Manhunt Weather Report

Manhattan Forecast:

Standards will be dropping sharply after 2 AM,
when an ugly front will be sweeping in from the clubs.

Torrential drama may occur throughout the
mid-relationship zones.

Expect widely scattered pockets of sketchiness,
especially in Chelsea and Hell’s Kitchen.

Prepare for high gusts of attitude, particularly
above 59th street.

Ages reported to be in the low 20’s will be sharply
higher in person.

Travelers Advisory:

Distance to his place in the outer boroughs will be
approximately three times as far as he said.

Use chains as required.

Five Day Forecast:

Continued Regret.

(Originally posted August 2004)