John Hagee Knows Women

You really have to laugh at Pastor John “Gays Caused Katrina” Hagee, John McCain’s former spiritual advisor. Check out what he says about “today’s American woman.” A partial transcript via Slog:

God paints the portrait of the ideal woman and he takes time to mention that she is a mother. If the secular humanist of the 21st century took his brush to paint the portrait of the thoroughly modern Millie, it would be with a cigarette dangling out of her mouth, smoke twirling out of her nostrils, language that would make a sailor blush – even Rosie O’Donnell. Her breath would smell like a brewery, a condom in one hand and the feminist manual in the other, listing the local abortion clinics to snuff out the life that was within her body. Her allegiance is always to her career. Her children are latchkey children who come home and who live alone until mother and daddy finally arrive after dark.

Women can render service in many secular fields, but God says her highest and best field—in God’s opinion!—is that of being a mother. [… ] When mothers instill into their children honesty, responsibility, integrity, truth, industry, and a sense of honor, America’s future is secure. But when mothers abandon those principles, America is finished it’s over.

Slog’s Erica Barnett reacts: “Neat! I can’t reveal any of the super-secret details about the Feminist Manual, but suffice it to say it’s right there on my bookshelf next to the Loose Girl’s Guide to Your Best Abortion Ever! and Lesbian Sodomy for Dummies.”

The crack about Rosie made me laugh, but how dare he diss Thoroughly Modern Millie? Oh, it’s broughten, Hagee. It’s broughten.