“Dear Joe, One stormy night, I drove to a mailshop hidden deep in a nearly deserted stand of warehouses. I’d heard something was up and wanted to see for myself. As I rounded the final turn, my eyes nearly popped. Tractor-trailers pulled up to loading docks, cars and vans everywhere and long-haired, earring-pierced men scurrying around running forklifts, inserters and huge printing presses. Trembling with worry, I went inside. It was worse than I ever imagined. Row after row of boxes bulging with pro-homosexual petitions lined the walls, stacked to the ceiling. My mind reeled as I realized hundreds, maybe thousands, more boxes were already loaded on the tractor-trailers. And still more petitions were flying off the press.
“Suddenly a dark-haired man screeched, ‘Delgaudio, what are you doing here?’ Dozens of men began moving toward me. I’d been recognized. As I retreated to my car, the man chortled, ‘This time, Delgaudio, we can’t lose!’ Driving away, my eyes filled with tears as I realized he might be right. This time the Homosexual Lobby could win it all. If you still oppose the radical Homosexual Agenda and want to defend the Family and marriage, then please immediately fill out the American Morality Survey and chip in with $5 or $10 or even $35 to Public Advocate right away.” – Eugene Delguadio, once again sending us his classic, completely made up, and hilarious story in his 21st money beg of 2014. I will never get tired of this tale.