David Benham: How To Cure Gayness

“We had so many people from the gay community reaching out to us and one man in particular from the city of Chicago reached out and he said things to me that made me lose my appetite. But I simply responded in love. After a little conversation back and forth, I found out he loved baseball and I got him tickets to a Cubs game. He shot me a Facebook post and said, ‘I was not expecting that  and I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I’ve chosen to walk away from my lifestyle.’” – David Benham, telling the audience at the National Religious Broadcasters convention that he cured a man’s gayness with a gift of baseball tickets. In two days Benham and his brother will gift the city of Charlotte with a hate rally against a proposed LGBT rights ordinance.

  • colaboy29

    Because tickets to my favorite sporting event will take away my urge to suck cock? Sure!

    • Jeffrey

      Nope, sporting events usually have the opposite effect on me.

      • jomicur

        When I was a kid I was a big hockey fan, and now I’m gay as the proverbial goose. Guess that’s why, eh?

  • BearEyes

    Baseball tickets? Really?
    Do you have a bridge to sell me too?

    • Dramphooey

      No, but they make you the bridge between themselves when they hold you up in the air for no discernible reason.

      • TampaDink

        There IS a discernible reason for the Benham Bros. Fist Swing. They just adore introducing other conservative men to their favorite family past time.

  • pj

    im from chicago and this guy is full of shit. no gay man is going to start banging women for a pair of cubs tickets. what an asshole….

  • Nick in Pasadena

    Does this work in reverse? What if I gave him tickets to a Kylie Minogue concert?

    • guest

      Well, that is Gay Bob from Chicago and we all know him and further we know he will change his story to whatever you want to try to get into your pants.

      I think this hater just does not understand Gay Bob from Chicago.

      • clay

        I was thinking Kevin DuJan, or whatever his name his, with the woolly bear caterpillars for eyebrows.

    • Rod Steely

      I was thinking the Tony awards would make him even gayer.

  • Baltimatt

    Cubs tickets cure homosexuality. Who knew?

    • Gustav2

      No one in Chicago.

    • Anastasia Beaverhousen

      And “Gypsy” tickets turn hetros in to screaming queens.

  • Gustav2

    He cured a man of his “lifestyle” by sending him tickets to a team partiality owned by a lesbian?

  • PopChips

    Is this guy on drugs or having a stroke or perhaps suffering reduced blood flow to his brain? He makes absolutely no sense. Seriously, being this non-coherent could be a sign of a serious medical condition. I hope his family gives some thought to the matter. ERs are open 24 hours a day.

    • TampaDink

      Yes, possibly, quite likely.
      No, he doesn’t.
      In this case, I am sure of it.
      Don’t count on it, his family mostly gives thoughts to LGBT people, issues.
      24/7 is the same hours that he & his twin think about gay sex.

  • GayOldLady

    Really???? He expects us to believe that a gay man traded his identity, his very life, for a couple of tickets to a Cubs game? If that wasn’t such a pathetic lie, it might be funny.

    • Dramphooey

      I’m sure it happens all the time.

    • Friday

      Well, consider these Benham guys are liars to begin with, but all he even claims to have gotten is a FB message. Even if he’s telling the truth there’s no way of knowing if his “gay” guy isn’t just some kind of troll finding out ‘Hey, buddy up to celeb, get free stuff.’ 🙂

      • KB

        It sounds like a plot straight out of the sadly cancelled Happy Endings. Pretending to go ex-gay for baseball tickets and the hope of seducing a hot bigot is totally something Max would have done on on the show.

    • RFW

      Someone straight, pretending to be gay to scam tickets from Benham???

    • Rich Farias

      Honestly, I think Benham’s sarcasm detector needs to be recalibrated.

    • JulieBL

      Oh, I’m sure the guy told him that, hoping to get more tickets. No fool like an ex-gay fool

    • B Snow

      I know this is a Scotsman thing, but would any truly gay man use the term “lifestyle”?

      • Cuberly

        Nope.

        The deeply indoctrinated use that tactic a lot. When called on it they’ll admit they where merely illustrating a point on the power of their “truth”. Yep, “truth”.

        They’re the lonely miracle seekers. Since there’s no miracles a’happenin they substitute their own fantasy ones.

    • penpal

      When you’ve spent your entire life wirshipping a book of vicious, nasty fairy tales, it’s amazing how easily repeated lies (and other degradations) manifest themselves.

    • clay

      No, he expects his fellow brain-washed fans to believe it.

      Personally, I think Mr. Bentham misunderstood the whole conversation. The guy’s just walking away from his attraction to Mr. Bentham (with two baseball tickets in his hand). The words that turned Mr. Bentham’s stomach weren’t general, but specific to what would be done to Mr. Bentham’s digestive tract.

  • Reality.Bites

    We must fight this insidious menace! Men, if any of your gaybros seem to be backsliding get him tickets to Robbie Rogers and the LA Galaxy pronto!

    • Lol…I was thinking along the same lines if gifting gay people tickets to a game makes them “walk away from the lifestyle” does that still work if the game features an openly gay player?

    • i question your authenticity. real gaybros go to the theater, not pointless sportsball competitions filled with drunken cheering str8s. we’re the Classy folk, remember?

      not that taking in an occasional Roberts game will totally invalidate your ‘Mo Card. 😉

  • JJS_prime

    So now how do we cure smug duche-baggy self-righteous “christianness”?

    • shellback

      Feed them to a pack of hungry lions. Just a guess.

      • TampaDink

        With a 3 lb. antacid tablet chaser. Poor kitties.

    • BudClark

      A hot, soapy high colonic and the above-mentioned Destroyer™.

    • Amanda B. Rekendwith

      Not sure if it’s a cure, but removing their vocal chords would be a good start.
      If only they’d just SHUT THE FUCK UP!

