punishment of two men accused of sodomy. Whatever! Get out your beads! Bonus: Alan Keyes will be there.

  • Judas Peckerwood

    I believe that the actual quote is “The only thing necessary for the triumph of truth is for hateful douchebags to stop telling lies.” But don’t quote me on that.

    • Gustav2

      The only thing necessary for the triumph of truth is for little boys in capes to do nothing useful. It is over. – Gustav2

    • pj

      i think its fucking lies

    • Homo Erectus

      Sounds about right.

  • MattM

    Something tells me BriBri is hiding his beads. He’s always prepared πŸ˜‰

    • Steverino

      And we know how to read his beads.

      • BudClark

        EEEWWW!!!

    • Fyva Prold

      These must be his special beads, for where the Sun doesn’t shine

  • bkmn

    Per protocol Brian will order food for 300 so he has enough for his lunch. There will only be 16 or so that actually show up.

    • StraightGrandmother

      No, those Rosary Marches are popular with Catholics.

      The other day in a comment xomebody mentioned the Franch Hommen, remember them, the guys with no shirts and very colorful pants, they protested against gay marriage. Remember they set off fireworks or something in a soccer stadium. Well I went & looked & they basically are dead, 4 tweets in June.

      Then French Catholics had another group called “The Watchmen” basically they would stand about 6 to 10 feet apart, just stand in front of Civic buildings like Court Houses and legislative buildings. Just stand there in silence, many of them would read a book or the newspaper. That was their gig to just show up and stand. Yeah they are not doing that anymore.

      Kind of like we have those Confederate Flag Rallies going on now where people will attach a Confederate Flag to their vehicle & they all get in a big line & drive through town, the Manif Pour Tous would have car rallies where they flew their flags out their car windows and drove through big cities blowing their horns to make noise. Yeah no more Manif Pour Tous car rallies.

      So let BB have his little Rosary Rally with the Red Capped Catholic Loons it doesn’t matter, these won’t continue like their abortion efforts. Although I think it would be most excellent if a DC Gay Rights org showed up and distributed cold water to them, kind of a show compassion for the misguided. Wouldn’t that blow BB & their minds?

  • Happy_Housewife

    Nothing like a good Rosary Job – er, I mean Rally!

    (no, I mean job)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AM0c9t8W7ug

  • Ed Burrow

    Few things.
    1) only 500? That’s all?!
    2) So they’re protesting the fact that gays can get married… Shouldn’t they do that in front of SCOTUS, since it was their decision?
    3) a whole 2 hour demonstration? Don’t hurt yourself, kids.
    4) Bryan Brown, Fuck you.

    • MattM

      They have to be a little bit less insane with their overestimates now that the war against marriage equality has largely been won by our side.

    • David Walker

      1) That’s NOM math for 30.
      2) It probably has to do with the one night light show.
      3) Consider the wear and tear on their fingers.
      4) And the high horse you rode in on.

    • Joe in PA

      you had me at number 4. πŸ™‚

      • 2karmanot

        I quit at Number 2, —-could smell it a mile away.

    • 4a) With your fucking rosary.

      • Menergy

        Them’s pretty tiny anal beads….πŸ˜‰

        • Gaping holes from tiny fissures grow.

        • 2karmanot

          Benwa Babies for the small minded.

    • Hal Watts

      The lunatic religious right has always had the strangest, most skewed priorities for prayer. For example, how many prayer rallies have they held to protest the insane availability of guns in our country and the resulting senseless carnage? Did I not get their memo when they took to the streets to protest King Bush II lying our country into two needless and endless wars, which have resulted in millions of deaths and injuries, not to mention destabilizing most of the Middle East? Did these lunatics hold novenas decrying the plight of the poor and homeless, as their Teavangelical Party slashed the social safety net creating more misery and suffering for the poorest of the poor? Were there religious processions to offer support for LGBT youth, many of whom killed themselves because of the hate coming from religion?

      But, let me marry my beautiful husband of over 30+ years, and then 50 white, privileged men (and women) get their beads in a twit. Yet another of the 1000+ reasons why I’m glad that he and I left that Church in the dust….

