SNL Takes On Scientology

Have you seen Going Clear?

  • Todd20036

    As bad as Scientology is, it doesn’t hold a candle to the harm Christianity has done in general and the Catholic Church has done specifically.

    That being said, that cult is so easy to mock.

    • bambinoitaliano

      That’s because there’s only so many A-List closeted gay men to recruit. There are way more stupid people in the world.

      • Robincho

        Your allegations are positively travolting…

        • 2karmanot

          Cruise’ing for the perfect ingram.

    • Strepsi

      True — even the stories about missing Scientologists pales in comparison to the mass grave the nuns made at a single Irish orphange, filled with 800 DEAD BABIES…
      http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/jun/3/mass-grave-800-children-found-near-irish-home-unwe/

      …never mind every other city in every other country where this criminal pedophilia and child-abuse organization runs its cons.

      • Todd20036

        I read about that. It’s stories like this that make me think the injustices of Scientology are small potatoes.

        • Dramphooey

          And we need to make certain they stay small potatoes.

          • 2karmanot

            Pom de terrors

        • Robincho

          Scroll back to the Ireland of 1845, and then ask yourself, “How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?”
          (Answer: “None.”)

      • james_from_cambridge

        Let’s not also forget the horror-show that is modern day Islam as well. I’m not talking about ISIL and the extremists; I’m talking about the “less” extreme worshipers, thousands of whom kill, beat or maim their own family members every year for being gay, being raped or dishonoring their family somehow (I guess because if you were raped you somehow wanted it?) And the countries like Saudi Arabia, Iran, Qatar and the UAE that jail us for being gay (I guess we should be thankful they’re not executing us like ISIL), not to mention the serious free speech issues in Islamic countries, issues that are being exported to Europe. Both American Evangelism and Catholicism are indeed a nightmare but a nightmare that can’t touch Islam, which seems to be undergoing some sort of psychosis.

    • Estrafalario

      Only because one religion has been around for 30 years while the other has been around for centuries. Give it time.

      • DaveDocSC

        That’s the key…. They have only been around spreading their insanity for 30 years. In a thousand years or so their con will get as vile as the xtians…

    • ExGayTherapyKills

      A crazy Christian lawyer in Orange County California wants to kill the gays and their allies, seems the anti gay Christian cult has them beat.

    • Rambie

      Give it time, Scientology hasn’t been around as long as Christianity.

      • given the criminal activities of $cientology, imagine what they’d have done if they’d ever actually taken over a state government or a country? I think they’d have given the other religions a good run for their money for worst atrocities ever. Even in what is suppose to be a free country with human rights they were allowed to illegally detain people, drug them, threaten and harass them and keep on doing it no matter how many news stories or police reports were filed against them. it’s taken decades to get to the point that anyone dared take them on this strongly and that only happened because a number of high profile people have been leaving the church and denouncing it.

        • RFW

          Remember when the Rajneeshees took over Antelope, Oregon?

          That did NOT work out well for them.

    • LookielouE1707

      Yeah, you need to weigh the harm a movement has done relative to how much harm it’s capable of doing – how much power it wields. Communism, for example, is responsible for incredible atrocities, but in context is far from the world’s baddest villain – if you put the combined military, political and economic strength of the world’s Communist powers in the hands of various religious fanatics and assorted tyrants from history, they’d have left literally nobody alive on the planet. Similarly if you put, say, the power of the Catholic Church in the hands of Scientologists, the latter would likely be much worse.

      I’ll take the counterargument a step further: Christianity, harmful as it has been in certain contexts, also has produced good because most of the people responsible for creating its canon were well-meaning, if not entirely clear-thinking, people with a bona fide interest in doing good. Scientology, on the other hand, created ex nihilo as a moneymaking scheme, has no socially redeeming features.

    • 2karmanot

      Second only to virgin births and cannibal Mass

    • CottonBlimp

      Funny you bring that up. I was just remembering, watching this, that SNL will make fun of a cult, but when it came to the Catholic church raping children they pussied out and came to the defense of the RCC.