    • Justin

      It’s an illness that has to burn out on its own. However, we can inoculate against it by way of education, so that other people don’t contract this deadly disorder.

  • David F.

    How can you tell when the Benhams’s are lying? THEY”RE BREATHING. The ‘Thou shalt not bear false witness’ thing is really going to fuck them at the Pearly Gates.

    • BudClark

      The Benham Bros. fucking at the Pearly Gates on a fluffy white cloud … now THERE’S a porno that NEEDS to be made!

      I volunteer as staff fluffer.

    • I know you lie
      Cause your lips are moving
      Tell me do you think I’m dumb?
      I might be young, but I ain’t stupid
      Talking around in circles with your tongue
      I gave you bass, You gave me sweet talk
      Saying how I’m your number one
      But I know you lie
      Cause your lips are moving
      Baby don’t you know I’m done

  • KnownDonorDad

    That story is as true as his heterosexuality.

  • Reality.Bites

    Perhaps the lifestyle he was walking away from was being a White Sox fan.

    • Gustav2

      Which any baseball fan knows is worse than any religious objection to teh ghey.

  • TampaZeke

    Lying for Jeezus! It’s a tradition.

    You can’t even cure homaseshality with tickets to a GOOD baseball team’s games; much less the Cubs! 😉

    I’m pretty sure Benham misunderstood. The man said that he would turn straight as soon as the Cubs win the World Series as long as Benham bought him season tickets until then.

    Hell! I’LL turn straight as soon as the Cubs win the World Series!

    • sherman

      It seems to be the main tenet of the faith.

      • David Walker

        Starting with 30 pieces of silver. With inflation, that’s probably a baseball ticket, upper level, behind a support beam.

    • Gerry Fisher

      The Cubs *cause* depression!

    • neonzx

      I’d like to try the baseball method. Please send me season tickets to the Red Sox and I’ll let you know how it works out.

      Come on, Christians, show me that love for your gay brother! Save me!

      • TampaZeke

        Right there with ya! You and I can sit on the Green Monster for the whole season not being gay together on the dime of homo haterz. Sounds like a great deal to me.

    • guest

      It is mandatory and part of Canon Law.

    • Lawerence Collins

      Here you go.

      • JoyZeeBoy

        BUDDY CHRIST!!!

    • olandp

      I would have taken the tickets when Ryne Sandberg was playing.

      I’m still waiting for your call Ryne…

    • Gaiboi66

      Just like the other guy in that church, Benham’s new friend doesn’t like menz no more.

      Lmao! Oh this is rich!

  • George

    BULLSHIT! Nothing but bullshit.

  • zhera

    Ri-iight. Sure. Because that totally happened. Mm-hmm!

  • Captain Jack

    When your ugly on the inside it makes you ugly on the outside ….

    • Chucktech

      Alas, I can’t necessarily agree…

  • Mister Don

    Did the offer include a visit to the locker room?

    • Gerry Fisher

      WOOF

  • “Walk away from the lifestyle.” Bullshit. Actual gay people don’t talk that way.

    • forcebear

      Gays who have swallowed phobic poison do.

    • TampaDink

      Sashay away.

  • Happy Dance

    So, you buy someone baseball tickets and POOF they are straight? Sir, I have been to MANY baseball games in my day, and I swear, I never desired to play on the straight team!!

    • Reality.Bites

      But were they CUBS games?

      • Happy Dance

        D’OH!! That’s where I went right!! LOL…I was a big fan of the Texas Rangers waaaayyyyyy back when Nolan Ryan was around and making his headlines…

    • Dramphooey

      Oh, no, it was the simple act of kindness that so affected our ex-gay friend who will never be named with a Facebook post that went missing. Just be certain these acts of kindness never involve baking pastry.

    • Rob NYNY

      Whenever the shirts play the skins, I find myself rooting for the skins.

  • shellback

    David, your obsession with all things gay is very telling.

    • barracks9

      Clearly, he was getting some sort of stimulation from interacting with the guys who’d sent him sexually explicit emails. He’s clearly admitting that he replies to those messages…perhaps we could inundate his 50,000 shades of gay this weekend.

  • fuow

    They’re cute, they’re hung, they’re pure evil.

    • sherman

      The Cubs haven’t won in a century, but I wouldn’t call them evil. Still, I don’t understand having me stare at them (especially wearing “enhancements” like cups) for 3 hours will make me straight.

      • Alex in Idaho

        They haven’t won in a century, but–it’s a NEW season!! I hope this douchebag hasn’t jinxed them. Hey David, next time give out White Sox tix, ok?

        • delk

          Better yet, send David to the Cell to get his ass beat.

  • sherman

    Hey Benham, can you hook me up with some Super Bowl tickets? I have a higher price for fake conversion that your Chicago mythical gay.

    • Dramphooey

      I sure would like to be a globetrotter like Aaron Schock. If some tickets were just sent to me who knows what I might post on Facebook.

  • BobSF_94117

    ““After a little conversation back and forth, I found out he loved baseball … and I got him tickets to a Cubs game,” Benham continued. “He shot me a Facebook post and said, ‘I was not expecting that — and I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I’ve chosen to walk away from my lifestyle.’”

    Yeah, he decided to grow a beard…

    • sherman

      Dude, the guy was scamming you for tickets. The “lifestyle” he was talking about was eating several donuts for breakfast everyday, and his doctor was more influential in that decision than your tickets were.

      • Chucktech

        That’s FAR more plausible than giving up the gay…

    • Bad Tom

      Grow a beard, or marry a beard?

  • SFHarry

    The gall of thinking you can buy someones identity for the price of two baseball tickets.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      I wonder if the Benhams would like to take in Bjork in NYC next month.

  • Marc

    If anyone can really “fix” their sexuality from receiving baseball tickets, they could just as easily “become” something else for a different prize.

    • LonelyLiberal

      We should start giving out tickets to “Cabaret.” The entire country could be gay by Tuesday.

