Do Not Mess With Ms. Lupone

Broadway World reports:

According to Broadway World’s astute message board posters, the trouble began at the show’s matinee performance, which Auggie 27 described as ‘Cell Phone Hell.’ The post reads: “The SECOND ACT of the “Shows for Days” matinee today was besieged with cell phone ringing, first one long unanswered call that threatened to ring for the rest of the performance, and then two or more which resulted in someone leaping up and answering in the semi-opened door. At the same time, a hearing aid apparently went haywire, and buzzed into the ether for the remainder.” Ms. LuPone kept her cool throughout the performance, but rightfully reached her limit during the evening performance when she noticed the texting attendee. Lincoln Center has confirmed to Broadway World that the incident did in fact occur.

Broadway World also notes that last week an audience member tried to charge his phone in a fake onstage electrical socket during a performance of Hand To God.

  • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

    Don’t fuck with Patti. HAHAHAHAHA

  • BearEyes

    Good.

  • Dave B

    I was 3 rows behind an asshole who answered his phone while Placido Domingo was onstage singing. He said “Hello”………… “Oh I can talk”

    • ZhyKitty

      *jaw drop* So RUDE!

    • SelectFromWhere

      I was at a touring show once and not long into the first number, I heard someone from the audience near the front yell “SHUUUUT UPPP!!!” to someone sitting near him. The funniest thing was, I recognized the voice as someone I knew.
      Ran in to him later and he said two old bitties were just clucking away from the moment the curtain went up, about every costume piece, every set piece, etc.

    • tcinsf

      My story – SF has a festival called “Hardly Strictly Bluegrass – it’s awesome. Odetta was playing, may have been once of the last shows before she died, and she opened with “This Little Light of Mine.” Some idiot is on her phone, yakkity yak, talking to friends about what they’re doing later in the day. Everyone around her, in unison, turned and told her to STFU, then some nice lad (ahem) explained to her what she was hearing and how privileged she was to be hearing it.

  • Rick

    Miss Lupone is not having any of your shit.

    • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

      That should be the pre-show and intermission announcement right after the “no cellphones” warning.

    • David Walker

      Worst/best diva experience was at a Maureen McGovern concert. 700 seat theater (SRO) and the cell phone announcement was the curtain speech. Ms. McG was into a really subtle, heartbreaking ballad and a phone started ringing. It rang a couple of times and Ms. McG soldiered on, although you could tell she was pissed. But then the phone person started talking. The theater was sufficiently intimate so everyone could hear that it was not an emergency call. Ms. McG stopped the concert, bitched at and dressed down the offender, asked an usher to escort the callous one out of the theater, the audience pretty much turned around and booed the phone lady, and then cheered as she was shown the nearest exit. “God save us from cell phones,” Ms. McG commented, then added, “Anyone mind if I sing that song again?” No one did. It was a truly great moment. It obviously was a few years ago.

  • Gustav2

    For what you pay for a ticket these days you would think you would pay attention to the show.

    • ZhyKitty

      Some people are so privileged, they just take everything for granted. I’d give anything to be able to go to shows like that, but even if we lived where they had them, we couldn’t afford to go, and wouldn’t have the proper clothes, either. Meanwhile someone so blessed as to be able to go to shows acts like a total prick and ignores all good manners, disturbs everyone around them, and doesn’t even appreciate the show.
      That’s life for you. Totally wasted on those who have it good.

      • Gustav2

        Kids these days just don’t appreciate how hard it was for grandfather to get into an Ivy.

      • FloBear

        For future reference, Kitty, if you are ever offered the chance to go to theater, do not refuse because of wardrobe. Just wear neat and clean clothes. There is no longer a dress code for any theater. It’s not like the Metropolitan Opera.

    • StSean

      i’m going to be in NYC in october for NYCC and thought, “i’d love to see a show!” but not at current prices. sad, because i saw lettuce & loveage, aspects of love and les miz when i was in college all for under $100.

      • FloBear

        Sean, line up at the TKTS booth in Times Square. Dozens of shows on sale for half price every day. Or check the listings for Off Broadway – tix generally start at twenty bucks.

        • StSean

          this is true, but i’ll be at the con all day every day and don’t want to hang out in line while fun things are happening at the javitz center.

    • JD

      I imagine most of it is people who get dragged along with an enthusiastic spouse. Patti Lupone talked about this phenomenon in an interview once. She said she could see all the rich husbands who went to the theater weekly but often fell asleep during the show.

  • it’s becoming epidemic. it’s bad enough that moviegoing experiences are continually ruined by selfish cell-users, but wayyy too many live theatrical experiences, too. utterly gross.

    • TheManicMechanic

      I gave up going to the cinema these days, one of the primary reasons is people with cell phones. I like to sit at the back of the house so I have no one behind me, so that leaves the rest of the audience in full view in front of me. The people pulling out their phones during the movie are highly distracting, I had to resort to kicking the seat of the person in front of me when they pulled out their phone during the show. There’s no enjoyment when all this bad behavior abounds.

      • jomicur

        It would be bad enough if it were only the cell phone thing. But even when they’re not talking or texting on their phones, they’re talking anyway, as if they think they’re on MST3K or something.

        A few years ago a guy in the audience at a small art house theater here was talking to his friend so loudly some of us had trouble hearing the movie. After half an hour of this, I was finally fed up and yelled at him, “If you have to talk, why can’t you talk softly?” He quieted down, but after the movie he confronted me in the lobby and told me how terribly rude I had been to him. The sense of entitlement runs that deep.

      • bambinoitaliano

        Worst still, they are people who think they have a shot in the world of comedy start making stupid jokes during the screening and further encourage by their friends laughter.

