MEXICO: Catholic Church Exorcises Satan Out Of Entire Nation Because Gays

Because gays and abortion, actually. Via Breitbart:

In an extraordinary act of spiritual warfare, several bishops and exorcist priests have performed what is being called a “Magno Exorcismo” (great exorcism) of the entire country of Mexico following a series of events that the bishops see as linked to the presence and influence of Satan. On May 20, the former Archbishop of Guadalajara, Cardinal Juan Sandoval Iñiguez [PHOTO], the Archbishop of San Luis Potosi, Carlos Cabrero, as well as several exorcist priests from various Mexican dioceses held a closed-door exorcism ritual at the Metropolitan Cathedral of San Luis Potosí. Bishop Cabrero explained the hush-hush nature of the ceremony, saying that otherwise “it arouses morbid curiosity and misinterpretations” when what we are after is simply “doing good for everyone.” In a telephone interview, Father Fortea declined to give details about the ceremony, but said that “undoubtedly the abortion, Satanism, corruption, the cult of ‘holy’ death and the legalization of sexual aberrations have caused great satanic infestation throughout Mexico.” All of this, he said, has unleashed widespread violence precisely because of the action of the devil. The purpose of the exorcism was to “drive the demons out of Mexico,” he said.

RELATED: On June 3rd the Mexican Supreme Court ruled that states may no longer ban same-sex marriage, although couples in the majority of Mexican states must still, for now, hire a lawyer, pay around $1000,
and wait a month to obtain a judge’s order to marry. Same-sex marriages have
been recognized nationwide since Mexico City repealed its ban in 2010
and three states had already done away with their bans, but the latest ruling will surely expedite the removal of the remaining roadblocks. 

  • Bill_Perdue

    Cultists are the enemy. And so are the politicians who pander to them like Obama, the Bushes, Reagan and the Clinton.

    • vorpal
      • Gene

        you are a total bitch.
        never change
        be nice to comrade fishy fishy…(was it you or oikos who came up with that?)

        • vorpal

          I have my days where I’m just a mild-mannered little hellion on four feet instead of a full-fledged no-goodnik. 😀

          • Bill_Perdue

            Why does a right wing racist like you object to opposition to cults and Democrats and Republicans who pander to them?

            Why do you support cults and the Democrats and Republicans who pander to them?

            That’s just sick, but par for the course for you.

          • vorpal

            Bill, stop flirting with me. I’m not going to let you give me a blowjob.

          • Bill_Perdue

            Don’t kid yourself, you don’t have a dick.

          • vorpal

            Yawn. Is that a fetish of yours? Eunuchs? Make you feel better about your micropenis, Billy, my boy?

          • Bill_Perdue

            Don’t kid yourself, you don’t have a dick.

          • vorpal

            Whatever you say, pedophile trash.

          • Bill_Perdue

            That’s what all you homophobes say. You’re a bigoted pig.

            Practically the first words out of your mouth when other racists invited you to comment were to your little brother ‘guest’. After telling him how valuable he was you told him ” (Now, if we COULD chase Bill P. off, I would be delighted, but he seems impervious to how much people want him to go :D.) ”

            You can troll all you want. I’m not going anywhere because the opinions of racists and rightwingers like you are irrelevant – what is relevant are the politics of gay liberation and anti-racism and building unions.

          • vorpal

            I know you’re probably not really a pedophile, Bill: I just wanted to see if lying was as much fun as you made it out to be.

            Nope. Not really. But then again, I’m not an irredeemable piece of shit like you are, so I guess it makes sense that we’d have different hobbies.

          • Bill_Perdue

            Lying homophobic pig lies like it always does. Practically the first words out of your mouth when other racists invited you to comment were to your little brother ‘guest’. After telling him how valuable he was you told him ” (Now, if we COULD chase Bill P. off, I would be delighted, but he seems impervious to how much people want him to go :D.) ”

            You can troll all you want. I’m not going anywhere because the opinions of racists and rightwingers like you are irrelevant – what is relevant are the politics of gay liberation and anti-racism and building unions.

          • vorpal

            ..

      • Bill_Perdue

        No politics, just more piggery from a right wing racist. Nothing new here.

        • vorpal

          I didn’t realize that I was obligated to talk about politics to be here. Thanks for the setting me straight: I hear it’s quite a skill you have with gay men.

          • Bill_Perdue

            Practically the first words out of your mouth when other racists invited you to comment were to your little brother ‘guest’. After telling him how valuable he was you told him ” (Now, if we COULD chase Bill P. off, I would be delighted, but he seems impervious to how much people want him to go :D.) ”

            You can troll all you want. I’m not going anywhere because the opinions of racists and rightwingers like you are irrelevant – what is relevant are the politics of gay liberation and anti-racism and building unions.

  • Buck Starr

    What about the child molesting Catholic priests???

    • Gene

      just cause your cute does not mean you get to be redundant
      😉

  • OUTinMinnesota

    When we see priests abandoning Mexico, is that the sign that the exorcism is working?

    • It’s 5:00 in the afternoon. Do you know where your children are?

  • Gene

    oh, honey. 1) NIce TRANSVESTMENTS
    2) anyone here ever been to the Zona Rosa in Mexico City? it makes the castro or village look like maob Utah
    3) most Mexicans will laugh their asses off at this..
    4) Fiber…a face like that can only mean you need more FIBER in your diet, lots of water..and if all else fails..ex lax…all the higher prelates tend to be bottoms, so, I am sure he knows this.