      • Reality.Bites

        Just how many times do you expect poor Liza to get married?

        • Lumpy Gaga

          Let’s keep this a Liza-cruelty-free zone.

          • Octavio

            Yeah, the poor dear still has hip pain after having them both replaced. She’s got enough grief.

  • Jeffrey

    Was he suggesting that the guy was hitting on him? That’s the only believable part of this story. Replace “tickets to a baseball game” with “reach around” and replace “walk away from his lifestyle” with “get a wife and fuck other christian boys in private” and I think the story fills out a little more organically.

    • BobSF_94117

      I think he means the alleged guy was saying nasty things to him online, like cursing him, etc.

      • forcebear

        Or just talking about two guys being physically intimate. It’s another instance of Panti’s “gays are walking sex acts” meme.

        • Chucktech

          So, I wonder just what this mythical gay person said to Brother Benham to make him lose his appetite?

          “Hay-el, you shore do got a purdy ma-youth. I’d luv to stick muh tongue up yer bunghole…”

  • David Michael

    Well now. Finally the ex gay industry has tried and true evidence they can take to the judge and jury in the next state trying to ban ex gay therapy. What a staggering find. I can’t wait to hear how science explains this simple tried and true method of baseball game gay no more therapy. Brilliant. What a couple of smart really smart silly boys no more.

    • Lumpy Gaga

      It’s the hypnotism that does it. They just need the baseball game to put you into a coma.

    • StraightGrandmother

      I didn’t think about it but you are right. This will put NARTH, Nicolosi & David Pickup out of business.

  • FAEN

    A. We don’t have a lifestyle. We have lives.

    B. No matter how much you try you can never ‘walk away’ from your orientation. Or are you saying if we got you tickets to a show you like you would walk away from your heterosexual ‘lifestyle’?

    C. I can’t wait for when you are eventually busted in some bathroom stall somewhere sucking cock or getting yours played with. Not that’s there’s anything wrong with that generally but for hateful hypocrites like yourself the busting can’t happen fast enough.

    D. FYI-Jesus said bupkis about homosexuality.

    E. Go fuck yourself.

    • Gigi

      I think he fucks himself a lot…with his Jeff Stryker dildo.

      • oikos

        I’ll bet he and his brother take turns with The Destroyer™. 🙂

        • Gigi

          If they weren’t so creepy that’d be kinda hot.

          • MattPS

            If I were a talent scout/casting director for Next Door Buddies, they’d be on the top of my wish list.

        • Stephen Elliot Phillips

          double dong…..”ass to ass, boys. ass to ass”

    • Reality.Bites

      Why would he and his brother do that in a bathroom stall instead of at home?

      • forcebear

        Hatefucking each other? Hawt.

        • Chucktech

          I’d watch…

          • Reality.Bites

            I’d choreograph.

          • Chucktech

            Really? You think those two christianist clods can dance?

          • Amanda B. Rekendwith

            It’s why Baptist’s won’t fuck standing up.
            They don’t want gawd to think they’re dancing.

          • barracks9

            I’d be happy to direct.

          • Robincho

            Another epic from Cecily “Bea” DeMille.

      • clay

        because, secretly, they WANT to get caught?

    • Prion
      • FAEN

        I love that 🙂

    • Goodboy

      You have to admit these bigot families indoctrinate their kids well. Everyone from the Phelps to the Duggars with one kid now helming the hate group FRC. It’s amazing that some have actually escaped the cycle of hate passed down from one generation to the next.

      Unfortunately, $ plays the biggest part.

      Daddy Benham..

      • We need to fix his sign!

        CHRISTIANITY IS A LIE!

        whew! fixed it

      • KB

        The interesting thing is that they’re the only ones of the Operation Rescue movement kids who have actually continued in their leader father’s footsteps. Randall Terry’s kids aren’t, neither are any of Operation Rescue co-founder Joe Foreman’s kids, or former exec director Keith Tucci’s kids. They may be conservative but they aren’t activists. Jason and David seem like they’re still trying to find daddy’s approval after all these years.

    • Regan DuCasse

      If Jesus said treat another the way you want to be treated, that is enough.
      Nothing else much matters with one’s consciousness being led in that direction. The moral creed of equal justice and opportunity, speaks for itself. Since no entire nations, or individuals have ever suffered for it’s results.
      But we see considerable resistance from those who claim so much piety, while squandering opportunity to actually lead by example.
      It was the religious, not even the most extreme, that led mankind into the Dark Ages.
      I for many, I’m sure, see diversity and variation all around, and think it’s remarkably stupid to insist that we’re all ‘meant’ to be ONLY one kind of man or woman, where gender or it’s expression or physical appearance is concerned.
      Each of us human beings is unique. Rarity, is to be cherished, not reviled.
      I don’t mistake being common, for being supreme.
      I don’t mistake bone headed stupid, for courage either.The way so many religious like to arrogate to themselves.
      And I am SO sick of it.

  • Dramphooey

    Maybe the guy asked “how can I repay you for the tickets?” and the answer was “you can either ‘walk away from the lifestyle’ or consent to be held in the air by me and my brother while we bug our eyes at the camera.” “A! Definitely a.”

    • Chucktech

      Gee, I dunno, I think I’d pick “B” and hope they touch me, right down thar wheres I wants ’em to.

      • TampaDink

        Which, is coincidently….exactly where they enjoy touching every man that they lure into their 4 arm man sling.

  • robirob

    Wow, a Christian is telling the tale of a man changing for the better thanks to materialism. Hmmmmmm, what does that remind me of?

    http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/2014/09/kirk_cameron.jpg

    • Gerry Fisher

      How *Republican* of them!

  • zhera

    Oooh, I think I’ve figured this out.

