New York City Hotelier Mati Weiderpass:
I Won’t Be Silenced By Gay Extremists

“Since hosting a discussion with Texas Senator Ted Cruz in my home, I have been inundated with hateful, biased social media messages, and attacks from gay extremists (do I dare say the word?) who demand inclusion, but do not believe in dialogue. I know in my heart that these attacks do not represent the rich culture and diversity of the gay community. Yet, in our community, as in so many others, the most vocal often dominate the conversation. I hope this op-ed will help heal wounds and continue necessary progress and discussion. It is amazing that my businesses are being boycotted by some because I hosted a discussion with an elected official. Not a fundraiser. Not an endorsement. A dialogue. What would we say if the Jewish community organized a boycott of a business leader who hosted a private discussion with an important Muslim politician? We know the answer. I am a longtime leader of my community – and proud of who I am and what I have accomplished. Boycotting me for a discussion? Since when have we grown so small and intolerant?” – Manhattan hotelier Mati Weiderpass, in the opening of his New York Observer op-ed. (Tipped by JMG reader Griffin)

  • timncguy

    was your fundraiser for anti-gay Sen Ron Johnson (R) a fundraiser and an endorsement?

  • People4Humanity

    I see they retain the same PR firm as before.

    • BobSF_94117


    • SFHarry

      I think the strategy is to divide and conquer. They want us to turn on ourselves. It hasn’t been working so far. I don’t suspect it will.

  • LonelyLiberal

    Oh, piss off. I don’t give a pass to people who host right-wing political figures. Particularly when said political figures actively work to limit my rights.

    Also, Mati, you have the Psycho Stare. Obamacare now covers mental health issues.

    • The Milkman

      “Oh, piss off.”

      Precisely. And kudos for noticing the crazy eyes.

  • Elsewhere1010

    When trapped in the bottom of a hole, remember to keep digging.

    • Rand503

      You know, when this story first broke, I was angry, but I figured it was just another ignorant rich jerk who didn’t know what he got himself into. The first apology actually sounded kinda sincere, and I thought that the protests in front of the hotel were a bit too much. With all the enemies we have, do we really have to march and protest against one of our own?

      But since then, I have seen a clearer picture of an over entitled rich kid who really actually thinks a politician would care about his position on middle east politics. He thinks he is above criticism, and when attacked, he insults us as cheap. The guy has no moral standing whatsoever, and he is certainly no leader of the community.

      Getting rich off of gays paying for overpriced drinks does not make you a leader! I know many true leaders, and they have trouble making ends meet. Frank Kameny died in near penury. And now, his latest trick is to give the real homophobes an excuse to bash us some more.

      Great strategy, Herr leader!

  • seant426

    Piss off. You suck. No one cares about you. Crawl back under the rock from which you came.

  • Craig S

    Blow. Me.

    • TampaDink

      He is unworthy.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        NO kidding ! My Penis has standards ! Just ask him.

        • People4Humanity

          An in-person, in-depth interview is required.

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            Fine. Appointment or walk – in ?

          • People4Humanity


        • vorpal

          Does he give interviews?

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            Yes, lengthy and in depth.

          • vorpal

            Would he be willing to poke his head in and come on my show to share a few spurts of knowledge? Perhaps he has a hot tip he can endow me with.

        • TampaDink

          So often, penises speak very softly. I’ll need to lean in extremely close, if you don’t mind. ;-p

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            Mind ? I insist 🙂

          • TampaDink

            I’d blush if I could remember how it is done. ☺

  • geoffalnutt

    A lying Repiglicon? Say it isn’t so!!!

  • Terry Teeter

    Fuck you if you seriously consider that nut job a ‘leader’.

  • popebuck1

    Lie down with dogs, get up with fleas. If you don’t want to hang out with us small-minded, intolerant gay extremists, feel free to hang out with your new friend Ted.

    Oh wait, he’s busy denying he has even the slightest sympathy for Teh Gays, and introducing the harshest anti-gay legislation he can come up with. But at least he’s not small-minded or intolerant!

    • Gustav2

      Maybe he can open a Christianist hotel called ‘The Dominionist’ so Sens Cruz and Johnson can invite all their friends

  • timncguy

    Mati, when are you going to explain lying about holding a fundraiser for Clinton?

  • barracks9

    Boo-fucking-hoo. I’ve said it before: any planned event with a presidential candidate during campaign season involves the exchange of funds or the PROMISE of future funds. Ergo, any “discussion” you had was, at its core, a fucking fundraiser.

    Go blubber into your millions.

    EDIT: Since when is Ted Cruz an important politician, other than in his own fevered mind?

    • Sadly, Cruz is important and influential. He’s the de facto head of the Teavangelical Senate caucus and largely responsible for a lot of the mess in Congress and the rest of our government right now.

      • Gustav2

        also the de facto head of the House Teavangelicals.

    • Dennis

      I’m trying to answer the question, “Why would a candidate for President go to an event “for free?” A candidate’s job is to raise money and get his message out. Having a “discussion” does neither of these.
      Is it because there were only a handful of guests there? Is it because the hosts were gay, and in Cruz’ mind, had nothing to include? Cruz, being Cruz wouldn’t give up a chance to make money.

      “Gay extremists?” Oh grrrrrrrl! *snap snap* We haven’t even gotten to extremism yet. It only looks extreme because you have never seen us stand our ground like this before. Pray you never see gay extremism. Goodbye Broadway, goodbye tv and movies, fashion, other industries etc.

      • JoeNCA

        Yeah, that’s what I was wondering too! He’s a presidential candidate. He doesn’t sit down to “chat” with anyone for less than five figures.

      • Ken

        Cruz was here on a short NYC fund raising trip. He would not have taken an hour out of that–much less two or three with a campaign photographer in tow–if there weren’t a check in the offing. Also, even the photo op garnered the Presidential campaign a bump with a given demographic or two, which translates into $$$$$. They really are insulting to us, on top of injuring us.

  • Dramphooey

    “Yet, in our community, as in so many others, the most vocal often dominate the conversation.” Well, duh. Do you have a satisfactory response? A strong argument is not mao-maoing the other side.

  • TampaZeke

    Too fucking arrogant and clueless to stop digging!

    He’s DONE!

    • Mark

      Poke him with a meat thermometer and it’ll read “burnt.”

  • oikos

    Yes, you are a victim, of your own actions.
    People disagreeing with you are not attacks, but them exercising the same freedom of speech that you are in this article.
    Boycotts are peaceful protest, unlike for example when christians bomb abortion clinics because they disagree.

    • David Walker

      One of life’s lessons that some either don’t get or refuse to believe is that lying, for the most part is an extremely difficult thing to do well. First, yes, the internet never forgets, but secondly, and more importantly, one is prone to forget what lie you said to whom. People DO compare notes.

  • LovesIrony

    flipping and floppin. so are you remorseful for hosting the biggest antigay bigot in the senate or not? also, you don’t acknowledge that your little chat was made to introduce him to a big donor. also that the day after your little enemy entertainment Ted Cruz announced his intent to introduce two severely anti gay pieces of legislation.

    • oikos

      Apparently those posts are utterly insincere as well, like all quislings, these two are quite adept at lying.

      • lymis

        They clearly expected the “remorse” to be all that was needed, and when they didn’t do a damn thing to prove that they meant it and people noticed, they’re both getting bitchy about it.

        • oikos

          Cons always think a non apology and zero contrition for their actions are acceptable. Homocons are even worse because they are always victims of the ‘mean gay community.’

        • Paula

          Remorse is easily purchased.

      • Soren456

        They had a good writer.

        • oikos

          as well as PR. 😉

    • I’ve worked for the 1%. They are surrounded by sycophants usually. That’s not always something they chose but people all want something from them (usually money but sometimes favors, jobs, etc). After awhile they start believing their own hype and the platitudes served up to them so that when something they do is criticized, they can’t imagine how a single apology can’t fix a serious problem. it’s worked in so many other situations. Say, for example, when an employee is found dead in your bathtub from a drug overdose. They’re so used to serious problems going away with a single phone call, that they are blindsided when the public at large is not so impressed by their money or perceived importance.

      • gaymex

        …and god help you if you work for them and point out the ass kissing. They are so used to sycophants that your voice sounds mean and cruel when you actually are doing them a real service.

        • I worked for people like this (not gay, but rich and entitled) on and off for over a decade. I mostly found it amusing, cashed the checks and moved on. They’re all pretty much like this. Sometimes well meaning but completely out of touch with reality. And I never offered any opinions at all. Not that anyone asked LOL. The first thing you have to understand about people like this is that they don’t think of us as their peers or equals and don’t care what we think except when it creates an unpleasantness for them.