      • Toasterlad

        I used to enjoy sitting in the back of the movie theater as well, but have switched to sitting in the middle, hoping to at least limit the chance some asshole will disrupt my experience by whipping out their cell phone. I’ve had mixed results.

        • David Walker

          We’ve stopped going entirely because of the noise level and rude behavior. One may have to wait and there is a sacrifice of enjoying it with an audience, but since the audience killed it for us anyway, the alternative methods are fine.

          When I was doing sound for live theater, I was always happy to see a couple of ushers who had no qualms about shining a flashlight on a phone or camera offender, demand the device, and informed the violator that s/he could pick it up at the box office later. I would always thank them for doing it.

          • TheManicMechanic

            The boorishness of the patrons is now only one aspect of why I can’t go to the cinema. These days you are bombarded by a constant stream of advertising before the previews are run, and in some cases they put an ad or two between each preview, the emergency exit warnings even have product placement in them, sometimes on the ticket stubs as well. The outrageous pricing on concessions are insane, and the bathrooms are a disgusting mess. One year during a lull in the film I dashed to the bathroom and ended up sliding at least eight feet with my arms and legs flailing because of the sheer amount of urine splashed along the line of urinals. And this is at a fairly high-end theater, not some bargain basement second run thing. I used grouse and grumble when people would bring babies into the movies. Funny, that seems to be barely an issue anymore, I guess the babies are far better behaved than their parents.

          • David Walker

            Because the movie theaters in Lancaster, PA were built in the teens and ’20s, the ’50s and ’60s large format movies wound up being smaller than the regular screen movies. A theater was built in the early ’50s as a theater able to show CinemaScope and other large format movies in stereo. It was a one floor auditorium. However, they also built, on the projection booth level, a nursery on audience right and a party room on the left. The sound was in stereo in both rooms. It was a relief to hear baby crying go to the back of the house and then disappear. At some point the theater was subdivided into a multi-screen and finally closed and made into apartments.

      • JD

        I now threaten movie-talkers with a seat-shake and a “shut the fuck up”. If they make a single comment, I give them a pass, but instances like the screening of Thor in which one viewer tried to explain the whole goddamn Marvel universe to his friend? I don’t tolerate that shit.

        • olandp

          When I went to see Silence of the Lambs a guy behind me who had seen it before was with someone who hadn’t. Mr. know it all kept saying, “There’s a surprise coming, there’s a surprise coming…” Finally I turned around and asked, “What’s going to happen?”

          He had the nerve to say, “Watch the movie.” I replied, “I’m trying to.”

    • Maurine

      I can’t think of a time in the last 3 years of going to live shows I haven’t seen someone using their phone.
      What is so freaking important they can’t sit still for 2-3 hours? Why did they pay all that money for a theatre ticket? Some of the worst offenders are people over 40 who should know better!

  • Bj Lincoln

    GOOD FOR HER! I am sick of people mumbling through speeches and cell phones ringing when they should be turned off. It is uncivilized and rude. I leave mine in the car. I am at a show that cost me a pretty penny and if there is an emergency, it will have to wait. Just like before cell phones. I do NOT need to be available because I have a cell phone. Not everyone HAS to be glued to it either.

    • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

      Or they could just put them on “airplane” mode, or silence them, or dim the screen….but they can’t be expected to do that either.

    • Robincho

      Watching the grown-ups scurry when the old black Bakelite rang, I honestly thought, as a young boy, that
      it was illegal not to answer it. That passed in time, but then Mom got a Princess™ extension in the bedroom,
      and boy howdy the fish were seriously jumpin’ then!…
      Smaller things elicited greater, more long-lasting joys.
      Now, I’m not only all get off my fuckin’ lawn, I’m all get out of my fuckin’ theater, too… 🙁

      • cleos_mom

        At least you were a kid. My mom actually believed that it was illegal to not answer a phone when it range. Never did find out when she learned otherwise.

    • bambinoitaliano

      I’ve always told people, I’m not a fire fighter, a surgeon or a paramedic. Any emergency situation while I want to be notify as soon as possible is relative to my capability to rectify the situation. If someone is dead, it can wait. If someone in need of medical attendance, 911 offer better option, even if a love one was kidnap or in a life threatening situation, the one call to save the person is still 911. While it’s important to tell someone you love him or her in their dying breath, which should be express while they were still alive and well, I will always choose a pragmatic route.

      • Toasterlad

        I went to the movies recently with two friends, one of whom was a reporter for a local paper. My other friend sat between us. After the show, I found out that the reporter had gotten a call from her paper, left the theater to answer it, went to cover the story, and was back in her seat before the show ended, all without me knowing she’d ever left. Because she had it on vibrate, and got up quickly and quietly to answer it outside the theater. Because she’s not a sociopath.

        • bambinoitaliano

          She as a professional probably rely on her phone a lot at any time of the day. I’m sure she’s been in many situation where yapping on a phone loudly is not socially acceptable. Beside those that feel entitled, I believe the general masses have not educate themselves enough regarding the social ethics of employing digital devices. Since most of us are in the environment where cellphones and tablets are permitted in most places.

  • ArchiLaw

    Now if she could only convince the ushers to do this consistently!

  • clay

    Do you remember when our phones were only at home, and only some of us had answering machines? Things still got taken care of.

    • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

      Black, Bakelite, rotary dial, mounted on the kitchen wall. We were in high cotton when my grandparents finally got a six foot cord and we could go around the corner for “privacy.” Don’t be on that phone for longer than 2 minutes, or risk getting yelled at that someone might be trying to call. My grandmother had a lady friend who lived in a toll area, but it wasn’t a toll call for grandma to call her. She would call and let it ring, hang up, call let it ring twice, hang up. That was the code for “call me back” and God help you if you answered the phone anytime before three rings and caused dear Old Nettie to get a toll call.