    What he’s trying to say is that for two tickets to a baseball game, he’ll ‘walk away from HIS lifestyle. It’s a hint to all you sexy cock monsters out there: He wants someone to lure him away from his ‘pure’ life with ‘God’.

  • Well, since this fellow has chosen to walk away from his lifestyle he is no doubt very proud of himself and should be happy to grant interviews on all the major news stations so we can see just how complete the breederfication is.

    • David Walker

      “Ah loves wimmins! Ah loves wimmins! Where’s the check, rev?”

      • oikos

        Ha, there was just an article on him the other day and he says gawd hasn’t made him straight, but he keeps praying. 🙂

  • oikos

    Mmm, yeah, never happened.

    • Gustav2

      Years ago, Christianists and politicians could get away with lying to one group and say something different to another. Some have not learned the lesson of the intertubes.

      • oikos

        I love when they make that claim and then someone produces a video or sound clip of it and they scream ” but that was taken out of context.”

  • Gigi

    That anecdote made me lose my appetite.

    • What makes me lose my appetite are empty, meaningless christer platitudes such as ” But I simply responded in love”

  • Phil

    I hope he realizes there’s only one person in the Chicago area that could say things that could make one lose their appetite.

    Yes, Mr. Benham, you sent Porno Pete tickets to a Cubs game.

    • zhera

      Or it was that other guy. what’s his name again? The gay homosexual guy with the eyebrows, who claims that Obama used to frequent bath houses in Chicago…

      • Phil

        Yeah, the one who claims everyone’s out to get him. Benham did say he sent TWO tickets……

        • Todd20036

          And no one is out to fuck him…

      • Six Pins Delores

        Kevin DeLoon.

      • 2guysnamedjoe

        Kevin D’ouche-On.

      • Kevin DoucheAnne

    • Polterguest

      Kevin Dujan?

  • SFBruce

    Who knew? All it takes to go straight is an invitation to a baseball game from a guy who’s sorta hunky. If you can ignore all that anti-gay stuff, that is.

    • TampaDink

      Sorta….but not very.
      I can’t.

  • unclemike

    “Why, sure, weirdo-christian-homophobe-on-facebook, I’ll happily give you my real address so that you can ‘send me something.’ I give it out all the time!”

    Uh…yeah. I’m sure that happened.

    • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

      PO box.

  • Sashineb

    I can’t wait for the day when these guys are outed from being on Grindr or Asspig.

    • CB

      Asspig? I learn something new every day on JMG!

  • BudClark

    Bats and balls … mmm!

    That’s about the silliest thing I’ve read recently.

    I also agree with Uncle Mike.

  • ericxdc

    What the he’ll are these guys’ problems? Seriously, what the hell.

    • forcebear

      Donations dropping off.

    • Chucktech

      Still smarting after blowing their HGTV gig.

    • Amanda B. Rekendwith

      FameWhores gotta fame whore.

  • Sam_Handwich

    This just in from Wrigley Field men’s room…

  • Am I supposed to believe this story? Well heck 2 can play at this game, so there was this 1 time when I bought lunch for 5 people attending a world congress of families event and a week latter I got emails from all of them saying that they had decided to walk away from the anti-gay lifestyle.

  • Mark

    ROFL

  • BobSF_94117

    ““After a little conversation back and forth, I found out he loved baseball … and I got him tickets to a Cubs game,” Benham continued. “He shot me a Facebook post and said, ‘I was not expecting that — and I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I’ve chosen to walk away from my lifestyle.’”

    Since Benham sent him two tickets, and there there was this guy he had been thinking of asking out, well, he decided to invite him and now they’re getting married!!!!!

    Benham should have only sent one ticket. Temptation, you know. These boys are so dim…

  • Hue-Man

    Baseball is the 2nd gayest sport – pitcher/catcher, switch-hitter, balls, sticks, home-runs, extra innings, etc. (I need a 7th inning stretch – it’s early!)

    1st gayest? Curling – Hurry! Hurry hard! Hurry!

    • Sam_Handwich

      football takes the gay wedding cake

      • Ben in Oakland

        don’t those helmets interfere with the kissing?
        Oh, wait! Their heterosexual. They don’t kiss other guys.

        • TampaDink

          Not on the mouth.

          • Ben in Oakland

            Now where else?…………ooooooooooh.

          • TampaDink

            ;-D

      • TampaDink

        #8 looks rather satisfied.

    • BlueberriesForMe

      I always think it’s wrestling. And you have to get in shape to wrestle. 2nd would be rowing/crew. Emphasis on stroking and rhythm.

      • Claude Jacques Bonhomme
        • TampaDink

          Had I known that there was a sport that gave out nosegays, I’d have at least attempted to become athletic.

          • Robincho

            Nothing like a nosegay for a gay who knows!…

          • TampaDink

            Seems like I should have a storage room full of them.

          • Robincho

            Second from left above appears to have a nosegay AND a mouthgay, if not an assgay…

          • In after interviews he said he wasn’t erect that’s just the way it looks when he “dresses” up

          • TampaDink

            In my opinion, these are traits that all four share. Too bad that we cannot be sure about their assgays from this pose.

          • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

            Silly me… I thought nosegay referred to something else obvious in this picture, until I Googled it. That’s what happens when English is not one’s first language and one has a dirty mind.

          • TampaDink

            I learn new words & their meanings from reading them here, nearly every day. JMG is edu-info-tainment. ☺

    • Reality.Bites

      All that sweeping. They should wear aprons.

  • ericxdc

    Perhaps this is the reason I avoid baseball games?

  • Richard Rush

    There’s nothing quite like the sheer joy, peace, and contentment that comes from knowing you shamed a man into living a lonely sexless life of misery.

    • TampaDink

      Except the sheer joy, peace & contentment that comes from telling an unfathomable lie & thinking that someone actually believed you.

  • Dreaming Vertebrate

    “I got him tickets to a Cubs game, and … he walked away from his lifestyle”

    Oh come on! The Cubs are not THAT bad a team.

