Joseph Farah: God Will Punish Us

“America’s elite leadership have taken the side of the enemies of God, and He will take notice. It could come in the form of an economic crash. It could come in more civil and racial strife along the lines of what has been building in recent years. It could come in the form of an attack on our country from foreign power or terrorist group. I suspect it will something big. I take no comfort in passing along this warning. It’s just the pattern that God uses to bring His people to repentance for their own good. Read the Bible. It’s unmistakable. And while you’re reading the Bible, be sure to see what it says about marriage.” – Joseph Farah, founder of World Net Daily.

  • DumbHairyApe

    Mean Mr. Moustache….

    • Bad Tom

      mean mr. moustace sleeps in the park
      shaves in the dark* trying to save paper
      sleeps in a hole in the road*
      saving up to buy some clothes
      keeps a ten-bob note up his nose*
      such a mean old man
      such a mean old man

      his sister Pam works in a shop
      she never stops, she’s a go-getter
      takes him out to look at the queens**
      only place that he’s ever been*
      always shouts out something obscene*
      such a dirty old man
      such a dirty old man

      ——-
      * obviously
      ** at pride

      • DumbHairyApe

        (We all know it’s actually Mean Mr. Mustard…)

        • Bad Tom

          * obviously

  • Secure

    Yeah! If same-sex marriage had not passed, God would have guaranteed our country no more terrorist attacks! What a douche.

  • oikos

    US? Do you have a mouse in your pocket? He’s already punishing you haters. How do you think we got to this Scotus decision, Joseph?
    ps Gawd hates pornstaches on bigots.

    • David F.

      He means him and all the voices is his head.

    • medaka

      That’s why he gives them gin blossoms!

    • pj

      shoe polish enhanced….

    • Drew2U

      …Still waiting for that caterpillar under his nose to grow into a beautiful butterfly.

  • crewman

    “And while you’re reading the Bible, be sure to see what it says about marriage.”

    You mean like:
    Luke 16:18 – Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from [her] husband committeth adultery.

    Or this:
    Leviticus 20:10 – And the man that committeth adultery with [another] man’s wife, [even he] that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death.

    Or this:
    Deuteronomy 22:28-29 – If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be allowed to divorce her.

    The Bible is also filled with polygamy. I assume you are trying to tell me you support that?

    I do have a question though. As to the many, many verses about concubines, should I focus on those too as I read what the Bible says about marriage?

    After reviewing the Bible, I can see why you think these laws about marriage, worked out over time by goat herders of the Bronze Age, are the pentacle of achievement mankind can hope to achieve on the topic of marriage.

    • Bill

      Like my husband with his “selective hearing”.
      But my sweetheart is a “Keeper”.
      Farah is just another idiot grifter, that I enjoy reading his blogs ( in short time spaces) and best of all the comment section. Better to know and try to understand the enemy.

    • HAAAAAAA

      Gay unions are ‘God’s will’, Brazilian archbishop says:

      • 2karmanot

        oh my

      • DumbHairyApe

        umm…can I say “woof”?

      • William

        I wondered what happened to my oven mitt.

    • Jodie

      Christians love to be selective when following biblical law…

  • DaddyRay

    Sad little people living their lives in constant fear of an imaginary sky daddy

    • PLAINTOM

      lol

    • bambinoitaliano

      And yet they continue to behave like assholes towards people who are not them. Me think father is an abusive asshole who put fear into their children and turn them into school yard bullies.

      • DaddyRay

        It started very early

    • Richard Rush

      It’s that constant fear that keeps people kissing the ass of their sky daddy in a desperate attempt to avoid his wrath. And that myth is a huckster’s best friend.

    • Re: Just For Men vs King James

      • MattPS

        If only he had threated to shave off that died pornstache monstrousity if SCOTUS ruled for equal marriage. But no, we’re still stuck with it. And him.

        • David Walker

          No burning preachers yet, either. I’m surprised they didn’t follow through.

      • teeveedub

        I think God is going to punish him for repurposing Saddam Hussein’s ‘stache.

    • Joseph Miceli

      I like to refer to him as “the evil sky fairy.” Makes Evangelicals gasp. Hee hee!

      • madknits

        “If God is good, he is not god. If God is god, he is not good.”

        First heard that in divinity school.

        • Ted.OR

          “And good divinity is fit for a god.”

          My grandmother made the best divinity at Christmastime. I could not walk by that plate without swiping a piece. I had to cut back so people couldn’t accuse me of eating it all.

          • RoFaWh

            The trick is to take one piece off the plate as soon as it appears, then store it out of sight in airtight wrapping. When you’ve finished scarfing down all the rest, bring that pieceout, let it sit in solitary glory on the plate, then cry out “Who ate all the divinity?”

            This is called “deflecting the blame”.

          • Ted.OR

            A similar strategy is useful for a lad growing up. When his mom finds a curious little puddle in the bathroom. And it just so happens that the lad has a dog named “Sparky”.

            At least, so I’ve heard….

          • Ginger Snap

            My favorite candy and I can eat it till my teeth ache.

        • Joseph Miceli

          I think that needs some ‘splainin’.

    • vorpal

      “Economic crashes! Earthquakes! Floods! Droughts! Blahblahblahblah! God’s retribution!”

      Nope. Here, we call that unfortunate aspects of reality. Thankfully there’s plenty of good stuff, too.

      Only nutjobs need to invent imaginary beings to justify reality.

      • MDB

        C’mon Vorpie, fire-up all those bad boys up on the mountain down there and beam ole puss face sum katastrophe’s he’ll never forget.

        Use them powrful’ Golden Eyes of yours and bedazzle the fukk out of him !!!!

        Then lay back, lick yourself and have a wonderful, contented afternoon !!! 😉

        http://t2ps.com/thepossibilityplace/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/ID-10058981-cat.jpg

        • gewaite

          Mainline protestantism is so boring.

      • Librarykid

        In that case, were the economic crash in 2008 and 9/11 in 2001 judgements on Bush and the Republicans or just a consequence of evil, stupid people doing evil stupid things and allowing other evil stupid people to do evil stupid things?

  • Harlan92

    I wonder how the other fictional characters feel about this. I feel confident Batman is on our side, but I’m not sure about Spiderman.

    • Webslinger

      Robin is HURT

      • BaddogLtd
        • Wynter Marie Starr

          LOL. Poor Robin.

        • Wynter Marie Starr

          Let’s throw Robin a bone. I have a pornographic one, but I’m not quite sure if I’m allowed to post it.

          • 2karmanot

            That works!

        • bambinoitaliano

          I’m sure a lot of catholic priest fantasize about Robin. Super heroes do not diddle with young boys. 😛

          • Doug105

            Depends on the Robin a few were of age.