    • ben-andy

      I know you mean Moab, Gene, but I would like to visit maob.

      It is probably pretty and all the menz are handsome.

      • Gene

        its stunning actually…and….sort of a Mormon “homeland”….pack your own alcohol. (and yes…the menz look like your in Norway or Denmark…just, with really really shitty worldview/politics).

  • vorpal

    Well, that’s it, former Mexican JMGers. Sorry to see you ex-gayify.
    Be sure to donate your sex toys to the less fortunate on your way out of the orgy.

    • MDB

      We should be nice, Vorpie, and still send them a few rainbows once in awhile. If we take all of their ‘gay-ity’ that would be rather tacky.

      • RoFaWh

        “gaiety”

      • vorpal

        Judging by those Ted Haggard lips on that dude in the article pic, I’m sure that rainbows are the least of his gaiety.

  • Rocketeer500

    How do you exorcise a whole country? I’ve known some really dumb catholics in my time, but WOW!

    • Sean

      Why stop there? They should have just exorcised the whole planet. No more demons forever, bada-bing, bada-boom!

      • Ed Burrow

        why stop there? I exorcised the whole freaking universe. X intinity.

        • JW Swift

          …plus one.

      • vorpal

        Come on… let’s keep this realistic: no need to be silly or dramatic.

      • BudClark

        I think only the Poop’s power-station is big enough to pull THAT off.

    • MythicalBeast

      Ya know what’s sort of salient? The current official Vatican exorcist claims that Satan dwells within the Vatican. (True story.)

      • Rocketeer500

        Of course he does. No secret. He lives in the cave under the alter.

  • my rainbow colored abortionist uterus squashes this bug with her Gayroller. all that is left is some glitter.

    • Gene

      +1000 for that one!
      🙂

    • dr tod

      Did you have an interior decorator?

    • motordog

      I would have thought only a foul-smelling smear of slime would be left of this shitbag…luckily you had the foresight to have the glitter-residue-injector installed on your ‘roller. Good job! XD

  • No issues with the corruption and major gang violence that has been out of control in Mexico for over a decade. The big evil is marriage equality. Do these people have any self awareness whatsoever? Rhetorical, I know…

    • Soren456

      It may be rhetorical, but it’s still a good question.

    • Doug105

      Proof of catholic self-awareness.

      • Clive Johnson

        There’s something fishy about it, but I can’t quite place my finger on it….

        • DUGGAR!!1!

        • Pollos Hermanos

          You’re so right. I can’t quite figure it out either.

          • vorpal

            Jesus fuck… am I high? This image wasn’t intended to be serious, was it?

          • OrliJoe in Fla

            Looks like Confirmation. But I’m a lapses Catholic and I’ve done my best to erase the bad programming.

          • vorpal

            It’s confirmation of SOMETHING, alright, but I don’t know if that’s Catholicism.

          • Does your JMG boyfriend know you are cheating on him?

          • vorpal

            I suspect that he encourages it ;-).

          • I was referring to your unholy dalliance with Bill…

          • vorpal

            Well, thanks for that hefty dose of emetics…

          • Sugar baby, I’m not the one who follows it around like a lost puppy! Ignore it and it will go away, feed it and it is yours forever
            kiss kiss

            sorry you had to unswallow…hugs!

          • vorpal

            =sigh=
            I know you’re right (although I don’t follow it around – I just keep catching wind of its foul odour everywhere I go). I fed it, and that was a terrible mistake, because now it keeps trying to follow me home.

            Sometimes, I enjoy being a complete and utter shit head, though. It can be hard to resist!
            =hugs=

          • Gene

            EEEKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

          • Bill_Perdue

            You’re not high, but you are a racist troll.

            Practically the first words out of your mouth when other right wing anti-labor racists invited you to comment were to your little brother ‘guest’, another racist Obot and like you, Gene and polterpustule, an Islamophobic anti-Palestinian troll.

            After pandering to this troll and telling him how valuable he was you told him ” (Now, if we COULD chase Bill P. off, I would be delighted, but he seems impervious to how much people want him to go :D.) ”

            You can troll all you want. I’m not going anywhere because the opinions of racists and rightwingers like you are irrelevant – what is relevant are the politics of gay liberation and anti-racism and building unions, all of which you oppose.

          • vorpal

            ZOMG BYLLLLL you’re a tracist roll!

            Go put that on my “permanent record”, too, along with all those racist, anti-Palestine, anti-Israel, union busting, right-wing statements that I never made!

            Ask your doctor about risperidone and clozapine, Bill: they’re almost certainly right for you. And if they don’t work, we can always fall back on a lobotomy, although it seems like you may already have had a few of those.

          • Bill_Perdue

            You’re a sickening racist troll along with Gene, your unlamented bbf ‘guest’
            and Polterguest.

          • vorpal

            Bill, your obsession with me is flattering, but honestly, I’m not interested.

          • Bill_Perdue

            Piglet, your hatred of leftist and your trolling of our remarks is as useless and you are.

          • vorpal

            Keep flirting. I appreciate it, but it will get you nowhere.