          • fuow

            It’s been my experience that the worst of the worst are those who came to money through other people. Inheritance, marriage, hitting it big once.
            They’re much more inclined to expect people to treat them as if they’re special.

          • I’ve known some exceptions to that, but as a rule, yes…they mostly (as Molly Ivans used to say) were born on third base but think they hit a home run.

            What’s really funny is the “how much money have you donated to gay causes” bullshit also in this comments section. it’s well known in fundraising circles (with studies to back this up) that middle income people donate a larger percentage of their money to charity than the rich.

          • fuow

            Oh, hell, yes – the amount of money people donate relative to what they could donate is totally skewed, and not toward those of us who have more to give.
            I’m far more generous with my time than with my money.
            Telephone banking, knocking on doors, driving people here and there and everywhere, that sort of thing.
            Part of it is my promise to my husband several years back that I’d not give a penny to anyone in my party who doesn’t support us 100%, no holds barred.
            Part of it is my (then) raging fury at the HRC and my (today, still) great distrust of the HRC and their ‘commitment’ to the entire LGBT community.
            They’re committed to one thing: Doing as little for the queer community as possible.
            Maine back in 2008 taught me a very important lesson: It only takes a few gay-men haters among us to ruin things. It’s impossible to demand your money back or really ‘earmark’ it as well as you’d like to do. It’s painful to have to snap at a man-hating PC-Politesse that she’s ruining it for all of us and I’m out of here, but I’ve done it.

            I won’t work with people who bash gay men, I won’t work with people who bash our transgender brothers and sisters. I sure as hell wouldn’t work with anyone who hated women, but, thankfully, that generation of assholes has pretty much passed from this mortal coil.

          • lattebud

            For the wealthy, It is easy to write a check and get ass kissing from the organization or charity. But, what is more important is the well of to reach out and influence others to write checks to, acquire grant money to , and find high-quality volunteers for well-deserving charities and organizations.

            They can right a check for $5000 or write a check for $4000 and spend a $1000 on a gathering to talk about the importance of giving to this cause.

      • fuow

        There’s a lot to be said for people with serious money having to muck out their own stables.

      • canoebum

        I’ve worked for some of the top 1% of the 1%. When you work for them, you very soon see examples of people who are “in”, then very suddenly become “out”. Like, “Hey, we haven’t heard from Tony for a while. What’s going on?” “He’s out.” And never to be spoken of again. No one will say or do anything that they preceive as risking their “in” status. Never. Ever.

        • Oh, they love having their asses kissed. I worked for a CEO for awhile who played solitaire until the president (a couple of them back) was on the line so that POTUS would be holding for him and not the other way around. Yes, they really are that petty and vain, which ought to tell you how they took us down the hole of unsustainable leverage that almost melted down the global economy and then insisted they deserved bonuses.

  • greenmanTN

    Jeez. Now he’s comparing gays to Muslims who presumably want to destroy Israel?

    First they were digging themselves deeper with a shovel, but now they’ve moved on to using a backhoe!

    FWIW, I didn’t really flip out about the Cruz meeting in the first place, I just think it’s amusing watching these guys make it worse every time they open their mouths. Apparently money doesn’t buy a scintilla of awareness, contrition, or media savvy!

  • rextrek1

    sorry – there is no DIALOGUE with someone like Ted Cruz..NONE!

  • ChitownKev

    ooooooh, I guess she got us gay extremists told….

    • delk

      she dared say the word!

  • Blake Jordan

    “… blah blah blah I am a house faggot blah blah blah…” – Mati Weiderpass

    • Blake Jordan

      What is he actually trying to accomplish now?

      He is not going to bring the boycotters back, and he is not going to get enough conservatard business to compensate, because he is still a filthy sinner!!!

      • Rambie

        We should thank him for keeping this going. If he’d just kept his trap shut the boycotting would have ebbed off. Sure some people would never go back, but some would forget and move on.

  • RyanInIllinois

    “What would we say if the Jewish community organized a boycott of a business leader who hosted a private discussion with an important Muslim politician?” What a ridiculous analogy. Most Muslims do not wish ill of Jews. On the other hand, Ted Cruz has nothing but animosity for LGBT people. These ‘hoteliers’… WTF?

    • MarkOH

      I am so SICK of the Muslim card with these haters. “Gay would never go after a Muslim bakery”.

      • clay

        but it does serve to remind us that the “dialogue” he had with Sen. Cruz was about supporting Israel, not lesbians and gays in America.

    • wtf indeed

      That Jewish/Muslim thing was really offensive. A false and offensive analogy. It implies that as a general rule “Muslims are opposed to civil rights for Jews,” which I really don’t think is the case.

      It sounds like Weiderpass doesn’t yet appreciate the fundamental objection that meeting with Ted Cruz legitimizes Ted Cruz. Cruz is fringey (seen his dad?) and needs to stay that way. He should be shunned, not treated as an important politician.

    • BobSF_94117

      I don’t think it’s a ridiculous analogy. We need only look at their reaction to Columbia inviting I’m-a-Dinner-Jacket to speak a few years ago to see the reaction of the “Jewish community”.

      The analogy was stupid, and wrong.

  • Versailles

    “I am a longtime leader of my community” Your community obviously begs to differ.

    • clay

      (I think he meant the Jewish community.)

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        Yet another delusion of his.

      • TampaDink

        (Jewish millionaire community.)

      • SFHarry

        I really don’t think he is a leader of the Jewish community either.

      • Reality.Bites

        Most Jews don’t support Cruz or even moderate Republicans.

        Those who do, sure as hell don’t support people like him.

    • buster

      I have never met a community leader who actually describes him or herself as a leader of the community. What an ego!

      • Gerry Fisher

        What buster just said.

    • popebuck1

      It works if you define “my community” as “my little circle of wealthy friends and yes-men.”

      • canoebum

        By leader he means the HQIC.

    • HadenoughBS

      A gay community he recently described in the press as being composed of “cheapskates” and “freeloaders” off which his commercial enterprises make no profit. Yeah, THAT community!

      • John30013

        Actually, I think that was his buddy Ian who called us cheapskates. But I suspect Mati and Ian are birds of a feather….

    • Gerry Fisher


      He doesn’t really lead. He “funds” things.

      • Cuberly

        I’m trying to figure out how his latest is supposed to get butts in their bar stools.

        Not exactly an inviting overture.

      • Chuck in NYC

        He’s possibly been listed among the “honorary committee” of some fundraisers. That usually means you expend not much more energy organizing than writing a check and sometimes showing up at an event for the cocktails and entertainment. I’m not putting people down who do just that, but I think even the clear-headed people who DO just that would classify themselves more as good works donors rather than good works leaders.

        I’ve been in New York 30 years and I like to think that I keep up, but his is a name that’s never registered with me until a few weeks ago. And, of course, not in a positive way.

        • gznyc


    • Is “community” a euphemism?

  • bkmn

    Typical A List gay response. Screw them and their businesses.

  • Treg Brown

    “Yet, in our community, as in so many others, the most WEALTHY often dominate the conversation.”

    FIFY asshole.

    • clay

      “these attacks do not represent the rich culture” read as culture of the rich

  • delk

    Sounds like Mat with an i read Guy Benson’s new book (or more likely had somebody summarize it for him).

    You can state over and over that you are a longtime leader of the community all you want, but honestly, I had no idea, or cared for that matter, who the fuck you are. I do know that forever you will be branded by your sheer stupidity and tone deafness.

    Hope the bed you made is comfy.

  • Puckfair52

    I am a longtime leader of my community.

    Dear heart believe us, your not?

  • clay

    those “who demand inclusion” doesn’t sound so extreme for a democracy.

  • millers3888

    Whatever I really don’t care anymore. We have bigger fish to fry. I still got personal beef with Reisner though..

  • AndyinChicago

    Claims he’s trying to generate dialogue are laughable. To quote the lyrics to Smackwater Jack, “You can’t talk to a man with shotgun in his hand.” That’s Cruz in a nutshell.

    • LovesIrony

      also, “you can’t talk to a man when he don’t want to understand”

  • Tigernan Quinn

    Neither of these two alleged human beings appear to know what an apology is and how it works.

    • Dagoril

      To incorrectly quote Leona Helmsley, “Only the little people make apologies.”

  • Jim in MN

    Maybe you should just raise the price of drinks at your charitable gay bar? Roll on with the crazy disconnectedness, Weiderpass. You can’t buy silence or stifle opinions with insults.