        • Ted.OR

          I should make a reference to the old joke about whenever Superman shoots a load, it blasts a hole in the wall….

          But I won’t.

      • Robin

        LOL! 😅

    • DaddyRay

      His Spidey senses are tingling

    • Treg Brown

      We should ask the one true god…

      • sw42

        Now there’s a deity I can get behind.

      • grada3784

        Except he was a Maia, not one of the Valar.

        • RoFaWh

          And the Valar themselves were not gods.

          Think of them as archangels, those into the one true god, Eru/Iluvatar, gave the stewardship of creation.

          The LotR is an interesting book in that religion is almost entirely absent from it. Yet Tolkien viewed his magnum opus as a profoundly Catholic book.

          [I’m weaseling with “almost” for fear there’s some detail I’ve overlooked.]

      • DaddyRay

        We did and RBG said it was ok

    • Wynter Marie Starr

      Well, this was posted yesterday.

    • bambinoitaliano

      Says the guy who shoot sticky things out of his wrists.

  • Webslinger

    The Bible and God has some HORRIFIC views on Marriage (see pic below):

    It is funny that many people like Mr. Moustache Rides do not see that gay marriage is “Hetero/Christian-normative” and should be applauded as it is what all deviant groups like Blacks, Hispanics (especially those pesky illegals) and now gays should be striving for in America…NOT sticking out but blending in, paying their taxes and keeping their personal lives behind closed doors…it is a WIN WIN for so many groups of conservatives…(sarcasm)

  • oikos

    “Read the Bible. It’s unmistakable.” Which version translated and edited from which language should we read?

  • Gerry Fisher

    Thus speaketh the almighty Porn Stache.

  • Stev84

    If there is a god he will punish him for that stupid porn stache

  • delk

    Breathing in all that hair dye sure did a number on his nose.

    • Steverino

      I guess Just for Men dye must be a good huff. Explains his muddled christianist thinking.

    • licuado de platano

      Imagine the booger trove in his stache. Also notice the chin blister from too much chaffing.

    • Larry Ft Pierce

      Didn’t he used to be handsome?

      • delk

        His bartenders probably think so.

      • Menergy

        Maybe you’re thinking of Ernie Kovacs? 🙂

    • Paula

      The only sin here, is that mustache.

  • Happy_Housewife

    He doesn’t look well. His evilness must be leaching out.

    • Treg Brown

      Boils from his god?
      That a nasty looking complexion.

    • Silver Badger

      Booze kills. Especially the cheap stuff.

      • agcons

        I’d say there’s a lot more than alcohol abuse going on with him. Meth-face? The beginning, or the end, of an MRSA infection?

  • carrot festival

    Snorting coal dust is hell on your complexion.

  • oikos

    How many blowjobs per hour do you have to perform to make that $89?

    • BearEyes

      suckie, suckie – 5 dollah

      • 2karmanot

        Two time Mr?

    • Drew2U

      Emilywest love you long time!

    • Joseph Miceli

      None! All you need is some fiber, a glass table and a willing, introverted Japanese businessman.

      • Paula

        .???

        • Joseph Miceli

          You really DON’T want to know.

        • BudClark

          It’s a “If You’ve Been Stationed In The Philippines” joke.

      • Joseph Miceli

        Oh…I saw Joseph Farah buying a glass table in Ikea last night. Coincidence?

      • JB

        AKA a ‘Perry Mason’ … named for a certain rumored predilection of Raymond Burr

        • Joseph Miceli

          The more you know….

        • David Walker

          Actually, he confirmed said rumors while he was still an active actor.

        • BigGuy

          He lived with his lover for over 35 years. They ran a vineyard. He never discussed his homosexuality, but he never denied it.

          You have to search for a long time to find anything negative posted by anybody about Raymond Burr

          Most of what he did for over 20 years was memorize over 100 pages of the script for the next taping. He never complained about how much work he was given to do in the series so they just gave him more and more, working him very, very hard. Ironsides was created as an accommodation to him so he didn’t have to be on his feet all day.

          http://www.raymondburrvineyards.com/aboutus.html

    • William

      At least 178.

  • Frederick

    So God can’t just say what he means…

    He needs to be an unnecessarily cryptic asshole?

    • Joseph Miceli

      I’ve never liked him. Such a scold!

  • sherman

    Don’t mistake a punishment from God being because of gay equality with a punishment for flying a flag of slavery and embracing the racism it represents.

  • Blake Jordan

    “No matter how much of a worthless fuck up you are, as long as you are straight and persecute those who are not, everything is dandy..”

    A version of the above seems to be all christianists pick up these days, it excuses them of all their defaults and harmful actions, but they can still feel like they are putting “effort” in to go to heaven…

    • Joseph Miceli

      Jesus: “My child, welcome to the gates of Heaven. In life, did you visit the sick, feed the hungry, clothe the naked and give your money to the poor?”
      “Christian”: “No Sir! That’s communism!!! But I made sure those dirty queers couldn’t get married for as long as I could!”
      Jesus: “Away with you to the lake of fire!” (wipes hands on robe) “Sonofabitch, I hate those assholes!”

  • delk

    Of course there will be an attack, domestic terrorists are unstable white christians. And your ilk will be responsible for their actions.

  • David in Palm Springs

    So basically anything bad that happens in our country for the next decade is because of same-sex marriage? How utterly convenient for you. I’m sure bigots just like you used the same inane rhetoric when interracial couples were allowed to marry.
    As for what your Bible says about marriage, who cares? You don’t have to be religious in order to get married in our country. It’s a pity ignorant homophobes like you are too stupid to realize that.

    • Librarykid

      Except for the things brought on by the Obamas, the Clintons, the unions, the Liberals and the Jews.

  • shellback

    Your listed punishments are Tinker Toys. A real gawd would use an asteroid or something else dramatic. You know what a drama queen she is.

    ps – Whatever happened to your nose?

    • Silver Badger

      Booze happened to his nose. You can see where he hit his chin the last time he passed out.

    • Rolf

      What happened to his nose? He’s been sticking it where it doesn’t belong.

    • stuckinthewoods

      He looks like his nose has rosacea. Alcohol is not a cause but is one of the common triggers. Maybe he’ll show hair dye to be another.

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    In other news, Joseph Farah worries that Santa Claus is now going to leave coal in stockings rather than goodies.

    • cleos_mom

      Nowadays, that would be considered the work of a lobbyist.

  • bkmn

    As punishment God is going to take away all cheap hair dye. Take that Farah!

    • Paula

      Oh, that’s not cheap hair dye. It’s a special substance recovered from the bulbourethral glands of altar boys that he has Duggared.