      When my grandmother passed away in the 90’s and I had to close up the house, I remember calling to cancel the phone service. Still the same rotary phone. The CSR paused and said, this can’t be correct, this number has been assigned for 56 years. Yep. Correct. The label on the dial still had “home xxxx” which was the old word code for the exchange and the last four for the number.

      • clay

        and party lines!

        • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

          We didn’t have those, but I remember my grandmother telling stories about them before we had our own line.

          • another_steve

            Grandma here. 🙂

            As a kid, when I had to make a call and the party line was “busy,” I would say to whomever was on the line: “My mom is waiting for a call from me. Could you please hang up and let me call?”

        • lymis

          My husband grew up with a party line. The kids still can’t quite understand that, no, it’s not the same as a conference call.

          • clay

            ( not supposed to be the same )

        • Mark

          That and our ring was two long and one short…

          • John30013

            Ours was two short. We had that party line until I was 16 and we moved inside the city limits.

          • Mark

            I think they brought the regular phones to us in about 1960 as I remember – but still on a party line – lived out on a farm so party line until 1974 I think it was. I was out of college before that so not sure.

    • Michael Abbett

      When people had free time and spent it on themselves doing creative and fun things and weren’t expected to be on call 24/7 for their jobs. Wage theft, plain and simple, and people stand in line for the privilege. We had a party line and it cost $12 a month.

      • SelectFromWhere

        I daresay most of the calls that ring during theater and movie showings are NOT of a work nature, just someone calling to chat.
        Either way, there’s no excuse to answer them. If you’re expecting a life-or-death work call, switch your theatre tickets.
        (It’s bad enough in the gym locker room where some guys have started having literally 20-minute work phone calls despite signs saying no cell phones in the locker room. I’ve started running the hair dryer as conspicuously as possible when they do, to no avail.)

        • another_steve

          My fav is the person in the restaurant booth next to yours who obviously has a bad connection and as a result shouts, literally shouts, into the cellphone.

          • Kissmagrits

            One can always tell him about the boy scout experiments involving two soup cans and a wet string.

        • John30013

          Worse than the locker room is the guy who has a 20-minute conversation while he’s sitting on the weight bench or machine someone else wants to use. Super rude!

      • Duh-David

        You are stretching to try to get your politics involved. Theses are NEVER necessary calls.

        When was the last time you heard someone say, “get your sister out of the house and go across the street to Mrs. Olsen’s and call the fire house.” Brain surgeons went to the theatre for years, left the theatre number with the service and told the house manager where they were seated.

    • another_steve

      I predict there’ll come a time when all attendees at auditorium/theater events will be required to leave their electronic devices in nice little lockers in the lobby, and will retain the key handed to them until the end of the performance.

      Some people are just rude or stupid or both.

      No announcement from the stage to “please turn off…” will ever work.

      • Todd Allis

        And if they’re caught sneaking in a device, it gets confiscated or destroyed, and they get ejected with no refund. There’d have to be a waiver to cover that part.

        • MickinDetroit

          The issue is theaters not enforcing the rules. There already is a waiver… from the standard ticket terms….
          “Subject to applicable law and rules of the Theater, smoking, talking on cell phones during the performance and disorderly conduct in the Theater and any recording or photographing of the performance is strictly prohibited. Food and beverage, weapons, illegal drugs and other contraband are not permitted inside the Theater premises. Ticket holder consents to a reasonable search for such items. Violators of this provision may be required to leave the Theater without any refund, and may be subject to revocation of their Account Holder status and Tickets. Ticket holders arriving after a show performance begins are subject to the Producer’s, Presenter’s and Theater’s late seating rules, and seating may be delayed and is at the discretion of management. No refunds for late arrivals.”

          • SelectFromWhere

            Yeah, it doesn’t matter what rules they have if they don’t enforce them (late seating being one of my pet peeves–people realize that theatres will hold the curtain for latecomers, thus they don’t even try to get there on time, meaning “late”comers are even more late, pushing the curtain back farther and farther. I say, start at 8 PM, only seat people between scenes, and maybe they’ll start getting there when they should).

            Unfortunately, theater ticket sales are declining, so the theaters have to kowtow to “the customer” like everywhere else, rude patrons or not.

          • Kissmagrits

            My local symphony won’t seat anyone who’s late until intermission. It’s been that way since I can remember and the same goes for our annual piano recital series. And a thought just occurred to me: Wouldn’t enforcement of seating rules have the opposite effect? It would certainly win points with me.

          • Todd Allis

            “Use of a cell phone, camera, or other recording device may result in that device being confiscated and/or destroyed.” There.

        • perversatile

          I like the idea of some style of public shaming, such as a stockade in the lobby, with a sign hung around the offenders neck that reads “user”

          • David Walker

            Oooh. Entertainment both in the auditorium and in the lobby. Sort of like “Barnum,” only with derision rather than juggling.

          • perversatile

            I like the way you think

      • StSean

        when i was teaching, i often considered bringing a (not-quite-legal) signal blocker to keep my students from being distracted.

        • SelectFromWhere

          I have wondered how teachers handle this. Makes me even more glad I bailed out after my student teaching, and that was almost 30 years ago.

          • David Walker

            I did a guest lecture at a local college and the prof did his usual number: All phones turned off and all phones on your desk.

        • JD

          It’s used a lot by test proctors working with large classes. No texting answers back and forth–I hear the looks on the faces of frustrated cheaters is quite rewarding.

      • bambinoitaliano

        I heard of certain places in Europe that install signal jammer to prevent interruption. Though I can see the lawsuits in US piling up if a premise install such device that would have adverse effects on certain individuals with exceptional circumstances.