          • Gene

            Bill. I promise you. I am not anti Islamic. with my best friend, who did a rigorous lent with me (he being am Imam as well as a scientist of note, he thought he woudl try the Christian season of fasting), I will be fasting for Ramadan starting tomorrow with him. It will be an interesting exercise. If nothing else, I am told you learn hunger and thirst from it, and that it makes you more empathetic towards the poor and disadvantaged. it was the beauty of the sura, and the call to prayer, that made me begin to learn Arabic, for it is beautiful, and great men like Salaheen were giants of a muslim world that excelled in the sciences and arts when Europe was in darkness.

            Dont call me an islamophobe, for, I am not.

            I love this space for the people who are in it. I disagree with many of them. Vorpal and I for instance disagree about something as basic as the very existance of God, be, he is a class act, and can get along with those he disagrees with, as long as they treat him the same way.
            You, you just come across as a angry, bitter, tired,….lonely, old person. I am sorry about that. I don’t like you. I admit it. I have seen men like Joseph try agree with you, and you INSTANTLY attack them. you are always on attack mode. you never listen. you never engage in winsome conversation.

            I hope you do sometime. You are a fellow Gay man, in a world that sees you and I both, often, as “the enemy”. I hope in time you can be respectful towards me and others, and, if you, that we can disagree in an agreeable manner, and maybe even become friends. till then, all you have done is antagonize, belittle, and hurt your own cause. Was THAT really the goal?

            good luck to you Bill.

          • Bill_Perdue

            Being anti-islamist is not the same as being an Islamophobe.

            You just come across as a racist. Pretending that the zionist state is legitimate and that it should not be dismantled is racist.

          • Todd20036

            Statue of the baby Jesus’ for some such. And the holy water urns are full of shit, too.

        • 2karmanot

          OMG! Father lip service.

      • Balderdashing

        Saint Lecherus feeding the children.

        • Balderdashing

          • Ben in Oakland

            LET GO OF MY EARS. I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING…….

            St. Orgasmus.

      • Ben in Oakland

        You all have such dirty minds. You’re watching too much porn.
        sounds like fun.

    • LarryChemEngr

      If we are going to ask this guy his opinion about our lives, let’s also ask an African witch doctor. They hold the same basis in reality, and have equivalent credibility.

      • I would trust the witch doctor a hella lot more than the sociopaths that run the Catholic Church.

        • motordog

          Nope, both are assholes…a few years back in South Africa, local ‘healers’ were telling people you could be cured of AIDS by having sex with a virgin (aka: the “Virgin Cleansing Myth”). This led to an epidemic of infant rapes…not just one, mind you, an epidemic! The photo below is of an actual sign put up on a South African street…wrap your brain around that; a ‘please don’t rape kids’ sign. I suppose the Vatican could use a few.

          Edit: oh, and let us not forget the witch-hunting hysteria of sub Sahara Africa…to this day modern witch-hunters still show up to find and murder innocent people as ‘witches’. To be fair, most of these so-called hunters use a mix of Christian and native methodology…so the worst of both worlds.

          • You are right of course. I was being facetious and should have indicated my snark. I was going to say something about low bars and similarities in scariness and the need to play dress up, but it was a long day and my wit is dull.

      • The-Noodle-Almighty

        Is that Sarah Palin’s witch doctor?

    • David Walker

      Joseph Welch to Joe McCarthy in the Army-MCarthy hearings of 1954: Let us not assassinate this lad further, Senator. You have done enough. Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?

      • I just wish they could feel the slightest bit of shame for all the misery they have visited on the world. They are without a doubt the most arrogantly, stubbornly, spiritually bankrupt organizations on the planet. Lack of decency seems to be central to dealing with anyone who threatens the doctrine (and ultimately the paycheck) of these fools.

    • Yes indeed, This is not entertainment and if people are using it as such they are just as guilty of perpetuating the devil myths. A devil or serpent starts out as a small snake in the garden of Eden and by Revelation its a big Red Dragon!
      By far this is the saddest tangent that grew way out of proportion that has repeatedly surfaced in the Roman Catholic Religion, however, without a Devil or Satan, there would be no need for a church. So there it is in a nutshell! That’ s why the real devil, namely money and power in the church, so tenaciously teaches a power to oppose God (Consciousness) or Perfection which is rank duality and would mean that God was no longer God, the Alone One Being. Do not all religions say that God is ALL? They merely give it lip service!
      If the Roman Catholic Church would begin to “give” to Omnipresence, Omniscience, Omnipotence (to what we name God or CONSCIOUSNESS) all the honor the Glory, the Power. the Substance, The Action, the Function, the Being, that it IS, she, would recognize that this precludes the possibility that there are minds many, with ideologies opposing one another and instead open up to the the Grandeur of Being, and finding Absolute Truth as one’s Center, everything, including all of us would appear quite differently, as ONE.
      Now don’t get me or this god-devil duality wrong, there is a age old false belief in a devil, and no matter how revered a institution that teaches it, a lie is still a lie! The Devil was a lie from its beginning.
      Who or What could oppose GOD/Consciousness, the Omnipotent One besides whom there cannot be an “other” to oppose or add to its Perfection. Otherwise God would cease to be God! YES?
      The catechism I learned and remember said that God was Everywhere present and no where absent, so where is there room for a devil except in the illusory dream we call ‘this’ world, which Jesus himself said we are to be in, but not of (meaning it’s illusions) If one we knew were dreaming about an opposer to God/Consciousness and so called spiritual warfare was rampant in that dream, and we knew that was just the assumptive human dream, would we try to change the dream or the seemingly real pictures in that dream or would we just wake the man up? Ponder this: that no idea of God can influence another idea of God’s, (man is a spiritual idea in Mind-Consciousness) it is impossible, except in a belief of separation from Deity. The fact that people once believed that the earth was flat never had to be corrected or “healed”, because it never was the Truth. This too shall pass, like waking from a “bad” dream.