  • GayOldLady

    Wow…..He’s covering all the bases with “God will punish us” threat. Every disaster imaginable is lumped into that warning just so that when something does happen, and it will because shit always happens, he can blame TEH GAY!

    • DaddyRay

      I burned my toast this morning – Damn TEH GAYZ

      • GayOldLady

        Exactly!

      • bambinoitaliano

        Cheesus! Did you see the angry image of god on your toast?

        • DaddyRay

          No but there were some puffs of white smoke so I think I elected a new Pope

          • Robincho

            Habemus Toastam…

      • Joseph Miceli

        Thanks, Obama!

        • DaddyRay

          Well the toast did end up black

          • Joseph Miceli

            Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha!!!!!!!

          • tasteless chap

            That toast is only half black!

          • sw42

            You guys are great. Thanks for the laughs!

      • Hue-Man

        Toast-ghazi.

      • PeterC

        Relax; you did not burn your toast; “god” did it.

        • 2karmanot

          Just say’un Hmmmmm

          • Treg Brown

          • 2karmanot

            Munch!

      • 2karmanot

        Toastghazi!!!!

      • Ted.OR

        All I have to say, DaddyRay, is, did you have sex last night?

        WAIT – Don’t answer that!

        ON SECOND THOUGHT – Answer it. And post pictures.

        THEN AGAIN – Don’t answer. We can just draw our own conclusions. God smites in mysterious ways.

        • DaddyRay

          I would never kiss and tell – oh who am I kidding if I got luck I would be shouting it from the rooftop

    • bambinoitaliano

      You know it’s all about the base, bout the base.
      https://youtu.be/7PCkvCPvDXk

    • Joseph Miceli

      It is a tactic that works. They do it all the time and they’ve BEEN doing it since day one. “Ooooh, I broke a nail! God is punishing me for sin.” “Oooh, there’s a hurricane, it is God punishing us for abortion.”
      Idiots.

      • Gest2016

        It works because religion is a mind virus that has carefully adapted to exploit the design and weakness of the human psyche. We have a need for meaning — religion tells us a story. We feel shitty for being assholes — religion says, no worries, this guy killed himself to get you off the hook … And on and on and on. People like Joseph Farah are like bacteria growing in a petri dish. I do not hold out much hope for humanity, we are stupid, fear based, superstitious, reactive animals and Joseph Farah is a prime example.

        • Joseph Miceli

          Ah! It is a beautiful Sunday and I can’t let you go through the day like that. If you have the time, to to the New Horizons website. You’ll see the BEST in humanity on display!

          http://pluto.jhuapl.edu/

    • Joe in PA

      exactly! But he forgot hurricanes-tornadoes-floods-droughts, all things weather related! Sheesh, he is slipping…we are MUCH more powerful than that! 🙂

      Oh, and I love his words: It’s unmistakable.

      That dye on his mustache must have leached in to his brain. 😉

    • RaygunsGoZap

      My favorite? That the civil and racial unrest which he acknowledges has been building for years? Yeah, that’s gonna continue along its trajectory as if there were no God. And that is totally God’s punishment – His seeming non-existence as things that are already happening continue to do so. Tremble mortals! But, first, send money!

    • MDB

      I am so hoping that God WILL punish the teatard fundabangelicalists, for all the vile evil and hatred they have espoused and violence and death they are responsible for on this planet. But, I’ll leave that up to Him, since he has today off. 🙂

      • gewaite

        And the Fundies are hoping for exactly the same for you; ever notice how “Progressive” religious people are basically mirror images of the fundiegalicals?
        Religion is an irony-free zone.

        • MDB

          Trolling for dollars ?? Or just feeling like throwing out insults today ?

          • gewaite

            Celebrate your diversity-what are you up to now, maybe 5.5% non-White?

          • gewaite

            Celebrate your diversity!

          • gewaite

            Why the rhetorical questions?

          • gewaite

            Celebrate your diversity!

    • Hal Watts

      Have you noticed that Republican Jesus only punishes consensual adult sex. Republican Jesus is just fine with defrauding the poor, pillaging the environment, and hypocritical preachers.

  • bambinoitaliano

    I thought the whole believe system of theirs is living through the punishment of god? The believers being the sinners to atone their own sins. While I do agree this crackpot instead of atoning his own sin, is accumulating more by spouting lies or inability to understand the teaching of his god. Then only god to be blame for he created stupid people who never understand his teaching.

  • Wesinoregon

    NO Joseph only YOU will be punished. As you demonstrate.

  • TreGibbs

    Scared, little coward. Frightened and superstitious. He would have really made a name for himself during the Salem Witch Trial era.

    • Wynter Marie Starr

      I’m firmly convinced that the witch hunters got off on the torture.

      • Wesinoregon

        When you hide behind a “god” anything can happen.

    • Wesinoregon

      He certainly sounds like he’s out of the 1600’s.

  • Rolf

    In an age where I thought we had finally understood that thunderstorms aren’t due to god having a hissy fit, but rather a buildup of static electricity in the clouds, here we have another 21st century human whose world view resides firmly in the stone age, in spite of having a smart phone.
    Basically, if anything really bad happens, anything, it’s because god is pissed at us because of gay marriage. And he gets to say ‘see, god is mad and did this to us because of the gays being allowed to get married’.
    That’s a pretty unassailable argument, apart from the fact that god doesn’t exist, and bad shit happens all the time for no reason whatsoever.

    • PeterC

      He may have a”smart phone”; but he has not figured out how to use it. Just like his ‘god”.

      • Bad Tom

        His phone is smarter than its owner.

      • RoFaWh

        Not a fartz moan?

        /groan

  • Paul Forsyth

    So in other words nothing will change.

  • David F.

    If there was a god, he’d punish you for that shitty mustache.

    • Wesinoregon

      I remember an old horror movie from the 70’s where the devil looked like him.

    • Joseph Miceli

      Truly, bad pornstaches dyed in vanity colors are an affront to the Lord!

    • John T

      His Mustache Dyed For Our Sins

  • kipper

    He does know Canada is there, doesn’t he ?

    • agcons

      We never were Truly Christian™, you see, so it doesn’t matter that we’ve not been smote full sore.

  • PLAINTOM

    GOD hated George W Bush !!! Works for me 🙂

  • Tor

    I agree. Read the Bible, especially the Book of Genesis, where God comes off as a major fuckup, not someone worthy of worship.

    • cleos_mom

      Or the book of Job, where the deity behaves oddly like one of the gods of Olympus, allowing a man’s life and family to be destroyed on the basis of an ego-inspired wager. And when the man understandably asks WTF??? said deity struts around bragging about how awesome he is. And the weirdest thing is that believers wax orgasmic over that particular story.

      • skeptical_inquirer

        I’ll never get over that people consider that a story of God’s love when said God lets Satan kill all the guy’s children. Giving him more new kids doesn’t replace the ones who died!