        • The problem is almost EVERYONE in America think they have exceptional circumstances…

  • LonelyLiberal

    Wonderful! Every time I’m at dinner with somebody and they pull out their cell phone, I want to remove it from their hands and deposit it in the water pitcher.

    My boss used to do that, quite intentionally sending the signal, “I’m more important than you are,” but got incensed when anybody did it to him. With the side effect that we all started doing it to him, including calling each other when we knew he was talking to somebody.

  • Gigi
    • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

      How dare you! Who do you think you are posting that!

      • Craig Howell

        Um, yes. Recording a performance, even just the sound, is also verboten.

        • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

          That’s what she said.

    • ZhyKitty

      God, I love her.

      • barracks9

        I got to usher for a cabaret performance she did at the New Orleans Center for the Creative Arts (our performing arts high school). We were in the house before it opened, and Ms. Lupone came out – in her dressing gown and hair rollers – to inspect the stage. Not sure if it was for our benefit or just because Patti, but she lit largely into the stage manager for the piano not being perfectly polished and the rug being 6″ out of place. It was Epic Patti – a moment I will treasure forever. 🙂

  • It is totally out of control! When you have an audience member crawling up on stage to plug their cellphone into a non working outlet that is part of the scenery (Hand to God) I guess we need longer curtain speeches? Maybe cellphones need to be mandatorily shut off. As an actor I can tell you there is nothing more annoying than a cell phone ringing during the most quiet and sensitive part of the play. We used to just deal with slowly unwrapped candies (which was bad enough) but texting and ringing during the performance NO…!

    • BobSF_94117

      I think it’s time we start tasering the audience as they enter the theatre, thus short-circuiting any electrical equipment.

      • Toasterlad

        If I knew I would get me through a goddamn movie or play without having it interrupted by the glare of some asshole’s cell-phone, I’d happily get tasered at the entrance.

      • Craig Howell

        A Modest Proposal!

  • ZhyKitty

    I love her SO much! Her performance on Penny Dreadful this season was…transcendent.

    Those rude people with their phones should be asked to leave.
    Good on her for what she did!

  • TheManicMechanic

    Bravo! I am sick to death of self-centered assholes and their fucking cell phones. Coming into a performance, show, or concert? Turn the damn thing off before you get seated. Better yet, leave it in the car. If you must have an electronic pacifier, at least have the decency to mute it and keep it in your purse or pocket.

    • David Walker

      Unfortunately, even vibrate makes a noise. It is remotely possible that a phone transmission can interfere with the sound system. I had that happen several times.

      • TheManicMechanic

        I’ve heard the tell-tall rhythmic interference that’s caused by a cell phone’s periodic handshake with neighboring towers coming through theater sound systems, DJ PA systems and even my own sound systems. It’s not usually caused by theater patrons or other audiences, but if the projectionist, the DJ or whoever is operating the sound system leaves their phone next to the equipment, this is what makes the sound. The phone needs to be in very close proximity of the amplifiers, and what is actually taking place is the circuits of the amplifier “detecting” the RF signals and presenting it as a clicking or buzzing. I’ve had a problem once at a movie where I heard the one-sided conversation from the projection booth.

        • David Walker

          This makes sense. Thanks.

  • GarySFBCN

    I thought the Apple watch was supposed to solve this problem.

    • TheManicMechanic

      These things will only make it worse. Their wrists will blink and light with each notification, and being actually tethered to their bodies, they will feel even more need to interact.

  • Nick in Pasadena

    Patti’s my new heroine! It’s bad enough that I have to put up with this when I go out to a movie (not as much these days, precisely because of crap like this) but it is unforgivable during live performances. Audience members should be required to check their devices upon entering the theater.

  • gaylib

    Good.

  • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

    This is as good as the diva who posted the “don’t go to the ocean” vid on Youtube. “You’re in the shark’s house. The shark has the right to eat you up.” Patti Lupone’s house. The woman with the phone must have had a death wish.

  • uhhuhh

    Meh. The people it’s rude to are the other attendees. The idea that the Diva’s “art” can’t be disturbed is a bit much. She works for the audience, not the other way around.

    • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

      They work for you the audience? No. You are paying for their product, not their servitude. It’s incredibly expensive for all involved in a production, on both sides of the stage. The rude interruptions aren’t disturbing “the diva’s art” but distracting the trained professional from doing their job.

      • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

        And distracting the audience who paid for their tickets.

      • uhhuhh

        It’s called capitalism. The customer is the one buying the ticket, including the customer whom she unlawfully assaulted.

        • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

          Nope. You are still wrong. The cast does not work for you any more than the artist whose paintings are exhibited in a museum does. No employment contract exists with the purchase of the ticket. The cast is hired by the production company. Your role in the process is to sit there, follow applicable house rules on private property, not disrupt the house, the cast or the performance and be entertained. Your acceptance of this social construct is indicated by the volition of your voluntary request to attend the performance.

          Of course, based on your comments in this post, and inability to participate in reasoned discourse instead of taking it personally, I’m most likely wasting my gum by speaking to you. Please, feel free to contact Patti Lapone with any further concerns: http://www.pattilupone.net/index.html

          You are dismissed.

          • uhhuhh

            First, I’m not “dismissed,” you arrogant asshole.

            Second, McDonald’s employees don’t have a contract with you either, but you’re still the paying customer, moron. Without that, the little show won’t go on.

            Third, the “house rules” do not override the law. She had plenty of lawful alternatives that did not involve battery and theft.

            Fourth, the “inability to participate in reasoned debate” is coming from you goddamn worshiping cult members.

          • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

            TL; DR

            I’m not sure what part of “you were dismissed” you did not understand. You are dismissed.

