Pat Robertson: Obergefell Legalizes Love Affairs Between Men And Animals

Also polygamy and pedophilia!

  • bkmn

    When you go Pat, please take Phyllis Schlafly along with you.

    • Mark

      Or don’t have it.

  • It’s a party!!!

    • Todd20036

      It’s a kiki

  • Big Gay Sam

    No kidding, Pat. I love me some Bears.

    • Sk3ptic

      And otters.

      • Rambie

        Hell yeah, otters!

    • anne marie in philly

      SO DO I!

  • Mark

    Pat and his ilk are consumed by this. I do believe Freud would have a field day with these lunatics.

  • It’s pretty amazing how irrational these people are – and how convinced they are that they are right.

    • oikos

      It’s untreated mental illness.

      • JDM

        Not really. It’s just the result of being uninformed.

        • oikos

          I think religion is a mental illness. You are free to disagree. Just my opinion.

          • TreGibbs

            I agree with you.

        • Schlukitz

          If that is the case, then it’s their responsobility to become more informed, not for us to have to tolerate, respect and accept their ignorance.

          • RaygunsGoZap

            Why shouldn’t YOU have to prove you aren’t going to marry children or woodchucks or several women at once?

          • Schlukitz

            Precisely, Rayguns.

            They tell the lies about us and then the onus to disprove them is shifted upon us.

            It’s totally fucked-up. And we have the media to blame for this because they never call them on their lies and let these shits get away with it…if not downright supporting them.

        • CanuckDon

          They have had more than 40 years of being informed. It’s willful ignorance mixed with total lack of awareness and psychopaths like Pat Robertson greedily take advantage of it.

      • Schlukitz

        Couldn’t agree with you more.

        • gaymex

          whoops. Erased comment. Directed to wrong person.

    • grada3784

      Actually, the old goat is relieved that he thinks his marriage is finally legal.

  • Treg Brown

    And with this news, the good people in Arkansas breathed a sigh of relief.
    Try scaring them with something they DON’T want Pat.

    • Arkansan

      Hey, wait a minute.

      • Treg Brown

        My size 11 foot is now in my mouth. My apologies to the actual “good” people of Arkansas including you.

        • Arkansan

          Just kidding, I have said far worse. When you live in a state with the Duggars, Huckabee and Tom Cotton, you have to expect some jokes.

        • Joseph Miceli

          Shame on you for being funny! Don’t let it happen again.
          🙂

  • Paula

    I don’t get their obsession with beastiality. Some of them must have had some pretty fucked up childhoods. Especially, the farm boys.
    Oh.. and Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar Duggar

    • Octavio

      Ya don’t know what you’re missing until you’ve fucked a sheep. Nine out of 10 Ewetaw farmers prefer them. 🙂

      • oikos

        you’re baaaaaaahd

        • OrliJoe in Fla

          Run, sheep, run!

        • barracks9

          Hey, that’s my daaaaaaad!

          • Paula

            YES!

          • oikos

            Must be an Upstate NY thing. 🙂

      • Steverino

        What a sheep date!

        • Schlukitz

          Groan. 🙂

        • David Walker

          You don’t have to worry about them talking about you afterwards.

          • Joseph Miceli

            Once you go Ramming, you never go baaaaaaaaack!

          • TreGibbs

            Been a while since I’ve received a “ram job”

      • 2karmanot

        Bar Ram Ewe Run, Run!

      • David Walker

        Two shepherds watching over a fairly large flock of sheep. One asks the other how he keeps from going out of his mind from horniness. The other tells him about how fucking sheep isn’t really all that bad. This, of course, disgusts the first shepherd, but after another week or so, he gives in and asks how to do it. Dreading the act but no longer able to deny his horniness, off he goes into the flock, picks one, and goes to town. When he returns to the campfire, he asks his co-shepherd if that’s the way it’s done. “Yeah, but out of that whole flock, why’d you pick the ugliest one?”

