AUSTRALIA: Agriculture Minister Says Gay Marriage Will Hurt Cattle Exports

Via Australia’s ABC affiliate:

Federal Agriculture Minister Barnaby Joyce has warned Asian countries could see Australia as “decadent” if moves to legalise same-sex marriage are successful. Mr Joyce was asked about comments last week by another frontbencher opposed to gay marriage, Eric Abetz, who is the Leader of the Government in the Senate. Senator Abetz suggested that if Asian countries did not accept same-sex marriage then Australia should not either, pointing to the often-repeated phrase that for Australia this was the Asian century. “Eric is right in saying where we live economically is south east Asia, that’s where our cattle go,” Mr Joyce told the ABC’s Insiders program. “When we go there, there are judgments whether you like it or not that are made about us. They see us as decadent.”

Australia’s Parliament will consider a marriage bill when it resumes next month.

  • Mark

    Aw bloody hell mate — give it up! You’re an arse, or a yobbo at least.

    • TheManicMechanic

      Fair dinkum.


    At least that is an original rationalization. Along the same line of reasoning, you should ban Christianity.

  • LonelyLiberal

    Throw this shrimp on the barbie (and let him bounce against her plastic crotch, I guess…)

  • S1AMER

    That’s a load of bull!

  • Gyeo

    Decadent? Have you seen cities like Singapore and Kuala Lumpur? It doesn’t take gay marriage for a country to be exploitative and decadent.

    • BobSF_94117


      Aren’t they pretty straight-laced places?

      • Gyeo

        These are cities that spends millions on extravagant recreational places for the wealthy elites. They work to attract them. Especially Singapore. That’s pretty decadent.

        • BobSF_94117

          I doubt that’s the sort of decadent the Minister was talking about.

      • Miji

        One would think you could get a few more cents per pound for decadent beef.

  • Patrick

    I half expected to read that he expected a rush on human-bovine marriage.

    • KQCA

      An African Grey! I have one too!

      • Rich Farias

        Lovely plumage!

        Wait… that’s the Norwegian Blue…

        • Bad Tom

          Can we expect the evangelicals to start talking about ex-parrots?

          • Rich Farias

            Or at least to start pining for the fjords…

    • Snarkaholic

      Maggie actually found someone????

  • Paula

    Mental illness is not a pretty thing.

  • Steven Leahy

    Lol so Australia has dim witted xtianist psychotics just like the US!

    • David Walker

      Sad, isn’t it? I expect more from other countries.

  • David Walker

    I call bull shit!

    • Nexus1

      Actual bullshit would impact Asian companies buying Australian meat more than SSM. lol

  • Hue-Man

    Everybody knows the gay is contagious. He’s now proved that cattle can catch the gay, too, just like anthrax.

    The STOOPID is too much and it’s only July 6th (7th in Australia).

    • OrliJoe in Fla

      The stoopid is everywhere

  • barrykyle415

    Then by all means: Let’s all go without our basic human rights so that they can sell more cows.

  • kladinvt

    Great, something good for the cattle.

  • anne marie in philly

    WTeverlovinF is this fresh hell????? WHAT does one thing have to do with the other?????

    “Senator Abetz suggested that if Asian countries did not accept same-sex marriage then Australia should not either” – who gives a flying fuck what other countries do, asswipe; YOUR government should do the right thing! grow a pair and vote for LOVE!

  • TampaDink

    Because the cattle ranchers will all be too busy planning weddings?

  • John P.

    That’s a new one. So I guess U.S. exports will be threatened too… just when you thought you’ve heard everything.

  • Ninja0980

    Just a reminder that we aren’t alone when it comes to stupid bigots in position of power.

    • TampaDink

      We might not be alone…but I think that we have Australia beat in volume of stupid bigots in positions of power.

      • David L. Caster

        Per capita?

        • TampaDink

          Yes. And per lowah case too.

    • Homo Erectus

      Scary – ain’t it?

  • MDB

    Filed in the What tha’ bloody Hell department ?!?!?!?