      • ExGayTherapyKills

        NOM the β€œAryan” race was gifted above all other races, Hitler said and the Catholics are as the Holy Race, the pope said to his people go forth and create the Holy Race La Santa Raza.

        • AtticusP

          Take.your.lithium.

    • zhera

      They’re going to be fasting, so I guess 2 hours is a long time for them?

    • Well, that means the speeches will be very short. It takes very nearly two hours to say a complete rosary.

      • doninkansas

        I never knew a Catholic that couldn’t do a whole rosary in 15 minutes tops. they got something else going on, probably a money beg or two or three.

        • A whole Rosary? All fifteen decades of it? 16 Paters, 153 Aves, and 16 Glorias, a total of 185 prayers in 15 minutes? He must be a fast talker!

          Surprising how rarely Catholics say the whole thing at one sitting (kneeling?) — usually they say only 5 decades, if that. Very often it’s only one — a short extract — and that can be done fairly comfortably in about 10 minutes. But 15 lots of 10 minutes is 150 minutes, two and a half hours for the complete Rosary. Which is longer than the two hours they have announced their rally will last.

          All this is in private prayer; a public performance inevitably takes longer, especially if — as is traditional on such occasions — the person announcing each of the fifteen Mysteries takes the opportunity to deliver a short homily on its significance. Add speeches on the evils of sodomy-based marriage (etc) some music and some banner-waving and cape-twirling and their two-hour rally is going to run for more than three.

          • From the Heartland

            Actually, thanks to St. JP II, we have 4 mysteries of the rosary and 20 decades (have to add in the Luminous mysteries).

          • As I understand it, the addition of the five new Mysteries is entirely optional — and one must ask why if the BVM wanted these she didn’t institute them herself at Fatima in 1917, when she is alleged to have talked constantly about the importance of her Rosary.

            In any case, including them would only make the Loons’ performance all the more likely to exceed the two hours they have scheduled for it. And still more likely to turn off their hoped-for audience — few things are more boring than a bunch of people standing around endlessly repeating the same words.

        • ExGayTherapyKills

          They have to go to confession to get off the hook for their crimes against humanity so they can go bash more LGBT people.

    • vorpal

      LOL anyone seen their videos on their YouTube channel? These guys are the biggest pussies that the world has ever seen. As soon as someone says anything to them they start to chant, “Aggressor! Aggressor!”

      If they did that to me, I would consider it a point of pride and a sign of a mission well done.

      • 2karmanot

        More than one of them is secretly wearing ‘Hello Kitty’ underwear.

  • MacCrocodile

    I just hope they never figure out how to do the Care Bear Stare. Then we’ll really be in for it.

  • Brett Gilbert

    Typical that they view women as only worthy of a parenthetical.

    • StSean

      they’re only sorta hoping women will show up. women means no orgy at the hotel later.

    • Carl

      But must pray the rosary silently. Women are to be quiet.

    • uestg

      Its so maddening! Without the parenthesis it would have made complete sense and been fine! He went to the extra effort of adding the parentheses to be a DICK.

  • Ron Robertson

    Prove your god thinks what you say, but first, prove there IS a god. In the meantime, go fuck yourself some more.

  • Brian G

    The misogyny of this group is self evident; women get the parenthesis.

    “Our goal is to have at least 500 men (and women) gathered in front of the White House….”

    • Michael Senesac

      That’s because the women will need to be silent.

      • Harley

        And stand in the back, in burkas.

        • 2karmanot

          Brides of Mr. Christ are considered widows.

      • Homo Erectus

        Momma said “don’t talk with your mouth full”….

        • 2karmanot

          Interstate truck stop

      • Prion

        “If sometimes you can’t hear me it’s because sometimes I speak in parenthesis.”
        Steven Wright

    • Taylor

      Well, someone will have to put the cushions down for them to kneel on. The men certainly can’t do it for themselves.

    • MattM

      To be fair, the after-rally boozing session will be a lot more fun without those pesky women getting in the way of their fun. Women and their feminine needs can be a real boner kill.