  • TJay229

    “Cubs tickets…” cheap

    I need a complete bespoke wardrobe by Cifonelli
    Shoes by Berluti, Hermes & John Lobb
    A complete Goyard set of luggage
    My Amex paid for two years
    & My rent paid for four years

    Then….I’ll consider it.

    • 2guysnamedjoe

      But if you go straight, you’ll have no place to wear those clothes and those shoes.

      • LonelyLiberal

        Not true! He can wear them when he’s out on the down-low cheating on his wife.

      • Chucktech

        TJay said he’d consider it. But once he sees how fabulous he looks and no bills to pay, he’ll say, “Nope. Just foolin’! Thanks anyway!”

      • TJay229

        You know…. You DO. have a point!

        • 2guysnamedjoe

          I know, that’s why I always wear a fabulous hat.

  • motordog

    I call bullshit…

    • TampaDink

      Steer shit. This story has no balls.

  • Six Pins Delores

    Such are the magical powers of Kristian kloset kases. Who knew. What happens to the subject men he and his brother lift and cradle on occasion?

    • oikos

      They get put on speed dial.

  • Bob from CT

    “…he said things to me that made me lose my appetite.” You know, I was thinking, I bet I know exactly what kind of things I could say to a Christianist like Benham that would make him vomit pea soup and cause his head to do a 360: Hey, David, I’ve been with my partner for 24 years. We’re completely accepted by our families. We’re totally out at work and it’s no big deal. We even have photos of each other on display in our offices. Our home state (Connecticut) has had marriage equality for years, so our marriage is just as valid and real as any heterosexual Christianist couple. Oh, here’s a bucket, sweetie, can’t have you messing the carpet while you toss your cookies.

  • bkmn

    I have a bridge that Mr. Benham might be interested in.

  • The Larry Mac

    I seen the Cubbies at least twice, along with numerous other MLB teams. I’ve held season tickets for the Whalers and made a point of going to NHL games in whatever city I was in back in my business travel days. NBA, NFL (even the SuperBowl), MASL …

    And I’m still as queer as a football bat.

    • Sam_Handwich

      Kudos for remaining gay in the midst of young sweaty athletic men!

      • TampaDink

        That is one of the best ways to remain gay.

    • Reality.Bites

      All that hockey kills the effects of the baseball. Too many Canadians and Europeans.

    • Octavio

      And a good-looking daddy judging by your avatar pic.

  • Gerry Fisher

    I wonder if I could use this ruse to weasel some Orioles tickets out of the douchebag….

    • Sam_Handwich

      don’t settle for anything less than right above the dugout

      • Lumpy Gaga

        Heh Heh. “dugout”.

  • Steven Leahy

    LOL talk about making up a story. I don’t believe it ever happened. So he said things to you that made you want to lose your appetite (such as?) – but you kept talking to him and then bought him cubs tickets, upon which he promptly turned away from his gayness? Try again Benham.

    BTW baseball is one of the gayer sports IMO.

  • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

    Why is it that when I see those brothers’ pictures, it makes me think of this?
    http://www.master-of-education.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/4-The-German-Student-Fights-for-the-Fuhrer-and-the-People.jpg

    • Six Pins Delores

      Because they are handsome dominionist fascists just like the man in the poster.

    • Ben in Oakland

      It’s not the blondeness. It’s the hand placed so insouciantly on the hip that gives the whole thing away.
      You know I’m gay because I used the word “insouciantly”.

      • Octavio

        Why, you cheeky little Pinot Noir!

        • MDB

          Seenyorr Oktaveeoh…you have such a way with words !!!
          * You’re enjoying a balmy 22 and macaws on your balcony, while we’re defrosting from nearly a foot of snow in the last 2 days and black-ice everywhere with more on the way. Loving the moisture, just not the black-ice.

    • Reality.Bites

      Because they don’t deserve to make you think of Tom of Finland pictures.

  • Wilberforce

    I have one question and one question only.
    Who is the traitor that’s doing his hair? You get a do like that without some top notch West Hollywood stylist. Whoever it is should have his membership card revoked.
    On a lighter side, and in the spirit of blaming liberal Christians for fundamentalist crimes, I want to know why all the psychiatrists are not calling this fool on his claim of curing homosexuality. Aren’t they supposed to drop everything and defend us at all times? Lazy psychiatrists are the cause of all of our problems.

  • Wilberforce

    And to paraphrase Gandalf in debate with the Mouth of Sauron: Where is this so-call conversion. Let him be brought forth and yielded to us. And then we will consider these demands.

  • 2patricius2

    Is David selling a bridge too?

    • J Ascher

      And his brother is selling land in Florida, too!

      • TampaDink

        On one of our beautiful mountains with unobstructed views of the Atlantic & the Gulf, and Disney adjacent.

  • Paula

    I am sure that these guys keep a crack dealer living very comfortably with their purchases. These guys gotta’ be on crack.

  • Too damn stupid to know how obvious he is with his made-up ridiculous story. It amazes me how easily the lies roll off their tongues.

    Don’t let anyone forget, when these two come up in the news, that they infiltrated a U. U. church service in New Orleans and disrupted it with shouting accusations of being a “synagogue of satan”. They were asked to leave and they continued their protest outside.

    People like the Benhams are anti-christian (only those who believe their version deserve rights), anti-religious freedom (ONLY for themselves), anti-gay and anti-anybody who doesn’t bow to their chosen cult.

    Edit to add links on Benhams raiding a church:
    http://www.latimes.com/local/abcarian/la-me-ra-antiabortion-fanatics-invade-a-church-service-20140723-column.html#page=1

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/benham-group-disrupts-synagogue-satan-unitarian-universalist-worship-services-receives-procl

  • delk

    For the record, it wasn’t this Chicago boy. Kind of funny, but there is an Out at Wrigley day every year. You’d think all he had to do is show up and there would be mass conversions.

    ps My friend George got to throw out the first pitch one year.

