Funny Or Die Vs The Duggar Family

  • JesterRedPanda

    “Like a machine gun of christianity”
    OH lord my sides!

    • SockMikey

      With Kevlar Vests of Self-Righteousness!

    • TommyTune

      I spit out a perfectly good martini over that one.

      • Rambie

        That’s alcohol abuse sir! 😉

        • TommyTune

          I know!

    • Gerry Fisher

      That *was* the best line.

  • Bj Lincoln

    The hair! The creepy smiles! Pop pop pop…machine gun of christianity!
    I….I can’t breath……snort……..i do not want to piss myself………..too late.

    • Leo Tallant

      Please see my video response to Octavio… 😉

  • oikos

    “I’m gonna pop em out 4 at a time.” Kudos to these actors-hilarious! Not so hilarious that their daughters are victims of this and they don’t care in the real world.

    • bkmn

      The daughters have gotten zero counseling (but I would not be surprised if Jim Bob shamed them a bit) and their parents are still willing to trot them out in front of a camera after all this. I hope they get out of that family and sue the pants off their parents.

      • oikos

        They should sue and then write a tell all book to expose the quiverfool movement for what it is: a pedophile cult.

        • Joseph Miceli

          We’ll have to wait 10 year, but it will happen. Hell, if members of the Phelp’s family can escape, anyone can.

        • Cuberly

          The one good thing, and there is NO really good thing, that came out of this is all the articles about the f’d up quiverful movement.

          It’s getting a fair amount of mainstream coverage, which is something that REALLY needed to happen.

          • oikos

            Headline: “Cockroaches meet daylight.”

          • Cuberly


      • lattebud

        Here is how the counseling session went….

        “Girls, let’s all gather around and read bible verses about men’s superiority, how we should be subservient, and how women are evil temptresses who need to sit down and shut up….Now, let’s take a moment to medicate, er mediate, on god’s word and then fold laundry and make the boys’ beds for our Physical Education curriculum.”

      • SockMikey

        That would be awesome if they did.

        Per reports, James Robert (Jim Bob) & Michelle Duggar are worth an estimated 3.6 Million.

  • TreGibbs

    It would be funny if it weren’t true.

    • AndyinChicago

      Emphasis on would be. I mean, I laughed, but then I kept thinking about the poor girls who went through this, got no closure, and now are having to watch this whole thing go through the media with the entire political right defending their molester. Ugh. Schadenfreude has never felt so awful.

      • Joseph Miceli

        Mike Huckabee in particular. Of course, his own family has their scandals as well. I didn’t need another reason to despise him, but I am so not surprised that Huckabee has supplied us with an additional one.

        • Sporkfighter

          I can only think of one reason Huckabee wouldn’t drop a pedo like a snake . . . and that would be if he’s used to handling reptiles already.

        • SockMikey

          He does have that “Hell & Brimstone” aura where that tends to extend and encompass those that don’t subscribe to his worldview.

          Him as President would be *very* scary.

      • Wynter Marie Starr

        That’s the part that has me spitting mad. How the fuck do you defend a child molester? These people speak about morality, but they certainly have none.

      • SockMikey

        I’m not so sure that they are seeing a lot of this.

        I wonder if the siblings that have left/married have TV’s and/or have now isolated themselves from the Internet after the first report.

        I would not be surprised if that were the case.

        The hardest part would be going to church and seeing knowing eyes or out in public I think.

  • Turi

    The horrifying part is that this is all accurate.

    • Joseph Miceli

      So glad they are oblivious to the sin of gluttony. I know, minor compared to sexual predation, but still typical of “Christians.”

      • james_from_cambridge

        They’re oblivious to every sin except homosexuality. Fuckers.

        • Joseph Miceli

          Well, given the proclivities of closeted Evangelists, more properly they should be titled “fuckees.”

    • teeveedub

      Exactly. It’s almost impossible to distinguish the script of this video from their actual positions. It is only a marginally heightened version of reality.

  • Rebecca Gardner

    “Like a little machine gun of Christianity.”

    OMG! I am hysterical. So awesome.

    • Joseph Miceli

      “…pop, pop, pop….”

    • lattebud

      Can she just get jammed for a couple years?

  • Octavio

    Yeah. The Duggar fiasco is a serious tragedy for Josh’s victims. However, this short vid does an excellent job of putting the hypocrites in the place. I laughed. I cried. I laughed some more . . . I laughed. And if I ever have the misfortune of meeting Josh Duggar in person I will kick him so hard in the nuts he’ll drop like rock and never be able to father any children the rest of his life. This is my promise to the universe! 🙂

    • Mark

      Too bad one of his sisters didn’t have the same frame of mind!

      • Bj Lincoln

        Cult brainwashing prevents her.

    • Leo Tallant
    • Joseph Miceli

      Isn’t that what a moral person SHOULD do to a man who enabled his son to molest his daughters and then blamed the daughters?

    • GayOldLady

      “if I ever have the misfortune of meeting Josh Duggar in person I will kick him so hard in the nuts he’ll drop like rock”

      Oh, I’d buy a ticket to see that!!!

      • Octavio

        I’ll make certain that it is on video. 🙂

    • 2amor

      and this why we all love you Octavio!!!!!