    • Goodboy

      Honestly I was waiting for that too. A country controlled by corruption and people turning up with their heads hacked off but not a fucking word. They love power and status more then talking about Mexico’s real problems.

  • Sam_Handwich

    i wonder if Mexico projectile vomited guacamole in his face

    • another_steve

      Lolol. Like I said earlier, you’re good today, Sam. 🙂

      There’s this lovely little Mexican restaurant near us, where the man and I go to eat once a month or so. Over the years we’ve become close to our server there — Marisela — the most lovely human being you could possibly meet. We invited Marisela to our wedding reception, which she joyfully attended.

      We get periodic updates from her re queer Mexico. She’s got a whole slew of queer friends and relatives there and is more current on the subject than either boyfriend Joe or Google News.

      In a nutshell: Things are lookin’ promising, South of the Border. 😉

      • RoFaWh

        How lucky for you. Victoria BC is still a backwater when it comes to Mexican restaurants.

        I keep hoping for the Coho (ferry betw Victoria and Port Angeles, Washington) to arrive filled with Mexican restauranters determined to bring the light to Victoria.

        The Chinese and Indian food scenes are fairly good, but there’s lots of dross to pick the nuggets out of.

        • another_steve

          We Americans have been undergoing a spasm of “ethnic eating” for a while now, RoFaWh. Everywhere you look, a new ethnic restaurant is opening.

          Where I live, Peruvian food is the current craze. I understand that Peruvian-prepared chicken is to die for, but I haven’t tried it yet.

          I also happen to live near Washington D.C., our nation’s Capitol — which, if I recall correctly, has the most ethnic restaurants per capita of any American city.

          Understandable, given the international presence there.

          • RoFaWh

            You have to understand that when growing up (in the suburbs of Wash DC, 1950s) it was a great treat when the entire family went to an Mexican restaurant far up Connecticut Avenue.”El Mexico”.

            Very classy restaurant. The food came to the table a full hour after ordering. I suspect the kitchen was staffed by little old ladies who prepared everything to order from scratch.

            I’ve also had the great pleasure of eating in yet another classy Mexican restaurant, “El Poche” in South San Gabriel (near Pasadena).

            And here I sit in dear Victoria weeping over the absence of chilies relleño.

          • another_steve

            I hear ya.

            I have to be careful with the Mexican and the Indian, though.

            Order the wrong thing, and diarrhea all night.

          • Steverino

            Likewise, you need to be careful with uber-hot and spicy Thai cuisine. Hubby and I tried that once in Waikiki, and couldn’t make it back in time to our hotel before an “accident.” Oops.

            Will we try doing that ever again?

            Depends.
            ; )

          • another_steve

            Depends.
            ; )

            Lololol.

            Hear ya.

          • BudClark

            They’re not hard to make, but you DO need Mild Mexican Velveeta /s.

    • bambinoitaliano

      And 3 day old left over burritos in a lunch box without refrigeration.

    • Todd20036

      Waste of good guacamole.

  • Galvestonian

    …so the gays are still there … ehhhhh ? The ‘ju-ju’ didn’t work … I think the church still thinks that they’re working with stupids and the superstitious morons of the medieval period.

  • Gustav2

    Wasn’t “Magno Exorcismo” in X-men?

    • Rocketeer500

      I thought it was the stuff I had to take for the prep of the colonoscopy last week.

      • Bad Tom

        .

      • BearEyes

        vodka helps

        • MDB

          OK, I’ll bite: before, after or both ????

          • BearEyes

            as part of the prep – the vodka is clear and it makes that glop somewhat tolerable.

          • Rocketeer500

            Very true. Funny thing, Hubby always said I was full of shit. I now believe him.

        • Gene

          consumed orally, or……
          (ouch, that would hurt)

          • BearEyes

            LOL – mix it with the glop like a cocktail.

      • RoFaWh

        My doctor called me in a week or so ago.

        Him: “Lab tests show blood in your stool, you’re at 51 and the top end of normal is 50, time to get a colonscopy.”

        Me: “Oh, no, you don’t. I don’t like colonoscopies.”

        Him: “Admittedly, in all other provinces the cutoff is 100, not 50.”

        Me: “And it’s not having the scope inserted up my ass I object to; I’m gay [he nodded at this] and I’ve had things up there that would shock and horrify you. It’s the getting ready I don’t like.”

        We compromised. Another check for blood in my stool in a year, and if it’s crept up, then okay, off for a colonoscopy.

  • JW Swift

    OK, all together now….

    “How GREAT was it…?”

    • lymis

      Well, since he doesn’t seem to be sticking to his diet, it’s good that he’s exorcising.

      • JW Swift

        Granted, but just between you and me, I was going for one of those “It was soooo great that…” kind of things. One of those old stand-up comic bits from days gone by… (Come to think of it, wasn’t that one of Johnny Carson’s kind of running gags?)