  • shellback

    There are none so blind as those who will not see.

  • MBear

    still not getting it

  • Gustav2

    Mostly it is because you are stupid rich. Cruz and his father don’t give a shit about Israel except for the Jews to rebuild the Temple to force the Second Coming, then all the Jews burn forever. Not only do you ignore this, but you give money to the very bigots who make laws to oppress gays.

    • Todd20036

      Frankly, hell seems like an ok place if it means none of the Christ eaters are there.

  • I almost wish I weren’t dull and old – this is going to be a fascinating summer in the Pines…

    • The Milkman

      Or perhaps an unusually quiet one.

  • Old Fart in VA

    You’d think with all her money that she wouldn’t have gone to Facelifts ‘R’ Us for all that work.

    • shellback

      Are you saying it was even worse before the work?

  • NMNative

    Mati; Just take a look at all the responses on this website to your statement. It’s pretty obvious that the gay community does not support you, even a little bit. And the Joe My God community has it all, rich gays, poor gays, butch dykes, lip stick lesbians, gay parents, little twinks, leather boys, et al. And guess what? We all think you’re a low life asshole who betrayed his community. So, please, don’t come crying to us about how misunderstood you are. Learn from your mistakes instead of trying to excuse them.

  • Mark

    Completely and totally delusional and void of any moral fibre.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    Loser. Money or no money, still a Loser.
    Just stamp an L on that forehead and be done with it already.

  • Steven Alan Taylor

    You didn’t have a conversation with him. You raised money for him. Ask me how we oughta feel if that same Jewish businessman was caught raising funds for a National Socialist in his home.

  • Elaygee

    Said just like a Kapo in a concentration camp.

  • Elliottt

    For all you here who think it’s OK to boycott our “community leader’s” business just because he chooses fundraise for a huge anti gay bigot….
    It is. Carry on.

    • There are none so entitled in our culture than the rich. They really think they are owed loyalty and admiration just for showing up. How dare we boycott something? It’s my money. I’ll spend it wherever I damn well please.

      • popebuck1

        That offends them because it reminds them that they don’t control ALL the money in the world yet.

  • Justin

    Y’all haven’t learned a thing, Mati. Shutting up and slinking off to the background would be your best option at this point.

  • Sam_Handwich
  • cminca

    More changing the point of the meeting, more rationalizations, more justifications. He’s just protecting his assets.
    Sell out your LGBT interests now Mati—cause the value will continue to drop as long as your and Ian’s names are attached to them.

  • buckguy

    The Observer? That means even the NY Post didn’t want to be identified with this guy.

  • millers3888

    I’m playing devils advocate, per usual, but I think it’s dishonest to say this was a “fundraiser”. Saying it was doesn’t make it so. Did they donate any money to Cruz or not? All evidence points to no. So is the criticism just that they sat down with Cruz for dinner? If that’s what pisses us off, then the right will use that attitude against us. That being said I do know Reisner has donated to far right Republicans in the past, but is that the situation here? Should we not accept Weiderpass apology?

    • Todd20036

      What apology? “I’m sorry if anyone was offended” is not an apology where I am sitting.

      • millers3888

        Go to his facebook. He has been apologizing profusely. Again, if this WAS a fundraiser, that’s different. But I don’t think it was. I’m willing to move on, he’s certainly learned his lesson. Weiderpass has donated more money to pro-LGBT causes than any of us I’m sure.

        • goofy_joe

          So money is the only important thing? I thought you were just playing Devil’s Advocate, but you’re still pursuing…which tells me you’re not taking the contrary position just for the sake of discussion.

          • millers3888

            It’s not the only important thing, but they have done a lot of good work for our community. That’s all null and void because they had Cruz for dinner? No evidence of a fundraiser. If that’s all it takes for us to boycott gays who donate money to our causes, that’s pathetic.

          • goofy_joe

            If a doctor stabbed a patient, just so he could be the hero who stitched him up, would you be able to forgive the heinous act for the heroic one?

          • millers3888

            I’m not following your analogy. You seem to be more angry with Weiderpass than with Cruz.

          • LovesIrony

            you seem to be more angry with us than with cruz

          • goofy_joe

            Weiderpass met with Cruz, who has no intention of being a help to the Gay community, and further has said he would do things to pull us back from the progress we have made = the doctor stabbing the patient.

            If Cruz as President keeps us down and unequal, then Weiderpass can swoop in, donate money, and continue to be the “leader” he wants to be = stitching up the patient.

            In a way, yes, I am more upset with him. At least Cruz is open about his disdain for our community, Weiderpass is not. Although he’s becoming more open about his disdain with that sorry excuse of an “apology”.

          • oikos

            Yes, vociferously anti gay Ted Cruz, who is running for Prez and needs cash, just visited for a ‘dialogue.’ Right.

          • millers3888

            Where is evidence Weiderpass gave Cruz cash? Again, saying it doesn’t make it so. You are more pissed with Weiderpass than you are with Cruz.

          • LovesIrony

            you’re more pissed at us than at cruz

          • millers3888

            I’m chronically pissed at Cruz, but I don’t think attacking Weiderpass is helping our community in any way. When I make the case, I’m blasted for it.

          • oikos

            Weiderpass is a kapo and deserves no respect for giving those who want us dead or imprisoned any modicum of credibility.

          • Ray Butlers

            You are not making a case. That’s the problem here. You are arguing from ignorance (look it up). You are also making it all about YOU. You just called yourself a victim. That’s ludicrous.

          • oikos

            I think both are pieces of shit. But I know Cruz hates us. When a quisling who claims to be part of our community works against us, then yeah, I’m pissed.

          • BudClark

            What, precisely, HAVE they done? Documentation, please?

        • LovesIrony

          he just unapologized

          • millers3888

            He is explaining himself, for the hundredth time. Do you think we would have gotten this far politically by not talking to our opponents?

          • LovesIrony

            We have gotten this far by holding people accountable for being anti-gay not by sucking up to bigots.

          • millers3888

            Were you there for the discussion? How do you know they were sucking up?

          • LovesIrony

            he’s a homophobic bigot, they’re smiling with their arms around him.

          • millers3888

            Wow. If you boycotted people who had dinner with people you disliked, you’d be boycotting a lot..

          • LovesIrony

            I boycott whomever I chose like you defend whomever you chose even the most antigay bigots out there

          • Ray Butlers

            Whatever it takes, babe.

          • Reality.Bites

            Well then gosh, he sure as fuck doesn’t need you to speak for him, does he?

          • oikos

            Our opponents all filed briefs against us in the SCOTUS case or in Cruz’s case introduced anti gay legislation. So NO we have not talked to our opponents, we have won legal victories against them. None of them have changed their minds.

        • Paula

          Mati, is that you?

    • lymis

      They didn’t “just sit down to dinner,” they hosted a gala with him as a main attraction, and made sure everyone knew about it.

      And I agree, I’ve seen nothing resembling an apology. Just petulant whinings that we’re not shutting up and coughing up the money like good little peons.

      • millers3888

        Okay – and what business is that of yours? Weiderpass has donated thousands to pro-gay causes. How much have you donated?

        • LovesIrony

          go suck ted cruz’s dick

          • millers3888

            Lovely. So glad to see my community engage in such a meaningful discussion.

          • Reality.Bites

            You’re not part of our community.

          • millers3888

            Wow. If that’s how it is, I don’t want to be part of it. Such close minded gays.

          • Part to the Lady

            I think we have a troll.

          • Reality.Bites

            Minds are CLOSED, not CLOSE, you ignorant twat.

            Or in your case, empty.

        • As a percentage of my disposable income? WAY more than he has.

        • timncguy

          and they have both held fundraisers for other anti-gay right-wing politicians and endorsed them as well. So, this incident with Cruz didn’t happen in a vacuum. It’s one of many. Are you sure you’re playing devil’s advocate? Or, maybe you’re just an advocate???

    • oikos

      No, we should not accept his apology since it is obviously insincere and he is a homocon.

      • millers3888

        There are gay conservatives, gay Christians. So what? They’re still a part of the LGBT community.

        • oikos

          If they work against the rights of the greater community, then no they are not part of that community. Last I knew Ron Johnson and Ted Cruz were not working towards securing our civil equality.

          • Reality.Bites

            No more a part of our community than Charles Manson is just another Californian or, for that matter, even part of the prison community.

          • millers3888

            But we can try and change their minds. Show we are more than just men who have anal sex. We are productive members of society, and in Weiderpass’s case, very successful.