    • Robincho

      Have we any record of the catcher’s identity?…

  • walks like a duck

    How he lost me “right off the bat” : so many people from the gay community reached out to them.

  • delk

    Obviously he never has used the trough urinals at Wrigley.

    Stick to furniture impersonation, Mary.

  • DCJoe

    30 years of lots of man on man action for me and not slowing down. But gee, baseball tickets, I’d have to consider it.

    • BlueberriesForMe

      Particularly if it was a double-header.

      • Reality.Bites

        Those work best for lesbians.

  • Randy

    Such everlasting bullshit.

  • RobynWatts

    Oh, David, it’s nice of you and your brother to offer the same quackery cure-all for “thee gayz” that every other nutcase is offering. It’s such a shame that no one has offered the two of you, in kind, a cure for your “cranial-rectotus.”

  • SilasMarner

    @David Benham…girlfriend PUHlease. Go sell crazy someplace else.

  • anne marie in philly

    there is NOTHING to “cure”; we are each born the way we are. WHY the fuck can’t these assholes accept that fact!

    • noni

      It’s his way of not coming to terms with being a gay man.

    • BlueberriesForMe

      It makes them feel more like “real” men. Otherwise they’d realize they are less human.

  • Bj Lincoln

    Riiiight…and I became a lesbian because my friend needed a new toaster.

  • Kent Calhoun

    Go home. Fuck your brother. Get it over with.

    • Chucktech

      They’re tired of doing each other by now.

  • Kissmagrits

    David, David, David – – – If you insist on pulling fabricated testimonials to the towering power of Jeebus out of your ass on these occasions – – could you please wash them off before presenting them to all those people. It’s the sanitary thing to do – – – Oh, and before I forget – baseball tickets don’t quite cut it.

    • Octavio

      For me to “turn straight” I’d need at least the gift of a vintage Ferrari and a pair of first class tickets to New Zealand and/or Australia. Even then, it would be something I wouldn’t bet odds on.

  • tsapience

    Even for a clearly made-up story, this is some amateur shit. Wrigley is right down the street from Boystown! If Benham were serious about making that guy straight, he would’ve bought Sox tickets.

    • ChitownKev

      Beat me to it and I must pay homage.

  • yes, the lifestyle of not having tickets to the game.

  • Guest

    Um, you can get tickets to a Cubs’ game for like $20 outside Wrigley Field. If the dude walked away from dick for $20, he wants a very dedicated homosexual to begin with. 😉

  • BoringLawyer

    Um, you can get tickets to a Cubs’ game for like $20 outside Wrigley Field. If the dude walked away from dick for $20, he wasn’t a very dedicated homosexual to begin with. 😉

  • SLK in SF

    I suppose anything is possible. I once took a “straight” dude to a Meryl Streep movie. Later that night he asked me to f*ck him.

    • Robincho

      And did you? Without pics, these things are debatable.

      • SLK in SF

        I did indeed (he was hot). And we both had, pardon the expression, a “blast.”

        I must have done something wrong, though, because he went on to marry a woman and have two or three kids.

        • Robincho

          (Sung to the tune of you-know-what):

          “Oh, what a beautiful morning!
          Oh, what a beautiful day!
          He had that wonderful feeling,
          His asshole’s no longer one-way!”

  • Cuberly

    Can someone do a photoshop’d image of the benhams doing their, let’s lift up a bigot routine. But show them lifting a pile of horse shit?

    I’d be much obliged… 😉

    • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

      I know I’m no Sam Handwich-like Photoshopper, but… Something like this?

      • Steven Leahy

        LOL – I dunno, you’re pretty damned good at it in your own right!

        • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

          Thank you, kind Sir! ☺

      • Mark

        That’s the Piyush Jindal shot, right? Very appropriate!

        • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

          Yup!

      • Cuberly

        That totally works. HA!

        Good job!

      • Rob NYNY

        God, those suits don’t fit. No gay friends.

  • Mark

    Up to this point, I regarded him and his brother as heckle and jeckle = a couple crows pestering folks and trying to make a name for themselves. But, this one just had to go push it over the line. His story is utterly ridiculous – and self grandstanding at that!. HIS conversation and HIS gift ‘saved’ this poor, poor man from the evil ways of gayness. Now add in all the stupid fucks at that convention who actually believe it!

    From crow to snake – as in snake oil. It’s funny how these wanna-be-jeebus mucho-macho dildo’s fling it out there once they have the financial backing from the RWNJ’s. Send it that money, and I’ll tell ya another good story….

    Fuck him.
    Fuck them.

    How ’bout I tell him stories about all the straight christian dick I’ve sucked – with less than a 6 pack??!!

    • Mark

      straight christian married dick…..

  • noni

    He’s too purdy to be straight.

  • Richard

    changing your entire lifestyle just for a ticket to a Cubs game ? Really ? the Cubs? I bet if you really believe that, Benham’s got a bridge he’d like to sell you… lol

  • BobSF_94117

    Gay baseball fans should keep their ticket stubs and mail them to this moron with a note: “Nope, still gay!!!”.

  • noni
    • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

      Can’t go through 6m23s of this bullshit. I’ll take your word for it.

  • TexPlant

    he sure is dumb!

  • TexPlant

    gee I should list all the men I rescued from heterosexuality!!

  • ChitownKev

    I found out he loved baseball and I got him tickets to a Cubs game. He shot me a Facebook post and said, ‘I was not expecting that and I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I’ve chosen to walk away from my lifestyle.’”

    Dude, being that Wrigley Field IS pretty much in Boystown, you just turned him on to “that lifestyle.”…I ain’t mad at that queen for squeezing some Cubs tickets out of your bigoted ass, though.