  • johncAtl

    What, is this an attempt to out crazy Alex Jones?

    • Gene

      ya cant go faster than the speed of light,
      ya cant out crazy Alex Jones!
      🙂

      • Bad Tom

        .

    • GC

      At first I thought the article was something out of The Onion! It’s a perfect illustration of Poe’s Law.

  • lymis

    This is absolutely wonderful news! Fantastic! And it’s going to make a huge difference.

    Because, having banished Satan and other demons, the only remaining gay activity, including marriage, and yes, sex, will, by definition, be inspired by God.

    So this ends all possible religious objections to full LGBT equality in Mexico, right?

    Surely they won’t claim that their God Squad failed at this exorcism, right?

    • ben-andy

      Stop calling me Shirley. I told you, my name is Tanya Heine.

    • Bluto

      You know damn well they eschew logic, so stop it.

  • Gustav2

    “All of this, he said, has unleashed widespread violence precisely because of the action of the devil.”

    Good to know it wasn’t the drug trafficking!

    • Yes, and apparently it is retroactive for at least the last decade. I. just. can’t.

  • JJS_prime

    Didn’t some catholic bishops try try this in Chicago? Doesn’t appear to have worked there.

  • Steve

    If exorcising Satan actually worked the entire Catholic Church would disappear in a big poof of smoke.

    • Mark

      This isn’t quite the same thing but gave me the giggles…

      • Steve

        Have to steal it… Updated my post.

    • agcons

      White smoke, just because.

  • 2amor

    I called Cardinal Juan Sandoval Iniguez office in Guadalajara and told them the “Magno Exorcismo” did not work because my husband, myself and our two children are still gay,alive and happy here in Mexico………

    • Gene

      good for you 🙂
      the secretary had to be embarrassed just to have to represent such lunacy!
      few places in the world are as beautiful as Mexico, and Mexico City is one of my 3 favorite cities in all the world. Seeing it become more and more GLBT friendly is wonderful.

      • another_steve

        2amor — Echoing what Gene said, kudos to you. 😉

        Mexico is an incredibly wonderful nation — undergoing its “stresses” just as we are undergoing ours here in the States.

        We all wish you and your beautiful country happiness in the years ahead.

      • Hal Watts

        Felicitaciones y los buenos deseos para nuestras familias LGBT en su hermoso país!

  • LonelyLiberal

    I was in a Mexican once. I got out when I was finished and not before, although he wouldn’t’ve had to exorcise me. Just ask.

    • Bad Tom

      .

      • LonelyLiberal

        Regrettably, none. Even furry, well-built studs are shy when they’re closeted Catholics.

  • BearEyes

    how quaint!

  • delk

    I performed a far more successful exorcism on my bowels this morning.
    The power of bran compels me.

  • MythicalBeast

    Ah, Catholicism, the Great Satan that did all it could to murder and conquer the Méxica (Azteca) people and other indigenous nations, obliterate their religions and cultures, to plunder their treasures and force their peculiar European superstitions where they never really belonged. As the essayist Octavio Paz explored so insightfully, there’s a reason why “chinga tu madre” is the ultimate Mexican insult … Mother Mexico, brutally raped by Catholic nations and religion over and over until finally winning something resembling independence, once mostly Catholicized.

    What utter hypocrisy and stupidity these bigoted bishops display.

    ¡Que viva LGBT México lindo y querido!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jd_kdq2jlI

    • MDB

      One of my absolute favorites is Linda Ronstadt, Canciones de mi Padre. ¡ Perfectamente !

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCcqhifBLeE

      • Octavio

        Ese disco era el favorito de mi padre, también.

    • RoFaWh

      My mother was passionately fond of Carlos Gardel.

      But he was (iirc) Argentine, not Mexican.

      • Octavio

        Your mother would fit in down here in BsAs, for it is Gardel-o-rama. I’m not such a great fan. I prefer Astor Piazzolla. My father bore and uncanny resemblance to Pedro Enfante (Las Tres Garcias, etc.) and along with my grandfather was a big fan of Negrete. People (gabachos) still make fun of me for listening to Mexican corridos and ballades. It’s tragic so many have no idea what they are missing. 🙂

    • Octavio

      Ay, cabrón. ¿Cómo conoces esta canción? Era uno de los favoritos de mi abuelo, que lo cantó todo el tiempo.

      “México Lindo y Querido si muero lejos de ti
      que digan que estoy dormido y que me traigan aquí.”

      Ahora, meperdónes. Tengo que llorar.

      • MDB

        Pobrecito Octavio………music that makes you llorar, also helps your soul heal. 🙂

  • ben-andy

    It used to be that Moron sadz were my most treasured sadz. They came for me and mine in CA and then the Blessed Shelby stuffed them in a legal sack and stomped on them until they were paste and they didn’t even bother to fight the vote in MD, WA and wherever.

    Now I find that Cat-lick sadz are some of my favorites [really, running neck and neck with Fundie sadz of all stripes] because they have such an entrenched hierarchy that is SOOOOOOOO out of touch with the times and even their own flocks in general. I delight when Cat-lick Spain and the countries of America Sur fall one after another. And Ireland, and well, just name them off.