  • Cosmo Tupper


  • Michael Rush

    attention asia : ALL australian cows are gay .
    ( it’s a rumor but it might spread )

  • BearEyes

    I’ve heard some strange excuses, but WTF?

    • Stev84

      At least it’s a new one. I was tired of hearing the same nonsense over and over.

  • Ninja0980

    The bigots in Australia know that with both Ireland and the U.S. making same sex marriage legal in the past month, it makes it all the more likely that pressure will be put on Australia to do the same.
    Thus, they will be throwing out all the bigoted crap they can in the hope something sticks.

  • Gustav2

    They will consider you and your beef after the rino horn sales cease.

  • metrored

    Wow that is a lot to think about. It would suck if Asian countries started buying their beef from the other major cattle exporters like Brazil the US, Argentina, Canada and Uruguay all because Australia legalized gay marriage.

  • Sam_Handwich
  • Stev84

    Dumb as a cow

  • bkmn

    Cow fucker said what?

  • Ginger Snap

    You should be more concerned with the growing number of vegans in the world not gay marriage. The stupidity of bigots never fails to amaze me. Save a life eat vegan.

    • Rocketeer500


      I read your comment as: Save a life eat ‘a’ vegan. My bad.

      • Reality.Bites

        That wouldn’t save a life, but it might make a Vegan very happy.

  • LovesIrony

    you’re not Asian, you’re an asshole.

  • Blake Jordan

    A load of bullshit, but a rather unique load of bullshit!
    I cannot recall an American (or other) asshole trying to use the export / import to “conservative” countries as a reason to prohibit (national) marriage equality.

  • Lane

    Damn — and I kinda respected him for his hardline stance against Johnny Depp’s illegal dogs. Bummer, dude.

  • shellback

    3 + turnip = bicycle

  • Bill

    OMG, at least there are other crazies in other countries.

    Their LAMB and Cattle are some of the BEST Tasting meats (if cooked properly ) in the world.

    This guy is NUTS………..

    The ” Pitcairn Islands” island are looking for residents, ancestors from the
    Mutiny on the Bounty……..he can go there……but rather tough landing as I understand it due to the waves. His ” Higher Power” will calm the seas so his boat came ‘let him land safely”.

  • me

    New Zealand trade with China has increased by 3 billion since gay marriage was introduced in NZ

    • Nexus1

      Exactly. Asian countries don’t care about Western standards of morality as much as they care about our standards of hygiene and animal care when it comes to meat. They will be joining us in Marriage Equality sometime this century anyway. I don’t think we’ll even get to the second half of this century before it’s legal in Korea and Japan and Vietnam. China might take until the second half of the century though.

  • KnownDonorDad

    Australia (and Northern Ireland) saved the United States from finishing dead least among the so-called Anglosphere nations in adopting marriage equality. Now it’s time to get sorted out.

  • Matt in PDX

    That’s a new one. For the record, the top beef-exporting countries in the world (in descending order) are: Brazil, India, Australia, the US, New Zealand, Uruguay, and Canada. All have same-sex marriage except India and Australia.

    • olandp

      India exports beef? I can’t imagine, next thing you will tell me that Israel exports pork.

  • Octavio

    It appears Australia has much in common with Texas mentality.

    • Not the country as a whole, but there are a lot of rednecks in Queensland, one of whose Senators Barnaby Joyce was for several years. At the last election the National (formerly Country) Party rewarded him for for his services selecting him for the safe seat of New England in NSW. (Thus making him the only pollie ever to have represented one State in the Senate and a different one in the House of Representatives.)

      If you think Mr Abbott is right-wing, Joyce and his party are even further right than he is. Like John McCain in the US, he prides himself on being described as a maverick.

  • JT

    Aussie Aggie Min: It will turn our cattle gay!

    • Homo Erectus

      The old “slippery slope”………….

  • canoebum

    First Pistol and Boo, and now this?!!! this guy’s a real piece of work.

  • Queequeg

    Seems like a win for the cattle.

  • 2patricius2

    As a teacher remarked years ago: There are more horses’ asses than there are horses.

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Barnaby is displaying classic early symptoms of bovine spongiform encephalopathy, likely caught from eating Australian beef. He needs to be retired to pasture.