      People’s deeply held beliefs only ever seem to matter when there’s a lot of those people.

  • TommyTune

    After watching “Going Clear” I really don’t see how Scientology can survive much longer. Now that all its lies have been exposed that house of cards should come tumbling down sooner rather than later, I would imagine, as should what’s left of Tom Cruise’s and John Travolta’s tattered reputations.

    • Polterguest

      I don’t know. I think the core believers will just stand firm and ignore anything “negative” coming from the “outside.” Just like with any other cult or religion. The Mormons, Catholics, Jehovah’s Witnesses. They all fall apart if you use facts, logic, history, etc. But to the believers facts are lies.

    • Strepsi

      Sadly, you’re probably wrong: because human brains are incredibly perverse when it comes to stubbonrnness, self-delusion, arrogance, and confirmation bias.

      The more evidence comes out, the stronger the core believers’ beliefs will become.

      There were just a series of studies done on ANTI-VAXXERS, to see how best to reach them: correcting the autism myth, showing the risks, or showing a true story of the consequences of getting thse deadly diseases. To the researchers’ surprise, NONE of the methods worked at all. The more direct the evidence that their beliefs were harmful, the stronger their beliefs became! :-O

      http://www.motherjones.com/environment/2014/02/vaccine-denial-psychology-backfire-effect

      • Dramphooey

        They are being asked to do what very few humans will do. Admit that they are wrong.

        • RFW

          I’ve learned in my years online that if you don’t know the answer to a question, say “I don’t know”. And if it turns out you were wrong about something, just admit it.

          People with frail egos can commit neither of those acts.

    • Gustav2

      After watching “Clear” you should know they have enough money to survive on just a few folks for a century.

      • Grumpelstiltskin

        They say they have enough money to survive for a century.

        Color me very skeptical. Of course, that little fuckweasel Miscavige (Miss Cavidge??) is as money mad as any anti-gay hater (hello Maggie) so I may be wrong-o.

        Miscavige is very sensitive about his height, btw. (He’s a short little pipsqueak.) So he wears lifts in his shoes and stands on a box behind the podium to look taller.

        Shorty Miscavige, they should call him.

  • Belthazar

    I watched this weekend and after watching, I’m hard pressed not to see cult comparisons. Hiring PIs to go after former members, and to do it with such glee, is shocking especially in the name of “religion”.

  • Strepsi

    For those of you here in CANADALAND — this one is not geo-blocked …and it’s hilarious!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WQwca7Pu8Q

    • bryan

      And the original is almost as funny…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyNh1j3dsp8

      • Octavio

        The second one — the original one — is too fucking spooky! Run away! Run away! They’re coming! Run away! :-0

    • Canadian Observer

      Thanks for finding and sharing … damn geo-blocking.

  • Dean Cameron

    Who do I send money to?

    • John (not McCain)

      It’s “To whom do I send money?” The answer is me. I’m afraid my bank won’t allow me to deposit anything under five figures.

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        I will deposit any amount at anytime for any reason whatsoever.

        #ImaLowDollarWhore

  • bryan

    Scientology Celebrity Center should be called Scientology Closet Center.

  • AtlantaJRM

    Anyone claiming that they don’t have religious freedom in the US just needs to look at Scientology. Anyone claiming they are a religion in the United States can do anything with adjunct amenity. Scientology will be around for a long long time, from the documentary they have an estimated net worth of 3 billion dollars, Pat Robertson can only dream.

    • RFW

      Knowing how the scienos, like the haters, have a penchant for lying through their teeth (though about different things), I wouldn’t take that 3 billion dollar figure as truth.

      “Unverified assertion” is the right way to look at it.