          • uhhuhh

            Funny, I don’t seem to be dismissed. Fuck you.

          • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

          • uhhuhh

            Still here, arrogant little asshole.

          • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

          • uhhuhh

            Dismiss yourself. You’re not ordering me anywhere, you arrogant ass.

          • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson
          • uhhuhh

            Still here, ass.

    • Kissmagrits

      Have you ever acted in a stage production and had your concentration shattered in the middle of a scene? Creating an illusion for an audience is damned hard work and a ringing cellphone or camera flash can undo the best of efforts.

      Then there’s the economic factor: Sky high ticket prices. So, if I’ve paid 50 to 100 bucks for a seat, I’m going to get adamant about the idiot who left his phone on.

      • uhhuhh

        Did you miss the part where I said it’s rude to the other patrons? Everybody’s job has challenges. This is about the most first world job problem imaginable.

        • Kissmagrits

          Oh, my. Since when does heeding a reasonable set of audience rules do more than express consideration?

    • TreGibbs

      As one who performs I can assure you that you are incorrect.

      • uhhuhh

        Don’t get a cut of that ticket price, huh? Do you imagine that being a performer exempts you from the criminal assault laws?

        • leastyebejudged

          I’d respect your opinion more if you weren’t such a liar.

        • TreGibbs

          So you’re defending the douche? Not sure what your point is – that Patti could be charged with criminal assault because she took someone’s phone?

          • uhhuhh

            That she had lawful alternatives and should be fawned over because she was also out of control.

          • TreGibbs

            She did the right thing. Was she supposed to put the show on hold and call the authorities? If an audience member acts like a childish asshole, then they deserve to be treated like a childish asshole. Mommy took baby’s toy away. I – and many others, including the people in the audience who paid hundreds of dollars to see the performance – applaud Ms. Lupone.

          • uhhuhh

            You don’t get to declare yourself somebody else’s “Mommy” and snatch their property out of their hands. You’re as bad as the bigoted clerks deciding the evil gays don’t shouldn’t be allowed to have marriage licenses. That what you get when you cheer ignoring the law.

          • TreGibbs

            Oh please… now you’re comparing me to a bigoted clerk? You are fucking insane.

          • uhhuhh

            No, idiot. You’re too fucking stupid to read.

    • Toasterlad

      You are exactly the kind of person who should never be allowed in a theater.

      You have no respect for art and no respect for performers.

      • Teat

        And you are the kind of person who should never be compensated for your “art”.

        You have no understanding of the commercial aspect thereof, nor of the the consumer, who is ultimately your patron and source of sustenance.

        High-strung “theater trash” divas tend to forget this.

        • Toasterlad

          I am not an artist. I am a person with manners and an appreciation for the efforts of others.

          Please take your John Galt shit to Free Republic. They’d welcome you with open arms.

          • uhhuhh

            No. Sorry. Psychiatric help is available for your authoritarian personality issues.

          • Toasterlad

            Classic projection. If you’re so anti-social that you can’t sit in a public theater with an audience and watch the show instead of staring at your fucking screen, YOU need the psychiatrist.

            When you buy a ticket to public entertainment, especially for a live performance, you are committing to a social contract. That you will give your attention to the show, and be respectful and courteous to those around you, and they money they have paid to enjoy the experience.

            If you want to be an ignorant asshole, do so on the internet, in the privacy of of your own home. That’s what the internet is for. Don’t take your ignorant asshole schtick on the road. You’re not funny, you’re not clever, and no one but you thinks the world revolves around you.

          • uhhuhh

            LOL! Classic straw man. Are you really that profoundly stupid?

            Let me quote to you from my comment. “The people it’s rude to are the other attendees.” Apparently your authoritarian personality disorder is so severe that it has impaired your ability to read.

            After calling the texter’s behavior rude to others, I objected to LuPone’s diva behavior—which also happened to be a crime. You had a fucking tantrum because you’re so eaten up with fangirl cult membership that you can’t stand anyone not worshiping your demi-god. But screeching about how you worship your diva didn’t seem strong enough, so you decided you’d just erase my first sentence about the texter being rude and construct an elaborate (and disgustingly snobbish) straw man and pitch a fucking tantrum about that.

            Get a fucking appointment with a fucking psychiatrist.

          • Toasterlad

            Ah yes, I remember when I was a high school sophmore. Enjoy these years! Someday, you’re going to have to be an adult, and be judged by what you say and how you interact with people.

          • uhhuhh

            Translation: Now that you’ve shown me how my entire post was one massive straw man, Sir, I don’t have anything to say, so I’m going to try to save face despite my error by striking an arrogant condescending tone and leveling a personal attack.

      • uhhuhh

        LOL! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Omg I didn’t kiss her fucking ass like a fangirl and praise her criminal assault. Get over it.

        • leastyebejudged

          Criminal assault, LOL, you’re as intelligent about legal issue as everything else you comment on.

          • uhhuhh

            Go around slapping phones out of people’s hands and see how long you get away with it.

            As for your personal attack in response to nothing I’ve said about you, go fuck yourself.

        • Toasterlad

          I couldn’t care less about what you think about Patti Lupone and how she handles assholes. I don’t care what you think about anything. I’m just letting you know that if you don’t find performers worthy of your respect and attention, you need to keep your bratty asshole at home in its playpen where it belongs, and let the adults enjoy things meant for adults. And next time you see your parents, slap them for doing such a shitty job on you.

          • uhhuhh

            “The people it’s rude to are the other attendees.”

            Educate yourself, you pompous ignoramus: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man

          • Toasterlad

            “The idea that the Diva’s “art” can’t be disturbed is a bit much. She works for the audience, not the other way around.”

            Fuck you, you childish douche.