    • Stev84

      There is a tag for that on JMG

  • Freeman

    These are presumably conservative talking heads espousing that their own country be dictated to in social matters by a foreign government? Where does one even begin to delve into that?

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    I have to wonder just how stoned he was when this beauty of an excuse was made up. Man up MF, and just come out and say you find gay folks icky. You’ll still be an asshole, but maybe some people won’t think you’re a moron in addition to being an asshole.

  • Nexus1

    This argument is so stupid. Asia cares about cleanliness and taste when it comes to their beef, they don’t give a shit if the gays in Australia can get married. Korea and Japan both trust Australian beef over American beef not because of SSM but because of their relative lack of hormones and history of untainted meat. Food is serious business in Asian countries and if your product meets their standards of quality then they will buy your product, they couldn’t give a tickers damn about your social policies.

  • Nexus1

    Another thing. For most Asian countries freshness is as important as anything when it comes to meat and produce and the idea that they would give up beef from their closest importer over this issue is asinine. They will not sacrifice quality for an issue that doesn’t affect them or the quality of the product. There aren’t any retailers or wholesalers in Asia that are willing to sacrifice their livelihoods for moral stands on SSM. They just shrug most of this off as ‘well that’s the West for you’ and leave it at that. The issue of Same Sex Marriage is only in its infancy in Asia and will not be a major social issue in most Asian countries for another several years if not decades, so they don’t really care much what the West does about such things. They also don’t have anywhere near as many moral crusaders as we do here. This guy must have inhaled a little too much fertilizer on one of his visits to the farms.

  • Schlukitz

    And uses bull shit to support his insane postulation.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    Might I suggest that these supposed Australian men “Harden up” and tell the Asian nations, ‘if you don’t our beef, find your own’…..oh right, the only other large beef exporters are Canada and the U.S. and, whadaya know, they already have marriage equality. If the Asians don’t like it, let them starve.

    What a load of bovine feces… keeping with the subject at hand.

  • Jan Wesselius

    I guess the old saying “Can’t cure stupid” is true.

  • Reality.Bites

    I assume he was made agriculture minister so the cattle would have someone to look down on?

  • Rich Farias

    Is *every* member of the Australian government a complete fucking yobbo?

    Also, this is the same dipshit who threatened to euthanize Johnny Depp’s dogs.

  • Balderdashing

    Is that because, if all the gay men marry and go monogamous, the closeted bisexual ranchers will be driven to shtupping their cattle instead?

    • Six Pins Delores

      “oh that’s tacky that really tacky “

  • Reality.Bites

    BTW, the ABC is the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, the crown-owned broadcaster, equivalent to the BBC in Britain, the CBC in Canada and the SABC in South Africa. It is in no way an affiliate of the American Broadcasting Company.

    • You are correct. The ABC (the definite article is part of its name) is indeed the state-owned and taxpayer-funded national broadcaster, colloquially known as “Auntie”.

      Set up on the model of the BBC as the Australian Broadcasting Commission in 1932, it was restructured in 1983 as the Australian Broadcasting Corporation — and its editorial independence guaranteed — by the Australian Broadcasting Corporation Act of 1983.

      (Not that its independence has ever stopped politicians accusing it of bias, either of the left-wing or right-wing variety according to whether said pollies are in Government or Opposition at the time.
      On edit: For a splendid current example, see here: )

      It is not and never has been an affiliate of American Broadcasting Company, a privately-owned commercial television broadcast network founded in 1942 and now a subsidiary of the Walt Disney Company.

  • Randolph Finder

    I haven’t been able to find beef export numbers, but In order, the largest Beef/Veal producing “nations” are 1) US 2) Brazil 3) EU-27 4) China 5) India 6)Argentina 7) Australia 8) Mexico 9) Pakistan 10) Russia.

  • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

    If he means it might reduce the export of bullshit, he might be onto something.

    • Kissmagrits

      My, oh my. Just look at it steam.

    • Snarkaholic

      Brian Brown, put your shirt back ON!

  • jessi

    oh! for christ sake.