  • Silver Badger

    Odd that the vast majority of natural disasters happen in the bible belt.

    • RoFaWh

      Look! The fundies and their ilk are pretty stupid. You’d have to be to choose to live in Tornado Alley, the steamy heat of the Derp South, or the semi-desert of Tejas.

      I won’t mention of the folly of “dry land farming”, which explains the existence of tiny towns in the inhospitably dry parts of the Dakotas, Nebraska, etc.

  • David F.

    And all those punishments from “god” – either he’s pissed at assholes like yourself or he’s got really lousy aim. Funny that all those tornados happen mostly in the BuyBull belt. And as for the terrorists, you can thank your nut jobs friends for provoking them with those drawing contests and bus advertisements. So little happens in Canada where assholes like you are silenced for their hate speech. Coincidence? I think not.

  • Richard

    Joseph, you need to create a different god, the one you have now sounds like a really violent asshole. Perhaps you can generate more revenue by marketing a god who just loves all the people, that has a warm and fuzzy ring to it. How about an all powerful god who pays off everybody’s mortgage and delivers Dunkin Donuts Coffee every morning.
    I know you truly miss the days of throwing the virgins in the volcanoes but seriously if you expect to keep making money selling the god thing you just have to come up with a better god.

  • NeverEclipsed81

    Who dyes their mustache and not their hair? Gross. He probably poisons himself doing that.

  • He’s looks very diseased — actually horrid. Look at his face- there are bacteria pussiles all over it. . I wonder if he picked up VD from having sex with a sheep? BTW I told this story before but I actually worked for him for three hours two years ago. I am serious. I was hired to sell internet ads for a “large web publisher” in West Palm Beach Florida (in case you want to look it up his agency is the James Whelan Agency who sells ads for crackpot web sites including Rense and makes much money from this) and the web publisher was him!. Needless to say we parted ways. lol.

  • Sam_Handwich

    I haven’t bothered to check Fox this morning. Is a meltdown in progress?

    • Octavio

      When is it never in a state of constant meltdown?

  • SockMikey

    I wish I had all the money he spends on mustache coloring…

    🙂

    • another_steve

      Lol. You noticed that.

      I cannot love him until the color of his mustache matches the color of his hair.

    • It’s not a mustache, it’s a furry butthole cover.

      • RoFaWh

        Does he dye the short and curlies around his asshole too? If so, what color?

        • That’s the silver. Covers every part of that asshole.

      • RobNYNY1957

        It hides the stretch marks.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      Wonder what color(s) he does his bush?

      • noni

        LindsayBelle shaves it for him.

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    It’s kind of both creepy and hilarious how these so-called “patriots” are wanting America to be punished and destroyed. Reading the comments by the FREEPERS it is crazy. They are saying the same things that the muslim extremists are saying and yet they don’t see any of the irony.

    “It’s just the pattern that God uses to bring His people to repentance for their own good.”

    There are 21 countries with marriage equality and yet they haven’t been punished.

    • Just goes to prove the doctrine of American exceptionalism. God’s Chosen People and all that.

  • Gustav2

    If you stub your toe, it’s because of marriage equality.

  • Larry Ft Pierce

    “It could come as (insert many things that ALWAYS happen) ” Certainly not with God actually appearing and talking to us for ONCE!

    • William

      God is the ultimate absentee landlord.

      • Ginger Snap

        He’s never around when I’m having trouble with my plumbing.

    • JoeBeau

      Praise heterosexual Aryan Jesus!

  • JJS_prime

    Why not just zap the judges that made the decision? Or would that be too obvious?

  • geoffalnutt

    Hedging bets much? Something’s going to happen to someone or something at some time. All because of marriage equality. The Lard does work in mysterious ways. Very mysterious, indeed.

  • canoebum

    No, “God” will punish you for that porn ‘stache. And I recommend you check into rehab for your alcoholism. You’re sporting a nose that would make W.C. Fields proud.

  • Gene

    WND….”world net daily”….the nets version of toilet paper….
    except that toilet paper is cleaner AFTER you use it than WND is even before.

    • Octavio

      Weapons of Nutjob Destruction. Endorsed by the NRA.

  • bambinoitaliano
  • Octoberfurst

    I find it fascinating how these right-wing Christians are always warning about “God’s wrath” and how he is gonna start punishing us “any day now” because we aren’t following the advice of bronze-age goat herders.
    But notice how he covers all the bases. God’s wrath could come in the form of economic collapse, terrorist attack, earthquake, whatever. So when anything bad happens—and it will, that’s just life—he and his ilk can blame the gays. Flooding in the Midwest? God’s punishment for gay marriage! Mass killing by deranged gunman? God’s punishment for gay marriage! The value of the US dollar goes down? God’s punishment for gay marriage! They can always find some tragedy to “prove” that God is punishing us. And the sheeple will nod their empty heads in agreement.

    • Octavio

      I opened my wallet to pay for groceries yesterday and discovered all my savings coupons had expired. It was god, once again, punishing me for being an evil perverted nasty homosexual.

      • Frommer_Gast

        You are too much stuck in your negative thinking! HE just wanted to remind you not to store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy or they expire before you can use them. Cheer up!

        • Octavio

          I love that! When my my virulently cranky survivalist brother finally died his children were a bit disappointed to discover their inheritance was a basement and storage sheds full of rotting and weevil-infested survival food. They did not appreciate that I could not refrain from laughing. 🙂

          • Frommer_Gast

            Sorry to hear this … did they forgive you meanwhile?

          • Octavio

            I have no idea. My nieces (his twin daughters) are devout Book-of-Mormon-thumping-no-gays-wanted-or-allowed cult members who couldn’t be bothered to show up to their own grandfather’s (my father’s) funeral because we didn’t have a mormon bishop conduct the services. It’s a given they will both have at least one gay child.

          • Frommer_Gast

            Are you sure they will? Where´s the fun in being a Mormon if the laws of genetics and statistics can be applied to you just as to the rest of mankind???

          • Octavio

            A very close friend of mine teaches architecture at the University of Ewetaw. One of my nephews-in-law studied under her for several years. She sees him regularly now that he works for a large design firm in SLC. She keeps me apprised of any news from that black hole of my past. Signs tend to indicate my niece has one soon-to-be famous screamingly fabulous 18 year-old. And the younger brother is very artistic. Also, my nephew-in-law is proving to be as uninspired and un innovative an architect just as he was an uninspired and un innovative architecture student. This amuses me, because he is a particularly smug mormon of German extraction who exudes eau de Entitlement when he walks into a room. You can imagine how thrilled he was to discover I was a major part of the family he was marrying into. And you can well imagine how thrilled I am to hear that his oldest son is most likely to be a fabulous raver. It seems to skip a generation in my family, as do twins. 🙂

          • Frommer_Gast

            Which is somehow unfair – if their god visits the iniquity of the fathers in the childrend and grandchildredn to the fourth generation anyway – why should only every second generation have the fun?