        • Ted.OR

          Points for old jokes. Reminds me of…

          Guy goes in to see a psychiatrist.
          Guy: Doc, I love my dog.
          Doc: That isn’t unusual. Many people feel affection for a pet.
          Guy: No, Doc, I mean I have a physical relationship with my dog.
          Doc: Oh, that’s different. Is your dog male or female?
          Guy: Female, of course. What, you think I’m queer?

        • CanuckDon

          A man comes home with a sheep under his arm and says “honey I would like you to meet the pig that I sleep with when you say you have a headache.”

          His wife looks up and says “you stupid moron can’t you tell the difference between a pig and a sheep?”.

          He says “I wasn’t talking to you”

      • JT
      • trouble94114

        but do you have to do the whole dinner and a movie shtick with them?

        • grada3784

          No movie, but dinner, yes. Good thing I like leg of lamb.

      • Sk3ptic

        The farmers were just helping the sheep through the fence:

        • Ragnar Lothbrok

          Hey -that happens sometimes !
          No matter how it appears !!

      • KCMC

        “Do you love me are am I just another ewe to you,” buxom college buddy challenged big ol’ WY ranch boy.
        (after he made me blush listening to graphic description of how to put the back legs inside his boots to keep them from kicking)

      • Snarkaholic

        Wham, bam, thank you, lamb!

      • perversatile

        I heard it’s not baaaaaaaaaad

      • Cattleya1

        OK, let the pieces fall where they may. If Obergefell makes all this stuff inevitable, lets gay-marry ol’ Pat to the biggest, meanest, horniest bull we can find and let them consecrate the marriage in a closed stall.

        • Octavio

          I’d pay to watch that. 🙂

    • VodkaAndPolitics

      I come from a deep blue state, where concerns about fucking animals are non-existent.

      • oikos

        For some reason I thought you were in FL.

        • VodkaAndPolitics

          You’re right, It’ll be 2 years in Wilton Manors in October, but prior to that I lived in DC for 12 years and was born and Raised in a NYC suburb.

      • barracks9

        Hmmm…there are some MIGHTY repressed farmboys in the very red hinterlands of New York State, so I’d happily challenge that assumption.

    • CottonBlimp

      It’s pretty ridiculous to link acceptance of homosexuality with bestiality, considering how not correlated the two are. Consistently, urban centers have been the place for gays to flee from oppressively straight rural communities. But where does more bestiality take place? In the city… or on a farm?

    • KCMC

      “I’d like to say a word for the cowboy, his path is difficult and stoney. He rides for days on end with just his pony for a friend”
      “I sure am feeling sorry for the pony”
      -Oklahoma

    • Snarkaholic

      Oh…I thought he was referring to the man/animal love of Donald Trump/the dead opossum on his head.

  • popebuck1

    I’m personally starting the ball rolling by marrying the Chicago Bears’ entire offensive line.

    • OrliJoe in Fla

      Dayum, greedy aintcha?

    • BlueberriesForMe

      That’s a whole lot of weekly laundry.

  • Todd20036

    5 old men in white robes:

    but the robes are black

    but 2 of the men are women

    but 3 of the “men” aren’t old

    Pat, when you die, you will be mourned by people who’d rather see all gay people dead or in camps.

    You will not be missed by anyone else. Fuck off.

    • BobSF_94117

      He’s blaming Scalia, Thomas, Alito, Kennedy, and Breyer.

      • Todd20036

        I thought he was blaming Kennedy, Sotomeyer, RBG, Souter, and … crud.

        • BobSF_94117

          He said “five old men” and Roberts is the youngest of the six men on the Court, so he’s off the list. (Kagan is the name you’re looking for, I think)

          • Todd20036

            Right. Kagan. I knew I was missing one of the women

        • oikos

          You’re having a Rick Perry moment. Take a deep breath and don’t consume any oxycontin and it will pass.

    • Six Pins Delores

      He will be mourned only by those who inherit his grift wondering why it took him so long to die.

  • oikos

    Already used this once today but it fits
    “Oh Princess Fair, wilst thou grant me thine dainty hoof in marriage?”

    http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ll03x23G5J1qfg4oyo1_1280.jpg

    • barracks9

      I love his cologne, “Smellin’ of Troy”!