  • They aren’t trying to fuck the cows, they just want to be married, dumbass. And so what if a few less cows are created in the world because the demand is down. Beef farmers have long held too much power.

  • Stubenville

    So the message is cattle are more important than human rights?

    Hey yobbo – cows don’t vote.

  • fkevin

    Yes, of course. Just like Mad Cow disease, Asian concern over Gay Cow will create panic & fear which will lead to Australian Beef being bared,, I mean barred.

  • olandp

    Australia is a part of south east Asia? I was always taught that Australia was a continent. I guess that was wrong and it is part of Asia. Who knew? (Besides the conservatives.)

    • Bradford Kelly

      He had to say that. We are technically party of Oceania but that includes New Zealand and they have SSM. Asia is our biggest trading area specifically China

  • teedofftaxpayer

    Always looking for reasons no matter how stupid. Must be taking lessons from some of the bigots here.

  • Galvestonian

    WHAT ? oh, yeah…because all the cowboys will be off getting married and having a honeymoon.

  • Bradford Kelly

    As the great Dan Savage said recently when here in Sydney;

    “Australia is having its George W Bush Moment”

    These knuckle heads are running out of reasons to not allow gay marriage. This is perhaps the most creative so far. The big problem is that its becoming a political football and the voters are getting tired of it. 70% of Aussies support SSM so the electorate is going to get pissed off and respond accordingly when it finally wakes up. This awful right wing government is in a constant state of war against minorities as a way to instil fear and control into the electorate. So far these groups are;

    Illegal immigrants (Asylum seekers as we call them)
    Social security recipients
    Self funded retirees
    Chinese Investors
    The ABC (Government broadcaster)

    The next election is 12 months away. Thank god!

    • Bad Tom

      Self-funded retirees are an issue?
      Which would include every person with what we call a 401k plan.

    • You forgot first-home buyers and renters. According to the Treasurer, if they can’t afford a place to live it’s their fault for not getting up off their bums and getting a well-paying job. That real-estate prices are currently spiralling so high — especially in Sydney and Melbourne — that even the Governor of the Reserve Bank is talking of a housing bubble has nothing to do with it.

  • TomBonMots

    Just FYI ABC stands for Australian Broadcasting Corporation – Australia’s version of the BBC. No affiliation or association with the American ABC.

  • Homo Erectus

    Let them eat cake.

  • Penny Wong, the Leader of the Opposition in the Senate, had some choice words about Mr Joyce yesterday, calling his remarks “one of the more inventive excuses I have heard from those who are opposing marriage equality in Australia. These are people in search of an argument because they know that the heart of their argument is no longer accepted by most of the Australian community.” (“Eric” in the headline is Senator Eric Abetz, one of Joyce’s BFFs.)

    If you want to hear them from her own lips — and she’s worth listening to — go here and press the “listen-again” button.

  • sword

    Joyce is also worried that all male koalas will want to marry each other, wiping out another part of Ozzie tourism.

  • TheManicMechanic

    Well, we are still trying to export Maggie and her corpulent gang for a while now…

  • Gary Hull

    It’s times like this when I am ashamed to be an Australian. Our current Federal government is starting to make some Republicans look downright reasonable.

  • Something that Mr Joyce is conveniently eliding over is that gay sex has been legal in Oz since the last century**, so if our Asian customers wanted to use our “decadence” as an excuse for boycotting Australian beef they have had plenty of opportunity to do so. But they haven’t taken it, not even the most homophobic countries among them like Malaysia and Singapore.

    In any case, our major customers for beef are (in descending order) Japan, the USA, and South Korea, none of which are notably homophobic and which together account for 76% of our export sales.

    ** Reform was piecemeal, State by State:
    the ACT, October 1973
    South Australia, August 1975
    Victoria, March 1981
    the Northern Territory, October 1993
    New South Wales, June 1984
    Western Australia, March 1990
    Queensland, November 1990
    the Commonwealth, December 1994
    Tasmania, May 1997

  • Aussie Dave

    Damn, I forgot Barnaby Joyce even existed. Talk about irrelevant.