    • uestg

      Does he not know the word “people”? Or “adults”? He would probably also say: “Our goal is to have at least 500 whites (and blacks) gathered in front of the White House . . . “

    • Nychta

      They’ll count the women if not enough men show up.

      • 2karmanot

        It’s hard for them to keep a breast of things.

  • MDB

    “No man, who is not inflamed by vain-glory into enthusiasm, can flatter himself that his single, unsupported, desultory, unsystematic endeavours are of power to defeat the subtle designs and united Cabals of ambitious citizens. When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle.”

    Dayum, Joe, all thayat ther’ fanccee booke lernin an’ reedeng, izz tew harde !!

  • Billanddogs

    Protestant fundamentalists consider rosaries a prayer to Mary and a total blasphemy. This must be driving them nuts. Oops, too late.

    • AtticusP

      August 15 is a holy day of obligation in the RCC.

      Feast of the Assumption was when Mary was assumed bodily into heaven.

      If we’re lucky, God will scoop all these asswipes up in one fell swoop.

      • Steverino

        That would lend new meaning to the word ass-umption.

        • AtticusP

          They need to coin a new word just for Brianna: Assholeumption…

      • Homo Erectus

        What? Mary’s body went to heaven and we have to eat jezus one cracker at a time? What did he do to deserve that?

        • AtticusP

          I guess that Mom really did love him best… (With apologies to the Smothers brothers.)

        • Jeff

          OMG! I never heard that one before, but I’ll certainly remember it. LOL!

    • CPT_Doom

      To be fair, when I was growing up in the Catholic Church, I thought it was pretty brilliant to pray to Mary. The prayers are to ask Mary to intercede with her son on your behalf, and what better way to get a a Jewish guy’s attention is through his mother.

      • stuckinthewoods

        Yes, one can read in the Eastern Unorthodox scriptures that the Extra Virgin had great influence over babyjesus.

        • Billanddogs

          I buy her olive oil.

          • stuckinthewoods

            as well you should. In my religion She was the central character. Her gay son babyjesus was just an unfortunate victim of circumstances. Saul of Tarsus ran with that and polluted The Truth. The “apostles” were there to see the EVM. (Think Mrs. Robinson in The Graduate.) When “sincerely held beliefs” are legally examined in the future I attest that mine is a real religion. I deserve them deductions and tax benefits.

          • Bad Tom

            We do too. It’s delicious.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Rosary. So only Catholic bigots may attend ?
    Or can any open bigoted bigot gather with the other bigots ?

    • barracks9

      “First you get down on your knees,
      Fiddle with your rosaries,
      Bow your head with great respect,
      And genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!”

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        Dammed, that sounds hot.

      • RoverSerton

        Tom Lehrer’s Vatican Rag. I grew up listening to this guy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvhYqeGp_Do

        Kind of a early Tim Minchin

        • barracks9

          Brilliant man – I have a couple of his song books, and damn, some of those are tough to play. Math professor, professional musician, smart-ass wordsmith. What’s not to appreciate?

          • Joe in PA

            I am (was) completely ignorant (shame on me) about this guy.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Lehrer

          • barracks9

            “The Old Dope Peddler” is one of my favorites. You can find a number of his recordings on YouTube – his timing and delivery are impeccable.

          • Homo Erectus

            And good looking to boot!

          • Piet

            I agree. Pure hell to master. But what a sense of accomplishment when it finally comes together. And he’s a great, great satirist.

        • Joe in PA

          Thank you, that was great! I want to know this guy!

        • RoFaWh

          Much, much funnier than Minchin and more insightful in his satire.

      • Joe in PA

        ah…is “fiddle with your rosaries” a euphemism? Hmmm?

      • Harley

        I’ll just drop this here.

    • Gustav2

      You need beads AND caplets!

      • TampaDink

        Caplets are so much easier to swallow than tablets….or religion.

        • Gustav2

          Freudian spelling slip?

          • TampaDink

            I was going with what Gustav had written about beads & caplets.