    • leastyebejudged

      That’s odd, I always thought that attending a performance was a privilege, and that performers are to be treated with the utmost respect since their job involves an extremely complex and fragile mastery that can be nearly impossible to pull off.

      Also, assholes that interrupt the experience for other patrons SHOULD be treated precisely like this :

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_1VmC_P2Nc

    • e’ville_globeguy

      Does your mommy know you’re playing on the computer?

      • uhhuhh

        Does yours know you’re vapid?

  • KQCA

    I have been at weddings and funerals when people got calls and conversed right there on the pew. At one, the father of the bride took a call from a friend and when his wife got onto him, he stepped outside to chat while his daughter got married.

  • TreGibbs

    Bravo for Patti Lupone. This cell phone bullshitb is out of hand.

  • Kissmagrits

    With all our hi-tech wizardry, we should be able to invent an impenetrable wireless exclusion zone – one that nullifies all telecom devices – in effect, creating an electronic dead zone. Theaters would still need their wireless mics and stagecraft signaling, but that’s easy enough to accomplish.

    • Claude Jacques Bonhomme
      • Kissmagrits

        Tee-hee! I’d forgotten this.

    • clay

      and would be a total violation of federal communications law.

      • leastyebejudged

        BIG fines there for violating it too…

        There are in fact devices that accomplish this, and it isn’t difficult to accomplish.

        But in an emergency you’d have to run out of “the zone” to get help, and it opens people up to liability, as well as being overkill, as not everybody with devices that are still on is inept.

        • danolgb

          We used to get along just fine with a payphone in the lobby.

          • leastyebejudged

            That’s true.

            I haven’t seen a working payphone in a decade though.

          • danolgb

            They still exist at Disneyland. Complete with TTY keyboards.

          • leastyebejudged

            That’s nice.

    • SelectFromWhere

      I fantasize about that, but it would never happen because people would claim “I’m a doctor and need to be able to get emergency calls (yeah, wonder just how many of those phone rings have been “emergencies”). The same reason cellphones at schools can’t be disallowed–parent scream bloody murder that they can’t contact Dylan “in an emergency”, never mind how most of us grew up in a time when a real emergency meant your parents would call the office and they would come and get you.

      • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

        They would do it the same way they did it before cell phones and pagers.

      • Canadian Observer

        Someone should have the guts to point out to the parents that “Dylan” is unlikely to be a heart surgeon and a life hangs in the balance if he cannot be reached, alternately, that “live” donor transplants are planned in advance. Or could it be that “Dylan” is a faith healer and is needed to place his hands on someone?

    • danolgb

      They exist. They’re used in other countries. They’re just illegal in this one,

      But instead of an active device which jams signals, they could just make the theater a giant Faraday cage. It’s a passive solution. But a pretty expensive one.

      • Kissmagrits

        With the FCC as it’s currently configured, we’d have to get boardroom approval from Verizon and Ma Bell, wouldn’t we?

        • danolgb

          Pretty much.

  • Toasterlad

    Stupid people should not be allowed to go to theaters.

    • uhhuhh

      $$$$

  • Tonkaman

    Jonathon Groff said in an interview that Madonna pulled out her iPad during a show…..http://dot429.com/articles/6022-boys-of-summer

    So I guess it’s ok for her?

    • Toasterlad

      It is absolutely not okay for her. But no one ever accused Madge of being well-mannered.

  • perversatile

    I am so frikken proud of Miss Lupone- Brava Lady!

  • jomicur

    Audiences simply don’t know how to be audiences anymore. It’s why I seldom attend the theater these days (even though I love it) and NEVER go to the movies. It’s why some god or other, in his/her wisdom, created DVD players.

    • Hubby routinely gets up and tells people who are on their cell phones during movies to shut them off. Hes a big guy, and they quickly comply.

      However, not all of us are big folks, so the safest thing for us to do is to complain about rude behavior to the management and get these folks removed.

  • bambinoitaliano

    How does a Broadway show attract uncultured audience? Did the person stumble upon the performance?

    • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

      LOL “nouveau riche”

    • SelectFromWhere

      Actually, the tourist who saved up for months to go to NY and see a show is probably going to be overly respectful of the process, moreso than the Park Avenue investment banker for whom a Broadway show is the same to them as a cheap matinee movie is the the rest of us. The less “special” the environment is, the less mannerly they feel the need to be.

      • bambinoitaliano

        The arsehole probably get it for free too. If I have to pay upwards of over $100 ticket for a show, I better make sure I take in every scene and pray that there’s no lady with a giant up do sitting in front of me.

      • ejcsanfran

        When I was in NYC a last year, I’d bought tix to several shows I wanted to see – but I also had a free afternoon and grabbed some half-off tix at TKTS to see “Les Miserables” (which this old theater queen had never actually seen! But I digress…)

        Anyway, I noted with trepidation that this Wed afternoon performance was filling up with adolescents, apparently on field trips from school. I prepared for the worst – and was pleasantly surprised to find it was one of the most respectful, engaged and enthusiastic audiences I encountered that week!

        Much different from the guy behind me at “Gentleman’s Guide…” the following evening who cursed me out repeatedly at intermission because I’d said “shhh” to him when he was talking throughout Act I.

        • danolgb

          I saw Wicked in an audience with a bunch of high school students. I can’t say I had the same experience as you. It was like watching a musical with the studio audience of Saved By The Bell.

    • Kissmagrits

      Culture seems to have little to do with rudeness – it’s far more likely a sense of entitlement that comes with one’s imagined importance and is often seen in the newly wealthy.

      • bambinoitaliano

        Like donald dump?

        • Kissmagrits

          Exactically!

      • uhhuhh

        OMG your “Old Money” condescension is as repellent as it is precious.