          • oikos

            You are beyond naive if you believe that someone like Cruz will ever be supportive of our rights. I don’t plan on having dialogue with someone who thinks I am an abomination and that my relationship with the person I love should be illegal.

          • millers3888

            Okay, do don’t have a dialogue with them. They’ll retain their preconceived notions of us while we blast Weiderpass.

          • oikos

            Who cares? We are winning finally in both the courts and court of public opinion. The best thing we can do with the haters is to make sure they cannot retain a shred of legitimacy in arguments, not invite them to dinner and write them checks.

          • Reality.Bites

            Attempting a dialogue with Cruz or millers3888 for that matter, is just a pointless waste of time and effort that could be better spent doing almost anything else.

            P.S., if you’re TRULY a devil’s advocate, tell us what you REALLY believe about the situation.

          • BobSF_94117

            You seem to be suggesting that we’d be more attractive to the conservatives if they saw us as stupid practitioners of anal sex…

    • TC

      It was likely not a “fundraiser” in terms of their collecting money from other folks to have access to the candidate, but there should be no doubt that one does not get a private audience with someone at that level without making a hefty contribution. Why else would Cruz do it?

      • millers3888

        To show some moderate people in the country “Hey! See! I’m not anti-gay! I have dinner with gays!”

        • LovesIrony

          and then announce two anti gay measures on his agenda.

          • millers3888

            Right, we should put our focus on THAT and not on Weiderpass.

          • LovesIrony

            I can focus on both, just like you can support both

      • LovesIrony

        same week he missed voting against Loretta Lynch?

    • raybutlers

      You are not playing the Devil’s Advocate. A Devil’s Advocate is well-versed on the case. You are – instead – Arguing from Ignorance, pretending to be reasonable when in fact you are ignoring the evidence and deflecting responsibility back on the injured parties. You are a classic abuser.

    • CJAS

      And if Cruz said it was a fundraiser? And if reasonable deduction suggests that no senator flies to New York for dinner unless it’s a fundraiser?

  • Todd20036

    Gays aren’t trying to silence you, loser. You do our work for us by not shutting your yap. We will boycott you, and frankly, between us and our allies, you will feel the pinch.
    How you managed to become this wealthy after making such a public relations blunder is beyond me.

    • Sam_Handwich

      exactly…he’s just one more rightwing lunatic claiming he’s being “silenced” while simultaneously running his mouth 24/7

      • Paula

        I know! If you have been silenced then STFU already!

    • Gustav2

      When you little people talk back and interupt your community leaders, you are silencing your betters!!!!!!!!!!

  • lymis

    How, exactly is “You are all completely wrong and are being assholes, and I’m happy to start a dialogue to explain in detail why your opinions are beneath my notice” supposed to heal wounds?

    Oh, right, because the only wounds that matter are HIS.

    Here’s a clue, nimrod. People who actually ARE “long-time leaders of the community” actually expect to be called on it publicly when they do something that shows every indication of being harmful to the community. You’re confusing being a self-appointed leader with being self-appointed aristocracy, where whatever you do is okay and the peons need to know their place.

    Stop trying to spin this as a simple dialogue with Cruz. If you had intended to have a public dialogue, there would have been a record of it. If you intended to have a private dialogue, it wouldn’t have been done publicly. I question whether you discussed anything but the exchange of money and influence. If you claim that you had him there to help him change his public stance on gay equality, prove it. And if so, it didn’t work – so you should be denouncing HIM, not US.

    • Mark

      Agreed. Like Ted Cruz fired up the jet, flew all the way across the country…just to have tea with two high-rise homo’s?

  • Rebecca Gardner

    This was my favorite comment over at the op-ed, “‘I am a longtime leader of my community’ No, you are a privileged Diva
    without a clue what life is like for the rest of us out here in the real world.”

    • cjs

      I was JUST about to point that comment out over here!

    • delk

      And the only people in the comments agreeing with him are homophobes.

      • gznyc

        I gotta see the whole Op Ed…

    • VodkaAndPolitics

      I just want to know who the fuck is advising these guys. I’ve never seen a bigger PR Trainwreck.

      • Ken

        R. Couri Hay, a certifiable train wreck himself.

  • 1) No one has silenced him. If he had a decent PR person and listened to them he’d shut the fuck up, but he hasn’t been silenced which is obvious because HE’S STILL TALKING!

    2) A gay man meeting with a politicians who has proposed anti-gay legislation is not the same as a Jewish man meeting with a Muslim. It’s the same as a Jewish man meeting with a politician who wants to restrict the rights of Jews. But please, keep missing the point as the boycotts continue.

    • Craig Howell

      Like a Jew meeting with Hitler to discuss the Nazi Full Employment Program for 1932.

  • Ninja0980

    The hole he has dug for himself must extend all the way to the earth’s core by now.

    • TampaDink

      His words will cause enough vibration that the hole will begin to fill in itself.

    • Nuff Said

      He is starting to feel the heat.

  • millers3888

    How much money have any of you donated to pro-LGBT causes? Weiderpass has donated thousands. Move on. We’re gay, we don’t harp on these things like Conservatives do. We know when to pick our battles. Ted Cruz is trying to pass anti-gay bills but we instead blast Weiderpass for having him over for dinner with NO evidence of a fundraiser. What the actual fuck?

    • timncguy

      he also had a fundraiser and endorsed anti-gay Sen Ron Johnson(R). The Ted Cruz thing was not a one-time incident for this pair.

    • WNY

      Leave Mati Alone! /s

    • Reality.Bites

      Quickly children, over there on the right you can see an excellent example of the Activity-hidden three-toed troll. Hurry along now. The bus back to school leaves in 45 minutes and there are lots more exotic creatures for us to see in the Internet zoo.

      • Rebecca Gardner

        That is way better than what I was about to post.

      • millers3888

        Guess I can’t be gay and stray from your way of thinking, or else I’m a troll.

        • Tigernan Quinn

          Yes. Thanks for stopping by.

        • Reality.Bites

          You’re a coward who doesn’t want to be forced to stand behind your own words. That is why you’re a troll.

        • The Milkman

          Sure you can be gay and support those who oppose equal rights for LGBT people. They’re either called “ex-gays” or “homocons”. Go ahead and support them. But expect it to cost you in the gay community. We don’t need to put up with that kind of hypocrisy, not even those who would count themselves among our own.

    • oikos

      We donate according to what we are able to afford. If I had more, I would give more. I also don’t stick a knife in the back of my community. FAIL.

      • GreatLakeSailor


        A workin’ cuss worth in total $100,000.00 that tosses a twenty to the local shelter is 4x more generous than a billionaire that donates $50k on a big cardboard check in front of cameras and praise, yet the billionaire will not alter a single aspect of her/his life, while the working person will likely buy a few less drinks or cod instead of tuna that week.

        The notion that billionaires are generous is ludicrous.

    • Tigernan Quinn

      We also don’t get to tell other gays what they should and should not care about – I don’t care how much money you give to a cause, that suddenly makes you a gay rights leader? No, you’re an opportunist, and everything they’ve done since then has proven that they don’t get it, so don’t tell me that they ever did,

    • zhera

      Umm, the ones who are harping on this are Weiderpass and Reisner. If they’d keep their mouths shut we wouldn’t be commenting on this article now.

      And I don’t care HOW much money they’ve donated to Gay Rights. Helping Cruz in any way deletes anything they’ve done for the good side.

      If you fall down and someone helps you up, should they be allowed to knock you down again? Would you say ‘Oh, but he was so nice and helped me get up, so that’s ok!’?

    • fuow

      I’ve donated a few 100K over the years, I’ve also had my nose broken marching for our rights.I’ve also been active in the fight for gay rights since the mid-1970s. I was very active in ACT-UP back when my gay brothers were dying by the thousands.
      And, you know what? I have never claimed to be a”leader” or demanded recognition.
      This man got caught trying to advance anti-gay causes. Period.

      • People4Humanity

        Thank you for your good works and valuable contributions.

      • Jon26

        Thank you.

      • The Milkman

        And I thank you sir.

    • GreatLakeSailor

      over for dinner with NO evidence of a fundraiser.
      Please look up “Citizens United” and “Dark Money”.

    • The Milkman

      Actually, when viewed collectively, we have donated FAR more money and time and votes than these two ever could. Far more. For decades.

      Yes, at one point we’ll move on… but we won’t forget. The boycott of Coors lasted well over a decade, and our community’s concerns over that issue weren’t prolonged by internet/media discussions or heightened by a quite legitimate sense of betrayal. So y’all can just count on there being a stain on these two men’s reputations, just like Ken Mehlman.