  • Max_1

    These X-tians keep ignoring the words of their Christ…
    … They prefer to stand in judgement of their brother, damned be the mote in their eyes.

  • MarkOH

    “Brown either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that Burke never said the above quote.”

    Tsk, tsk Joe, why expect Brian to start using facts now? His gravy train is drying up and he has a LOT of mouths to feed.

  • Max_1

    When the words of their Christ are: “Judge not lest ye be judged”
    … Who get’s to judge them when they pull this shit?

  • JT
  • AtticusP

    Because nothing says Christian love quite like praying against a whole class of people.

    Go choke on an altar boy.

  • barracks9

    They forgot to incorporate this into their graphic…

    • Jeffrey

      I find this one makes a bold statement

      • Homo Erectus

        Or this:

  • Michael Senesac

    “Catholics for Equality” will be there with rainbow colored beads.

  • Taylor

    From the linked webpage: “We are 11% toward our goal of 500 men!”

    Only 445 to go!!

    • MattM

      How many self-loathers does one need to have a hate sex orgy? Is that 11% enough?

    • Joe in PA

      Brian’s kids could take care of that!

    • Homo Erectus

      But will they be Neckked?

  • leo77

    So Brian, will your cronies at Witherspoon stop pretending that this is a secular cause now?

  • Mister Don

    Anal beads?

  • hdtex

    Shit in one hand…Pray in the other……See which fills up first.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    August 15th ?? We all know what happened on that day :

    1939 – “The Wizard of Oz” premiered in Hollywood, CA. Judy Garland became famous for the movie’s song “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”

    • Craig Howell

      August 15 is also celebrated (in certain Liturgical Calendars) as the Feast of the Unwarranted Assumption. An Unholy Day of Oblivious Obligation, don’t you know.

    • Joe in PA

      and why isn’t that a national gay holiday…I ask you…why?!

      oooh, I’m a little muddled.

  • Richard Rush

    “. . . show our support for the belief that every child has the right to a mother and a father.”

    Throughout human history, large numbers of women died during childbirth due to either God killing them, or God allowing them to die. If “every child has the right to a mother and a father,” why did God do that?

    • Bad Tom

      We’ve known for awhile that God is kind of a dick.

  • Bill T.

    If the folks who prayed and fasted for 40 days against marriage equality weren’t successful, then an afternoon novena will be a complete waste of time.

  • TampaDink

    Wonder whether they’ve considered a rosary rally for the victims of mass shootings & for the NRA to release its strangle hold on politicians.

    • Octavio

      I hope you’re not holding your breath.

      • TampaDink

        When it comes to these folks….I’d never hold my breath.

        • Bad Tom

          Except when walking downwind.

          • TampaDink

            Point taken.

    • Joe in PA

      but can they make money on it?

      • TampaDink

        Probably not….but that has never stopped them from trying things before.

  • Steverino

    Keep your rosaries off of women’s ovaries, and keep the BVM out of men’s BVDs.

    • brian

      Okay, I’m dumb. BVM?

      • Homo Erectus

        Blessed Virgin Mary.

      • Baltimatt

        I assume it means Blessed Virgin Mary.

  • Map

    Well I hope LGBT groups show up .

    • David Walker

      …with rainbow-colored rosary beads.

  • RoverSerton

    Kind of anxious to see how many really show up to rattle their beads. Thank goodness they pray in private like Jesus commanded.

    • Homo Erectus

      Tell me again – what do they do with those beads?

  • Harley

    They should get one million Lucys to join them. That should swell their ranks by 2.

  • Octavio

    If only the Sisters of Perpetual Motio . . er . . . Indulgence could show up and do the Vatican Rag for everyone. That would be worth seeing.

    “First get down on your hands and knees
    Fumble with your rosaries
    Bow your head with great respect
    Genuflect, genuflect, genuflect . . . . . . . . . . . πŸ™‚

  • oikos

    Although I’m not Catholic and not a fan of the rosary, I suppose I might make an exception.

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/01/07/article-2535114-1A77354F00000578-977_964x1069.jpg

    • Something there’s gratia plena!