  • Ninja0980

    While I would like to think the HBO special will help take down this cult, I’m not holding my breath.
    In 2003, Elli Perkins, who belonged to this cult was butchered by her mentally ill son.
    A mentally ill son the police and doctors had told her and her husband to get psychiatric help for again and again but due to the beliefs of Scientology, she and her husband refused to give him what he needed, anti-psych meds.
    And the end result of that belief was her brutal murder.
    Her son is now getting the treatment he needs.. in a secure mental hospital, where he will likely be for the rest of his life due to the fact his family STILL believes in the teachings of this cult and would not help him if he got out.
    Yes, after the teachings of this cult were exposed as a farce in the worst way possible, Elli’s husband and daughter still refused to leave the cult or blame it for what happened, same with the rest of the members.
    And at the end of this case, they actually expanded as more people joined them instead of folks running away.
    Sad to say, but they will continue to be a blight on Western NY for some time to come.

    • MickinDetroit

      the only thing that differentiates Scientology from Catholicism, Mormonism, or Islam or whatever other mainline religion is age of existence. give it 150 years and a Scientologist will be running for POTUS and those pointing out the culty nature of the religion will be called religious bigots.

      • Estrafalario

        Hilarious. I made pretty much the same point above to the, IMHO, ridiculous assertion that it’s not as bad as Christianity. It’s just not as old. Then again I think a lot of people commenting haven’t seen the documentary.

        • Most of this information is already out there, but you do have to dig for it and most people haven’t bothered. Christianity has led to some horrible events in human history but in 21st century America I don’t know of any Christian church engaging in activities as heinous as $cientology.

          • RFW

            Try the horrible out-of-country “camps” to which gay youths are condemned by their parents,

          • Yes, now imagine if many times more people were being sent to such camps from a much smaller religious group and you get one aspect of what $cientology has been doing for years.

      • james_from_cambridge

        That won’t happen. Even at it’s height, the cult only had 50,000 members and it’s been in free fall for the past decade. They have a lot of rich, Hollywood members, which maybe fools people into thinking they have a membership of millions but they’re a nothing cult.

  • bkmn

    Just adds to my belief that the US has a very low bar for what qualifies as a religion.

    • Prion
      • Todd20036

        I never understood that entire meme. Wouldn’t you want to not rape people because it harms them and makes you a bad person? Is fear of punishment (whether being jailed or through some sort of celestial damnation ) the only thing keeping you from raping? You wouldn’t be much of a man if fear for your own freedom was the only thing preventing you from committing such horrendous acts.

        • MickinDetroit

          I believe that is what he’s saying. His not raping and not killing has nothing to do with a fear of punishment…temporal or celestial…but because he’s not a terrible person.

          • Todd20036

            I know. I’m basically agreeing with him. But I have spoken to people who genuinely wonder how someone who isn’t a deist can be “good”.

      • Queequeg

        I guess what the “religious” people don’t get is that you can have a moral compass without believing in an invisible being. I guess that is what Penn just said better than I did.
        If you really need control, there are such things as laws and law enforcement.

  • GarySFBCN

    You far left LGBTs are so anti-religion. /snark.

    • Trev

      May god bless and keep his followers…

      • Queequeg

        Yes, please keep them, and keep them away from us.

  • Ragnar Lothbrok

    This should be a weekly theme. Next week: Lutherans

    • Gustav2

      Which Lutherans? AALC? ACLC? ALCA? AFLG? ALCC? ARC? and that’s just he A’s…lol

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        All of them please.

        • Gustav2

          That would be one freaking long documentary. Lutherans no longer belong to three or so national organized denominations.

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            I was raised LCMS and am happy to have escaped.

          • Gustav2

            ALC now ELCA, went to Valpo though. I was confused, lol

            http://ts1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=HN.608037562835012212&w=300&h=300&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0

          • LonelyLiberal

            Least Common Masochists and Sadists?

          • Gustav2

            NO it was one of the most sadistic. Lutheran Church Misery..oh I’m sorry, Lutheran Church Missouri Synod.

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            Love Cock & Man Sex

          • Gustav2

            That would fit the assist. chaplain at Valpo my first year.