      GLBT people, compared to straights, are relatively new to having a spine and using it. It feels good after all this time.

  • teeveedub

    “I hope this op-ed will help heal wounds ….”

    And the best way to heal is to refer to the people who took you to task as “gay extremists.”

  • Greg B.

    He’s just repeating the talking points of anti-gay conservatives. And now those anti-gay conservatives will point to his repeating of their talking points as proof that their talking points are accurate and that their hate is justified.

  • goofy_joe

    I won’t say that I am in tune with everything in the LGBT movement…but I am pretty well aware, and I have never heard of this guy until now. How exactly has he been a “leader” in the community? Simply being rich doesn’t equal leadership.

  • nokkonwud


  • Cosmo Tupper

    FYI. Our perceived intolerance is a direct result of godly intolerance. They are not willing to live and let live so we are not willing to let bigots who seem to think imposing one’s religion is a freedom that must be mandated on all, to live in peace. Imposing one’s beliefs is intolerant. If you want to believe marriage is between one man and one woman, by all means don’t get involved in a same-sex marriage. But DO NOT tell me that my beliefs that ALL loving couples should be allowed to marry is invalid. You get straight married and only support that and I will continue to support the freedom to marry for ALL….even the bigots!

  • Secure

    Ted Cruz took time out to go to NYC, have dinner with two gay guys, and not get any money out it while running for President? Uh huh…..

    “Fundraiser” is a loose term. Did they handover any money to him?

    • Mark

      You s’pose it was just a ‘personal contribution’?

    • Nuff Said

      The event was ‘not a fundraiser’. Riiiight !!!!!!

      “My accountant will call your accountant next week.”

  • Ninja0980

    One more thing, even if the event with Ted Cruz was a simple chit chat, the event held for fellow bigot Senator Ron Johnson (hosted by fellow homocon and traitor Ken Mehlmen) was most certainly a fundraiser.
    LGBT people in WI are already being hurt by having an anti-gay governor and legislator and you apprently want to ensure that continues at the Federal level by supporting Johnson.
    Please go screw yourself loser.

    • GreatLakeSailor

      Even if RoJo never said a word about us Gay Folk, supporting him would still be an act worthy of derision (that goes for Cruz, too).

      Israeli security in their minds always means another Middle East war. Let’s not forget the lies of Bibi’s Warmonger-Palooza Pep Rally and the #47Traitors. (Sad that “Israeli Security” to the right wingers never means good folks like Jewish Voice for Peace.)

      Both these Senators fully embrace and work toward a Theocratic, Warmongering, Police-State, Neo-Feudalist Oligarchy. And they hate Teh Gayz.

  • Duh-David

    If Joe had hosted an evening in his home to speak with Ted Cruz, I would view it as a big step forward for Joe and his causes, because we know Joe and he shares those causes with us daily. So many of us immediately label Mati and Ian as Quislings who are withholding because we do not know them or their causes and we immediately suspect anyone with more money and status than us. They are not “haters,” and I don’t believe deserve a boycott or all of this venom.

    • oikos

      They donated to Ron Johnson and Ted Cruz. Then offered insincere apologies and whined like petulant children when we reject those faux apologies. They get to reap what they have sown

      • Duh-David

        How much did they donate and what did they receive in exchange for those donations?

        • oikos

          We won’t know that for a while as dark money is now untraceable thanks to Right wingers like Cruz on SCOTUS.

        • 2guysnamedjoe

          Are you suggesting Cruz flew into town for free just to sit around one evening and chit-chat with some guys?

          • oikos

            Gay guys, no less.

          • The Milkman

            That seems to be exactly what the apologists are suggesting.

    • LonelyLiberal

      Joe also wouldn’t smokescreen and dodge any questions while simultaneously releasing statements like…that. He’d be up front on what was discussed and, I’m certain, on money changing hands.

      I also calculate Joe’s probability of sitting down with Cruz at near-zero. He doesn’t have the half mil to cough up, but if he did, I’m thinking more would go to the Ali Forney Center than Ted Cruz.

    • zhera

      Their cause is to make money. How can you not know that? Just read their press releases from the time this thing started.
      They’ve gone from ‘omg, I had no idea Cruz was such a bigot’ to ‘Cruz is just like any other politician and y’all are mean extremists who won’t spend your money on my businesses’.

      You’re either too kind, or too naïve. (The third option is that you’re like them.)

  • joeyj1220

    the rich really are different

  • JalapeñoBusiness

    Dialogue? Mary, please. Just a few weeks ago you were claiming you didn’t know anything about Cruz’s stances. Now you are no better than our enemies, claiming victim status and pointing fingers to intolerant Big Gay as your oppressors.

  • Emphasis on “rich culture.”

  • Ish

    Class warfare, it’s a real thing, and this guy is the enemy.

  • Frederick

    “American politicians ( read: Obama ) who are embracing Iran at the expense of Israel…”

    So…along with all the other shitty things you’ve done lately…you’re a fucking liar.

    …( and just whom are these “gay extremists” of which you speak…name names you punk ass bitch MOTHERFUCKER! )

  • TC

    side note: Weiderpass is NOT a partner in the Fire Island Pines properties.

  • fuow

    Well, that’s a good question. I’d welcome a dialog between a Jewish ‘leader’ (whomever that might be) and a Muslim ‘leader’ (whomever that might be) because I know of good people in both religions.
    As for Cruz, he’s on the record for saying things about us which the Nazis would applaud. If a wealthy gay man wants to meet with such a person, OK – just, he shouldn’t be surprised if other gay men find working with the enemy to be objectionable.

  • Jacob

    I keep saying that they also met with WI State Senator Ron Johnson who is more homophobic than Cruz. Johnson also happens to be a rabid supporter of Israeli settlement expansion. This is not a bump in the road, it’s a pattern. The only long time thing WpAss has been a part of is a parade of rich quislings, and he flatters himself to think he was a leader.

  • Jeff

    This guy says it was NOT a fundraiser, but Cruz’s camp is still claiming it WAS a fundraiser. When I hear Weiderpass address that conflict, I take time to listen to him.

    • It was not “officially” a fundraiser. But did any money change hands during or resulting from that event? If so, that to me (and most people) is a fundraiser as all political events are no matter what they are called.

  • MexicoTom

    So essentially he’s still saying we’re hurting his money and it’s gotta stop. Because his money is important. We’re all bad people because some have decided to not give him their money any longer, and to him that’s just not fair. He’s worked real hard for our community, and so we should never ever not give him our money no matter what he says or does. Because he’s a leader.

    Oh, and by calling us gay extremists, he hopes to heal the community.

    Yeah. Just the kind of leader we need.

    • popebuck1

      Ted Cruz is more of a leader for the gay community than this yutz. Certainly Cruz has done more to unify the gay community and spur it to action.

  • Taste the curb, you glass-eyed creep.

    • Ragnar Lothbrok

      Taste the curb 🙂

  • Kyle

    Mr. Weiderpass, you’re already extremely rich. You do not need the approval of the masses. Stop whining.

    • LonelyLiberal

      Except he kind of does. Lose public opinion, lose business. People are also less likely to want to be seen with you or associate with you, which costs contacts. Even the 1% doesn’t like bad press and getting grease on themselves by association.

  • DN

    Freedom of speech *totally* means that when someone says or does something stupid, nobody has any right to say anything about it.


  • JalapeñoBusiness
  • Raising_Rlyeh

    There really can’t be a dialogue on the issue of eual treatment under the law. To do so is to say that there are two sides to this issue when there aren’t. Just like with evolution, there is the side that is correct and the side that should be ignored lest you give it an air of legitimacy.

    Really though a dialogue is quite impossible with people like Cruz. Of course for this millionaire the only dialogue he wants is one that reassures him that he doesn’t have to pay employees above minimum wage.

    • The Milkman

      Exactly this. There is no valid opposing viewpoint when it comes to equal civil and human rights, no matter what book is used to justify it. There is no point in arguing with religious zealots, because they aren’t arriving at their positions through reason. Best to think of those people as the bigoted masses that they are, and just go around them through the courts. It’s the way it’s always been, and sadly, always will be.

  • BobSF_94117

    I hope this op-ed will help heal wounds and continue necessary progress and discussion.

    That’s why I kick off by calling others “extremists”. Only to get their attention, of course.

    It is amazing that my businesses are being boycotted by
    some because I hosted a discussion with an elected official. Not a fundraiser. Not an endorsement. A dialogue. What would we say if the Jewish community organized a boycott of a business leader who hosted a private discussion with an important Muslim politician?