          • Octavio

            Typical capricious god.

  • cleos_mom

    They always “take no comfort” in hate and scapegoating. It’s part of the template.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      “I take no comfort” = “I’m jizzing my jeans”

  • noni

    He’s never quit drinking to excess.

  • Ryan Hunter

    Looks as if he already has the clown nose going for him.

  • For thousands of years all the bloodiest and most brutal wars have been based on religious hatred. Which of course, is fine with me; anytime ‘holy’ people are killing one another, I’m a happy guy……but please, don’t kill each other and give
    me that shit about ‘sanctity of life.’ – George Carlin.

  • Drew2U

    ….They’re beginning to sound more and more like the Taliban every day. And what a good thing for us.

  • Sporkfighter

    “America’s elite leadership have taken the side of the enemies of God …”

    BZZZZZZ Unsupported assertion.

    • JT

      Natural dementia or artificial?

  • noni
    • Octavio

      I knew it. There was something about him that is so familiar. I fucked him at the Rich Street Baths back in 1974. San Francisco was such an open and loving place in those days. We’d fuck anybody. Please exsqueeze me while I go scrub my genitals with Clorox. 🙂

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      That may have been the last time he ever smiled.

  • D. J.

    I think the goddess has spoken and she seems to be pissed at people like Farrah.

  • Bj Lincoln

    You be sure to think that every time it rains while we celebrate our love.

    • Paula

      Just tell them that the Gay and Lesbian Handbook says that every time there is a rainbow in the sky, there has got to be a lot of hot girl on girl/ guy on guy action.
      Every time they see a rainbow, they will think about Gay sex.

  • JT

    So much for World Net Daily being a news organ. Another organ is involved.

  • D. J.

    Really Farrah, do you really want to talk about terrorist groups? No discussion would be complete w/o speaking about domestic terrorism. I think the names of a lot of people you know and consider friends just might come up in those discussions……….
    On second thought, what a great idea!

  • Baltimatt

    Yeah, let’s read what the Bible says about marriage. Hmm, Jesus claimed that divorcing a spouse and marrying a new one constitutes adultery. Some, but not all, passages contain an unfaithfulness exception. Then Paul goes on to tell us a man may not leave his wife, and if a wife leaves her husband, she cannot marry again but should be reconciled to her husband.

    Of course, we ignore all that, but now God is going to be pissed because same-sex couples can get married in all 50 states?

    • While it is true that JC never spoke about marriage, only about divorce, the Gospel of John (2: 1-12) records that went to a wedding, for which he miraculously provided lots of wine.

      On the principle that actions speak louder than words, we may conclude that JC approved both of marriage and of alcoholic beverages.

      (But see also US Constitution, Amendment 18.)

  • Clive Johnson

    Today’s Bible lesson comes from Ezekiel:

    Ezekiel 23:20 : There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were the size of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

    • Tor

      It IS the infallible word of God…..

    • RoFaWh

      An older guy I used to know in Vancouver (a gardening type, not a sodomy type) had an enlarged prostate that was making it hard to urinate freely. A Chinese surgeon corrected the problem and afterwards said to him “Now you piss like race horse!”

      Don’t mind me; it’s free word association day in this household.

  • KnownDonorDad

    And while you’re reading the Bible, be sure to see what it says about marriage.

    Bring on my Canadian concubines!

  • Justin

    God will punish you for using shoe polish on that ‘stache.

  • D. J.

    Farrah is standing in front of a background covered with http://www.PUTIN.org. WTF?

    • William

      Hoping for a round of peasant and ruthless dictator?

    • jutta

      I think it’s http://www.PUTN.org. The site is “coming soon” and accourding to whois the domain was registered only two weeks ago
      Creation Date: 2015-06-12T02:47:32Z
      Updated Date: 2015-06-12T02:53:40Z

      • D. J.

        oh, that’s different (Emily Latella)

  • sw42

    An idle read of the history of religion shows us we create God in our own image, not the other way around. Clearly the old testament God is still believed in, but plenty of Christians support gay marriage, and were thrilled this week when the decision came down. I’m not a follower of anything religious generally, but if I was I’d be down with the more recent self-created God. Give me a God of love, and I can hang with you for a little while. But this guy’s God is in his head, and is just his own bad dream.

    • Gigi

      “You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.” — Anne Lamott

      • MDB

        If you hate in the name of God, it is not God whom you worship.

        • gewaite

          You ever think of that yourself? Probably not. You and the Fundies are basically twins.

          • MDB

            So sad that you are such an unhappy little troll. As was said in another thread, ” God do not like ugly!!”

          • gewaite

            That’s the best you can do? No wonder you’re reduced to obvious tokenism when you elect “leaders”; who else would even notice such a pathetic irrelevance?

          • gewaite

            Wow-he sure as sh*t created a lot of it for a guy who doesn’t (or should that be “don’t”?) like it!
            That and kids with birth defects and blindness and deafness and no arms/legs…….

          • gewaite

            So sad, the passive-aggression.

          • gewaite

            Hard to believe, he created so much of it.

  • KQCA

    Actually, it is their god who is to bow at the feet of all humankind and beg for our forgiveness.

  • Gigi

    God can’t stand the thought of gay couples getting married but he was totes okay with slavery and the annihilation of Native Americans. Got it. #STFU

    • Rod Steely

      God is a counter. 37 states were ok. But 50 was his tipping point.

  • Cosmo Tupper

    Little known fact. The final edit of the bible had the actual last book of the bible removed. After Revelations, there was a single verse book:
    Tupper 1:1 Psych!!!!!

  • JT

    Can we compile a list of links to live streaming of Pride festivities across the nation? Please post here if you have one. Thanks.

    And across the world as well!

    Here’s a link for SF Pride Parade.

    http://livestream.com/accounts/8715078/events/4154340/

    • Gigi

      It’s raining in Toronto but that won’t dampen our mood. HAPPY PRIDE!!

      • JT

        I didn’t mean to leave you out! Do you have a link?

      • bambinoitaliano

        I’m being Elphaba this year. Staying away from the rain 🙂

    • bambinoitaliano

      God has been so touch by SCOTUS ruling, he hasn’t stop crying all weekend. In the process dampen our pride celebration. He needs Cher to snap him out of it! The pic is overlooking part of Church street of Toronto.

      • JT

        Thanks! Sorry it’s so wet.

  • Elliott

    It could come in a box, it could come with a fox! It could happen here or there, it could happen anywhere!