        How’s that lockjaw speech affect working for you?

        • leastyebejudged

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DT-njVgfvsk

          “it’s far more likely a sense of entitlement that comes with one’s imagined importance and is often seen in the newly wealthy.”

          Actually, the “imagined importance” part is where most of the emphasis of the remark is placed, and it definitely applies to you.

          What is it about you faux libertarians that makes you think you’re the center of the fucking universe and that everybody around you is your own personal slave ?

          • uhhuhh

            Personal attack #4.

          • leastyebejudged
          • uhhuhh

            #5

          • leastyebejudged
          • uhhuhh

            #7. You need help.

          • Kissmagrits

            Poor baby – You’re just a Christian martyr, that’s what you are – – –

          • uhhuhh

            #6

          • Kissmagrits

            Oh, sweetie – don’t take it so personally. Like my sainted mother was wont to say on occasion: “If the foo shits, wear it!”.

          • e’ville_globeguy

            I’m guessing you know the joke that line is from?

        • Kissmagrits

          Lock jaw speech? Condescension? Not really – just reasonable consideration for others like my late mother taught me in the 1950s.

          As for 1950s audience behavior, movie theaters took it seriously and provided glassed-in viewing booths for mothers with crying babies and if we wanted to raise hell watching a film, we went to a drive-in. We could be rowdy at a buck a car on Wednesday.

    • ISTlife

      I suspect it’s much like the members of airline frequent flyer programs that think because they fly a few times a year, that they own the aircraft AND the staff on it, and are free to treat them accordingly – all while not following the rules and regulations set by airlines and several government agencies.

      Doesn’t matter if their bags or loose laptop end up getting someone else killed. It’s all about them.

  • clay

    Every week the Philly crime reports show people getting smart phones snatched. Would you go to a downtown corner and wave around $200? let it sit on a sidewalk cafe table? But that’s routinely done with brand new smart phones.

    • cleos_mom

      I’d think that any pickpocket or purse snatcher would make those phonebots who walk around looking like they’re praying his major targets. The thief would be home having a nightcap before the bot even knew anything was missing.

  • pj

    went to the goodman theatre in chicago to see a play starring the then unknown tom hardy. we were reminded 5 seperate times…in person twice and an announcement to shut off our phones. at the climax of the play a phone went off and the person was too embarassed to answer so it rang for what seemed like 5 minutes. the same thing happened at the chicago symphony. and that is part of the reason why i dont work in the performing arts anymore. its intensly disrespectful to the people onstage, some of whom have trained a lifetime to do the work, to have their art stopped cold by rude ignorant people.

  • Kevin-in-Honolulu

    Good for her! If it was up to me, all mobile devices would be confiscated at the door and returned to patrons after the performance, just like some schools must do to keep children focused and able to work.

  • KT

    I find that people, regardless of age group, are much more inconsiderate these days. I can’t tell you how many times I have been to movies where people freely text or talk to each other like they are in their living rooms. I find elderly people do not text but they are rude in their own ways – talking loudly and unwrapping those damn candies or one of my biggest pet peeves, leaving the theater before the cast takes it bows so they can beat the traffic. The theaters also need to stop letting people in after the curtain rises – almost ever single play I have been to starts late anyway – if people are showing up at 8:15, sorry but you have forfeited your ticket to see the show. Show up on time! Then there are the people who listen to music so loudly you can hear it over their headphones. They drive me up a wall.

    I sometimes want to go to these people and say “It must be nice to not give a shit about anyone but yourself”.

    • Alex in Idaho

      My sister lives in Florida, and rude old people are always cutting in line in front of her at the pharmacy, bank, wherever. She says to them, “It must be terrible to be so old that you forgot your manners!”

  • pj

    patty should have bitch slapped that woman.

  • Dale082

    Ooo! Did anyone get video? 🙂

    • barracks9

      You’re evil, Pats – that’s why we adore you!

  • Claude Jacques Bonhomme
  • Claude Jacques Bonhomme
  • Pugsandcoffee

    I am going to start campaigning for the City Council to create a law: Patti LuPone, and LuPone alone, is legally allowed to slap whomever she wants in a theatre. ANYONE. No penalty. Whatever reason you did to deserve a slap from Patti, you no doubt deserved it, and we deserve to experience it happening.

  • Toasterlad

    Elaine Stritch told a great story about understudying for Ethel Merman during a performance of some show where a drunk was constantly yelling things out during a musical number. After several minutes of this, with no one doing anything about it, Ethel stops singing before the final note of the song, climbs down off the stage, grabs the guy by the collar, drags him up the aisle, tosses him out on the street, walks back down the aisle, climbs back up on the stage, and belts out the last note of the song as if nothing had happened.

    Don’t fuck with divas.

    • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

      I just googled that story and it was a great read. Found another one about Merman and Harvey Fierstein too.

      • Toasterlad

        She tells it live in her show “Elaine Stritch: At Liberty”, available now on DVD! (Highly recommended. She’s got fantastic stories about Marlon Brando, Rock Hudson, Judy Garland, Noel Coward, and many others, as well.)

        • JD

          I love the Judy quote! She says it after she and Elaine had been up until dawn drinking: “Elaine, I never thought I’d say this, but good night.”

          • Toasterlad

            I quote that an alarmingly often amount of time.

  • Jeffrey

    A few years ago in Vegas I saw St Patti of Lupone eviscerate someone three rows in front of me over a cell phone right at the beginning of Don’t Cry for Me. It was at least ten minutes, but seemed like longer. Like seeing mommy really lose her shit. And then right back into the song.

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    “Broadway World also notes that last week an audience member tried to charge his phone in a fake onstage electrical socket during a performance of Hand To God.”

