The Ritz Returns

Here’s some exciting Broadway news: Terrence McNally’s 1975 hit play The Ritz is returning to Broadway in October, with Rosie Perez playing the role of Googie Gomez, which was originally played by Rita Moreno. I never saw the play, but the 1976 movie version is one of my favorite films of all time, one of those classic gay films that just gets better and better upon repeated viewings. And yes, my friends and I can quote from The Ritz as easily as most of y’all can quote Mommie Dearest.

For the baby homos out there, the plot revolves around a man (played on stage and screen by Jack Weston) who hides out from his mafia-connected brother-in-law in a gay bathhouse. While the movie can justifiably be criticized as one long joke, as Weston takes about half the movie to figure out exactly where he is, Moreno’s Googie is hilarious as the bathhouse’s real-woman performer continously mistaken for a drag queen. And here’s a bit of funny dialogue in which the clueless Weston (Gaetono Proclo) is invited to another man’s room:

Patron With Cigar: Crisco.
Gaetano Proclo: What?
Patron With Cigar: Crisco Oil Party. Room 419. Pass it on.
Gaetano Proclo: Pass what on?
Patron With Cigar: Bring Joey.
Gaetano Proclo: Who’s Joey?
Patron With Cigar: You know Joey. Don’t bring Chuck. You’ve got that?
Gaetano Proclo: Crisco Oil Party. Room 419. I can bring Joey but not Chuck.
Patron With Cigar: Check.
Gaetano Proclo: What’s the matter with Chuck? [answer is whispered in his ear]Gaetano Proclo: [absolutely horrified] Chuck is definitely out!
Patron With Cigar: [walking away] Hey, you won’t be disappointed.

There’s also a chubby chaser who follows fat guys around the tubs with a tray of pastry, shouting, “Jelly rolls!” When a not-fat-enough guy comes on to him, the chaser says, “I’m RESTING. It’s a EUPHEMISM for not interested, skinny!”

Other great quotes here. I can’t wait.