    • KQCA

      ROFL!

  • Disqusdmnj

    So essentially, it could all happen normally, too, and not caused by a sky daddy.

  • goofy_joe

    This is one of the most vague decrees of doom I’ve ever heard.

    • Gigi

      It’s a catch-all decree. If anything bad happens he’ll say, “See. I told you so!”

      • Octavio

        God punished me this morning for being a perverted evil homosexual by causing me to stub my toe! These truly are the End Times! Whaaaaaaaaa!!!!

        • Gigi

          I had a hangover this morning so…angry gawd.

        • MDB

          Pobrecito ;-(
          (((((( hugs ))))))

          • Octavio

            Sí, mis dedos me duelen mucho hoy. ¡Bwaaaaaaaaaa! Quiero helado.

          • MDB

            Maybe this will help you feel better !! 😉

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ER4srD951bw

          • Octavio

            Thank you for causing me to go blind. 🙁

          • Ted.OR

            Is that what caused you to go blind? For me, it was something else. [wink wink nudge nudge]

          • Paula

            Quiero tequila!

          • Octavio

            ¡Yo, también!

          • Ted.OR

            Igual con mi espositito. Tengo que traer todas sus comidas a el. (And by “tengo que” I mean “I get to”) (And please excuse my bad Spanish and lack of proper accents.)

        • Frommer_Gast

          Was it the right toe or the left toe? Because – if it was the left toe it may have been the result of a curse of an evil spirit not recognizing you as one of his kind. Stubbing of the right toe bears of course HIS signature – repent!

          • Octavio

            The right toe. Aye, is me!

        • RoFaWh

          I dropped a toothbrush on the bathroom floor. Alas! Gawd hath smitten me!

          • Octavio

            Time to repent.

    • LonelyLiberal

      Or your dog could get fleas or the waitress could bring you the wrong side dish…

  • Daveed_WOW

    He seems to not have gotten the message. God sends hurricanes to Red States Florida and Texas all the time.

    But seriously folks, I love how he hedges his bets. Classic religious charlatanism. What he said is so vague, anything could apply.

  • Sam_Handwich

    here’s some gladz…

    Tyne Daly Shares Her Story of Marriage Equality On Stage (audio’s not great)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OJzYDW1PXc

  • You know, in reality, the Bible–if it were at all relevant to the subject of civil marriage–doesn’t really SAY all that much about marriage. There are weddings. There are admonishments against divorce and adultery. But when it comes to actual weddings, they keep hauling out that one passage (actually about divorce), “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female. . .”

    They cross their arms smugly, and say, “there it is.” And I”m so unimpressed by the passage. It’s hardly exclusionary, or definitive, or obvious that this is some kind of commandment.

  • ColdDesert

    These are all really starting to read like melodramatic comedy at this point. Someone should string them together as a sitcom or sketch comedy.

  • dk6

    Joe-great piece in Next Mag btw!

  • Gregory In Seattle

    What is it that makes America God’s Special Snowflake? Why should the Creator of the Universe give a rat’s tail over same sex marriage in the United States when She clearly does not mind it in Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Denmark, the UK, Finland, France, Iceland, Ireland, Luxembourg, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, Sweden or Uruguay?

    • houstonray

      Awesome observation. I always wondered that myself, why is it always God is going to punish the U.S. but never apparently any other country.

    • Steven Leahy

      Just more evidence of how insular, ignorant and downright stupid these people are. There IS a world outside of this place.

      • RoFaWh

        Perhaps all US citizens should receive a ticket for a slow round-the-world tour when they reach 21?

  • HZ81

    Will God punish us with an embarrassing dyed stache? Lord, I hope not.

    • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

      LOL Just For Men doesn’t men Just For The Mustache hahahahaha

  • Bruno

    Happy Pride in Our Enemies’ Heads Exploding Day, everyone!

  • DesertSun59

    The use of the word ‘elite’ is used exclusively by fundamentalist Christians. This man is deluded. We do not live in his Bronze Age fantasy.

    • RoFaWh

      It’s a way of dragging down his superiors.

  • 2karmanot

    “It’s just the pattern that God uses to bring His people to repentance for their own good.”” HMMMMM Could it be Satan?

  • LonelyLiberal

    I’m hoping Joe posts again today so we don’t have that W.C. Fields nose to stare at all day.

    • BaddogLtd

      If it helps, I’ll just repost this makeover I gave Ms. Farah Faucet a few weeks ago, darling. Va Va Va Voom ; )

  • BaddogLtd
  • William

    Texas shut down abortion clinics and was rewarded with massive flooding.

  • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

    No. Just no. That mustache. I can’t even.

  • houstonray

    Boy, he covered most of his bases didn’t he? It could come in the form of this, it could come in the form of that…though I see it looks like he left out weather? Wouldn’t that seem to be the more logical method God would use to punish. I mean, it seems much easier than God going to all the trouble of setting up a terror attack, trying to get all the right people together for that, getting the weapons together for them, or going into the accounting books of big corporations and affecting their profits to set up a crash. Wouldn’t a hurricane or tsunami just be quicker? I’m sure God has other things to do…

  • M Jackson

    Okay, whatever. I’ll be extra careful crossing the street. Asswipe.
    I’m on my way down to Astor Place to meet my wonderful boyfriend for the NYC Pride Parade! in a rush cause because I don’t want to miss Sir Ian and Sir Derek.
    It’s cloudy cool and drizzling on the train platform here in Astoria Queens, but I’m confident it will be warm and sunny when I come above ground by NYU — it’s a great day to be Gay!

    Peace Love and Pride to Joe wherever you are, to Tampa Dink and BJ and Anastasia Beaverhausen and Madame Deb and everyone else on JMG. Thanks for the laughs.

  • William

    So, if God is handling punishments, you just need to sit back and work on your “I told you so” speech.

  • leastyebejudged

    WND is just nauseating.

  • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

    God will punish haters with a plague of pornstaches…

    • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

      Wins. The. Internet.

      • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

        Thank you… and sorry. I had not included a recent pic of SyPhyllis Schlafly.

        • gewaite

          Phyllis and the Cryptkeeper-notice how you never see the two of them at the same time?

    • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

      This is as delicious as the “ISIS” dildo flag at London’s Gay Pride that CNN scooped yesterday. buwhahahaha

    • Frommer_Gast

      Wow!!! Adorning 40 pics of people you don´t like one by one with a moustache sounds like real work! Appreciate this! I would have lost my motivation in row 2.

      • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

        It was worth every moment. 👨

    • LonelyLiberal

      Sweet Jesus, no! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, take back the accursed pornstaches!

    • RoFaWh

      You funny mon!

    • What surprised me was how many of the women looked like red necks fellas! Bravo on all your hard work, and while I could see how much work went into it, betcha it was fun, yeah?

      • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

        It was fun…

        • Oh my golly gosh! Put the correct hat on her and she could pass for a river city gambler! Or a slick con man, oh yeah she is a slick con man….job well done mon’amie!

    • Stev84

      The former commander of the Iraqi occupation army is there? No wonder that went all wrong.

  • BobSF_94117

    I can see why Farah is upset and worried. If God gets really, really upset, I bet he sends an asteroid right into the Just-For-Men Moustache & Beard factory.

  • Mike in Texas
  • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

    In other asshat douchebag with questionable hair and grooming choices breaking news:

    CNN host Jake Tapper recently confronted Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump about how his three marriages were morally justified if he only believed in so-called “traditional marriage” values.

    http://crooksandliars.com/2015/06/tapper-stumps-trump-whats-traditional

    • Wynter Marie Starr

      So, he doesn’t say anything to them? He doesn’t want to govern all of us, just a few select people. I notice he doesn’t answer the question. He can’t use the bible as a justification given his two adulterous marriages, and he can’t just come out and say, “I just hate mother fucking gay people,” so he glides over it. Frankly, the lamp post in front of my house has a better chance of becoming president. Thanks for the link.

      • Homo Erectus

        The lamp post in front of your house is far more intelligent and good-looking.

        • Wynter Marie Starr

          And it’s more useful!

          • Octavio

            And it has better hair.

  • shawnthesheep

    “We must do what’s right or Skydaddy will not let us have any cake.” This is what passes for moral reasoning in the minds of these simpletons. They care more about offending their imaginary friend than they do about the pain they cause actual human beings.

  • shawnthesheep

    The 11th Commandment: “Thou shalt dye the hair below your nose but not above it.”

    • RoFaWh

      The spirit of Groucho Marx has asked me to forward this message to Farah: “Honey, just put a smear of black grease paint on your upper lip. Much simpler. And it worked for me.”

  • billbear1961

    IF there’s a “God” and that God is JUST, it’s BIGOTS who’ll face punishment, for your relentless LIES and INSANE hatred, HATER!

    And DON’T start cherry-picking from your Book of Curses, HYPOCRITE, because I’m SURE we could find a stonable offense–or two or three or four–in YOUR closet, AND the closets of MOST of your “god-fearing” pals!!

    • Homo Erectus

      The buy-bull has more to say about fucking your dead brother’s wife (it’s required) than it does about loving someone of the same gender as yourself.

      • billbear1961

        I thought you weren’t supposed to touch your dead brother’s wife! Wasn’t that Henry VIII’s beef?

        Well, it is not a major concern of mine, especially as I’m gay AND I don’t have a brother.

        🙂

        • Homo Erectus

          Deuteronomy 25:5-6

          25:5
          If brethren dwell together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her husband’s brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to wife, and perform the duty of an husband’s brother unto her.

          25:6
          And it shall be, that the firstborn which she beareth shall succeed in the name of his brother which is dead, that his name be not put out of Israel.

          • billbear1961

            Then, what was Henry on about?

            The bear will have to look into this, H.E.!

          • Homo Erectus

            God killed Onan because he wouldn’t impregnate his brother’s wife. Gen. 38:8-10. If god says “fuck somebody” you’d better comply.

  • John T

    If Christians actually prioritized their concerns based on what the Bible says they would be talking about divorce and poverty, not same-sex marriage. Why do Christians expect me to take their Bible seriously when they themselves demonstrate daily how little the care about the words it contains? They only want to use it when it’s useful as a political weapon. Fuck their Bible, it’s not worth the paper it’s printed on.

  • he has already edited out the “enemies of god” line.

    • MDB

      I just clicked on the above Joseph Farah (WND) link and it’s still there in the text, near the end of his diatribe.

  • MBear

    ‘god’ has already punished us – he gave us Joseph Farah

  • D. J.

    Will this punishment arrive before or after Farrah’s shrimp cocktail? Or is he having the Scampi?

  • Alan Ilagan

    God would sooner punish us for that idiot’s mustache.

  • Silver Badger

    His picture is that of an unreformed drunk. God has already started to punish old Joe.

    • D. J.

      Alcoholic nose.

      • RoFaWh

        The two sores I can see, one on the nose and one on the chin, make me wonder “Meth?”

  • RNGesus

    That pornstache tho

  • MDB

    He seems nice ! 🙂

  • SilasMarner

    Wah, wah, wah…Shut up already.

  • BaddogLtd

    Jezus sez

  • TheManicMechanic

    In the dictionary alongside the definition of “derp” is that picture.

  • kanehau

    WND is the cesspool of the mentally insane.

    • sunofpreacherman

      In other words a Christian Church.

  • Smithbc

    If there is a being who punished us for the way behave as a society, where was he when we committed genocide against the native Americans, enslaved Africans, practically owned woman as wives,…

    Oh, it’s just guys putting their no-nos in other guys bum-bums that enrages God enough to punish us. Wow, great guy these guys worship.

  • Schlukitz

    Some Christians seem to have an unquenchable thirst for being punished.

    • Homo Erectus

      Some christians really need to be punished.

    • Stev84

      Their zombie lord told them to expect being persecuted. So they have to invent the persecution themselves.

  • Shorter Joseph Farah: If something bad happens, no matter what it is, it’s because of Teh Gheys.

    What? No pestilence, no floods, no tornadoes, no drought? Oh, wait. . . .

    By the way — in 45 years in Chicago, it has never rained on our Parade.

    • sunofpreacherman

      Gays are all powerful. Even Christians agree!

  • bambinoitaliano

    David Furnish? Cyndi Lauper?

  • Nic Peterson

    Oh dear! In addition to being a useless fuckwit, Joey isn’t aging very well. So sad.

  • Mihangel apYrs

    strange how god’s punishments are always identical to natural disasters or mundane events. Now, a mega lightening strike, orders of magnitude greater than anything ever recorded, hitting the Supreme Court…..

    • sunofpreacherman

      The sky fairy is too weak for mega stuff.

      • Mihangel apYrs

        HA
        ha
        (quote from Munson)

    • Homo Erectus

      “If there is a god, may he strike this whole audience dead” – George Carlin.

  • rusty57

    Gin blossoms Joe?

  • sunofpreacherman

    Arguing with a Christian and their bible is pulling one into their insanity. I mean arguing with someone who believes in an imaginary sky fairy and a fairy tale book has to be an insane thing to do.

    • Kissmagrits

      I don’t argue with Christians thus keeping the dialog as short as possible. And when I’ve had enough, I tell them with genuine sympathy:
      “You look too intelligent to be doing this.” Then, I leave.

      PS: This line works well with the “Watchtower” people at the front door, too.