    Well, first of all, a “dialogue” would have been a good thing. If Cruz had shared the dining table with, say, Larry Kramer, that would have been a dialogue (and likely outright food-fight). Your “dialogue” apparently consisted of one poorly thought-out question and one eagerly lapped up non answer.

    You’d be better off just admitting it was all about Israel and all about making Cruz a connection to one of NY’s most influential Jewish businessmen. Probably leading to $$$$ for Cruz later on.

  • DaveMiller135

    I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt about the fundraiser aspect. Something about this one says “we’re calling it a ‘discussion,’ because we know ‘fundraiser’ is a problem.”

    • GreatLakeSailor

      I was gonna say the same thing: OK, so Ian & Mati are settling on the lie that Cruz showed up with no expectation of money coming his way.

      Yeah, that’s totally believable.

      • StraightGrandmother

        Yeah, kind of like Cruz said, “Well I was in the neighborhood so thought I would drop by”

        There is no way these rich guys do not know Ted -shut down the government-Cruz’s extreme anti gay positions.

  • Tom G

    The accomplishment of your “discussion” is laughable. So laughable that Cruz brought forth two anti gay bills within a day or two of your meeting. You chose poorly and I presume you will pay dearly for the stupidity. Also, your apology was slightly more helpful than this rant.

    • TampaDink

      But, but, but….Cruz didn’t introduce ANY legislation opposing Israel…and that is the ONLY issue that Mati & Ian had any clue of Raphael’s stance.
      Now if the cheap, rude, self-entitled faggots would stop pointing fingers at us & get back to patronizing our businesses none of this will matter.

  • Raising_Rlyeh

    “attacks from gay extremists (do I dare say the word?) who demand inclusion, but do not believe in dialogue.”

    Yep, like the gay founders of ACT-UP. Clearly those extremists should have had a peaceful and calm dialogue while the rest of society sat calmly by. Or those civil right’s extremists that boycotted those poor “job creators” in the south in order to get equal rights.

    • zhera

      He’s the next Rosa Parks, dontcha know?!?

      • Nuff Said

        Except he would never be caught riding the bus.

  • Happy Dance

    He looks a little bit on the psycho side!

    • zhera

      He’s got the Fundie Crazy Eyes (TM). and when you read his words, you understand that he’s fully and completely taken over by them.

      • Happy Dance

        I like that (TM) Dx….pretty much spot on!

    • Kissmagrits

      He would complete his look if he’d consult with Donald Trump’s hair person and get a similar gravity-defying comb-over. And cultivate a sneer that’s a little less like a “deer in the headlights”.

  • Mati, if you still don’t realize that giving a demagogue like Ted Cruz any legitimacy whatsoever is harmful to the LGBT community, you seriously need some education. Ted Cruz may support your position on Israel, but is so against your having any rights as a gay man that this completely and totally overshadows his position on Israel. In this case, the “enemy of my enemy” is still an enemy.

  • D. J.

    Longtime community leader? This Neville Chamberlain wannabe?
    Hell’s Kitchen, Fire Island…..which bastion of “cheap tightwad gays” are he and Ian planning to invade next?
    #Deluded Divas

  • 2guysnamedjoe

    “I have been inundated with hateful, biased social media messages, and attacks from gay extremists (do I dare say the word?) who demand inclusion, but do not believe in dialogue. . . . I hope this op-ed will help heal wounds and continue necessary progress and discussion.”
    Reminds me of Eddie Izzard’s take on Prince Philip.

  • Paula

    Oh, Mati! Get over it, we are just not that into you. Now fade back into your little world, where you are a leader, and be quiet.

    • People4Humanity

      “leader” 😖

  • zhera

    Nice dog whistle there, Mati. Last week the gays were ‘cheap’ according to your partner, now they’re extremists because they are boycotting you.

    You will never get the point, because you live in a parallell world where money will make silly problems go away. You use ‘our community’ but fail to understand that your community is not the same as most gay people’s community.

    You refuse to acknowledge why Cruz is so hated and why you’re now seen as a quisling, yet bring out your work for gay rights as a defense. This tells me that you know perfectly well that you’re throwing everyone else under the bus but there’s money to be made for you so fuck it.

    Oh, and the Jew/Muslim thing? FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!

    • LonelyLiberal

      Personally, I’m cheapstremist. Or, extreme about being cheap. It works for me.

  • SoCalVet

    the self-hate in this one is strong.

  • Jean-Marc in Canada

    “I am a longtime leader of my community…”

    The hubris of this singular statement speaks volumes as to this man’s….ahem…..character.

    • GreatLakeSailor

      A legend in his own Mind.

  • D. J.

    Leona Helmsley can now rest in peace. Mati & Ian are picking up where she left off.

    • Octavio

      Where ever you stay in New York live like a couple of “Queens.” Yeah, that’ll bring in the big bucks.

  • Jodie

    So…The LGBT community is a bunch of extremists just because they want the same rights as everyone else? I don’t see too many violent LGBT protests…

  • FAEN

    Man this guy just doesn’t know when to STFU does he? And FYI Mati were very intolerant of intolerance.

  • People4Humanity

    Somewhat tangential to the discussion: In the late 1970s, Coors beer was boycotted by the gay community, due to Joseph Coors’ anti-gay hiring practices [among other right-wing activities]. Although I was raised in Denver, and thought of Coors as “the home-town brew,” nary a drop of their beer has crossed my lips — since the previous millennium.

    Probably it will never matter to Coors that I don’t consume their product. But the overall boycott has had a significant impact on their bottom line. So, there’s that.

    Boycott wound down in late 1980s

    The boycotts had a clear financial impact. In California, where anti-Coors sentiment was high, the company’s share of the state beer market slid from 40 percent in 1977 to 14 percent in 1984. Company profits also dwindled during this time, both to the boycott and increased competition from other breweries.

  • Octavio

    So, the New York Observer isn’t too picky about who they’ll accept as an op-ed contirubtor. I wonder if this lack of journalistic quality pervades the whole organization.

    Next week see their three-part op-ed piece on why all convicted criminals should be issued kittens upon incarceration, written by Charles Manson.

    • GreatLakeSailor

      A posthumous OpEd on business ethics coauthored by Bernie Madoff & Ken Lay.

  • Terry

    Yeah…I wanna invite Ted Cruz to my house…the one he’d rather I not have with the partner he’d forcefully divorce me from

    Why not just invite some Neo Nazis and have tea?

  • TampaDink

    Better to “suffer” from being inundated by gay folks who are attempting to open your fucking eyes to the dangers of courting with the likes of Cruz than to be inundated with the kinds of policies that a Cruz administration would like to impose that would do a whole lot more damage to you, Ian & the rest of us LGBT Americans.

    • Jmdintpa

      his type of person, whether gay or straight, only cares about money.

      • TampaDink

        And if they run out of money they’ll only care about finding a way to make more off of the same people that they continue to insult.

    • GreatLakeSailor

      …the kinds of policies that a Cruz administration would like to impose that would do a whole lot more damage to you, Ian & the rest of us LGBT Americans.

      Mati & Ian have purchased indemnification from damage that us serfs can not afford. They are in zero danger of suffering any substantive damage due to Cruz. Zero.

      I would speculate that under a Warmongering, NeoFeudalist Cruz regime, they would stand to gain, and that is the root of their association.

      Throwing us serf-gays under the bus is simply the price of admission – though they thought it would go less noticed.

      • TampaDink

        Good points. No matter how hard of a right turn our government could possibly take under a Cruz administration, GWM* like Mati & Ian would be a semi-protected class….until their money runs out.
        *GWM=guys with money.

  • The Professor

    Asshole. Why are we “discussing” anything with a simple minded bigot whose single aim is to make sure your community forever remains second class and despised? Dude should be spending every penny fighting this kind of politician. Cruz and his crowd will NEVER be on our side. So they must be defeated. One of the most effective ways to do that is to spend them into the ground. NOT to court them. It’s like asking a black person to have a “meeting” with the KKK.

  • JalapeñoBusiness

    Does anybody use Twitter? There’s a convo going on right now between Brendan Eich, Jeremey Hooper and Zach Ford about Kristen Powers’ new book that accuses the left of silencing free speech. Eich is talking about the early days of the Mozilla revolt in response to questions by Ford and Hooper.

    @BrendanEich @ZackFord @goodasyou

    Very apropos to this post.

    Eich disengages

  • theSaint

    This may be thought of as ‘off topic’ but I thought it was interesting that the story before this one had 22 comments while this tidbit, although posted after, has over 220. Mati, does that tell you anything? I sure hope you read all of the comments, good and bad. Think of it as an expensive learning experience.