  • Blake Jordan

    Conservatives are out dumbing each other, with the nutty shit they are saying, big time lately (always)!

  • FlKeysKevin

    If he’ll get me Final Four tickets, I’ll at least ogle one woman’s boobs and see if it changes anything.

    • Ok, wanna start with her,?
      SEND KEV THE TICKETS, DAMN YOU!!!

      • FlKeysKevin

        Not this one. She’d kick my ass.

        • yeah she’d kick EVERYone’s butt…. simultaneously. but gimme an anupvote here. I worked hard to find babetits you’d ogle

  • Ted

    I hope the guy enjoyed the game. I wonder if he’ll get tickets if he ha sa similar conversation next year?

    • Ted

      “ha sa” = “has a”

      I’m sure you all knew what I meant.

      • Octavio

        Beware the typo police. Their wrath is obsessive.

      • Claude Jacques Bonhomme

        There’s an easy solution. Create a real account, and you’ll be able to edit your posts.

        • Ted

          Actually I have one, but it depends which device I’m using when I’m posting, since they’re not all logged in all the time, and rather than looking for the password to log in, sometimes it’s just easier to post as a guest.

  • Regan DuCasse

    I think the bigger virus that should be cured is bigotry. Obviously, no Benham is capable of THAT.

    • jomicur

      Maybe someone should buy him tickets to Les Miz. Of course it would have to be two tickets, since his brother needs curing too.

      • Octavio

        They both need to be cured like southern hams.

  • dcurlee

    Yea some baseball tickets…I’m outta this lifestyle. I’m still in amazement that buys this crap

  • Galvestonian

    BULL-PUCKEY !!!! NAMES – we want a name – who is this so-called gay person ??? …amother lying bigot asshat.

  • Secure

    What about high school & college gay baseball players? Professional gay baseball players? Do football tickets turn gay guys bi? Why baseball? What about ice hockey?

    • Octavio

      Hockey tickets only turn wives frigid.

      • brrrrrr

      • Reality.Bites

        Q: Why do Canadians make love doggy style?
        A: So they can both see the hockey game.

  • UnkleSpunky

    Sooooo … if i send him tickets to the Ice Capades, will he go fuck himself?

  • CB

    Yes! This works. I can’t tell you how many heterosexual men I’ve turned gay by getting them tickets to “Wicked!” I’m just surprised that it took Benham so long to embrace the ticket therapy modality.

  • Time to pick out some of their sponsors who sell to people in the LGBT Community and start a boycott. Pick three. KFC won’t work, but Home Depot will (note I have no idea if these companies are their sponsors but just giving an example). The others will get the message.

  • CB

    The guy is going on tour with the woman who told Michele Bachman that a vaccine caused her child to be autistic. And anyone Todd Stains reports on.

  • I’ll take some baseball tickets! Been to quite a few pro baseball games and still gay. But watching hot jocks live? Totally gay! Send me the tickets!!!

  • Fyva Prold

    How to cure gayness: bend it like Benham.

  • A Big Sarcastic Fairy!

    I bet you this asshat gets blowjobs on the DL.

    • He has an athlete twin brother to share secrets with

  • Ninja0980

    Or maybe the guy you gave the tickets to knows a fool when he sees one.

  • cmh

    Horse shit.

  • Barry William Teske

    Sadly there is no quick cure for HATE.
    Educate those that are raised on HATE.
    For those lying…
    Verifiable proof Mr Benham.
    Provide verifiable proof.
    Access to the receipts as well.
    Perhaps someone needs to take a closer look at your bank account as well.

  • Rich Schanno

    YEah Im sure that happened.. Fucking Lying cunt bag. But he is hot….

  • Lindoro Almaviva

    I am so tired of this queen and his God complex.

  • MB

    UPDATE: I was able to locate the post on Benham’s FB page. Here it is:

    “David-

    Wow. Thank u so much for the Cubs tix. After everything I said to you, I didn’t expect this. Your gift of Cubs tickets has really made me rethink things. I am going to walk away from this sinful lifestyle. However, it will be difficult, and I will probably need more tickets to keep up my faith. If you could arrange for season tickets to be delivered annually, I think I can promise you that I will never return to that life of sin! Please confirm your acceptance of this offer at your earliest convenience.

    Yours in Christ,
    Cardinal Raymond Burke, Chicago”

  • olandp

    If that isn’t a case od serious gay face I don’t know what is!

  • DaveMiller135

    I’m waiting for you to lose your appetite for hate. But I’m not holding my breath.

  • Ninja0980

    Speaking of baseball, the hubby and I went to the Baseball Hall of Fame today.
    It’s a trip everyone should make at least once.

  • John Kusters

    Cool story, bro, but as the kids say these days, “Pics or it didn’t happen.”

  • Emma Duncan

    I’ve chosen to walk away from my lifestyle.” said no one, ever. I really wish that these “lifestyle” folks would get a nice look at how our “lifestyles are just as boring and mundane as theirs are. lets see, my “Lifestyle” today was do laundry, surf the internet, figure out what to eat for dinner, that box of Stouffers mac& cheese is calling me! and after dinner I will walk the dog maybe go for a nice run. watch the news…maybe a movie…sleepytime night night. just overflowing with perversion.

  • Opus37

    If they “change” to a hetero, most likely they were bi all along.

    • Reality.Bites

      Hard to tell – since there aren’t any verified cases of ANYONE becoming hetero. At most, still gay, but able to get it up with their eyes closed and fantasizing wildly.

      Bi people don’t bother with this crap. If they want to live an outwardly heterosexual life they just go ahead and do it. Only gay people go to a “therapy” session to try to make a non-existent desire appear from nowhere.

      • There are millions of gays living hetero type lives who don’t mention being actually gay because most people whether gay or straight act like that’s a weird weird thing to say. I’m not bi; I’m a woman who has married men. There are MILLIONS of us. My dad who is a physician agrees that’s there’s millions of us. Just sayin’.