    Jesus christ what is wrong with people? You are there to see a performance. Turn off your fucking cell phones. You will be away from them for two hours. You can survive without texting someone for two hours. I could understand leaving the phone on vibrate in case of emergencies, but otherwise they need to turn off their fucking phones.

    • Piet

      I read that and immediately wondered whether (some) people just are too stupid to know the difference between a stage set and real life? It’s not your own living room, moron, it’s a stage — you’re supposed to sit and watch what happens there, not go up and try to live in it.

  • Octavio

    Ms. Lupone is fabulously divine. And if you piss her off she’ll cut ya.

  • leastyebejudged

    I don’t know what it is about people’s stupid phones that’s more important than being aware of your surroundings and the people trying to interact with you.

    If someone’s compulsively glued to their phone, I don’t even try anymore.

    There are plenty of people that aren’t idiots to talk to and be friends with.

  • danolgb

    I’m amazed by the number of people I’m seeing responding to this elsewhere who are defending the texter and think there is no issue with texting in a theater.

    • uhhuhh

      Well, (1) she had no fucking clue what the text was about, and (2) she committed the crime of battery.

      • danolgb

        well 1) doesn’t matter. It was already said using phones was prohibited in the theater and 2) that’s not the definition of battery and 3) don’t go to the theater.

        • uhhuhh

          (1) theater rules don’t override the law, (2) snatching a phone out of somebody’s hands most certainly does qualify as battery, and (3) I’ll go wherever I damn well please.

          • danolgb

            1) you agree to certain terms when you use the ticket (it’s on the ticket) 2) still not battery 3) still, don’t go to the theater.

          • uhhuhh

            (1) Those terms do not include having Patti Lapone snatch your phone from your hand and confiscate it. (2) If you don’t think snatching somebody’s phone our of their hand and confiscating it is unlawful, go do it to somebody walking down the street. Get a law degree and stop embarrassing yourself with legal pronouncements.

            (3) I’ll go wherever I damn well please, you little arrogant ass.

            OMG you people are a fucking cult.

      • stevenj

        Your defense of the texter is pretty lame. Do you have proof of your ridiculous claim there was battery? You obviously aren’t interested in the actor’s point of view but for anyone else that might be here is the NYT story and interview:

        http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/10/theater/hold-the-phone-its-patti-lupone.html?partner=rss&emc=rss&_r=0

        • uhhuhh

          I’m not “defending” the texter. I’m accusing the diva of crossing the line. She had plenty of lawful alternatives and shouldn’t be praised for this self-entitled behavior.

          • stevenj

            This is where you’re mixed up. It’s the person with the cell phone who texted during the entire play (the audience was told to turn them off at the beginning of the play and again before Act 2) that crossed the line. Your reasoning is very specious here. And what about this battery claim?

          • uhhuhh

            Where you’re “mixed up” is that I didn’t say anything about the texter having some right to text. In fact, I said in my very first comment here before anything else that it was rude to the other attendees.

            The house rules do not override the law. Battery and theft of property. If you want to understand battery, try Google and “offensive touching.”

          • stevenj

            Overblown and a projection.

          • uhhuhh

            Mindless, ego-servicing reply.

  • DaveMiller135

    Did no one think to video it? On their phone.

    • David Walker

      Excellent. Just fucking excellent.

  • zoli

    Good for Patti, one classy dame. Further proof that our electronic devices are turning us into, or rather bringing out our inner, idiots.

  • cleos_mom

    Give Patti a medal !

    I seem to remember an account of a show a few years ago where one of the actors glared out into the audience and told a StupidPhone user to “turn that fucking thing off.”

  • JCF

    Do Not Mess w either Patti…or Panti.

  • CB

    Seeing the show tonight. Hoping people will behave. It’s appalling that people have no consideration for others, but it happens all the time.

  • Dot Beech

    Change the law and jam the damned phones in theaters, concert halls and cinemas. For Patti.

    • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

      Patti’s Law

  • olandp

    If you can’t turn off your phone for three hours, you really shouldn’t leave home.

  • Brava, diva!

  • Rrhain

    I once was doing a production of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (abridged) and was doing the opening monologue which goes over various business such as no cameras, turn off your cell phones, etc. In prep, I came up with a little bit of verse to recite should someone’s phone go off.

    And sure enough, opening night, I get to that part of the monologue and someone’s phone goes off. Not the “I’m powering down” sound, but an actual phone call. So I got to use it:

    But hark! I hear a calling bird of most peculiar squawk.
    It sings to us at the most inconvenient time to talk.
    And see! The fool! He takes it out! But listen, does he say,
    “I cannot talk to you right now because I’m at a play”?
    Dear friends, I beg you, here and now, save me from being crass
    And put away that phone right now before I kick your ass.

    It’s iambic septameter, alas, not pentameter, and not a sonnet, either, but I like it.

    • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

      Standing O?

  • fuzzybits

    Good on Patti. There’s a whole big sidewalk outside to talk on your cell phone about nothing.

  • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson
  • Ginger Snap

    Rude, rude, rude! Why do people bother going out if their phone is their life. I hate cell phone whores.

  • JCF

    Tony Award to Patti’s Snatch! ;-p

  • rednekokie

    Hooray — if everyone who performs did this, the assholes who constantly interrupt everything with their damned phones might pay attention and at least turn them off.
    I’m for not only grabbing them, but stomping them into the ground on the spot.

  • Willym

    I have to admit that Miss LuPone is not one of my favourite performers (ducking the flames being thrown) but in this case I give her a standing ovation. Lately between cellphones and flash photos going to see an opera/ballet/play/musical can be like attending a performance in a bell factory illuminated by a lightening storm.

    And the person in question should be happy that all that happened was that her phone was taken away from her.