  • LADY MABELINE

    More like World Nut Daily.

  • RoverSerton

    I feel really bad for Oklahoma. Every time gays win anything, there are earthquakes and tornado’s. God punishes us similar to the bible teaching. Mankind screwed up so he punishes/kills his son. The US screws up, he punishes Oklahoma. He should have a more granular plan for punishment.

    • Ted.OR

      God is especially pissed at Oklahoma because their state song is from — gasp — a Broadway musical. It’s peppy, not slow and solemn. And it doesn’t have lyrics like “To thee, Oklahoma, Land forged from God’s almighty hand….”

  • DaveMiller135

    I’m seeing this with Franklin Graham today, too: the escape clause subjunctive. “God’s wrath COULD/MIGHT come in the form of X or Y.” Call me when you know something for sure.

  • Larry in Oklahoma

    It’s already happened in parts of Oklahoma and Texas with all the flooding and the rain. Oh, wait, generally speaking, they are not for gay marriage. I wonder what the sin was that they committed, huh?

    • Kissmagrits

      I was stationed in Oklahoma in ’58 just before the state was voted “wet” in ’59. And I was familiar with most of northern Texas. Wild, racist, football crazy states – all done with a drunken, but pious public face.

      Which leaves a more appropriate question: What sin did these southwest holy-rollers fail to commit?

  • Bill T.

    Sometimes it’s hard to tell if they worship Jesus or Chicken Little.

  • ultragreen

    In other words, Mr. Farah, you’re saying that we are supposed to be afraid and tremble before tyrants, whether they are real or imaginary. However, if we are worthy of democracy, then we should be living in the land of “the free and the brave.” And that does not include cowering in the shadows of such tyrants, you spiteful little man.

  • Mark

    I’ve always wondered the reasoning behind STFU. Now i know.

    …and would somebody tell him to separate the ‘stache from the nose hair! Trim at least ONE of them! Damn.

  • Galvestonian

    O.K. Right…yeah…why not ? A bunch of dead birds …” THE GAYS DID IT !” …A Tornado …”THE GAYS DID IT !” …An Earthquake anywhere …”THE GAYS DID IT !”… A hurricane …”THE GAYS DID IT !” … a big fire anywhere …”THE GAYS DID IT!” …Any divorces at all … THE GAYS DID IT! … A shootout of any kind … “THE GAYS DID IT!” An ingrown toenail …”THE GAYS DID IT!” Whatever the fuck …”THE GAYS DID IT!” SEE … I am a prophet … GOD SPEAKS TO ME every day at 4 P.M. send money – empty out that cookie jar or you’ll be punished by THE GAYS !

  • romanhans

    Dude, about that mustache: “And do not take an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black.” (Matthew 5:36)

  • Homo Erectus

    Joseph, honey – god has punished us severely. He has caused us to have to endure your crazy blathering for years.

  • Jim

    You stupid bigot, Farrah. God is punishing YOU by forcing you to live in a country where gays can get married. He wants to rub it in your ugly face. Why can’t you see that?

  • Mark

    Seriously dude. Stop drinking and get laser treatments. Then, get in to professional counselling.

  • Mark

    It’s been 48 hours. There have been no earthquakes. No tornados that I know of. No arks being built for some dude to put 2 of everything on – my car is still running and the computer works. Meh, not so much.

    • LonelyLiberal

      We did get an inch of rain yesterday, but it’s been in the forecast for quite some time.

      Other than that, I didn’t cut off my foot mowing. Locusts did not descend while I was outside.

      The raging hard-on I have is probably not related.

      • Homo Erectus

        Call me.

      • Mark

        I did blow my nose three times today, does that count??

        • LonelyLiberal

          If you’re a bottom, you must be full.

    • Stev84

      Any day now. Send money.

    • Marides48

      God must take the weekend off? Watch out for Monday! All HELL will break loos by then!

  • BigGuy

    Only John Bolton has a better looking moustache.

  • BudClark

    Damn! Is he slammin’ krokodil or what? His face is rotting off!

  • teedofftaxpayer

    I keep asking, why would “GOD” punish us NOW for something that’s pretty much has been happening for 10 years now. Also where does these creeps gets the idea that “GOD” only “protects” the U.S. Did I miss something in the Bible that “GOD” names the U.S. as the “Country” he only protects? Come on this crap gets ridiculous every day. I wish I could ask these questions to the jackasses.

    • Marides48

      They call it religion! Believing in nonsense.

  • Ginger Snap

    I love how he lists all kinds of things so if anything happens he can say look god. What a joke.

  • Emma Duncan

    hmmm…economic troubles, racial strife,natural disaster…well he’s got all his bases covered, so when something inevitably happens…you know the drill

  • OZ_in_TX

    ” I take no comfort in passing along this warning.” Bullshit. You were absolutely GIDDY in riling up your low-IQ neocon base further. Hate = more donations, and we all KNOW it.

  • looks like god already is punishing mr. farah by forcing him to wear that caterpillar on his lip. which plague is that from?

    • Marides48

      Yea, god will make the rain fall on him causing the dark shoe palish to run sown his chin. Of course he will blame that on the Gay too.

  • Carl

    Joseph, couldn’t God be a little more specific? You put out such a range of possibilities. In Judges 6: 36-40 God was very specific for Gideon with dew on the fleece and none on the ground around it and then for conformation Gideon asked the opposite that the fleece be dry and the ground be wet with dew. Couldn’t you ask God for something specific so that we know for certain that he is punishing America? Otherwise I will have to take anything you say as hearsay.

  • Robincho

    I’m afraid the only way to turn Farah’s faucet off is to shove it up his ass.
    Nothing else seems to be working…

  • TexPlant

    he can start with you

  • marshlc

    How do people not see that this is a scam? It’s so loosely worded that literally anything that happens can be interpreted as God’s punishment.

  • agcons

    Your post offerring $5 blow jobs above was deleted, I guess you thought you’d try again. Flagged (again).

    • Jodie

      I’m pretty sure someone either hacked her account or the account is a fake one to begin with…

  • Tessie Tura

    When is he gonna stop spray-painting that damn mustache?

    • Arkansan

      Yeah, who does he think he is, Tom Selleck? The older Tom gets the darker black his hair and stache get.

  • Diggy

    He must be right! Look at that! God has already begun to smite him with that hideous mustache and boils on his skin!

  • AT2016

    What the f*** is that under his nose?

  • Arkansan

    Last week in Michigan a tornado seriously damaged four, yes four churches in the small town of Portland. The churches seemed to have taken the brunt of the tornado, but only about thirty miles away the gay bars and the Gay and Lesbian Resource Center were completely unharmed. I take that as a sign that it wasn’t “the gays” that pissed God off, or she has lousy aim.