Somebody Tried To Sell Alabama On eBay

A few days ago the state of Alabama was briefly available for purchase on eBay.

“We loved this state for many years, but now that Alabama is subverting federal law by allowing officials to refuse to perform same-sex marriages, it’s time to let her go,” the seller, Welsh91, wrote in the description. “Frankly, 49 states is enough.” “Alabama became a state on December 14th, 1819. They have made no recognizable progress since,” the listing says. According to the listing, attempts at private sales were made previous to the auction listing, but the potential buyers – Iran and Saudi Arabia – “thought it was, frankly, too backwoods and messed up.” Even ISIS said Alabama was too fundamentalist, according to the listing. The seller did not seem to be particularly motivated to rid himself of the property. He seems to lay out things that would likely be found upon a full inspection. In fact, the seller seems to be quite bitter with the item. “Education – 49th out of 50,” the seller wrote. “15% of the state is illiterate. So, upon purchase, you might want to invest a little money in dictionaries. A whopping 60% of Alabama believes in Creationism. 60%!!!! Bring a lot of bibles!”

According to the listing, Alabama is made out of wicker and proceeds from the sale were to go to “somebody like Lambda Legal.”