      • oikos

        lol

      • Michael Rush

        bacon scent ?

  • anne marie in philly

    “Obergefell Legalizes Love Affairs Between Men And Animals” – uh, pat, I don’t think you read the decision, did you? NOWHERE do those words appear! old fucking asswipe needs to STFU!

    • Sk3ptic

      He may have actually tried, but the cataracts and macular degeneration really make it hard to see the actual words. And the Jesus filter fills in the words he can’t quite make out. So this is what he thinks he read.

  • Matt in PDX

    I used to be baffled by the gay-marriage-leads-to-bestiality line, until I realized that in conservative Christian sexual ethics, there are only two kinds of sex: penile-vaginal sex within the bounds of marriage, and everything else. Penile-vaginal sex within marriage is always good, and everything else is always sinful. Moreover, everything else is EQUALLY sinful. So allowing one kind of ‘sinful’ sex is tantamount to allowing them all.

    Love, consent, power, violence, mental health… NONE of these factors enter into the conservative Christian sexual ethic. No wonder these people have such a problem with rape. Pat’s views come directly out of the Rape Culture mindset.

    • Ted.OR

      And the “penile-vaginal sex within marriage” is to be used ONLY for the purpose of making a baby.

  • Rocketeer500

    And when is this old coot going to be raptured? Yesterday isn’t soon enough.

    • Steverino

      Being a fundie, he’s likely a New Earther who believes that Jesus rode bareback on a stegosaurus. So I would expect him to be raptored rather than raptured.

      • oikos
        • Rocketeer500

          LOL. Thanks for the laugh.

        • gaymex

          If I had to guess, I’d say the cow belongs to Trump.

          • oikos

            Ivana agree with you.

      • Ted.OR

        When the question has come up on “The 700 Club”, Pat has actually said that “the universe is 6000 years old” is a ridiculous concept. I think he pissed off a bunch of evangelicals, and is fearful of losing their donations. So now, he seems to avoid the subject altogether.

        He also has stated that the King James Version of the bibble is a bad translation, and is based on incorrect original documents. I imagine that also caused a few evangies’ heads to start spinning.

    • Randy

      Yes. he is overdue.

  • Sam Rothstein

    Pat needs a psychiatrist who enjoys a challenge.

  • Octavio

    Sort Of Related: Anyone feel the 4.1 that just hit San Francisco?

    • Todd20036

      I don’t bother getting off of my chair until at least for an 8.
      Different wavelengths?

      • Leo Tallant

        Humm….I am 45 minutes north of the Golden Gate but I didn’t feel anything. A 4.1 is what most of us use to stir our coffee.

  • Schlukitz

    Pat Robertson and his ilk have an unhealthy obsession with bestiality, polygamy and pedophilia, perhaps because he practices these things himself?

    Thisis a perfect example of the filth, deception and lies that the religious right peddles day in and day out. Yet, when we speak up in protest, we are then accused of “persecuting Christians”.

  • Silver Badger

    Poor old guy. It is so sad when the mind goes first. I hope his family can find a nice nursing home for him. Soon.

    • canoebum

      They did. On national television every afternoon.

  • bambinoitaliano
  • canoebum

    “The right to marry is a fundamental right inherent in the liberty of the person, and under the Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses of the Fourteenth Amendment couples of the same-sex may not be deprived of that right and that liberty. Same-sex couples may exercise the fundamental right to marry. Baker v. Nelson is overruled.
    The State laws challenged by the petitioners in these cases are held invalid to the extent they exclude same-sex couples from civil marriage on the same terms and conditions as opposite-sex couples.”

    I don’t see anything in there about marrying animals or more than one person at a time. Shamelessly lying comes very easy to Pat.

  • Prion

    This line of “reasoning” always reminds me of an old Steve Martin joke:
    This joke starts at 2:30
    https://youtu.be/7VmtNntThPo?t=149

  • Again proving that they’re all potential rapists. I mean, who else than a potential rapist would be so ignorant of the concept of “legal consent”?

