Tech Question

In order to a do an occasional short audio post, I’m looking for a decent microphone and audio editing program. All I’ve got is the lame mic that came with my laptop, plus whatever recorder came packaged with WinXP. Advice? I don’t need anything fancy, just something that a luddite like myself can operate. Is there anything out there that can make me more sound like Vin Diesel and less like Meg Tilly? Cuz that would be cool.