    • Homo Erectus
    • barracks9

      My…that headboard is a little threadbare. What on earth could have caused that?

      • oikos

        They just don’t make quality fabrics that stand up to friction anymore.

    • SockMikey

      I really like that shade of blue on the walls!

    • TimCA

      HA! I posted that same pic here more than a year ago. Clearly we have the same excellent aesthetic tastes! πŸ˜‰

      • oikos

        I read somewhere that it was part of a calendar. Not sure if that is true.

  • CPT_Doom

    Will they also be decrying the candidacy of The Donald, a serial adulterer who abandoned three children from two different marriages?

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    “Our goal is to have at least 500 men (and women) gathered in front of the White House to show our support for the belief that every child has the right to a mother and a father.”

    But those Kids don’t have the right to adequate health care our nutrition. They have the right to suffer asKing with their poor, moocher parents.

  • BAMinRI

    Listen up! There’ll be “fasting and sacrifice” at the rally; Maggy & Brian, that means no lunch for the two of youse, and no snacking either!

  • BudClark

    Mary was a single mother.

    Jesus had two dads.

    NEXT!

    • Lumpy Gaga

      I hear the Holy Spirit was a major fairy.

  • Jeffrey

    I can’t wait to see their signs

  • Cuberly

    I still find it mildly amusing that Alan Keyes is included on the list of “advisers” on the Catholic League website.

    As if they need advice on how to be even more pants crapingly insane.

  • Homo Erectus

    No, thanks! I’ll be at Starbucks.

    • oikos

      You Semen latte demon, you.

      • Homo Erectus

        You say that like it’s a bad thing πŸ˜‰

        • oikos

          Definitely a compliment.

      • BudClark

        I’ll just leave this here:

  • Timothy Kincaid

    So… they’re going to stand outside and clutch their beads.

    • BudClark

      The Obama family is SO classy and together.

      I REALLY feel sorry for them … being prayed against, threatened with DEATH, and hated on 24/7.

      No wonder the President’s hair is gray, which doesn’t normally happen to black men until ADVANCED old age.

      I leave it to those with stronger stomachs and stronger hearts to go to the reich-wing sites, but what little that DOES leak out is un-fcuking-believable.

      This is 2015, not 1850!

  • Oh NOOooo!! They’re getting out the magic beads! We’re so fucked!!!!

    • Clive Johnson

      I’m picturing a counter-protest with different beads…

  • have you SEEN the NOM people? fasting? fasting for them is only having three meals a day…

    • Clive Johnson

      Maggie had to lock the chips in the gun cabinet.

      • SockMikey

        Lock & Loaded Baked Potato Chips!

        Magpie approved!

  • Queequeg

    They don’t believe in birth control or abortion or adoption by LGBT couples, yet they think every child will have a mother and father if we can just ban same sex marriage. They are living in a right wing fantasy land.

    • BudClark

      Somewhere between 50% and 75% of ALL children born in the US in recent years were born to “unwed” mothers.

      That was BEFORE SCOTUS ruled on marriage equality.

      • Queequeg

        I just heard that statistic recently. I was surprised, but not too shocked. I’m sure a lot of the family values types, like Bristol Palin, are popping out the babies all the time.

  • A Big Sarcastic Fairy!

    Perhaps they will use them as anal beads?

  • David in Tucson

    I’m sure this will have just as much effect as the bazillions of decades of the rosary that have been prayed in Catholic churches all over the country since Roe v. Wade, i.e., none. Small groups of women, though, have been praying the rosary after Sunday Masses ever since that decision. It’s burned into my memory from all the years I spent as an organist in Catholic churches.

  • Jeff

    Rosaries are used for praying? Well that explains a lot. Always wondered why that painful emblem was on the end.

    • McSwagg

      These days they are mostly used as fashion statements worn around the neck.

  • JoeNCA

    Why does this man still have a job? They failed at their mission. Gay marriage is the law of the land in all 50 states.