    • lattebud

      Did his testicles ever drop?

      • Octavio

        Good question. 🙂

    • I.Smith

      Just don’t forget to ask God for forgiveness then everything will be alright.

      • Octavio

        There is no “god”.

        • I.Smith

          True but asking a figment of your imagination for forgiveness means you are not to blame for your crimes.
          Yet if someone was to say that the Flying Spaghetti Monster forgave them I doubt the Republicans would accept it.

          • Octavio


  • another_steve

    So here is all you need to know about fundamentalist religious (Christian, Jewish, Islamic, whatever) belief:

    1. Women are intrinsically evil seducers.

    2. Men are weak. Their pee-pees rule their lives.

    3. Ipso facto, men rape women.

    End of story.

    • Joseph Miceli

      Men are moral and upstanding….until evil women with their satanic vagines’ seduce them into evil.
      Me, I’ve always lusted more after anus, so I guess I’m destined for the circle of Hell below the female sluts. Quelle surprise.

      • Ginger Snap

        I’ll be waiting at that circle of hell for you with a smile and a big glass of ice water to welcome you.

        • Joseph Miceli

          Always the perfect hostess, my dear!

          • Ginger Snap

            With the moistest.

    • kaydenpat

      And if the woman gets pregnant from the rape, that’s on her. No Abortions. All fetuses are precious.

      • lattebud

        Until they are born… Then they are welfare-sapping, bastard children that the mother should have had the good sense not to get knocked up.

  • Todd20036

    I’d bet the Duggars really don’t remember all of their kids’ names.

    • clay

      Seriously, they should have thought ahead and gone with an alphabetical system.

      • Cuberly
        • Joseph Miceli

          Have they had them chipped in case they lose one of them?

          • vorpal

            That right there sounds like DEVIL talk, sir! Mark of the Beast! Hisssss!

          • Joseph Miceli

            (sing song voice) “I’ve got caaaatttt niiiippp…..”

          • vorpal

            =ears perk up=
            Where? WHERE???

          • Cuberly
          • Ginger Snap

            I have a fondness for men that wear this type or jewelry.

          • Cuberly

            Ah, the thrill seeker eh?

          • Ginger Snap

            Yes dangerous men are my weakness.

          • Joseph Miceli

            It’s what Jesus would do.

          • IamM

            Don’t give them any ideas.

        • clay

          (requires a free hand)

          • Cuberly


      • PeterC

        But, then they would need to know the alphabet.

    • grada3784

      They’re like the Bible. Girls’ names aren’t very important; it’s only the boys’ names that count for anything.

      • vorpal

        They should have just saved time and effort and named them “Little Machine Gun of Christianity” 1 through 9.

    • charemor

      My thoughts exactly!

    • Stev84

      They are also confusing because they all start with “J”

  • MBear

    it’s funny because it’s true

  • kaydenpat

    “I tell you what”

    Love this — especially when the music stops so Mrs. Duggar can slander gays — although, I must admit that the real Jim Bob is better looking by a smudge.

  • anne marie in philly

    mrs stepford wife looks like she sat on some dogshit (look at the eyes), and mr got waay fat!

    • lattebud

      Jim Bob heard Dadbods were hot.

  • Ninja0980

    Too funny and too true.

  • JalapeñoBusiness

    “Scooby dooing around” is my new favorite catch phrase

  • TexPlant

    HAHA When you have too many kids you are bound to raise a few molesters

    • charemor

      And possibly a a gay one also.

  • AJA

    The woman who plays Michelle in this skit (Erin Gibson) does a HILARIOUS weekly podcast called Throwing Shade. If you like two comedians going on about nothing but female and gay issues for about an hour, it’s a BLAST!

    • Cuberly

      Thanks for the heads up. Just bookmarked Gibson’s site.

    • bunnysanford

      I was just going to post about it — Throwing Shade is the best! It’s funny, they’ve mentioned the Duggars in passing the last couple of episodes, before this story came out, and I’m hoping they dig in deep this week (it just finished downloading on my phone, and I’ll be listening at the gym). Freddie Bell Jones!

  • Micah Spiese

    Love me some Erin! FREDDIE BELL JONES!

  • Jude Newton

    On a side note: Did anyone read the police report? All 5 victim interviews were almost identical.
    “What did you do after it happened”
    “I ran to tell Mom & Dad”
    “Do you feel fear living at home?”
    There was hardly any deviation at all.
    Nothing like coaching.

  • Sporkfighter

    I was expecting funny . . . all I saw was the horrible truth.

  • KaBoomBOX

    They totally nailed it!

  • I am so worried about the abuse the lgbtq children in this family (and there are lgbtq children in this family)–the parents abusing them by not allowing them to be who they are at best and at worst punishing them. I’m also worried about the young women that were abused in the family by Josh Duggar and I wonder why TLC can’t step up to the plate right now and offer any of the kids that are of legal age a pile of cash to leave the family.

  • this would be funny if it weren’t so un-funny… 8/

  • Geezus Christ

    Huh? I smell somethin’ funny…

    • lattebud

      Just cause he is a total lying sack of shit?