    • zhera

      Acknowledging the concept of consent would mean acknowledging women for what they really are. Christianists can’t afford that.

  • Steve

    This dinosaur’s extinction can’t come soon enough.

  • Randy

    Every time these guys say something like this, checks fly. Why should they stop?

  • bryan

    Don’t worry, Pat. Talking animals, that could offer consent, only exist in works of fiction.. like Disney fairy tales and the bible.

    • Kissmagrits

      Mmm! Like snakes – Damn! I could do without the snakes.

      • grada3784

        But the snake let Sabu go in The Jungle Book.

        • David Walker

          Ah. Redemption through good acts.

  • KentDean

    ” … dogs and cats living together …!”

  • ArchiLaw

    Um, I don’t think so, Pat, but if your dog (cat?, chicken?) says yes, then don’t let us stop you.

  • Richard Rush

    Pat Robertson (if he were honest): “We don’t have any legitimate arguments against the Obergefell decision, so we are forced to change the conversation by pretending that it will usher in something very scary, albeit unrelated to that decision The people who send us money are very gullible, so we have to exploit that.”

  • Macbill

    My favorite lamb, Donald, and I share a special bond. He’s a progressive sheep: not into the stereotypic male/female animal bond so common around these parts. Donald has consented to be my bitch. Yeah, thank you, I’m excited.

  • Blake Jordan

    Us LGBTs are not to blame for the perversions of heterosexuals!!!

  • SFBruce

    When Robertson talks about “our collective consciousness” I’m pretty sure he means “our collective conscience.” Of course, the mistake is understandable since he apparently has neither. Robertson is also oblivious to the fact that SCOTUS has included women since 1981.

  • bkmn

    Then go get fucked by a donkey Pat. And be sure to film it for your trial.

  • sdnative1958

    Where was the crazy old fart in the early 70’s when he probably thought Oblio was having sex with his dog Arrow?

  • RaygunsGoZap

    I’m all set to marry these three calves! But wait! They’re all dead. Oh Pat! Why can’t i be married too! Because my calves are dead! Is that it?

  • RobynWatts

    Does that brilliant conclusion of yours include that “affair” between yourself and that Jewish carpenter as well, Pat?

  • gaymex

    Pat, “Go fuck a duck.” doesn’t mean people actually do it, except for my cousin Junebug and he was sorta strange anyway.

    • KQCA

      ROFL … PLEASE come to my next garden party.

      • gaymex

        My pleasure, KTCA

  • joe ho

  • zhera

    That’s not nice, Pat. They’ll believe you and then they’ll have a ‘love affair’ with the neighbor’s goat. Neighbor calls the police, the police die laughing when they hear what you’ve said. Then the FBI gets involved because dead cops and the goat turns out to be a drug trafficker.

    See what you’re doing to your followers, Pat?

    • sherman

      And yet, your comment is more logical than his statement…

  • sherman

    Legal at last, legal at last, god almighty we’re legal at last!

    • Ted.OR

      A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
      And no one can fuck with a horse, of course….

  • TexPlant

    will this man croak already

  • Michael Rush

    an excercise for
    Pat Robertson …
    put your hands over your mouth
    speak no evil ( you dim little ape )

  • gaymex

    I like really big tits, so I’m torn–holstein or jersey?

    • sherman

      Definitely the holstein. I’ve fondled more than a couple in my youth.

      • gaymex

        lol. Those early mornings are a bitch.

  • j.martindale

    I love my siamese to death. Unfortunately, he has been playing hard to get. Since you are the expert in these matters, Pat, how would you suggest we consummate the relationship?

    • SFHarry

      Make sure to trim his claws!

    • KarenAtFOH

      Smear yourself with chicken fat. At least you will get a thorough licking.

  • JR

    Senility.

  • Ginger Snap

    I don’t eat them and I do love them but I don’t think I’ll be having a “love afair” with one anytime soon.

  • rednekokie

    This nit-wit is still crazy as a bed bug. Time and age have not mellowed or improved his hateful attitude at all.
    I’m still awaiting the grand funeral at 700 club. Bet it’ll be a barn burner.