    I keep expecting Francis to find jobs cleaning the restrooms off St Peter’s Square for some of these guys. You know, some humble occupation to allow them to serve the masses. I think Cardinal Burke got the message [from Chief of the Vatican Court to Chaplain of the Knights of Malta, the only perk of which job is that he still gets to LIVE in Rome] and I think it sent a message too. If it hadn’t and if it hadn’t been heard, they’d have done the exorcism in the main square on the Cathedral steps.

  • Phaius

    The next day… oop. Nothing changed. SORRY, PRIESTS!

  • Rocketeer500

    Don’t these Archbishops realize that stunts like this only drive the faithful away from the church? Who were they really trying to exorcise? The demons? Or the parishioners?

    • RoFaWh

      They aren’t the brightest bulbs in the chandelier.

    • GreatLakeSailor

      If you think about it they really put themselves in a no-win situation:
      –exorcism works – no more gays…there goes one of their favorite fund raising pitches and a major GOTV point for those that fear their own shadow…oops.
      –exorcism does not work – BigGay wins again, and they reveal themselves as (take your pick) a) weak, b) hucksters, c) wrong – their sky-fairy really likes Teh Gayz, d) all of the above

    • canoebum

      “Everybody’s got a least a gay cousin!” -Chris Rock

  • Clive Johnson

    Poverty, illiteracy, lack of economic opportunity, child abuse, sexual assault, hunger, ignorance–all pale in comparison to the supposed threat of same sex marriage.

    One thing is more clear to me now than every before: We have to retire this crusty and harmful religion with all due haste.

    • MDB

      You forgot that we’re also responsible for all of the gay himmicanes and other Mexican weather disasters; poverty, illiteracy, hunger, ignorance are simply an unfortunate blip on our fabulous gay radar, acc. to Frankie’s intransigent and uber-orthodox devolved disciples.

      * sorry, I let our pet chupa cabras get out, AGAIN, too !!!
      mea culpa 🙁

      • Mark

        Has anyone blamed us for the storms hitting Texas today??

        • MDB

          Mark, have you been un chico malo ? – sending more torrential storms to Tejas/AGAIN ?!? Now turn yourself in to those two sexy Boston police cadets for your spanking !!!

          • SockMikey

            I thought the Himmicane was sent by Billy Bear or sumthin’ I read earlier. 🙂

          • MDB

            Mark AND Billy Bear ?? – ruh-roh !!!!!

          • Mark

            Would that I could. I’ve learned that being in my 60’s, there aren’t too many who give a passing glance.

    • BudClark

      “Crusty” … like that toilet in the Scottish bar in “Trainspotting.”

  • shellback

    “Catholic Church Exorcises Satan Out Of Entire Nation”

    Miraculously, all catholic churches disappeared in a puff of sulphurous smoke.

  • Desmond Rutherford

    Someone should give these people a Sunday Morning Live show on TV.
    The comedy would write itself.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      It would be a lot like Sprokets, but in Latin, and with fabulous tacky gowns.

  • pch1013

    I refuse to venture into the fetid swamp that is the Breitbarf comments section, but in case anyone else has: which attitude is predominating, the “we hate gays” one or the “we hate Mexicans” one? It must be so hard for their tiny little brains to determine the correct volume and amplitude of their hatred in a case like this.

    • Charles in Bloomington

      They went directly to: We Hate Obama. Wow, it’s crazy over there.

    • NZArtist

      Is it too late to tell them Breitbart is dead and their blog is a mutual masturbation pool?

    • Octavio

      The “We hate the Mexicans and all things Mexican” is the big winner. Just the thought of red meat has them fighting among themselves to see who has the biggest penis of hate — especially some hag who calls herself “Mamabear”. Just imagine. Ewwwwww, fer ick!

  • MDB

    Catholic archbishops and priests, take notice, here is how magic is performed by an expert.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRW7pITY5Cg

  • Octavio

    Sure, exorcise the gehys, but keep the drug lords. That’s the ticket.

    • Ben in Oakland

      you beat me to it. Damn YOU!!!!!!
      But in a nice, non-Christian sort of a way, of course.

      • MDB

        Seenyore Oktayveeoh can’t helps himself;
        hee has spended too much times around ze nice mormonos.

        • Octavio

          Mormones sympáticos no existen.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      By the end of Felipe Calderón’s administration (2006–12), the official death toll of the Mexican Drug War was at least 60,000. Estimates set the death toll above 120,000 killed by 2013, not including 27,000 missing.
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mexican_Drug_War
      But that’s okay. “The legalization of sexual aberrations” is what really gets their cassocks in a clump.

    • I.Smith

      Don’t forget the pedo priests.

    • MattPS

      Interesting that you mention the drug lords. Sandoval Íñiguez has been known to share gossip with some of them while on the links. And no, he doesn’t wear a cassock while he’s golfing. The man’s absolute slime. A few years back (while making his homily regarding the Gay Pride march in Guadalajara) he exhorted all gays to go back into the closet.

      • Octavio

        Sounds as if he’s a candidate for martyrdom. 😉

        • motordog

          We’ll take it up at the next agenda meeting…

        • Todd20036

          Actually, he’d be a great candidate for 2016 GOP, except for the citizenship question

    • The-Noodle-Almighty

      I’m sure the Catholic Churchs gets a lot of money from the drug trade, in the form of tithes, and hush money.