    • They did, but if Brown wants to spread his message around the world he has to do something to convince the moneybags in Russia, eastern Europe, Africa and so on that his failure was only a temporary setback, a mere hiccup on the road to ultimate, glorious victory. On which his continued adiposity depends.

  • Ok. If I go, where can I get a rainbow colored rosary? Hope the supernatural one turns all those rosaries into rainbow beads. I know it’s often gold, so colored beads should be no trick.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    Our goal is to have at least 500 men

    Me, too!

    • AtticusP

      LOL!!!!!

    • LonelyLiberal

      Oh, honey, do try to catch up to the rest of us.

  • Lumpy Gaga

    I think these folks would feel much more comfortable in Saudi Arabia:

    http://observers.france24.com/en/20150724-saudi-police-rainbows-gay-school

  • Pete

    Maybe they will take page from the Kenya demonstrators and decide to do this nude. Cryin’ Brian, Will Maggie be there too?

  • SockMikey

    Are they going to use Rainbow Rosaries?

    πŸ™‚

    • LonelyLiberal

      Needs a longer, bulbier, less aborptive cross, preferably made out of latex.

  • Blake Jordan

    This will surely accomplish a lot…

    HA HA HA

  • KQCA

    As if one more prayer, after years of doing so, will make a difference. Go ahead and pray; that seems to be what moved equality along more swiftly.

    • BudClark

      Butbutbut … it’s the ROSARY … THAT stopped the Turks at Vienna … and on August 15th, the Feast of the Rash Assumption of the Blessed and Glorious Ever-Virgin Immaculately Conceived Mother of God Into Heaven.

      (Have I left anything out?).

      Oh yeah. She had the preternatural gifts (which Eve forfeited by eating the apple) so She never had to clean house or change Jesus’ nappies.

      True story. I actually heard a nun teaching that in catechism class.

      • KQCA

        BudClark, you make me feel like I’m in good company. You seem like a sharp dude with scars to show and stories to tell.

  • Joseph Miceli

    Well thank heavens they’re doing something as completely useless as prayer instead of actually doing something.

  • agcons

    You quit your day job before having another job lined up? No wonder you have to spam website comment threads now.

    Flagged.

  • Mark

    While it may not happen in my lifetime – I am certainly looking forward to that moment when rejection of all this sky fairy stuff hits critical mass. I’m sure there will be blood shed – but it’s really just another page in the book. Gods and religions have come and gone – and xtianity is no different. “Imagine” being free of this chaos and turmoil and hate….

    • Harley

      Unfortunately religion is like a virus. You will never knock out 100% of the infection. It’s holds up somewhere lurking. Waiting for an opportunity to re-infect and kill the host.

  • delk

    Meanwhile, the homeless population has grown 13% in the last year in DC.

    That thing you are praying to is pretty sickened with your priorities.

  • 2karmanot

    Ring around the Rosary! Read those beads Gurls!

  • Schlukitz

    This promises to be better than a Barnum & Baily three-ring circus.

  • jomicur

    Brian, dearest, spraying the rosary IS doing nothing.

  • anne marie in philly

    what a buncha assclowns! ya wanna do something, bri-bri and the RCC? stop raping children and LOVE one another! and yes, that DOES include LGBT people! and women (who seem to be an afterthought in your paragraph there)!

  • Ogre Magi

    The red-caped Catholic loons have to be the goofiest of all christians

    • ExGayTherapyKills

      The Catholic Church is really at tool of the rich and powerful world bankers who have had control over it since the rich and powerful Emperor Constantine Rome and other rich and powerful people took control of the Christian religion thousands of years ago. Being rich and powerful and smart they saw they could make more money from the church and also use it as a tool to control the down and oppressed people who went along with it. The rich and powerful continue to control the church today. This is something they do not want you to know. They will do anything to hide the truth and keep people from knowing the truth.

    • In the face of very strong competition, however.

  • Given that NOM is claiming that public opinion is turning against marriage equality you would think that he would call for a bigger crowd. He can lie about what public polling all he wants but the reality is that he knows that his events/ events of his allies fail to draw a crowd.