  • grada3784

    Well, considering his wife had sex with the old goat at least once.

  • Tor

    Pat has such a rich fantasy life.

    • trouble94114

      Or he spent too much time listening to Neal “my first girlfriend was a mule” Horsely from Georgia

  • BaddogLtd

    That’s the ticket Pat. Just keep that putrid thing you call a heart beating long enough to see the first female president (H.C). Than shuffle of & go meet ‘Teh Jesus’ with a look of abject horror and defeat. http://www.drmomentum.com/aces/images/robertsonphoot.jpg

  • KQCA

    Bear in mind, the name “Obergefell” in the case referenced here is a bereaved, widowed, respectable gentleman. But Patty Robertson knows nothing other than contempt for all humankind.

  • D. J.

    Pat’s wife has been married to a jackass for decades. Nothing new…..
    Somebody should keep an eye on those Huckabee kids while they’re at it.

  • D. J.

    Does this mean Faux Gnus has to close up shop?

  • Ted.OR

    At ~1:27 —
    Terry: “Relationships with children, there have been groups that have been trying to push that for a long time.”
    Pat: “Well, they will succeed now…”

    That’s true, Pat and Terry, and it’s called the Roman Catholic Church.

  • MikeBx2

    Reality: What does polygamy and pedophilia almost always have in common? Religion.

  • Queequeg

    Five men in black robes? Does he not realize that there are women on the Supreme Court?
    No way to reason around beastiality and pedophilia? How about the fact that neither non human animals nor children can give legal consent?

  • ChadSF

    Hey grampy!

  • Christophe

    Prison, Pat. That’s where you lying, scumbag grifters belong. Plenty of evidence over decades.

  • Jan Wesselius

    Then the bible made it OK for incest, as in Adam and Eve, Noah, and the Duggar.

  • Well, I’m sure your father and the chimp he fucked on a drunken dare will be happy to hear this, Pat.

  • josephsinger

    Pat Robertson has a mental illness.

  • DaveMiller135

    OMG, preacher man; step away from the dog.

  • Free Love

    Yeah, motherfucker, but I’ve lived with my cat for 18 years, which is a helluva lot longer than a lot of marriages last. Anyway, he’s gay too, so what’s the big deal?

  • Joseph Miceli

    The Pat Robertson Express
    Ingredients:
    1 oz Fireball Whiskey
    1/2 oz cream
    splash soda
    Directions:
    Take one shot every half hour to toast Pat’s entry into Hell on the night of his death. Celebrate till you can’t stand up … just like Pat!

  • Jeffrey Samuels

    Whether he believes this crap or is just saying it for the shock effect, by publicizing this garbage we are simply giving him and his handlers what they want: free publicity for his tv station and show. Rather, his senile blathering should be ignored and consigned to the dust heap of historical insanity where it belongs.

  • kaydenpat

    Sure it does, Robertson. Whatever helps you to sleep at night.

  • TreGibbs

    I do love my cats!

  • agcons

    You can fuck your dog any time you like, Pat. You don’t need government permission; you just need to keep quiet about it.

    • KarenAtFOH

      If he wants to get married, he can hire his own law team and fight through the courts on his own.

  • perversatile
  • skeptical_inquirer

    If he had an enema just before he died, would the rest of his remains fit into a matchbox? (you probably know who I’m paraphrasing)

  • gaymex

    Pat’s nightmare
    …a flying monkey…kinda.
    https://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=5aFVRiXJ6K8

    • Who released the Dona;d Trump sex tape?!!?

      • gaymex

        In their black hearts and deranged minds, this is how they view us…multiplied by a power of 10. This won’t change until they die out.

  • I mean, as a 29 year old single straight girl, I would totally be down to marry my adorable pit bull puppy at this point… because…. fuck men…. but i don’t think this is because gays can marry. It’s because straight men are insufferable. And because Tinder ruined dating. And because Cooper is just so damn cute!

    Can’t say he doesn’t make a darling bride with a veil…

  • gaymex

    Flagged.