          • LonelyLiberal

            So how do I join this church?

            I guess the main problem is determining which half of the congregation is supposed to be on its knees at that moment. I suppose I’ll learn that.

          • Ragnar Lothbrok

            You may join anytime. Our doors are open to anyone willing to kneel before an awesome, juicy god or are worthy of being knelt to.
            We do most of this stuff at night and there are some common chats, phrases and positions to learn, but all of this is totally tax free.
            Bring a friend.

          • LonelyLiberal

            I have more than one friend who would be interested in this. Are trim otters welcome as well? He’s great at kneeling, and very considerate when you’re kneeling in front of him.

          • Robincho

            Trust in the lord, and the answer will be made plain to you…

          • gewaite

            It’s like yeast: Protestant groups just bud off their parent bodies and become more introverted and bizarre.
            There are now more than 30,000 of them and at least 90% get tax breaks and clergy housing allowances-but at least this isn’t Germany or Switzerland or Norway or Austria or Denmark, where you’d have to pay tax money directly to support their weirdness.

      • Robincho

        I just read your list of acronyms out loud to my hubby, who assumed I was sucking someone’s cock in the next room…

  • Very few new sects do as well as Scientology has done, but even fewer last over the long haul. They may be hoping to become as much a fixture of the landscape as, say, the Latter Day Saints, but I think – especially given how limited their recruiting options must be these days – the odds aren’t good. If, as I’ve read, there really are fewer than 30,000 active adherents worldwide, their prospects may look more like those of the International Peace Mission, aka the church of Mother and Father Divine (which in its day was as eccentric but never nearly as malign as the Scienos). Having lived in Philadelphia, I always found them an interesting local phenomenon.

  • Clive Johnson

    Why is this crap any more insane that believing you can telepathically communicate with an invisible and undetectable man who came back from the dead?

    • Strepsi

      …How about the literal belief that only a robed priest has the magic to turn a cracker into him?

      • Clive Johnson

        Among all the religious absurdities, that one stands above the rest.

        • i would disagree with that, in the sense that there are SO many even more entertaining examples.

          but that would require writing a book, and this thread is long enough. 😉

          • Clive Johnson

            Actually, I agree. Ex-Catholic boy here, I think I spoke too soon.

        • Polterguest

          Mormonism is just as insane. They both have space aliens.

    • LAguy323

      Only that this one, Scientology, began in the 1980s, and their insanity is readily apparent.

      • Reality-based

        Scientology began in the 1950s, not the 1980s. (I remember running into those nutjobs in the 1970s, as well as later.)

        The SNL parody religion began in 1982, but Scientology itself is about 30 years older.

        For a long time, Scientology successfully intimidated its critics and defectors. Thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster and Xenu that’s not the case any more.

        SNL’s parody was brilliant, by the way, right down to the L. Ron Hubbard analogue, and important.

        • LAguy323

          Thanks for that clarification. It’s good to know the exact origin of the crazy.

        • RFW

          To be even more precise, “Dianetics” was first published in Astounding Science Fiction in the late 1940s. (I used to own those issues; probably worth a small fortune now.)

          To put this in context, let me point out that the then-editor of Astounding, John W. Campbell, was fond of publishing pseudo-scientific nonsense in his magazine. During the same general period, articles on “rhodomagnetics” and “Heironymus machines” were two other expressions of this fondness besides “Dianetics.” That was also the period during which Isaac Asimov’s Foundation novels were first published.

          Scientology arose after Dianetics was published. It’s not clear to me if Hubbard planned it that way, or realized that he could capitalize big time on the dianetics nonsense.

  • Grumpelstiltskin

    Is it true that after LRH”s death, his body was pickled in formaldehyde and to this day floats in a tank of the stuff in Miscavige’s basement?

    • Octavio

      LRH’s remains were turned into LRH jerky. Pieces of Him are eaten at special Level 8 gatherings. 🙂

      • Ragnar Lothbrok

        That sounds familiar.