      • Galvestonian

        …the drug lords are a superstitious lot and some are VERY Catholic — dropping big money on the church guarantees a way into heaven for them and their families.

  • Ben in Oakland

    ““undoubtedly the abortion, Satanism, corruption, the cult of ‘holy’ death and the legalization of sexual aberrations have caused great satanic infestation throughout Mexico.” All of this, he said, has unleashed widespread violence precisely because of the action of the devil. The purpose of the exorcism was to “drive the demons out of Mexico,”
    Undoubtedly, it couldn’t have a thing to do with the drug war, bribery, the drug war, criminal organizations, the drug war, criminal intentions, the drug war, and two centuries of exploitation of the poor in Mexico by the rich.
    It’s gotta be gay marriage,.

    • People4Humanity

      Look — over there! SQUIRREL!

  • BobSF_94117

    So… now Mexico has SSM and no demons?

    Sounds like someone owes us a gracias or something…

  • Bruno

    And still American cathoics go to catholic mass. Still. After all the protections given to priests who molest young boys. Yet, we queer men are still to blame. Yet, there are catholic queers who attend these masses.

  • nonyas

    Way to stay relevant in 2015!

  • Christophe

    Why don’t the castings and curses emanating from their cess-pool mouths ever work? Because acting makes their unfounded beliefs “feel real” or something. And then when it doesn’t work as usual, they get angry and blame everyone else for not harboring the same delusions; rather like the heart patient about to blow his stack in the photo.

  • PBGVNinja

    Catholic Church, cry me a river! I’ll bet they did this exorcism in secret because otherwise they might just get in trouble with the law in Mexico. I seem to recall that after 1917 it became illegal for priests to go out in public in their cassocks. They could only wear religious attire legally *in* church. Don’t know if that law has been repealed but there remains a fairly strong anti-clerical sentiment in Mexico.

  • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson
    • Gene

      THATS the best one YET!

    • vorpal

      ..

  • NZArtist

    Y’know, it’s almost as if having an invisible friend makes you completely fucking crazy.
    Oh, wait, it’s that ‘having an invisible friend’ thing.

  • A Big Sarcastic Fairy!

    Ooga booga ooga, bye bye Satan, (yes translated directly from the old latin! LOL!!!!!) Or even better this….

    • NZArtist

      All his princess points were revoked.

  • TampaZeke

    I’ve never seen a more clear picture of the old saying, “It’s like putting earrings on a pig!” That pig is decked out from head to toe in silk and gold and he’s still nothing but a pig.

  • SockMikey

    .
    I want to see a story about the Catholics and Baptists exorcising each other to another country! 🙂

  • Capritaur

    • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

      That’s a very generous depiction. He is more akin to
      the blobfish, aka Psychrolutes marcidus.

      • Paula

        I was gonna go with the grouper. Your picture is good.

        • David L. Caster

          Grouper fish are relatively curious and somewhat friendly to divers. They are some big fish when fully mature.

        • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

          The grouper works… the blobfish is just slimier and uglier, warts and all. 👅

  • Puckfair52

    last time I saw a mouth like that it had bait & a hook in it

    • Kenneth Hwang

      You know, at least Glinda bears some merits to her. The whole Oz recognises her as the most powerful witch, unlike some pesky frilly priest who claims to have been bestowed holy powers.

    • motordog

      I’m seeing a bit of Burgermeister Meisterburger, or maybe Heat Miser…definitely a Rankin-Bass villain, though.

  • May 20th you say…. Let me check my calendar. Huh. I just thought that was a really wicked bout of flatulence. Who knew?

  • I.Smith

    If it that easy to get rid of Satan and stop evil, why don’t the lazy priests do this every day in every nation, we would then live in harmony.
    Satan is this big threat that we are to worry about, when all it takes to stop him is a few old men in dresses saying nonsense for him to go away.

  • Justin

    It’s not even good performance art.

  • Bill Harnsberger

    Glad to hear it. With Satan vanquished, the Catholic Church in Mexico has put itself out of business. Do the US next! Do the US next!

    • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

      [possessed voice, as she masturbates with a crucifix] Let Jesus fuck you, let Jesus fuck you! Let him fuck you!

  • Wynter Marie Starr

    I wonder if those that aren’t Catholic can sue for being exposed to an unwanted religious ceremony?

  • Richard Rush

    Which has consistently caused more hallucinations throughout human history – drugs or religion? And why is one of them illegal while the other is not only legal, but gives the consumer special rights, deference, and respect?

    • another_steve

      A provocative comment, Richard. I love those sorts of comments. I scour the JMG comment threads looking for them, actually. 😉

      Drug experience and “religious experience” can be — sometimes are — closely related.

      Are you old enough to know about the writings of Leary, Huxley, Watts et al.?

      • Richard Rush

        At 70 years of age, I’m sure I’m old enough to know about the writings of Leary (Timothy?), Huxley, Watts et al., but I’m embarrassed to say that I’m not familiar with their writings.

        It’s often said that, on average, atheists know more about religion than the religious believers. I’m not one of those atheists. After I reached the conclusion that religion was a combination of myths, fallacies, superstition, delusion, hallucinations, fantasies, and a convenient means for fraudulent people to achieve power & wealth, I didn’t want to spend much more time on the subject. Although I certainly do find the subject fascinating, I’m still too busy with other activities to spend much time it.