        I demand marriage equality 50 years ago!!!

    • i think it’s possible, if you want to and try, to create a relationship with a member of the opposite sex, but it doesnt change who you are. So you can change the likelihood of someone calling you bi, but you arent straight.
      i think the guy he gave tickets too was just trying to be nice in a hilarious way.

      • Opus37

        My point is just that, if you are gay or lesbian you are not going to change to being hetero. You may if your bi, because you like the opposite sex anyway. You can not change, what is born in you. It’s like changeing the color of your eyes to green, when they are blue. Yes you can put contact lenses on, but your eye are still blue under the lens.

        Ps I saw that you got 563 up vote on barbweird, how did you do that?
        I am also. give them hell. Sure like to know how you did that. 8-).

        • A person who can be mistaken for being bi can also be mistaken for hetero. I’m a gay woman who needed to be part of something; i married 4 interesting men, this last for 27 years so far, and you shoulda seen the Juan that got away! I may have a prob with my mother… But i am a lesbian –not a frustrated one, nor a foolin around grrl. life’s been good to me– and nothing matters more than fighting until all of us get all civil rights, certainly the ones i had for the past 42 years… Honestly I don’t know how that huge upvote happened, someone mentioned it! I HAD reached out to the community here! No idea! I like you as LifeCanBeSimple and recall upvoting you.

          • Guest

            I am a 58 year old lesbian, and been with the same women for 21 years. We got married in 2013, in New Mexico. Never was interested in men, but always had men as good friends. I ues my alias, on barbweird , because they have baned me, what can I say I like stirring the pot. 😎

          • Im just 2 years older than you. Congrats on your marriage of actually 21 years!! and it was YOU who pointed out the score! XXXX
            Friend me on Facebook. I love you!

          • Opus37

            Done! Talk soon.

          • how will i know it’s you? are we friended yet?

          • Opus37

            Yes, I sent you a message in Facebook.

          • RCQ_92130

            You have more stories than a CIA agent. Golly gee – I wonder if even YOU know who / what you really are (other than being a liar – which EVERYONE, including you, can hardly miss).

          • Opus37

            You and your barbweird friends, are the biggest liars on disqus. The lies you tell just so you can further your propaganda is truly outrages. Go on home, before someone drops a house on you. (wicked witch reference) LoL. 😎

          • Yup RCWetc claims I’m a man! ::giggle:: Only right wingers presume a gal cant have smarts. In person, no one thinks I’m a man. That’s probly true for Retc too

          • Opus37

            RCQ is a women. She is almost the worst of barbweird,….almost. You can’t trust her. She has lifted photos off people’s Facebook page and reposted them on barbweird disqus site. She can’t be trusted. She has only hate in her heart. 😎

          • Her rants against me are showcased there. She calls me homohater and used early drafts of things said against Scott Lively joined with any negative thing i said and remarks against ChriStains all at once. I said what do you call people ho want to kill and destroy us? You call em Christians??

          • Opus37

            Just be careful of your Facebook account. I don’t use my real name because of crazies like this.

          • if she uses it, id welcome all of breitbart to come see who i am and help me keep the poor warm and dry and well

  • teedofftaxpayer

    Does anyone believe this CRAP?

  • John T

    Sure, free tickets to a pageant full of bearded men with powerful thighs prancing around in tight pants. Bending, reaching, stretching, trading meaningful glances, grabbing their crotches, patting each other affectionately on the ass, fondling their leather accessories. That’s gonna turn me straight…

  • poose

    I grew up here in the Midwest (where I reside now) but spent almost a decade overseas (New Zealand and Australia) and have been home now for about two years.

    The culture shock was severe, and kind of jarring. “Reality TV” was in it’s infancy back then, and idiots like Mr. Smarmy above and the Duck Douchbag Squad were eye openers. I’m still not fully used to it.

    But the biggest issue is presented so well in this statement-that without a shred of evidence the devout swallow his lies whole with nary a cry of “Bull$hit!”.

    I again and again use the line from “Aliens”, when Ripley was being called into question as to the veracity of her story by a board of Inquiry:

    “Did IQs drop sharply while I was away?”

    I fear critical thought is lost.

    • poose, i lived overseas a bit- U.S. popular culture changes so fast for the worse. come here more!

  • BudClark

    They need high colonics and hate fucks.

  • Womyn2me

    I call fakesies. like some gay guy would give up the man shaft for baseball. lets be reasonable.

  • GayEGO

    “Cure gayness” ? This is really getting boring. There is nothing to cure and for those who think there is, they need to look at their own sexuality to see if they are blocking who they are, perhaps gay themselves!

  • “We had so many people from the gay community reaching out to us and one man in particular from the city of Chicago reached out and he said things to me that made me lose my appetite.”

    I’m going out on a limb here and saying flat out that this never happens. People “from the gay community” don’t usually reach out from a healthy, fun, and completely inclusive atmosphere to hate groups and say “Hey, maybe there’s something better out there!” If you are into drugs and raunchy sex… the gay community welcomes you. If you are in recovery and sober, the gay community welcomes you. Everyone in between is welcomed. There is ALL kinds of help with ALL kinds of issues. So what exactly was this man from Chicago looking for that he couldn’t find walking into the Center on Halsted, the most inclusive gay center in the country complete with a senior center and a gay assisted living facility, rehab, cafe, and COOKING SCHOOL?

  • Sean

    Nope. I go to baseball games all the time. Still gay. Born gay, the way Gaia intended it.

    • Sean

      P.S. Meet Glenn Burke, first major league baseball player to come out to his teammates and managers during his career and know as the originator of the “high five”.

  • josephsinger

    The man and his brother are both closet cases.

    • Can you imagine being a 13 tear old boy with a twin. Stuff happens