  • Queequeg

    If he had any sense, he would just STFU.

  • TheManicMechanic

    Quislings are rather predictable, aren’t they?

  • Oh we doth protest to much Mati, verily, verily so.

  • Jmdintpa

    the only dialogue ted cruz is interested in is shutting your fucking mouth up for good… yet you see fit to have talks with him. your partner calls gays cheap. shut up and go away and use your money to deny the self hate you feel towards you and the gay community.

  • JalapeñoBusiness
  • SFHarry

    I wish there was some way of having an interview that could ask the questions we want to hear rather than a bunch of prepared statements.
    For instance, just because someone says they are a leader in the Gay community that doesn’t mean they are. Being rich does not mean leader. Bringing the gay community forward and helping us obtain equality does.
    Also, I don’t think the meeting alone spurred the anger and boycott. The idea that support can be thrown Cruz’s way lends credence to the mistrust of where our gay dollars will go if we spend them on Weiderpass’s properties.
    finally, taking a smiling picture with Cruz makes it seem like he doesn’t say the most hateful things about our community. He’s not just some run of the mill guy on the street he is a vocal mouthpiece for our demise.

    • Reality.Bites

      Asking them doesn’t require people to answer them. Remember the Indiana governor on their hate legislation with George Stephanapoulos?

      • SFHarry

        That is true. They don’t have to answer but just as in the example you point out when people don’t answer, people remember AND know what the real answer is.

        • LovesIrony

          answer: George

  • Eebadee-eebadee-thatsallfolks

    Mati is clueless. Just for starters…

    1) He’s making the equation gay:Ted Cruz::jewish:muslim leader, when a more honest equation would be gay:Ted Cruz::jewish:Hezbollah leader

    2) Please! To paraphrase Myrtle Snow in AHS Coven, “Really, Fiona. You owe everybody a better lie than that.” Nobody in the world, not even Mati, really believes that a Texas GOP senator was up in NY meeting with wealthy gay hoteliers just to “have a dialogue.” But let’s accept that lie and just to be sure, let’s get real and effective campaign finance reform and reporting laws, and overturn Citizens United. That will clear up any misunderstandings people might have about these “dialogues”.

    3) People are free to shop where they want. That’s the free market. And the activists and bloggers who reported his “dialogue” with Cruz to consumers also have freedom of speech, and possibly freedom of the press.

  • Toasterlad

    Until you adequately explain why Ted Cruz would attend ANY event at your home for free, you can continue to fuck right off, Aunt Tom.

  • John Ruff

    You gays in Manhattan are just awful (this is meant to be directed at the super wealthy white dickheads who think they speak for all of us.) You fuckers need to just not tell anyone you’re gay because you certainly don’t represent the average gay person. You’ll never have to suffer or struggle in your lives so just keep to yourselves and enjoy your privileged lives. Like I always say: New York is a myth, unless you’re a billionaire.

  • HowardMcDonald

    I’m in the minority here, but I agree with Weiderpass and am not supporting this boycott. The nasty messages directed toward these guys and complete unwillingness to hear other points of view I’ve read here and on Facebook remind me of the worst excesses and tactics of the Christian Right or the Tea Party. They’ve said over & over it wasn’t a fundraiser for Cruz; I have no choice to but to believe them. Weiderpass did indeed help end Don’t Ask Don’t Tell through his working with SLDN and meetings with conservative politicians. As far as I’m concerned, the initial mission of this boycott was achieved with the initial outcry and apologies issued – point made. I’m not sure what the endgame of a boycott here is, especially when it applies to Fire Island. Boycotting the businesses out there will not just hurt the owners, it will do collateral damage to the entire community, including the young people who depend on the place for the bulk of their yearly income. As a longtime Pines resident, I support the Pines above all else. If you indeed do not want to patronize the businesses out there, by all means go somewhere else. We don’t need the negativity in what can be a paradise.

    Also, while this controversy has taken a life of its own and blown up into a huge mountain out of a molehill, I know for a fact that the boycott was started with people who have a personal vendetta against Ian Reisner unrelated to this, and are interested in forcing Reisner to sell the Pines property at a deep discount to the previous owner, who wants the property back. Not exactly standing on high moral ground.

    Ironically, the one person in this to remain above it all is Cruz. He doesn’t care, and he’s already used this incident as ammunition to show his supporters how, yet again, intolerant the gays fascists are. He’s letting gays tear each other apart while his Teavangelical supporters remain united against us. One the eve of perhaps the biggest gay rights victory in history, this doesn’t seem the time for this.

    • StraightGrandmother

      Are you copying and pasting this same comment all over the internet? I’m sure I have read your same comment on Joe.My.God previously. Are you paid by the word or just a straight up contract for X number of days?

      • HowardMcDonald

        No, this is my first comment StraightGrandmother (by the way I really enjoy your comments, keep it up).

    • Reality.Bites

      If you’re a longtime pines resident, why are all your comments up to now on Canadian right-wing websites about Canadian issues?

      • HowardMcDonald

        Huh? Don’t know what you’re talking about here.

    • JalapeñoBusiness

      The boycott would be directed to the business owned by R/W so how would that cause problems for you or Fire Island / Pines area? Do they own everything out there? Applying that logic, they would cause their own demise by alienating their customer base.

      • HowardMcDonald

        The Facebook boycott page says, “Boycott Out Hotel and Fire Island Pines Businesses” because Reisner bought the major interest in the Pines downtown.

        • JalapeñoBusiness

          Well then, he’s more akin to Marie Antoinettte than a savvy business man. Let him eat Brioche a Tête. The FI / P businesses should advertise themselves as NOT Reisner owned / connected.

    • MexicoTom

      To call on every gay person to agree on an issue is crazy and defeats the idea of diversity, even within one’s own community. And to assume that what some write on the internet is indicative of all gay minds is fairly naive. It’s true that a LOT of people are angry with these two, and with good reason. If they choose to boycott, it’s their prerogative. But to wag a finger at them and suggest what they’re doing is spoiling things for everyone else is ridiculous.

      I don’t know either of the two businessmen here, but their continually changing response to a fiasco of their own doing is only further damaging their reputation.

      There is no single gay mind. There is no single gay opinion on any matter, just like there’s no single straight opinion on any matter. I hate it when people try and tell us that we should all agree on something. It ain’t gonna happen.

      • HowardMcDonald

        “But to wag a finger at them and suggest what they’re doing is spoiling things for everyone else is ridiculous” – they are, if they seriously boycott the Pines. That’s a very small community with very few businesses, not Wal-Mart. Boycotting the Pines hurts the businesses, employees, and homeowners. And it’s not going to last anyway; the summer will get in full swing and people are going to go there. This will pass. Also, you say there is no “single gay mind”- yet the boycott supporters and majority of commenters seem to want there to be a single gay mind on this issue. Many gays support diversity as long as they agree with them, but in reality they don’t actually tolerate other points of view.

        • Dreaming Vertebrate

          ^^ Rightwing troll.

          • HowardMcDonald

            I’m not a right wing troll, believe me. I’m so liberal I’m almost a socialist. But I just don’t agree with this. If you resort to name calling it proves you’re not interested in other POVs.

          • JalapeñoBusiness

            The problem is you seem to be disagreeing with this based on a spoiling everyone’s fun basis or damage to your own interest basis instead of a spoiling everyone’s civil rights basis. This is exactly what MW is doing.

          • Paula

            Have you met Bill?

    • The Milkman

      Mr. Reisner’s continued toxic presence is the thing that’s making the Pines less of the paradise that it could be. He and Wiederpass’ pattern of funneling money and influence to dangerously bigoted politicians is part of the problem. Those are the people who made it necessary for gay men to flee to that little island in order to be themselves all those many decades ago. I think Fire Island is an historically and culturally important place for GLBT people, but I’m not willing to spend money there when I know that it’s going to hurt not only my civil rights, but those of every other gay American. As much as I value Fire Island and its place in our history, it’s not even close to being worth it.

      Bigotry isn’t a molehill. Betrayal of one’s community is not a molehill. Entitled lashing out at your customer base is not a molehill. If the business owners on Fire Island are worried, which by the tone of your statement they clearly are, then they need to take their concerns to Mr. Reisner rather than tell people to just simmer down and keep buying shares and cocktails.