        • Octavio

          An operating thetan told me this was true. Would an OT lie? 🙂

  • HILARIOUS. SNL was really really ON this week!
    they tackled Indiana a few times, blisteringly, and even gave Don Lemon one HELLLLLL of an uncle tom diss.

  • Jacob

    Where can we see the doc. w/o HBO?

  • Queequeg

    I haven’t watched the documentary yet, but I probably will. The truth, however, is that all religions are nutty. Scientology is just easier to pick on.

    • Wait until you see the doc then. I don’t think you’ve heard how bad Hubbardology really is.

      • Queequeg

        No. I really don’t know much about Scientology, but I believe they mistreat women and children, like many cults. If you want to read a frightening book, read “Under the Banner of Heaven”.
        I’m going to watch the documentary, soon probably.

        • In that case I think you’re going to be surprised at just how horrible this con-game is and how many people’s lives have been ruined.

          • Queequeg

            I will have to watch it soon. I don’t understand how people get drawn into cults. I’m naturally suspicious of organizations that claim to have all the answers.

  • Sam_Handwich
    • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

      TWC outage or TWC outrage?

  • David Miscavige

    Can someone please provide the address for legal service of process for this website? Thank you.

    • Sam_Handwich

      what?

      • TimCA

        Hi Sam, it’s just a joke! Scientology has been known to vigorously sue their opponents in the past.

        • Sam_Handwich

          Thanks, Tim and Frank! 😀

    • Guest

      Oh COB, don’t be such a suppressive person!

    • People4Humanity

      Please check this address:

    • Robincho

      Oh, no, thank YOU, David Miscarriage. Or Miss Cavige Patch Kid. Or whatever.

    • Maybe your wife knows, David. If anyone can find her.

    • BOB

      We can not. You are an SP. Everyone must immediately disconnect from this poster!

  • Dave Evans

    Someone put Going Clear on Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gX2VvT0Xq-M

    • TimCA

      Thank you since I haven’t had the chance to watch it yet. 🙂

      • Dave Evans

        Welcome 🙂

  • LAguy323

    LRH, I Salute You!

  • 2karmanot

    I recently had my ingrams cleaned with a mild solution of salt water—-highly recommend.

  • what’s funny to me is how ignorant most people are of the true history of their own sect. soo many people participate in religion for all the wrong reasons, and at the same time have no clue what kind of statement they are making by membering with a particular cult or group.

    you can ask 100 members of the top 25 lutheran groups “when and why was your group founded, and what does it mean today?” and you’ll get enough dissimilar gobbledygook you’ll be able to fill an encyclopedia.

  • I don’t have HBO (or cable, for that matter) so I’ll have to wait for it to come out on Netflix. Meanwhile a good friend who has read a lot of $cientology (as have I) told me that the info wasn’t so much a bombshell for people who’ve dug a bit and read about the “church” but it is shocking to see so much of it presented at one time. For the vast majority of people who haven’t read so much about $cientology, it will probably be startling to find out what they’ve really been up to all these years and also what they’ve been allowed to get away with.

  • Michael Smith

    I finally just watched it. Wow. I knew some about Scientology from South Park and occasional internet browsing, but I had no idea how awful it is. The documentary even implies that they have blackmailed Travolta into staying. It actually makes you feel kind of bad for him.

  • DanimalChgo

    Watched the documentary, and I’m reading the book. (Currently around 140 pages in.) The book is SO much freakier, just from the amount of details that could be included that a movie didn’t have time for. Like, at the very same time Hubbard was writing in “Dianetics” about how abortion was totally evil, and that people who survived abortion attempts and survived would become mentally ill, he was also pressuring his wife to have multiple abortions, some of which he even performed himself. One of his sons even claims that he was born prematurely when Hubbard tried to perform an abortion on his mother. Hubbard’s obsession with abortions is fucking disgusting.