PhoboQuotable – Matt Barber

“Oh, those fun-loving little sadomasochists. They do enjoy their, um, slapstick, don’t they? I’m flattered to have made such an impression. Comedy aside, though, forgive me if I find the specter of a fussy little mob of queer CPAs, I.T. geeks and interior designers in buttless leather chaps pointing at me shrieking ‘There he is! There he is!’ a little less than daunting. I hate to disappoint, but with the disgusting and wicked perversion that goes on at these events, If I did somehow end up at the Chicago Hilton, I wouldn’t be that hard to spot. I’m the guy walking around the lobby in a full biohazard suit looking for the exit.

“So much for ‘gay pride.’ I don’t blame them for desperately trying to keep their lifestyle under wraps. As John 3:19 tells us: ‘And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.’ The reality of the behavior doesn’t mesh with the rhetoric, you see. It’s all about ‘marriage equality’ and ‘civil rights,’ remember? We can’t focus on the actual perversion or America might get wise to the scam.” – Liberty Counsel spokesdouchenozzle Matt Barber, writing on Peter LaBabera’s reaction post to their “unwanted” fliers distributed at IML this weekend.

LaBarbera and Barber contend that since we don’t want them skulking around in their leather drag taking secret photos of unsuspecting consenting adults at a private event, then we must be secretly ashamed of what goes on IML. But you see, that’s how it is with these Christianist liars. We’re either “flaunting it in public” and “shoving it down their throats” or we’re secretly ashamed and in hiding while we’re shoving it down each others’ throats. They do not miss any opportunity to prove their hatred and bigotry.

A couple of other things – my friends think it’s just hilarious that LaBarbera repeatedly calls me an “atheist leatherman.” Porno Pete definitely has more leather than I do, as I am unmoved by SM/BD and own none. But I do love to hang out and party with my leather-loving peeps. Also, as someone so intensely fascinated by the relatively tiny subpopulation of gay men who enjoy kink, BamBam Barber surely knows that there probably was somebody in the Hilton lobby wearing a biohazard suit. I mean, I haven’t seen any pictures yet, but I’m guessing.