      The impending “biggest gay rights victory in history”… which is dubious… was not won because people decided to tolerate the intolerance of the religious fanatics among us. It’s because we kept shouting, kept bitching, kept being outraged, kept canvassing, kept working, kept singing and protesting and crying and striving and forcing the issue when it wasn’t polite or expedient. Over and over and over and over we did this. You know this, if you’re of the age I’m guessing. “The time for this” is every time. Every single time. We owe our continued outrage to those who came before, and to those who didn’t make it long enough to hear the rulings that made our lives better despite the will of the mob.

      I for one am delighted to see some righteous indignation among us. I’m never more proud of my people than when we protest and stand up for ourselves and for what’s right.

  • Ginger Snap

    Keep talking then. You’re just going to insult more of the community whose money you want.

  • 2karmanot

    Don’t cry me a river honey, your pity pot is pure gold.

    • GreatLakeSailor

      Crimea River is more than just a tributary to the Black Sea!

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    Entitled quisling WeinerLass is just begging for a total boycott!
    What an embezzle! What an utramaroon.

  • Harley

    His idea of an extremist is anybody NOT a log cabin republican

  • KnownDonorDad

    I totally believe that the meeting with Cruz was just a dialogue. Because that’s what politicians do during primaries, right? Lots of meetings that raise zero money with people from a group they regularly condemn to get support. Seems like an airtight explanation to me, what’s all the fuss?

    • JalapeñoBusiness

      If Cruz wasn’t literally calling for us to be loaded onto the trains perhaps, but just how far does self respect have to drop until we object?

  • lattebud

    I am convinced his PR team is some very wise member or allies of the LGBT community that sit around over coffee and think,”What should we to them to do next to further derail their money grabbing empire?”

  • Mark

    “Not a fundraiser. Not an endorsement.”

    ******I told ya !! *******I told ya !! *******I told ya !! ******
    Ted was there to suck dick! Plain and simple. He flew all the way cross the country just to suck some rich, uptight, diva dick. Didn’t even ask for gas money.

    Uh, Matty. The “most vocal” you are hearing are from those calling you out on your gawd-damned blatant lie.

    “What would we say if the Jewish community organized a boycott of a business leader who hosted a private discussion with an important Muslim politician?”

    That doesn’t hold much water. I haven’t heard anything from the “Jewish Community” about Pam Geller’s baiting of Muslim extremists.

  • StuckNtexas

    We’re boycotting your businesses for your bullshit, plain & simple, or are you too self-absorbed to even comprehend that?

  • canoebum

    Mati has a drunk tattoo. Unfortunately for him, he was drunk on power and the tattoo is a big L on his forehead. Good luck getting rid of it.

    • Daniel

      Wait…he’s a Lesbian? »confuzzed«

  • Cuberly
  • BaddogLtd

    “So I had a meeting with Ted Cruz and was so proud I posted a picture of it on my Facebook page. Afterwards Ted had to dash back to Washington to introduce TWO bills that would allow states to prohibit Same Sex Marriage. What’s the big deal?”

  • Oh, I see the eyes aren’t just a coincidence. He really is batshit.

  • James

    That is a false equivalence. A more apt comparison would be between a prominent gay businessman inviting a rapidly homophobic politician for a “private discussion” and a Jewish businessman inviting an important neo-Nazi leader for a “private discussion.”

  • JoeNCA

    A “discussion” so fruitful, Cruz ran back to Washington and proposed two new anti-gay laws.

  • GreatLakeSailor

    In an ornate, hand-carved, coca bola inbox on the corner of Mati’s antique mahogany desk, an envelope appears, unsolicited, from a large, experienced PR firm. Mati, considering opening it, scans the return address and sees this logo:

    Advice done right.

  • Randy

    Some people who won’t be silenced should simply stop talking.

  • TampaDink

    Time wounds all heels. Mati & Ian are heels in desperate need of wound care but refuse to acknowledge that the first step to healing a wound is to stop picking at it.

  • uhhuhh

    He can go fuck himself.

  • Daniel

    Keep talkin’! You’re helpin’!

  • bambinoitaliano

    I don’t he believe he ever shut up.

  • franklinb23

    I asked this before but never got an answer.

    Dan Savage invited Brian Brown to dinner at his house … with his partner and children present … to discuss and debate homosexuality.

    Brian Brown has since become even more opposed to gay rights than before. Let me remind you that Brown is not a politician with a large platform. He has ONE platform only: to fight marriage equality.

    Should Savage be boycotted as well or not?

    • Reality.Bites

      Try not asking a stupid, trolling question and you might receive an answer.

      You see the thing is, franklinb23, if you actually believe the two situations are even remotely comparable, you’re just too fucking stupid for anyone to bother with.

      You’re actually too fucking stupid to scrape off my shoe if I accidentally step in you.

      • franklinb23

        Wow! Someone’s angry!

        I just love how the gay community eats itself when someone dissents from Outrage, Inc or even tries to dialogue with someone who dissents.

    • Sean in Dallas

      I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say you didn’t get an answer because the two are nowhere near the same situations you think they are.
      The Dan/Bryan dinner was from its inception a debate about gay rights. And everyone knew about it.
      The Mati/Rafael clusterf*ck was not advertised. It wasn’t to discuss gay rights or even to try to persuade Cruz to a different way of thinking about gay rights. It was to discuss Israel. And possibly to raise funds for Cruz.
      How anyone could conflate the two, I have no idea.

      • franklinb23

        Possibly a fundraiser? It either was or was not.

        Are you saying that the only consideration a gay person can have is gay marriage and that everything (even concerns about Israel) pale into insignificance in favor of civil marriage for what will amount to a negligible percentage of the gay community (given the statistics on Grindr)?

        • HomerTh

          Is that you Ian? Or is this Mati?

    • Nuff Said

      Yes, you asked the question before and I posted a rebuttal. For your convenience, I provide the link here:

      And now I will cut-and-paste my response from the previous post:

      “The two events are not comparable.

      First, Dan Savage did not host a political or fundraising event for Brian Brown or NOM. Brian Brown complained incessantly that our side did not want to debate, but only wanted to shut down all discussion. Savage was calling his bluff on that point.

      Secondly, Savage invited him to dinner in his home without an extensive audience, only someone to video the event for the record. He engaged in genuine discussion of the issues, knowing full well that there would not be total agreement. Brown insulted and denigrated our side of the issue until Savages husband had enough and threw him out on his ear.

      Thirdly, after the event, Savage reported on the event in all its ugliness. He was not supporting NOM and he did not have to try to lie his way out of his transgressions because there were none.”

  • chris10858

    Would we blame Jewish groups for protesting against a wealthy Jewish person who met with an anti-semite or a neo-nazi fanatic? Probably not. Why then are we expected to tolerate those politicians (or their supporters) who would work to persecute LGBT folks, if given the chance?

    • franklinb23

      Not so long ago, the majority of voters opposed same-sex marriage … by wide margins in some places. That tide is turning.

      How did we change so many minds, do you suppose? By suing them into the ground, refusing to even talk with them and labeling them as Nazis?

      The self-righteousness here is pretty astounding coming from folks who condemn the “Pharisees” of the Religious Right.

      • The Milkman

        We certainly didn’t change minds by funneling money and influence to rabid homophobes. We won first by coming out in big numbers which started a change among our families and friends, then by courting moderates and those in the middle, then by slowly establishing homophobic hatred as a possibly biblically justifiable but no longer socially acceptable bias. It had nothing to do with trying to reason religious wackos out of positions they didn’t reason themselves into in the first place.

  • Jim

    “I know in my heart that these attacks do not represent the rich culture–and I’m rich so I ought to know–the rich culture of entitlement and deference to me that I expect and deserve from all you little gays who can go fuck yourselves for all that I really care about you. I am your leader. I appointed myself to that position and I deserve it. Don’t like it? Die. Leave me alone. But patronize my businesses. Your money matters to me. I want it to be my money. Have a good day.”

  • “I will not be silenced” said the man who has been quoted in the news almost every day.

  • um, why do people have such a hard time picking “it’s just like ….” scenarios that actually are “just like” the thing they are bitching about? i see he’s also kind of a prejudice dick when it comes to muslims . perhaps if a jewish group complained that an entitled out of touch jewish couple hosted a dialog with david duke, he would have a better comparison.

  • JCF

    “What would we say if the Jewish community organized a boycott of a business leader who hosted a private discussion with an important Muslim politician”

    This was NOT a “private discussion”! All the rest of it, feh, not going there…

  • gznyc

    An interesting page to find out where people personally contribute money: – for all the millions being made, I’m not seeing that much “leadership”

  • Johnny Wyeknot

    You can’t pretend that your discussion with Raphael advanced our cause, can you?