  • Drugs, mass murder, corruption, rape, abductions, violent drug gangs, okay. Gay Marriage? Summon the Inquisition!

  • TrollopeReader

    “All of this, he said, has unleashed widespread violence precisely because of the action of the devil.”

    Gosh, the drug cartels are heaving sighs of relief.

  • Timothy Kincaid

    Oh good. Without Satan around, maybe the drug lords will stop lopping off heads, the wealthy will care for the needy, the politicians will stop being corrupt, and church won’t be so greedy.

    • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

      They should travel up north a year from now to exorcise the Republican Convention 2016, or in Fall 2015 when the Republican Congress reconvenes.

      If only it was real.

  • Padre Vuestro

    Actually, I think Satan is hiding in that pinche chingadero’s eyebrows. But I wonder why these cowardly pseudo-eunoch, genuine-pedophiles have never had the cojones to exorcise Mama México of the satanic narco-traficantes? Could it be that the narcos tithe generously? Or was Jesús alright with drugs, torture, and murder? You gotta wonder about the Catholic church hierarchy in México, and the druglords.

  • MAP

    And when it doesn’t work it proves one of two things..
    1) there is no God or
    2) God really doesn’t give a good shit about gays getting married .

    • another_steve

      MAP, I’d suggest that whatever there is — whatever it is that’s keeping your heart and my heart and the hearts of everyone reading here beating — wants only that we prosper and thrive.

      That’s why the arc of the universe leads toward justice.

      Because on that journey, we thrive.

  • billbear1961

    You mean, thanks to this ceremony, the predatory Catholic Church will soon be “giving up the ghost” in Mexico, or at least the heinously evil hierarchy will be driven out?!

    Oh, the irony!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELufSzviGoU

  • Sporkfighter

    “In an extraordinary act of spiritual warfare …”

    If that’s all it takes, why didn’t they do it sooner? Why not do it annually? And why has nothing changes since? Acynical man might assume they are no more effective (though far less honest) than any tribal shaman from anywhere and anytime in the past or future.

    • another_steve

      Hon, it’s all voodoo.

      Sacrificing the ox at the “sacred place,” or High Holy Mass at the Cathedral of the Queen of Yonkers…

      All voodoo.

  • Michael Bruce Florist

    Now back to our regular broadcast…

  • BudClark

    Shame they didn’t televise it. Ancient Grand Exorcisms were quite the show … gorgeous vestments, glorious music, esp. the motets written to be sung during the administration of the auto da fe. Seriously. They have been recorded (without the neck-breaking and the screams, though).

    • Octavio

      “Oh what a day for an auto de fe!”

      • Macbill

        Break out the sangria

      • Ben in Oakland

        I see cannibals a-munchin’
        a missionary luncheon……

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      Iñiguez should’ve sold tickets to his freak show.

  • Kissmagrits

    You would think the bishops could be a little more concerned with the astonishing levels of violence surrounding drug cartels in Mexico – those who think little about destroying whole villages.

    Where do your place your priorities, you ecclesiastical morons?

    • Paul

      Not to mention the missing students. It’s been HOW LONG now, and still no answer?

  • J̶a̶l̶a̶p̶e̶ñJoe Smithson

    This guy sure does take the fun out of “spanking the bishop.”

  • The Aztec goddess Tonantzin (who has been co-opted as “Our Lady of Guadalupe”) wants her temple back. Mother Earth cries out to send these troubleome priests and their colonialist religion packing back to Rome,

  • Ben in Oakland

    i used this to write a little comment on the Sothern baptists.

    In Mexico, several bishops and exorcists have conducted a mass exorcism of the entire country, in their dismay over gay marriage, blaming Juan and Pablo’s marriage for the ills be setting the country. No mention of the drug war and little mention of the corruption that it engenders. No mention of poverty, lack of education and opportunity, or 500 years of exploitation of the poor by the rich and powerful.

    This makes the bishops looks ignorant, stupid, and mean. Worse, it makes them look ineffectual, impotent, and wrapped up in magic, and no one likes a LOSER.

    AoG might be doing well, perhaps at the expense of the SBC. But I suspect that the reasons for that resemble the above mentioned bishops. The SBC was behind the maintenance of segregation, and was founded on slavery. It took until 1995 for them to apologize for both.

    Now, gay people are their target. They look hysterical, mean, and ignorant, ineffective, and impotent. And worse: like losers.

    AGAIN.

  • But not for the narco-traffic, or the corruption, or the degradation of the environment or extremes of wealth and poverty… just gay marriage.

  • raybob

    I always wonder where all those demons go that they get out of a person …

    • Dan Robinson

      Trump’s comb-over?

  • Rocco

    He looks positively reptilian. Nothing remotely holy or to do with God. Simple projection.

  • TexPlant

    why don’t they exercise all the child molesters in the church?

    • Dan Robinson

      Not even god has that much power.

  • Todd20036

    Um, no. Just, no.

  • KarenAtFOH

    I just exorcised Mexico of all wild elephants, and you won’t find a single herd there now. You’re welcome.

  • canoebum

    If they have their hearts set on exorcising something from all of Mexico, why don’t they start with murder for hire?

  • matt n

    if he weren’t wearing a gown, it would be easier to see him stomping his feet like a five year old.

  • Hawthy

    That pic reminds me of……..